FEEDBACK: I don't own any of the Buffyverse, or #1 Crush by Garbage, so
don't sue me. I use them entirely for my own amusements and make no profit.
Please review to tell me how you think it's going so far and if any
alterations should be made. I'm enjoying this fic immensely and any
encouragement or comments are appreciated. You can probably work it out
yourself, but text in-between '/' are thoughts and in-between '//' are song
lyrics.
He led her gracefully onto the dance floor and pulled her gently to him. A brisk dance beat began, mixed with the singer's sensual cry that started the number. Her eyes widened suddenly as she recognised the song - she liked it very much, but she wasn't sure if she was too keen about dancing with Spike to it.
//I would die for you I would die for you I've been dying just to feel you by my side //
He pulled her closer still to him, leading her, holding her so tenderly, she thought her heart would break. His movement was so slight, yet so powerful and erotic. She felt every word of the song pounding in her head, and she tried to look away from Spike, his eyes blazing into hers.
//To know that you're mine //
How could one dance with Spike suddenly make her feel so... aroused? No... Something more.
//I will cry for you I will cry for you I will wash away your pain with all my tears And drown your fear //
He pulled her arms around his neck and leaned closer to her.
"You ok?" he murmured softly in her ear.
"Yeah...." still not looking at him. He put a finger to her cheek and turned her face toward him.
"We should do this more often you know. I forgot how much I love dancing, and the experience is infinitely better with you."
/What the hell is wrong with me? What are these feelings he's stirring in me? /
//I will pray for you I will pray for you I will sell my soul for something pure and true Someone like you //
/ His eyes are so beautiful, now that I'm looking at them I feel as though I cannot turn away. /
His voice was silky smooth as he lent even closer, his lips close enough to brush her throat. "I love you so much."
She almost shuddered with delight at this. He hadn't told her he loved her for a while, and certainly not in those tones since he had first announced his feelings for her.
//See your face every place that I walk in Hear your voice every time that I'm talkin' You will believe in me And I will never be ignored //
"Spike...." it came out half groaned, half whispered. She could almost feel him smile against her neck. His head bent and he soothingly placed a light kiss along her jaw.
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?" she managed.
"What does this mean to you?"
"I though we'd had this conversation more than once." she tried to brush off his question without causing any tension between them. The evening was going well so far and she didn't want to spoil it.
"You never gave me a satisfactory answer. All I've learned is that you like me, but don't love me. It doesn't tell me much, only that I have a chance with you; one I don't intend to waste. Really, now tell me, does this mean anything to you?"
"I don't know what you want me to say..... You're right. I do like you.... I don't like many people actually, not the way I like you. You already know I'm attracted to you... but....."
//I will burn for you Feel pain for you I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart And tear it apart //
/He wants me to tell him I love him. /
"But?"
"Spike, don't make me say anything I'll regret. I'm still not really sure so please stop pursuing it. You don't understand..."
"What don't I understand?" he sounded a little aggravated.
"I'm just so confused. You already know you love me and don't hate me for saying this, but I still feel a little weird about this and a certain loyalty to Ang-"
"Don't say Angel! Do NOT say Angel" his tones grew louder and some of the other dancers looked across to him.
//I will lie for you Beg and steal for you I will crawl on hands and knees until you see You're just like me //
"Spike, stop it. You're just expecting too much from me, why can't you be patient?"
"What, like Angel was?" He said the word Angel with so much loathing it scared Buffy for an instant.
//Violate all the love that I'm missin' Throw away all the pain that I'm livin' You will believe in me And I can never be ignored //
"No." she sighed.
/ Bitter honesty will only do with him/
"I don't love... no. I'm not in love with Angel anymore. There is a difference. If he came to me now and told me -" she saw Spikes face "- don't interrupt. If he came back now asking to be with me again for some reason, even if the soul became permanent I would say no."
"Why?"
//I would die for you I will kill for you I will steal for you I'd do time for you //
"I don't need him" she bent up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "But I do need you. That's all I know."
He wasn't totally happy, and he wouldn't be until he had her, but pursing this was not the way. If she were to fall in love with him she needed coaxing, not forcing. He pulled her right up against his body and put his arms around her waist.
"I'm sorry. I'm just.... just a stupid fool in love, you know that right?"
