A Travel Through Time: Another Kidnapping Session with the Asian People
A/N: RE-EDITED! Just a few minor changes, took out Lyra and stuff. Otherwise, same old story.:)
"How'd you get in here?"
They were going to be slaughtered. No, cross that out. TORTURED before SLAUGHTERED and KILLED.
"How much did you hear?" Professor Granger demanded, as both Gryffindors looked up. "Ginny, seriously, I can handle this. No- Simon, CLOSE THAT USELESS MOUTH OF YOURS . . . Stop laughing, boys!"
They stopped. Ginny? For the first time he noticed the other woman. She was pretty, beautiful, magnificent, magical. Her hair was a flaming red just like Evans (Evans? Where'd that come from?) and was straight and waist long. Very silky, too, which made James want to lean toward and feel it. Her brown eyes were sparkling and she was just- well, stunning.
Sirius stood there, his jaw on the floor.
Professor Granger tapped his foot impatiently. "Well, what's your excuse, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black? Oh- not you TOO, Ginny. Stop laughing, for gods sake!" He snarled at the giggling Ginny.
"S-Sorry, H-Harry! It's j-just s-s-so f-f-f-f-funny!!!" Harry growled before turning to both boys. "OUT! Out, and I never want to see you in this damn room again! Oh, and detention tomorrow night at 8, in my class! AND 20 points from Gryffindor EACH! NOW OUT!" Harry both yanked them by the ear again ("Ow! That's the second time!") and threw them out by another door.
Harry whirled around after they were both out of side and snarled at Sirius. "YOU, will take out your stuff from the room next door and carry them out. You'll be living in the hall or the closet. Ginny can move in to Sirius's old room." Harry instructed, pointing to the third door.
"WHAT?" Sirius screeched. "No way! That's MY room, I am not giving it to Ginny! Make another spare room, like you did with me!"
A nasty smile appeared on Harry's face. "Oh, no, Sirius. I'm not going to do that. I don't FEEL like making a NEW ROOM for an IDIOT who can only count on how many times people told you to SHUT UP and can't SHUT HIS MOUTH when he has to, who EMBARRASES me in front of MY DAD and YOU'RE EVIL LITTLE SELF!" he screamed into his face, spit spraying Sirius' face.
Sirius was too scared to object. He flew into his room, and after crashing and banging sounds, Sirius came running out and left the room sweating.
"Okay." Ginny muttered. Harry was very intimidating.
Then, he turned around and flashed a charming one-thousand-galleon-smile to her. "So, Ginny, you can move in. I'm sure it's not that messy."
Ginny nodded timidly and opened the door and peeked in. Her jaw literally dropped at the sight. 'Not that messy' was an understatement. It was one word- ultimately messy. Ok, two words. Sure, all the stuff was gone (thankfully). But the sheets were tangled, the wallpaper was peeling, and the mattress looked like it had been through a (long) war.
She whipped around and turned to Harry. "Er, Harry, the room is- well, can you, um, clean it?"
Harry looked up from his book in annoyance. "You can reform it in anyway you like. Use the peeling wallpaper or something. Or go pick up pebbles from outside and transfigure them." He returned to his book.
Ginny raised her eyebrows. Reform? Harry was strange. Then again, Harry was not normal. She closed the door behind her and raised her wand and got promptly to work.
Sirius sat down on the floor, leaning against the hall walls. His trunk sat beside him. A nearby painting stuck her nose against him. "What are YOU doing here? Kicked out, have you? I knew you were no good."
He picked up a pebble and threw it at the painting. "Shut up." The painting continued grumbling.
What was her going to do?
Kicked out. KICKED OUT!!! HE, MR. CHARMING PERFECT FLAWLESS SIRIUS BLACK HAD BEEN KICKED OUT! The world as he had known it had come to an end. He banged his head on the wall screaming.
Another painting snarled at him, "Keep your damn voice down!"
Sirius glared at it before thinking again. Where was he supposed to go now? Ask for a new room from Dumbledore? That would not work. Because then Dumbledore would know that he, Mr. Charming Perfect Flawless Sirius Black had been kicked out.
The potions master walked past. She raised an eyebrow at him. "What are YOU doing here? Well, you're blocking the halls. Go back to your room." She walked out, turning her back on Sirius. Sirius cursed and gave her the finger.
The old Muggle Studies Professor happened to catch Sirius. "You make the peace sign with two fingers, not one. Don't they teach you anything?" she said icily.
