Harry Potter and the Purple Llamas: Part Two
Disclaimer- I own the dollar twenty-five in my pocket, the lighter in my back, and the clothes on my back. I also own Harry Potter. That's right, bitch, I am JK Rowling. I do not own Supreme Pre, The Girl W/ ESP, the purple llamas, sailor moon, or agent orange. Neither do I own Hitler, Draco, a hairbrush, a house, a castle, a television, or even a kitchen. I do not own anything illegal either, so don't bother checking my house. I also am a liar. Not for the illegal part. For the JK Rowling part. I do not own Harry Potter, as if I did, the series would be nowhere near as well known. Do not sue me, and please, forgive my insanity. NUTS TO YOU (btw I do not own either) I also own the excitable flute player at bandcamp, also known as ARGH
Now, on with the insanity
Several years after the last installment of the story of our hero and his relationship with our gods, we find Harry, sitting in a house, preparing for his sixth year of school. Again. Turns out Headmaster Snape was always right, he is a dumbass
Girl W/ Esp- Hello Harry. How old are you now?
Harry- Tweeeeeeeeennnnnnnntttttttttty
Supreme Pre- Uhm... Aren't you supposed to have killed Voldie shorts by now or something?
Harry- Voldie.... Shorts?
Argh- Scaly guy, red eyes, evil megalomaniac?
Harry- OH You mean Uncle Tom? No. He's my best friend. Lives in a cabin these days. We had tea the other night.
Supreme Pre- Wait. What happened to you?
Harry- When I refused to acknowledge the Purple Llamas as the Supreme Rulers of the Universe, I suffered several mysterious bumps to the head.
Purple Llama- Damn right you did.
Argh- Oy. So, what's going on with you now?
Harry- Well, I was hoping you'd tell me. You are the author after all.
Argh- Oh yeah
Foamy- FREE YOUR MIND
Argh- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Girl W/ Esp- A cracked out squirrel named Foamy. I know, because I have ESP
Foamy- Wait. Where am I? DID I DO IT? DID I FREE MY MIND ENOUGH?
Supreme Pre- Girl W/ Esp, you faker. You may as well join Trelawney. Everyone knows he is from illwillpress.
Girl W/ Esp- No.
Argh- Goddamnit, be under my control. This is my story
Harry- Uhm, 'scuse me but Uncle Tom is coming over with a new toy soon.
Argh- Toy?
Thomas Marvalo Riddle- ::singsong voice:: oh haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrryyyyyy... I have a beaut for you. A redhead this time. Please don't break her so fast, Its hard for me to get cute ones these days
Argh, Supreme Pre, Girl w/ Esp- ::gasp::
Tho-mas- Who are 'dey?'
Harry- Delusions
Supreme Pre- I AM NOT DELUSION I AM THE SUPREME DICTATOR FEEL MY WRATH
Voldie- Erm...
Supreme Pre ::flies mysteriously into wall::
Purple Llama- FOOL. You will never rule
Argh ::rolls eyes::
Girl W/ Esp- My sight. Its clouded. What is going on?
Super Schwartz- Well, much has happened since you last visited our world... blah blah blah de blah death blah blah blah fool blah blah blah llama blah twiddle de dee six years blah blah blah blah Dumbledore's gone blah blah blah blah Minerva is a sex slave blah blah blah blah... six hours later... and now I rule the world.
Argh- Not America, you don't
Riddle- Why would I want to rule America, snobbish pigs.
Frodo- The ring... its so pretty... Me wants.... My precious
Riddle- Where'd he come from
Argh- You think I know?
Harry- ::plays with new 'toy'
Frodo- Aren't you the author?
Argh- Psh, I gave up on that one.
Snape- I reign over you with my 'snarky'-ness
Argh- what is snarky? Other than the description always used for you?
Snape ::shrug:: I'll be damned if I knew.
Fangirls- Snape, you are so snarky.
Snape- wow you have long legs. Reminds me of that Moon girl... always wore a sailor outfit
Sailor Moon- RESPECT MY AUTHORITEE
Harry- Uhm... yeah
Argh- I'm tired
God- ::Sends lightning bolt to voldie::
Harry- ::dazed look on face:: Whoa! I'm twenty. What happened the last six years?
