A Travel Through Time: Bubble Gum!
Disclaimers: I do not own the Asian Characters (Ranma ½, by Rumiko Takahashi) or Lyra and the alethiometer (His Dark Materials, by Philip Pullman) or Chips and Loafers (Artemis Fowl, by Eoin Colfer). Oh, and of course I don't own Harry Potter!( I wish I did, though...
Also, I'm sorry if I offended any Asian People by saying Insane Asian people in the summary part. But I didn't mean that all Asian People are insane- that's play insanity! Besides, I'm Asian, most of my friends are Asian, and my parents are Asian too.
NOTICE: I will be rewriting chapter 11 soon. No major changes, just a few minor ones that involve taking out the 'His Dark Materials' part. I forgot what I wanted to do with that evil compass... I'd take out the Ranma part, too, but I just love them too much! And besides, our dear Voldie getting run down by a couple of Japanese strangers is so very funny. And I was planning to make the Ranma characters appear again soon but I changed my mind. I mean, I forgot about what I was planning to write about, anyways.:P (This was last updated 9/19/03. Today is like 4/12, 13. You do that math. --;;)
Apology: I'm so so sorry for not updating! I suddenly didn't have the heart to write anymore, then forgot about it, then had a writer's block, then forgot about it again because of school and exams, then my computer got a virus (Trojan! Ugh.) and thus resulting in no updates! I want to thank Abbika Lupin and some other people for reminding about how this story actually existed.
Now, on with the story!
CRASH!
"OW!"
"Where are we?" James moaned.
It was completely dark... James just could not make out anyone. So he tried to get up using his hands...
"PERVERT!"
SLAP!
"OW!" Harry's voice cried. "I didn't touch you! Mr. Potter did!"
"POTTER!"
"It wasn't my fault! I can't see!" James wailed.
It really was pitch back. You couldn't even trace out everyone's body...
"Professor! Where are we? Did You-Know-Who get us?" Lily asked, her voice trembling.
"No, no. That isn't possible. I think I miss apparated..." Harry said in a wondering voice.
"Then get some light, at least!" James snapped.
Rustling sounds were heard as everyone searched their pockets for their wands.
"I think I lost mine..." Lily said in a high-pitched voice.
"MY WAND!" James shrieking brought everyone's attention. "IT'S BROKEN!"
Harry grinned, remembering that eventful second year.
"Professor! Professor! Get us some light!" Lily moaned.
"Nah, think I'll let you guys solve this. Good survival lessons, eh? I'll just sit here and see how you guys will handle this situation." Munching sounds were heard as their professor sat back and relaxed- however much you can relax on cold stone, of course.
"Hey. Is that popcorn?" James asked leaning over. "Gimme some- oof!"
SLAP!
"YOU PERVERT!"
"MISS EVANS! That was Mr. Potter, not me! That handprint is going to stay there forever!" Harry moaned, rubbing his cheek. "And no, you won't get any popcorn unless you get us some light!"
"Well. Potter, get us some light. I want to get out of here. I'm going to catch a stupid cold!" Lily said snappishly.
James said, aghast, "What? Why me? I'm just an innocent 7th year!"
Lily scoffed. "Innocent? Who are we talking about again? And it's you because you can do wandless magic easily, you smarty-pants."
"Who's the smarty-pants, smarty-shirts?" James snapped back, and waved his hand. "Lumos!"
Silence. And darkness.
"Uh, Potter? Yeah, think something went wrong there."
"Mr. Potter. Hurry up and get us some light before I spill my coffee on you!" Harry said airily, and the sound of a glass mug breaking was heard followed by a splash.
"ARGH! PROFESSOR!"
"Oooh that is going to so stain!" Lily said, gloating.
"Shut up. Lumos!"
Silence. And darkness.
"Profeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssoooooooooooorrrrrr!!! I can't do it!"
"You know, Potter, I thought you had a little bit of brain from wandless magic. But now I know that your head is as empty as a hollow walnut."
"Interesting use of grammar, Miss Evans."
"Thank you professor." Lily cooed.
"Shut up Evans. I'm trying! LUMOS!"
Silence. And dark-
"I DID IT! I DID IT!" Indeed, a small fire had appeared on the tips of James fingers. But-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"
-James fingers seemed to be on fire.
Lily, instead of trying to help him out, just threw back her head and laughed at him satisfyingly. "You deserved that, Potter. Thanks for the light though." She said smirking, and grabbed one of the magazines Harry had produced. "Good luck on getting water." She cooed, before opening the magazine laughing.
"MY FINGERS! MY FINGERS!" James screamed, running around.
Munch munch "Careful their, James. You might light one of my magazines on fire!" Harry said before returning to his magazine.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Shut up, will you, Potter?" Lily snapped.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
"SHUT UP!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
SLAM!