Sirius glared. "Who'd I make the peace sign to, anyway?" he mumbled under his breath.
Then, he caught a house elf holding a silver tray. He was blessed by god with the new idea of where to live- the kitchens.
James sat idly on his chair, leaning against the window. He just didn't seem to be in the mood for homework . . .
"Yo! JAMES!"
James nearly fell. "What?" he asked grumpily, facing a grinning Remus.
He pointed to the pile of parchments and books sitting on the table beside James. "That." Then, he picked up a parchment and examined it. "Why, James, you haven't done a single thing! And this things due tomorrow. You think Professor Colbert will let you off the hook so easily? You promised a trip to Hogsmeade with us, James."
James yawned. "Gosh, Remus, it'll be okay. Besides, we'll schedule the trip to another day if I do get detention."
"Go study, James." Remus scolded.
"Fine." He mumbled, and got up to look for the right books.
He walked towards the potions section and began looking. Nothing interesting. His thoughts drifted to Harry Potter.
Lazily, he reached out and touched the blue potions book. At the same time, another hand touched the book at the same time. Suddenly, he felt himself being yanked out of the library before everything turned black.
"Excuse me, sir. Do you have a build you own boom box here? For sale?"
Harry was currently standing in front of the cashier of the Muggle Thrifty Shop in London.
"Yes. You're very lucky; we only have one more left. Boom boxes seem to be in high demand lately." The curly haired man said. 'Hmm, looks like the old Justin Timberlake,' Harry mussed.
"Here you go. This is the only one we have left." The man said, producing a box and taking out a boom box from it.
Harry stared.
"Er, mister? This is all we have . . ." the man said uneasily.
Harry stared.
"Uh? Sir?"
Harry finally found his voice. "It's- it's-."
"I'm sorry, but you see, boom boxes are in very high demand lately."
Harry sighed. "Fine. I'll take it."
After paying for his rather unsatisfactory boom box, Harry left the store and walked back towards the usual pub.
"Hello, Tom. Butterbeer?" Harry said pleasantly.
Tom grinned. "Got the boom box?"
He made a face. "Yes, but . . ." Harry leaned over and whispered something to Tom.
Tom's face looked horrified. "It's WHAT?"
"Shush, Tom. Well, I better get going. I still have a few essays to grade. Bye!"
Harry hurried off, leaving a rather dazed Tom.
James groaned. Something was on top of him- and it was damn heavy. Wait- it was a someone, not a something. He froze. 'Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.' He thought. The red hair was recognizable -anywhere-.
"Lily Evans!" He groaned.
She slowly got up, (still sitting on James) and looked around wondrously. "What happened?"
"Get the bloody hell off me, Evans!" James growled.
Lily jumped, noticing James for the first time. "Potter? Wait- that means- this is another one of your dratted pranks, isn't it? Getting us out of Hogwarts will NOT help!"
"Shut up, Evans. It's not a prank. Then I wouldn't be here. Where are we, anyway?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "That's what I was saying, Potter. Isn't it one of your pranks gone wrong?"
"Our pranks do NOT go wrong!" James replied huffily.
"Oh yeah? Well, what about the time you intended to prank the Slytherin table and ended up pranking the Gryffindor table? And the time you tried to make Snape's hair bubble gum, and ended up getting the dungeons filled with bubble gum, huh? And the other time you-"
"Ok, ok, shut up! So we did make a few minor mistakes-" Lily snorted. "A few? Minor? Are you kidding me?" James shot her a look. "Anyway, we have to figure out how to get back to Hogwarts. I don't like this place very much."
"That's right. You shouldn't like this place very much. And there is no way you will get back to Hogwarts alive. Now come. The lord wants you."
Both Gryffindors jumped. Two deatheaters had suddenly arrived. They jabbed their wands to their backs and growled, "Move!"
Frightened, they moved without complaining. Unconsciously, Lily reached for James hand and held it tightly. James hand was sweaty. They could tell the other was as nervous as the other.
They arrived at the elevator James remembered from his last visit. 'Professor Granger will save us, Professor Granger will save us.' He prayed. Like last time. There was still hope.
"Get moving!" the deatheaters snarled at them, as they stumbled into the elevator.
"What was the code again?" One deatheater asked. "C-V5." He replied.
He pressed the button and the familiar voice said, "Please state your name and the reason why you are here."
