Seven months later, Julia's belly swelled before her. The inadequacy she felt and the longing she'd had for her mother during her first trimester had come back with a vengeance. At night, she stayed awake trying to retrieve from her memory every detail about her mother that she could. She thought back to the way her mother held Owen when he was first born, the way she could coax Claudia into going to bed without a fight, the was she was just such a great mom. It made Julia miss her so much. Sometimes, Justin snored in the background to her thoughts, and sometimes he stayed up with her, kissing her forehead, and wiping her tears, "I'll take care of you," he'd always say.
On this particular night, she thought back to the last time she'd spoken to Charlie.
She came to the house to pick up some clothes, and generally give Justin's parents a rest. She had planned for her and Justin to stay the night once he got back from work at the news station. When she walked into the kitchen she found Charlie looking up movie times for Kirsten and him.
He looked up at her and half-smiled, trying to be civil, "Well look who's here...God, you're almost there Julia."
"Yeah," she sighed, sitting at the kitchen table, "I can't work at the restaurant anymore—doctor's orders. I haven't been sleeping well lately and he thinks quitting my job until I deliver would be best for the baby. So I gotta do it. I mean, I'm still struggling to gain that extra weight he said I needed."
"You gotta take care of yourself, Jule," he said dryly.
"Well, anyway...Listen, I'm having trouble remembering. When Mom had Owen, it was a surprise, of course, but was she ever upset about it?"
"Not that I know of. I mean, she was 39 years old, not 17, with a husband and a job and practically grown kids who could take care of him anyhow. What would there be to be upset about?"
Julia stared at him as he calmly circled something in the paper before opening the refrigerator for a soda, "You want some milk?"
"Yeah." It irked her how he tried to hide the callousness of his statement with a calm tone. He had been being passively aggressive towards her a lot lately. She wanted to shrug it off, but she couldn't, "God, Charlie, and you wonder why I never come around anymore. How long are you gonna treat me like this? Cause the baby is coming, regardless. You said you were okay with this."
"I never said that. I said that I would be here for you, support you, and I am. You need money, a crib, baby clothes, come to me, I'm here. But I never said that I was okay with this, because I'm not Julia. You're still a baby yourself."
He sat the cup of orange juice before her, and Julia was certain that if she touched it, the anger that was building up inside of her towards Charlie would cause it to boil.
"I don't need this Charlie. The baby is mine, and she's almost here, and I'm keeping her. Why should I have aborted this little person, or filled out forms to give her away? My own flesh and blood Charlie. Because I'm 17? I'm tired of having to explain myself to you at every damn turn," her voice remained steady as tears began to stream down her cheeks, "It is early, but Justin and I are special."
Charlie shook his head, taken aback by her naiveté, "Julia—"
"No, we are Charlie. He adores me, and we graduated early through summer school, they hired Justin full-time at the station, we still have a chance and opportunities, and if we don't have your support, fine, but Justin's parents have been there for us every step of the way. We're smart people. And if you wanna sit here and tell me that I'm not and that I'm throwing my life away, then I don't have anything else to say to you. Ever."
He sighed and took a good, long look at his little sister. Her stretched out, contorted frame was so bizarre to gaze upon. It changed her so greatly, from the whiny and selfish yet adorable little Julia that wrote him cute letters about being forced to do the forbidden dance by apes in the Congo when she was twelve, to being this woman who worked quietly beside him at Salinger's, but now lived in a different house and probably wouldn't write anything else for a long time. She had changed so much already, and the birth of her daughter would only make the differences greater. He scratched his chin, "You were supposed to be so much more Jule."
Julia was exasperated, "Fine."
She struggled to push herself up from the table. When Charlie tried to help her, she pushed him away, "I can do it myself."
And with a long hard push, she lifted herself from the spot and left the kitchen, "Good-bye, Charlie."
She hadn't been back to the house in over a month. Claudia came by to see her at Justin's house every day though, and sometimes Bailey was with her. She did all that was in her 13 year old ability to comfort her sister. She kept tabs on Julia's shifting cravings and made sure that she had them. And she was there for Justin, too. She always admired the fact that he was sort of geeky and cool at the same time, sort of like her.
Thinking about Claudia made her feel like a poor older sister, so she shut her eyes and decided to count sheep. Last night she'd reached 3,000 before giving up the fight and turning on the TV to watch blender infomercials. She wondered how far she'd get this time.
The next day, she let Sarah talk her into going to the wharf with herself, Will, and Bailey. For that whole summer she hadn't felt much like running around with Sarah or Libby or Nina or anyone else her own age. She had too much to worry about, and sometimes, especially when she first began showing, she was embarrassed of how her peers would think of her. But Sarah's attitude remained bubbly as ever, she was a true friend. Plus, Justin would be away at work until later that afternoon. She wanted to get out of her head for a while so she went along.
She'd laughed along at the silliness that always ensues when Will and Bailey were in the same place. And she'd raised her eyebrows at the gossip that Sarah had to tell her about some of the popular kids at school. But her biggest reaction came from someone else entirely.