"Yeah.... I do, I wish things could be different sometimes."
"How?"
"I don't know, just that things were easier." she laughed slightly "I bet we all wish that. No, I only mean that things could be more straightforward. It doesn't matter how much we try to avoid it. I'm a slayer, you're a vampire."
He wanted to argue, but she was right. This was so wrong, but neither of them could pull away.
//I will wait for you I'd make room for you I'd sink ships for you To be close to you //
"If it makes you feel any better you accept me as the slayer better than anyone I've ever known."
"Really? Even - "
"Yes, but not just Angel. Riley, Xander, Dawn, Mom..... And that comforts me."
/ Does she trust me though? That's almost the most important thing next to loving me/
//To be part of you 'Cause I believe in you I believe in you I would die for you //
He decided to stop it there. He'd pushed her pretty far tonight, and the way with which she had reacted to it, not even protested much or beaten him down proved enough to him. She did care, but he was very impatient for more, and not just her love. The song ended and couples began to move away, but Buffy and Spike stood together on the dance floor.
"Do you want to go back to my crypt?" he said seriously.
/ Damn, this is the last thing I need now.... /
"Maybe not tonight Spike, I still think we should wait, sex is what got us into this mess in the first place" She was just repeating everything she had already said, but she didn't know what else to say. She saw his disappointment and tried to think of something to make him feel better. " Maybe you could walk me home, and we could do a quick sweep of the cemetery on the way." she paused " and if Dawns not in you could come in for a bit." she looked to him hopefully.
He was half delighted and half disappointed. On the one hand she was inviting him to her place, which was a big step and something they'd never done before. On the other hand she's given him another reminder of how hidden she kept their relationship. He hadn't mentioned it before, because he knew what utter wankers her friends were and how they viewed him. It did annoy him, but he'd certainly complained about enough tonight.
"Yeah, alright." was his answer, and he took her hand as they walked off the dance floor.
**************************************
Reviews please because I'm not sure about this chapter.... it's taking the story in the right direction for me, but I think I just repeated a lot of sentimental rubbish that was unnecessary. I'm just trying to get my view on the relationship across and the characters feelings. Please tell me if you think it's messy, because I'm not a good judge. Ho hum, maybe it's ok; I'm just paranoid about treating my characters with the respect they deserve ;)
He led her gracefully onto the dance floor and pulled her gently to him. A brisk dance beat began, mixed with the singer's sensual cry that started the number. Her eyes widened suddenly as she recognised the song - she liked it very much, but she wasn't sure if she was too keen about dancing with Spike to it.
//I would die for you I would die for you I've been dying just to feel you by my side //
He pulled her closer still to him, leading her, holding her so tenderly, she thought her heart would break. His movement was so slight, yet so powerful and erotic. She felt every word of the song pounding in her head, and she tried to look away from Spike, his eyes blazing into hers.
//To know that you're mine //
How could one dance with Spike suddenly make her feel so... aroused? No... Something more.
//I will cry for you I will cry for you I will wash away your pain with all my tears And drown your fear //
He pulled her arms around his neck and leaned closer to her.
"You ok?" he murmured softly in her ear.
"Yeah...." still not looking at him. He put a finger to her cheek and turned her face toward him.
"We should do this more often you know. I forgot how much I love dancing, and the experience is infinitely better with you."
/What the hell is wrong with me? What are these feelings he's stirring in me? /
//I will pray for you I will pray for you I will sell my soul for something pure and true Someone like you //
/ His eyes are so beautiful, now that I'm looking at them I feel as though I cannot turn away. /
His voice was silky smooth as he lent even closer, his lips close enough to brush her throat. "I love you so much."
She almost shuddered with delight at this. He hadn't told her he loved her for a while, and certainly not in those tones since he had first announced his feelings for her.
//See your face every place that I walk in Hear your voice every time that I'm talkin' You will believe in me And I will never be ignored //
"Spike...." it came out half groaned, half whispered. She could almost feel him smile against her neck. His head bent and he soothingly placed a light kiss along her jaw.
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?" she managed.
"What does this mean to you?"
"I though we'd had this conversation more than once." she tried to brush off his question without causing any tension between them. The evening was going well so far and she didn't want to spoil it.
