Chapter 17:
"Can I open my eyes now?" Emma asked impatiently with a mischievous grin across her face.
"Not yet!" Sean answered helping her out of his car. "Watch your step. Keep your eyes closed." He led her down a paved path while she took the tiniest steps possible.
"Sean!" Emma exclaimed trying her best to sound annoyed although she was extremely excited.
"Almost there. Just hold on to me," he said. They took a couple more steps then he positioned her accordingly. "Okay, you can take it off now," he said. She carefully took the blindfold off her face to find a picnic set up on the beach. There was a vase adorned with three red roses, apple cider and a white picnic basket carefully placed over a checkered blanket.
"Oh Sean!" she said as he took her hand. "I can't believe you did this. It's so sweet," she said smiling wide. "But how did you keep........" she began as he handed an eight-year-old kid five dollars. ".......it from being stolen?" she finished under her breath.
"Thanks for watching my stuff man," Sean said as the kid ran off to find his friends.
"This is amazing," Emma said.
"Well have a seat," Sean said as he opened the cider and poured it into a wine glass he took from the basket. "For the lady," he said handing the glass to her.
"Thank you Sir," she said waiting for him to pour one for himself.
"To another chance," he said raising his glass eyeing her reaction.
"Cheers," she said as her glass hit his. They both took sips and set their glasses down.
"Emma....." Sean started but a lump formed in his throat so he had to pause. "Emma I'm sorry for everything that happened between us before," he continued after swallowing. "I'm sorry about Snake. I'm sorry about Jay. I'm sorry about Ellie. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry."
"That was a long time ago Sean.....you're different now. I can see that," she said eyeing his khakis that actually fit and his white button down shirt. His hair was short and combed perfectly. This was not the man she knew in the past. "I forgive you," she said. "Just do me a favor."
"Anything," he said sincerely.
"Forgive yourself," she requested. Forgive. It seemed like such a simple word. He looked down at the gold cross he wore around his neck then held it firmly in his fist. She was right. He was different. Ever since his brother died, he never forgave himself. It was his Senior year at Degrassi. But instead of sleeping like a normal teenager would at 4:00AM on a Wednesday morning, Sean was in the hospital. It was dark and snowing harder than it had in twenty years. Tracker was speeding through the roads trying to get to him. There was an accident.....a drunk driver. Tracker died that night. All because Sean had overdosed on some drug Jay gave him while they were partying.
Sean was never the same after that. How could he be? He had seen first hand what drugs and alcohol could do. Yeah, he had read the headlines in the papers: "Kid Dies at Hands of Drunk Driver" and the next week there would be "Honor Student Overdoses". No one really paid attention. This kind of stuff happened all the time. Until it happened in his own life, it seemed so unreal. Sean was lucky to be alive, but the rebellious part of him died when his brother died. He stopped hanging out with Jay and the gang. It was easy because they all either had dropped out or gotten expelled. He went to all his classes, started going to church and landed a full time job at a mortgage company right after he graduated. He hated who he had been. He never forgave that punk kid. "Sean, are you alright?" Emma asked concerned that he had been fidgeting with his necklace in silence for an entire minute.
"Emma, I can't do that," he said so sadly it made her heart ache. There was another long moment of silence.
"Sean what happened with your brother wasn't your fault...." she said bravely breaking his train of thought. He looked up at her. No one had talked about the accident for over a year. His counselor said it was "healthy" to talk about it, but he could never open up. Talking about it triggered a wave of emotions he couldn't control. He didn't want to remember.
"Drop it Emma," he said with a steady voice that screamed he meant business.
"But Sean.....it was the driver's fault," Emma said overstepping her boundaries. "Not yours."
"Emma, I said drop it please," he said coldly. There was an iciness in his eyes she hadn't seen in a long time.
"No Sean!" she said standing her ground. "You did not kill your brother! The driver was the one who drank too much and killed Tracker!"
"And I'm the one who overdosed on speed! What's the fu$%ing difference?!" Sean screamed standing up. "This was a mistake!" he said getting up. He threw her his keys and said, "Take my car home. Just leave the keys in the glove. I'll pick it up later." He stormed off leaving Emma behind.
