Hi girls! Thanks again for those of you who reviewed my story.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, all characters belong to Meg Cabot.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh my gosh! I just checked the word libidinous in the dictionary:

Libidinous: Having or exhibiting lustful desires; lascivious.

Michael is a limophile! Disgusting! And I was dreaming all the time about how he and I could end up together. Was I ever more in the wrong? Michael has sexual desires for a car! I feel so depressed… or is it normal after all? I mean I already discovered the other day that cars kind of turned guys on but I had not realised that it meant they wanted to something to the car! Or am I too naive about the whole Men-and-their-hormones subject?

I think I definitely need to discover more about men. The question is: HOW?

I could ask mom but she might end up thinking I'm considering having sex with Kenny. The mere thought of it gives me nausea! Though she might force me to break up with him then. Yeah, in that case… maybe I'll speak about it with her.

Of course I could also ask Lilly about it because, hell, she's bright and would certainly know already everything there is to know on the subject (Yep, that's called inborn knowledge). The problem is that she would make a fuss about it as she'd understand right away that this all about Michael.

Grandmère certainly knows something on the subject too but hello! The idea of speaking about hormones with Grandmère gives me the creep.

Dad? Way too uncomfortable for me to mention that kind of subject with him.

Kenny? He would think I'm interested in him in that way (Sorry but I think I need to puke).

Maybe Shameeka? She really knows a lot about men. Or Tina, not that she has experience in the field but she reads so many romantic novels… Hum, now that I think about it. I know who is a real expert on the field: Lana Weinberger! But there's no way I will ever ask her anything about that. I mean it would just give her one more opportunity to make fun of me. And I couldn't trust what information she gives to me either.

In fact, life with Lana has become more and more hellish. Who would have thought it was possible? Wait a second… me! Mr. G. has grounded her for a week because of that sexual conversation she's had with Josh over the phone. And Lana has been raging ever since. And of course I'm the victim of her bad mood because she can't do much about mom and Mr. G, so she takes her revenge on me. In one week she's succeeded in making my life a total misery. Her first attempt to ridicule me was rather a failure because many people happened to like my poem and now I'm writing for a poetry contest thanks to her. But she certainly succeeded with the rest. Here's the list of what she did to me:

- She stole my T-shirt in sports. I actually had no clue who had done it until she gave it back to me yesterday evening. She's used it to wax her shoes! The T-shirt is dead and it was one of my favourites.

- She told the whole school that the reason why I don't have breasts is that I, in fact, am a guy. Yes, that's true (I mean true that she said that, not true that I'm a guy!), and some people now really believe that I have a little something in between my legs. Yeesh.

- She stole my queen Amidala panties and brought them to school where she nailed them in the cafeteria. Actually almost nobody has had time to see them because Michael was in the cafeteria at that time and he took them away from her. Michael is way stronger and smarter than she is so there's no way she could have fought him back. Anyway I almost died out of shame when Michael handed them back to me. He did that very discreetly thankfully. He's so wonderful, and cute and adorable and sexy! Only, I almost had a heart attack when he asked me if we could meet secretly behind the school at the end of the day. I was on cloud nine for three hours. God, I'm so pathetic! I thought he was going to ask me out. So it was some kind of a shock when he handed me the Amidala Queen outfit. And now Michael has one more reason to see me only as his little sister's best friend because, hello, wearing Queen Amidala panties doesn't make me look like a hot attractive woman but instead like a baby girl!

To make things even better, he then left with Judith Greshner! Great!

- Michael came to tutor me on Saturday morning (I had told him that I had princess lessons in the afternoon so he actually offered to come over in the morning. This guy sure loves Algebra! I mean I can't see any other reasons why he would wake up so early on a Saturday morning to tutor me). Anyway. Lana was home and she kept bugging us calling us "lovebirds" and asking if Kenny knew I was a two-timer kind of person. She even called him to ask what he thought about me dating Michael Moscovitz when he is away. I then had to explain to Kenny that Michael and I are just friends and we were doing nothing else than Algebra (which is not totally true because I didn't listen to a single word Michael said about Algebra. No, I was too busy looking at his lips and dreaming about us kissing passionately. Also how could I concentrate when all I can feel is Michael's leg against mine?)

For a second I thought I could just let Kenny believe Michael and I were going out. That way he would definitely break up. Only I could not but deny it since Michael could hear everything. He would have been far too disgusted if he had heard me say we are indeed an item. Anyhow Michael left very soon after that and I'm sure he will never come home again to tutor me. Lana is such a pain in the ass! I'm not even sure he will keep on tutoring me in G&T. I just hope he will still speak to me.

- And the worst of it all… she shaved Fat Louie. Poor Fat Louie! How can someone be so cruel to an innocent little (uh… fat!) cat? There isn't a single hair left on him. He looks so miserable and –yes, I have to admit it- somewhat ugly. I cried so much when I discovered it. So now Lana is grounded for one more week but I don't know if I should be happy about that… Cause it means she will be in the house all the time and so more torturing to come for both Fat Louie and I. Why on earth don't they let her go live with Josh? Oh and I forgot about the good news! Lana's mother just called to tell they are going to spend two extra weeks in Europe! Yippee! We should all go out and celebrate this piece of news. Maybe we could lose Lana somewhere on the way.