"You never gave me a satisfactory answer. All I've learned is that you like me, but don't love me. It doesn't tell me much, only that I have a chance with you; one I don't intend to waste. Really, now tell me, does this mean anything to you?"
"I don't know what you want me to say..... You're right. I do like you.... I don't like many people actually, not the way I like you. You already know I'm attracted to you... but....."
//I will burn for you Feel pain for you I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart And tear it apart //
/He wants me to tell him I love him. /
"But?"
"Spike, don't make me say anything I'll regret. I'm still not really sure so please stop pursuing it. You don't understand..."
"What don't I understand?" he sounded a little aggravated.
"I'm just so confused. You already know you love me and don't hate me for saying this, but I still feel a little weird about this and a certain loyalty to Ang-"
"Don't say Angel! Do NOT say Angel" his tones grew louder and some of the other dancers looked across to him.
//I will lie for you Beg and steal for you I will crawl on hands and knees until you see You're just like me //
"Spike, stop it. You're just expecting too much from me, why can't you be patient?"
"What, like Angel was?" He said the word Angel with so much loathing it scared Buffy for an instant.
//Violate all the love that I'm missin' Throw away all the pain that I'm livin' You will believe in me And I can never be ignored //
"No." she sighed.
/ Bitter honesty will only do with him/
"I don't love... no. I'm not in love with Angel anymore. There is a difference. If he came to me now and told me -" she saw Spikes face "- don't interrupt. If he came back now asking to be with me again for some reason, even if the soul became permanent I would say no."
"Why?"
//I would die for you I will kill for you I will steal for you I'd do time for you //
"I don't need him" she bent up and kissed him lightly on the lips. "But I do need you. That's all I know."
He wasn't totally happy, and he wouldn't be until he had her, but pursing this was not the way. If she were to fall in love with him she needed coaxing, not forcing. He pulled her right up against his body and put his arms around her waist.
"I'm sorry. I'm just.... just a stupid fool in love, you know that right?"
"Yeah.... I do, I wish things could be different sometimes."
"How?"
"I don't know, just that things were easier." she laughed slightly "I bet we all wish that. No, I only mean that things could be more straightforward. It doesn't matter how much we try to avoid it. I'm a slayer, you're a vampire."
He wanted to argue, but she was right. This was so wrong, but neither of them could pull away.
//I will wait for you I'd make room for you I'd sink ships for you To be close to you //
"If it makes you feel any better you accept me as the slayer better than anyone I've ever known."
"Really? Even - "
"Yes, but not just Angel. Riley, Xander, Dawn, Mom..... And that comforts me."
/ Does she trust me though? That's almost the most important thing next to loving me/
//To be part of you 'Cause I believe in you I believe in you I would die for you //
He decided to stop it there. He'd pushed her pretty far tonight, and the way with which she had reacted to it, not even protested much or beaten him down proved enough to him. She did care, but he was very impatient for more, and not just her love. The song ended and couples began to move away, but Buffy and Spike stood together on the dance floor.
"Do you want to go back to my crypt?" he said seriously.
/ Damn, this is the last thing I need now.... /
"Maybe not tonight Spike, I still think we should wait, sex is what got us into this mess in the first place" She was just repeating everything she had already said, but she didn't know what else to say. She saw his disappointment and tried to think of something to make him feel better. " Maybe you could walk me home, and we could do a quick sweep of the cemetery on the way." she paused " and if Dawns not in you could come in for a bit." she looked to him hopefully.
He was half delighted and half disappointed. On the one hand she was inviting him to her place, which was a big step and something they'd never done before. On the other hand she's given him another reminder of how hidden she kept their relationship. He hadn't mentioned it before, because he knew what utter wankers her friends were and how they viewed him. It did annoy him, but he'd certainly complained about enough tonight.
"Yeah, alright." was his answer, and he took her hand as they walked off the dance floor.
**************************************
Reviews please because I'm not sure about this chapter.... it's taking the story in the right direction for me, but I think I just repeated a lot of sentimental rubbish that was unnecessary. I'm just trying to get my view on the relationship across and the characters feelings. Please tell me if you think it's messy, because I'm not a good judge. Ho hum, maybe it's ok; I'm just paranoid about treating my characters with the respect they deserve ;)