While the guys were excited about some trip to Mexico that she knew they didn't have time to take Julia was shaken by a familiar life. Just ahead of them was a group of guys, and left of the center stood Griffin, "Oh my God."
"What's wrong Julia?" Sarah followed her gaze, "Oh."
"Don't let him see me. Let's get out of here."
On this particular night, she thought back to the last time she'd spoken to Charlie.
She came to the house to pick up some clothes, and generally give Justin's parents a rest. She had planned for her and Justin to stay the night once he got back from work at the news station. When she walked into the kitchen she found Charlie looking up movie times for Kirsten and him.
He looked up at her and half-smiled, trying to be civil, "Well look who's here...God, you're almost there Julia."
"Yeah," she sighed, sitting at the kitchen table, "I can't work at the restaurant anymore—doctor's orders. I haven't been sleeping well lately and he thinks quitting my job until I deliver would be best for the baby. So I gotta do it. I mean, I'm still struggling to gain that extra weight he said I needed."
"You gotta take care of yourself, Jule," he said dryly.
"Well, anyway...Listen, I'm having trouble remembering. When Mom had Owen, it was a surprise, of course, but was she ever upset about it?"
"Not that I know of. I mean, she was 39 years old, not 17, with a husband and a job and practically grown kids who could take care of him anyhow. What would there be to be upset about?"
Julia stared at him as he calmly circled something in the paper before opening the refrigerator for a soda, "You want some milk?"
"Yeah." It irked her how he tried to hide the callousness of his statement with a calm tone. He had been being passively aggressive towards her a lot lately. She wanted to shrug it off, but she couldn't, "God, Charlie, and you wonder why I never come around anymore. How long are you gonna treat me like this? Cause the baby is coming, regardless. You said you were okay with this."
"I never said that. I said that I would be here for you, support you, and I am. You need money, a crib, baby clothes, come to me, I'm here. But I never said that I was okay with this, because I'm not Julia. You're still a baby yourself."
He sat the cup of orange juice before her, and Julia was certain that if she touched it, the anger that was building up inside of her towards Charlie would cause it to boil.
"I don't need this Charlie. The baby is mine, and she's almost here, and I'm keeping her. Why should I have aborted this little person, or filled out forms to give her away? My own flesh and blood Charlie. Because I'm 17? I'm tired of having to explain myself to you at every damn turn," her voice remained steady as tears began to stream down her cheeks, "It is early, but Justin and I are special."
Charlie shook his head, taken aback by her naiveté, "Julia—"
"No, we are Charlie. He adores me, and we graduated early through summer school, they hired Justin full-time at the station, we still have a chance and opportunities, and if we don't have your support, fine, but Justin's parents have been there for us every step of the way. We're smart people. And if you wanna sit here and tell me that I'm not and that I'm throwing my life away, then I don't have anything else to say to you. Ever."
He sighed and took a good, long look at his little sister. Her stretched out, contorted frame was so bizarre to gaze upon. It changed her so greatly, from the whiny and selfish yet adorable little Julia that wrote him cute letters about being forced to do the forbidden dance by apes in the Congo when she was twelve, to being this woman who worked quietly beside him at Salinger's, but now lived in a different house and probably wouldn't write anything else for a long time. She had changed so much already, and the birth of her daughter would only make the differences greater. He scratched his chin, "You were supposed to be so much more Jule."
Julia was exasperated, "Fine."
She struggled to push herself up from the table. When Charlie tried to help her, she pushed him away, "I can do it myself."
And with a long hard push, she lifted herself from the spot and left the kitchen, "Good-bye, Charlie."
She hadn't been back to the house in over a month. Claudia came by to see her at Justin's house every day though, and sometimes Bailey was with her. She did all that was in her 13 year old ability to comfort her sister. She kept tabs on Julia's shifting cravings and made sure that she had them. And she was there for Justin, too. She always admired the fact that he was sort of geeky and cool at the same time, sort of like her.
Thinking about Claudia made her feel like a poor older sister, so she shut her eyes and decided to count sheep. Last night she'd reached 3,000 before giving up the fight and turning on the TV to watch blender infomercials. She wondered how far she'd get this time.
The next day, she let Sarah talk her into going to the wharf with herself, Will, and Bailey. For that whole summer she hadn't felt much like running around with Sarah or Libby or Nina or anyone else her own age. She had too much to worry about, and sometimes, especially when she first began showing, she was embarrassed of how her peers would think of her. But Sarah's attitude remained bubbly as ever, she was a true friend. Plus, Justin would be away at work until later that afternoon. She wanted to get out of her head for a while so she went along.
She'd laughed along at the silliness that always ensues when Will and Bailey were in the same place. And she'd raised her eyebrows at the gossip that Sarah had to tell her about some of the popular kids at school. But her biggest reaction came from someone else entirely.
While the guys were excited about some trip to Mexico that she knew they didn't have time to take Julia was shaken by a familiar life. Just ahead of them was a group of guys, and left of the center stood Griffin, "Oh my God."
"What's wrong Julia?" Sarah followed her gaze, "Oh."
"Don't let him see me. Let's get out of here."