So enough is enough! I might be unassertive but I cannot stand it anymore. Something has to be done.

From now on my life is going to change. Here is the list of things I will do:

#1 Sleepover at Lilly's. That will give me a break. And there are chances to see Michael without a T-shirt. Yummy!

#2 Summon an emergency meeting with all of my friends so we can come up with an idea to get rid off Lana! If that is possible…

#3 Write a wonderful poem for the Poetry contest

#4 Break up with Kenny

#5 Tell Michael I love him

I did a love test on the net today to see if Michael and I could be an item. And yes! We have a score of 84%. Isn't that great? Though I also checked Lana and Josh out of curiosity and they have a better score than Michael and I: 88%. It's so totally unfair! Although it is actually true that they are perfect for each other as they are both equally vain. I also checked out the score Kenny and I get. It turns out we actually have 0% of compatibility and our relationship is doomed. I knew it long before I took the test though, as it doesn't take a genius to notice that. I mean the fact that I actually always want to puke whenever I think about Kenny's lips and tongue (not that I think about those a lot but of course I sometimes have to. Like when I see his mouth getting near mine!) was a good clue.

#6 Tell Grandmère that I quit Princess lessons.

When I will have achieved all of these resolutions, I'll be a new me! However, I think I can forget about objectives 5 and 6!

***

Oh my god! My life is over! I had the most embarrassing evening ever. It had started rather well though. I went to Lilly's for the sleepover as I had planed to. Of course, I made mom promise she would look after Fat Louie and protect him from Lana's attacks before I left. I actually felt guilty leaving him home with that monster, but I so needed a break.

As usual Michael was not wearing any shirt and looked terribly hot. And he didn't seem that disgusted about me anymore. I bet he has already forgotten everything about Lana's accusations of us being lovebirds. I wish I could have forgotten too but seeing as I love Michael, I can't forget how great it was to hear someone (be it Lana!) call us lovebirds.

Anyhow Lilly decided that we would all be going to the movies so she called everybody and we decided to meet in front of the movie theatre. Now, it did sound like a great idea to me… until I realised that she had invited Kenny to join us as well. Which meant that I was going to spend one hour and forty-five minutes trying to avoid physical contact (or more precisely lips and tongue contact) with Kenny. Great! Not to mention the fact that Michael asked Judith to come along.

I took comfort in the idea that at least Lana was not going to be there, seeing as she is grounded home. Or at least that's what I thought! But the first thing I saw when we got there was a couple making out. And they sure looked like Josh and Lana! As far as I know Lana doesn't have a twin sister nor does she have a clone (thanks god!) so there was no doubt left: it was indeed Lana. I guess Mom and Mr. G. couldn't stand her anymore and allowed her to go out so they could have one peaceful evening. It does seriously bug me though. I mean Lana is everywhere these days: school, home, movies… if it goes on I will end up finding her in my bed. How gross!

Anyway we managed to sit far enough from each other… and I ended up sitting in between Kenny and Michael. Lars was just behind me. I must definitely thank him for 1) letting Michael sit on my left and 2) scaring Kenny out of the idea of kissing me. Meaning that I could indeed watch the movie instead of stressing about Kenny's lips. As a matter of fact I completely forgot about Kenny though he was still holding my right hand. I totally forgot about Judith Greshner too. I just enjoyed the movie (and the smell of Michael sitting by my side). And it was not before the end of the movie that I realised that I had been squeezing Michael's hand during most of the movie. How embarrassing! I just hoped nobody noticed. I mean except Michael since there is no way he can't have noticed. I wonder what he must have thought? Anyhow I panicked, pulled my hand away very quickly and uttered: "Sorry Michael… it's just… the movie was so scary, you know… didn't realise what I was doing!" Which was kind of lame because the movie wasn't THAT scary! Plus I was also holding Kenny's hand (or rather Kenny was also holding my hand), which should have been enough… Michael was about to answer something but at that point Kenny, who was still holding my right hand, pulled me out of the room. I thought he was about to make a scene since he seemed in such a hurry to leave the room, but it turned out that he just wanted to French kiss me while Lars was in the bathroom. I guess that means he didn't notice me holding Michael's hand. I pretended I'd sprained my ankle. Apparently I am a good actress cause he stopped to look at it. The fact that I was crying in pain might have helped my acting. (What he didn't know is that I was in fact crying because of the holding-hands-with-Michael incident, not because of my completely healthy and pain-free ankle). But my plan worked: Lars sure did have time to come back from the bathroom before Kenny could find the opportunity to French me! Phew!

And now I'm in the limo on my way to the Moscovitzes', with Michael and Lilly. Neither Michael nor I are speaking but Lilly didn't notice anything at all since she is too busy speaking all the time, as usual. This time I am sitting in between Michael and Lilly (Great improvement on that side. I mean I'd choose Lilly over Kenny any day and no, I'm not interested in girls!). I must say that I have terrible difficulties resisting the temptation of squeezing Michael's hand again. I think this will be a very very long night…