Red head 'toy'- ::mumbles:: jackass, idiot, fool
Argh- G'night folks
Disclaimer- I own the dollar twenty-five in my pocket, the lighter in my back, and the clothes on my back. I also own Harry Potter. That's right, bitch, I am JK Rowling. I do not own Supreme Pre, The Girl W/ ESP, the purple llamas, sailor moon, or agent orange. Neither do I own Hitler, Draco, a hairbrush, a house, a castle, a television, or even a kitchen. I do not own anything illegal either, so don't bother checking my house. I also am a liar. Not for the illegal part. For the JK Rowling part. I do not own Harry Potter, as if I did, the series would be nowhere near as well known. Do not sue me, and please, forgive my insanity. NUTS TO YOU (btw I do not own either) I also own the excitable flute player at bandcamp, also known as ARGH
Now, on with the insanity
Several years after the last installment of the story of our hero and his relationship with our gods, we find Harry, sitting in a house, preparing for his sixth year of school. Again. Turns out Headmaster Snape was always right, he is a dumbass
Girl W/ Esp- Hello Harry. How old are you now?
Harry- Tweeeeeeeeennnnnnnntttttttttty
Supreme Pre- Uhm... Aren't you supposed to have killed Voldie shorts by now or something?
Harry- Voldie.... Shorts?
Argh- Scaly guy, red eyes, evil megalomaniac?
Harry- OH You mean Uncle Tom? No. He's my best friend. Lives in a cabin these days. We had tea the other night.
Supreme Pre- Wait. What happened to you?
Harry- When I refused to acknowledge the Purple Llamas as the Supreme Rulers of the Universe, I suffered several mysterious bumps to the head.
Purple Llama- Damn right you did.
Argh- Oy. So, what's going on with you now?
Harry- Well, I was hoping you'd tell me. You are the author after all.
Argh- Oh yeah
Foamy- FREE YOUR MIND
Argh- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Girl W/ Esp- A cracked out squirrel named Foamy. I know, because I have ESP
Foamy- Wait. Where am I? DID I DO IT? DID I FREE MY MIND ENOUGH?
Supreme Pre- Girl W/ Esp, you faker. You may as well join Trelawney. Everyone knows he is from illwillpress.
Girl W/ Esp- No.
Argh- Goddamnit, be under my control. This is my story
Harry- Uhm, 'scuse me but Uncle Tom is coming over with a new toy soon.
Argh- Toy?
Thomas Marvalo Riddle- ::singsong voice:: oh haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrryyyyyy... I have a beaut for you. A redhead this time. Please don't break her so fast, Its hard for me to get cute ones these days
Argh, Supreme Pre, Girl w/ Esp- ::gasp::
Tho-mas- Who are 'dey?'
Harry- Delusions
Supreme Pre- I AM NOT DELUSION I AM THE SUPREME DICTATOR FEEL MY WRATH
Voldie- Erm...
Supreme Pre ::flies mysteriously into wall::
Purple Llama- FOOL. You will never rule
Argh ::rolls eyes::
Girl W/ Esp- My sight. Its clouded. What is going on?
Super Schwartz- Well, much has happened since you last visited our world... blah blah blah de blah death blah blah blah fool blah blah blah llama blah twiddle de dee six years blah blah blah blah Dumbledore's gone blah blah blah blah Minerva is a sex slave blah blah blah blah... six hours later... and now I rule the world.
Argh- Not America, you don't
Riddle- Why would I want to rule America, snobbish pigs.
Frodo- The ring... its so pretty... Me wants.... My precious
Riddle- Where'd he come from
Argh- You think I know?
Harry- ::plays with new 'toy'
Frodo- Aren't you the author?
Argh- Psh, I gave up on that one.
Snape- I reign over you with my 'snarky'-ness
Argh- what is snarky? Other than the description always used for you?
Snape ::shrug:: I'll be damned if I knew.
Fangirls- Snape, you are so snarky.
Snape- wow you have long legs. Reminds me of that Moon girl... always wore a sailor outfit
Sailor Moon- RESPECT MY AUTHORITEE
Harry- Uhm... yeah
Argh- I'm tired
God- ::Sends lightning bolt to voldie::
Harry- ::dazed look on face:: Whoa! I'm twenty. What happened the last six years?
Red head 'toy'- ::mumbles:: jackass, idiot, fool
Argh- G'night folks