"Can I open my eyes now?" Emma asked impatiently with a mischievous grin across her face.
"Not yet!" Sean answered helping her out of his car. "Watch your step. Keep your eyes closed." He led her down a paved path while she took the tiniest steps possible.
"Sean!" Emma exclaimed trying her best to sound annoyed although she was extremely excited.
"Almost there. Just hold on to me," he said. They took a couple more steps then he positioned her accordingly. "Okay, you can take it off now," he said. She carefully took the blindfold off her face to find a picnic set up on the beach. There was a vase adorned with three red roses, apple cider and a white picnic basket carefully placed over a checkered blanket.
"Oh Sean!" she said as he took her hand. "I can't believe you did this. It's so sweet," she said smiling wide. "But how did you keep........" she began as he handed an eight-year-old kid five dollars. ".......it from being stolen?" she finished under her breath.
"Thanks for watching my stuff man," Sean said as the kid ran off to find his friends.
"This is amazing," Emma said.
"Well have a seat," Sean said as he opened the cider and poured it into a wine glass he took from the basket. "For the lady," he said handing the glass to her.
"Thank you Sir," she said waiting for him to pour one for himself.
"To another chance," he said raising his glass eyeing her reaction.
"Cheers," she said as her glass hit his. They both took sips and set their glasses down.
"Emma....." Sean started but a lump formed in his throat so he had to pause. "Emma I'm sorry for everything that happened between us before," he continued after swallowing. "I'm sorry about Snake. I'm sorry about Jay. I'm sorry about Ellie. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry."
"That was a long time ago Sean.....you're different now. I can see that," she said eyeing his khakis that actually fit and his white button down shirt. His hair was short and combed perfectly. This was not the man she knew in the past. "I forgive you," she said. "Just do me a favor."
"Anything," he said sincerely.
"Forgive yourself," she requested. Forgive. It seemed like such a simple word. He looked down at the gold cross he wore around his neck then held it firmly in his fist. She was right. He was different. Ever since his brother died, he never forgave himself. It was his Senior year at Degrassi. But instead of sleeping like a normal teenager would at 4:00AM on a Wednesday morning, Sean was in the hospital. It was dark and snowing harder than it had in twenty years. Tracker was speeding through the roads trying to get to him. There was an accident.....a drunk driver. Tracker died that night. All because Sean had overdosed on some drug Jay gave him while they were partying.
Sean was never the same after that. How could he be? He had seen first hand what drugs and alcohol could do. Yeah, he had read the headlines in the papers: "Kid Dies at Hands of Drunk Driver" and the next week there would be "Honor Student Overdoses". No one really paid attention. This kind of stuff happened all the time. Until it happened in his own life, it seemed so unreal. Sean was lucky to be alive, but the rebellious part of him died when his brother died. He stopped hanging out with Jay and the gang. It was easy because they all either had dropped out or gotten expelled. He went to all his classes, started going to church and landed a full time job at a mortgage company right after he graduated. He hated who he had been. He never forgave that punk kid. "Sean, are you alright?" Emma asked concerned that he had been fidgeting with his necklace in silence for an entire minute.
"Emma, I can't do that," he said so sadly it made her heart ache. There was another long moment of silence.
"Sean what happened with your brother wasn't your fault...." she said bravely breaking his train of thought. He looked up at her. No one had talked about the accident for over a year. His counselor said it was "healthy" to talk about it, but he could never open up. Talking about it triggered a wave of emotions he couldn't control. He didn't want to remember.
"Drop it Emma," he said with a steady voice that screamed he meant business.
"But Sean.....it was the driver's fault," Emma said overstepping her boundaries. "Not yours."
"Emma, I said drop it please," he said coldly. There was an iciness in his eyes she hadn't seen in a long time.
"No Sean!" she said standing her ground. "You did not kill your brother! The driver was the one who drank too much and killed Tracker!"
"And I'm the one who overdosed on speed! What's the fu$%ing difference?!" Sean screamed standing up. "This was a mistake!" he said getting up. He threw her his keys and said, "Take my car home. Just leave the keys in the glove. I'll pick it up later." He stormed off leaving Emma behind.