"Malfoy, Job Stag and Flower." One of the Deatheaters said. James gasped. "Malfoy! I'll get you arrested, I'll be sure of that!" Malfoy turned around and sneered at him. "Yeah? Well, see if you can come out alive." The elevator lurched forward.
Malfoy and the deatheater forced them out and led them to a guard. "Stag and Flower project. Get out." Malfoy sneered, as the guard stepped aside.
The inside was dark and cold, and James was roughly reminded of his last experience there. Ok, so maybe that wasn't such a bad memory, but still, it was creepy. The two were thrown into a cell that looked very much like the last cell he stayed at. Then, with a bang, Malfoy closed the bars and left after one final sneer. James sneered back.
"James!"
An urgent whisper came from behind him as he realized he was not at a position to get back at Malfoy with a prank- And Evans was here. Wait; did she just call him by his NAME???
"What should we do? We're stuck here. we'll get killed!" Lily whispered desperately. She really looked like she would burst into tears any moment.
"Relax, Lily, Harry Potter will come save us, like he did last time." James soothed her. It was true. Harry Potter DID come save him.
"Harry Potter? Who's that? I only know a Professor Harry Granger." Lily remarked.
"Never mind. Anyway, someone will come and save us, I swear. We won't die. We'll live and marry and have kids." James said, though it did look like a hopeless case at the moment.
"I'm scared, James... Who's going to rescue us, anyway? They don't know where we are, for gods sake!"
"They do. It was just like this the last time I kidnapped. Everything will turn out alright." James said determindly.
Suddenly, a cloaked deatheater arrived. "Aw, it looks like picture out of a postcard. Too bad I'll have to break it up, huh?" The deatheater sneered.
James and Lily were tied up right after that.
Oh dear. It really WAS a hopeless case. Where was that damning Harry Potter?
Then, they were roughly thrown towards the grounds and they were untied. But the horror had not ended- in fact, they were facing the fact that even Albus Dumbledore did not want to get stuck in. Facing Voldie, wandless, helpless, with a know-it-all girl. Great. The sarcasm.
Voldemort stood up and faced them. 'He's really ugly.' James thought, but quickly took that fact aside. That did not matter right now. It was a matter of life. Or death. Anyway, they were screwed. Majorly screwed. Damn god for making him die at seventeen. He hadn't pranked Malfoy and Snape yet!
"Welcome, Stag and Flower! Do you know who I am? Because I am not the Voldemort living in this year- but I am the Voldemort from 1999!"
There was a great round of applause. God, this guy was crazy. And everyone's scared of HIM?
"I will give you a choice before we come to a conclusion, James Potter. Join me, and live forever. We shall together bring the end of the muggle loving fool Dumbledore and the useless place they call the Ministry. Refuse, and you shall die.
"The girl shall die; we do not want her to produce the end of me. Kill her, Potter, and you will live." Voldemort finished his ugly speech.
James glared at him. "I will NOT join you're hell of a group! I am not evil!"
"There is not good or evil, Potter. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it. But very well, you refuse. You die. But just killing you will not be fun. A duel, I shall say. Deatheaters! Bring the boys wand and give it to him! Take away the girl; let her stay and see the end of James Potter! After, you may have your fun with her. But kill her in the end. We do not want any risk."
There was a great cheer from the Deatheaters and Malfoy came out with James wand. James snatched away the wand from his and snarled, "Get you filthy hands off my wand!" Malfoy gave him a dirty look and went back to the crowd.
"We shall start, shall we not? Go on, Potter. Let me see how you can do." Voldemort sneered.
He gulped. This was not fun. The first spell that came to his mind came right out. "Expilliarmus!"
Voldemort blocked it with ease. "You can do better then that, can't you, Potter? Dumbledore won't be able to save your stupid useless neck every time. And the scum of a deatheater won't save you, either. Don't worry; your little girlfriend will be taken care of properly by my deatheaters."
James shook with anger. "SHUT UP YOU SCUM! CRUCIO!"
He was shocked by his words. Did he just cast the unforgivable curse? Voldemort was shaking, but after 10 seconds or so he regained his steps. "You can do better. You need more hate it in. You are too pure; you cannot do the cruciatus curse. Shall I do an example for you? Crucio!"
James fell to the ground, withering in pain. It was greater then any pain he had ever experienced; it was terrible. But he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of screaming. Oh, no. Not ever.
Then, the pain disappeared. "It hurt, didn't it? But you chose the way. There is no backing up; I will kill you now. My deatheaters are impatient for the girl. Stand up, you fool, like a man, and face your death, your destiny."
James growled and stood up slowly. "I will not die!"
Voldemort laughed his terrible laugh. "We shall see! Are you ready, Potter? Because death is right behind you."
"Avada-"
Lily screamed and strained towards James from the bonds. James looked around. He was dead.
"Ked-"
WHAM!
"BWEE!"
"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID PIG!"
A hole had appeared right in between James and Voldemort. And out came running a little black pig with a bandana around its neck. And behind it, chasing it was an Asian boy about 16 or 17 in a pigtail, growling.
And both had just run over Voldemort.
James stared. Lily stared. The deatheaters stared. But the pig and the boy was not the end of the huge typhoon.
"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEN!!! Airen come to Shampoo!" An Amazon girl with purple hair and Chinese cloth riding a bike came running out, chasing after the boy. And ran right threw poor Voldemort.
But that was not all.
An Asian boy about the same age as the other boy with long black hair came running out of the hole waving a very dangerous looking muggle swords. "I KILL RANMA! COME BACK!" One of the swords got caught on Voldemort's cloak, and, noticing it, yelled, "NO BOTHER ME!" And threw Voldemort into the air who landed with a sickening crash.
But that was not all, either.
Another Asian girl with long brown hair came out waving a huge battle spatula. "RAN-CHAN! WAIT!" Running on Voldemort.
But that not all yet.
"RANMA! GET BACK HERE AND LEAVE P-CHAN ALONE!" A short blue haired girl wearing a blue uniform came running out slinging around a brown backpack. Which coincidently hit Voldemort right in the face.
But that was still not all.
A bomb looking like a ball came popping out of the hole and -exploded-. On Voldemort. Right on the spot. An extremely short devilish looking old man came springing out. "Where is the stupid Ranma?"
But that was not all.
A -panda-, yes, a PANDA, came stomping out on Voldemort holding a sign that said, "Where is Ranma?"
But the thing that hit them was not over yet.
Another Asian boy waving a katana (sword) came jumping out, yelling, "Osage no Onna! Come out!" Which hit Voldemort on the head.
It was still not over.
A girl in black leotards waving a ribbon came swishing out. "Where is my Ranma-sama?" She stepped on Voldemort's face as if it was the ground.
And it was still not over.
A very strange looking very tanned man with a palm tree on his head came sliding in riding a sleigh pulled by a REINDEER (which was pawing on Voldemort), sticking his middle finger at the long lined crowd chasing each other. "God damn Ranma Saotome!" He threw a pineapple into the deatheater crowd and joined the Asian crowds catfight.
A not so lucky deatheater caught the pineapple that exploded on the spot.
It was, too explain it simply, crazy. They joined in a clustered crowd and began doing their own crazy duel.
The deatheaters watched, dazed. James could practically see the three blank dots forming above their heads in a thought bubble.
Voldemort's head was buried into the sand. He was practically a part of the ground. Then, the deatheaters realized that their boss was buried into the ground by a bunch of Asian people. They roared, reared, and began throwing random hexes all over the place.
"YOU LOUD!" The Amazon girl yelled, and threw her huge sledgehammer type of thing at them, which hit a fair amount of them in the head and knocked them out.
CRACK
"SILENCE!"
There was silence. And guess who it was? Yes, Harry Potter. Or Professor Granger. Even the Asian people shut up. The boy with the dangerous looking muggle weapons stopped his sword halfway into the ground.
"James and Lily, come here. You have classes tomorrow. And don't you have homework? And you guys get back to Japan. I told you I never wanted to see you guys again except on Wednesday when we absolutely must." Harry scolded everyone.
He snapped his fingers and a black hole appeared. "Out. And hold on tight, James, Lily. Hasta la Vista, Voldie."
POP
And they returned to Hogwarts.
A/N: I'm so sorry for the late chapter! I've been busy with school and stuff. Also---
Coming up, who were the Asian people? And what did Harry mean by 'I told you I never wanted to see you guys again except on Wednesday when we absolutely must? What does the alethiometer mean to James? And what was wrong with Harry's boombox?
Extra Disclaimers: I do not own the Asian Characters (Ranma ï½½, by Rumiko Takahashi). Oh, and of course I don't own Harry Potter!( I wish I did, though.
Please Review!!!!