"OWWWWWWWW!!!!" James howled as Lily slammed her magazine on his head. "I said, shut the bloody hell up!" she screamed at him.
"But my hand- wait, it went out! Yes! But I've got a- a- burn! Oh, my god. I'm going to look like hell with this stupid burn!" James wailed.
"Hey- why can we see if James stupid fire went out?" Lily asked wonderingly.
"I resent that! That fire was FAR from stupid!"
Indeed, the place was still light. They could see each other very well. But the light was different from the light James had produced- how different? Well, the new light was-
"PINK! Holy smokes, I'm PINK!"
"Not really, Mr. Potter. It's just that the light is pink. And I think it's coming out of the light bulb up there." Harry pointed out to a small light bulb letting out pink light.
"Hey, that wasn't there! When'd it come on?" James asked.
"I think that light bulb has a magical reaction to light. When it feels light, it lights up." Harry explained.
"What's the use of that light bulb then?" James asked again, rolling his eyes.
Just then, all of them noticed a piece of string hanging from the ceiling.
"Hey, what's that?" James asked curiously, and reached out.
"POTTER! Don't pull-"
THWACK
"ARRRGH!!! POTTER! I AM GOING TO –KILL- YOU!"
Just as James had pulled out the innocent looking string, a huge mound of sticky ABC-looking gum had fallen out of the ceiling burying the professor, student, and idiot.
"Oh, my god. My ROBES! Potter, you are going to pay for new robes!" Lily screeched, looking around for something to bash James head with. However, since she found none, she settled for taking a huge glob of bubble gum and smacking it on his face.
James face was now in a very sad state. His face looked like a bubble gum statue now. "Mmmph mmmmmmph!!! Munph feee!!!"
Harry stood up, looking mad. He, too, was covered in pink bubble gum. "Mr. Potter! How thick can you get?"
"Mmphemmer! Munph feee!!!!"
"If you don't mind, please speak English, Mr. Potter." "Mmm murph feee!!!"
Suddenly, there was a flash of light and Harry was now cleared of bubble gum.
"Professor, can you clear me of bubble gum too, sir?" Lily asked, thinking of how unfair it was that their professor was cleaned and she wasn't.
Harry took a look at his old silver wristwatch. "Why, will you look at the time? It's dinner time already!"
"Mrrr mon ham metime!!!"
Lily turned around and stuffed bubble gum in James mouth as a replacement of a gag. "You and your moaning's are giving me a headache." She informed him, and went back to looking angelic for Professor Granger.
"Alright, hold on to me!" Harry yelled. "Ick... Actually, James, can you just grab Lily's robe? I'm going to get all gooey..."
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"
"Mmmmu!!!"
There was a flash of light as the two –erm, one student and crazy teacher left the bubble gum filled chambers.
"MMMMMRRRRR MUR MUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"
Professor McGonagall surveyed the variety of desserts served for dinner. Something just wasn't right...
Since lunch, Minerva had had a sneaking suspicion that the amount of food served was less then usual. Oh, there was enough food to go around- it just seemed have a few missing items and less food then usual.
Of course, it wasn't- shouldn't- be true. House-elves don't usually go on strike, do they?
She then looked for her favorite dessert- the mocha éclairs! She was simply addicted to it- of course, no one knew. No on was supposed to know. Their headmistress, addicted to mocha éclairs? Ha! She'd never be able to live it down.
She looked and looked for her beloved éclairs... but they weren't there! She looked frantically around, craning her neck to see the very end of the table. But no sign of them!
"Need anything, Minerva?" Melanie asked, munching on a Pumpkin Pastry.
"Oh, no," she replied, blushing lightly. "I just thought that I see a few things missing- the mocha éclairs, for example. Not that I want any of them, of course."
Melanie looked around frowning. "You're right. Perhaps Peeves wrecked havoc at the kitchens again? We should check it out later!"
The mocha éclair addicted Professor felt raging hot anger at the though of Peeves eating up all the éclairs. "Yes. Yes, yes, of course! I think I'll excuse myself for now then." She said briskly, and got up.
Mumbling, Minerva walked down the Great Hall, heading for the kitchens. "...That stupid Poltergeist must get Bloody Baron..."
When she reached the fruit portrait, she thought she could hear commanding voices... and it sure wasn't Peeves.
"Oh, c'mon. There should be more éclairs made by now! Make me chocolate cream custard filled éclairs, too."
Minerva stared at horror at the sight before her. A certain once handsome (he was extremely fat now, and the only handsome part left of him was his face) black haired man was lying on a couch, surrounded by a swarm of house- elves holding trays of empty plates and cups.
"Simon!" she gasped.
Sirius- ahem, Simon- turned around in horror and then forced a smile. "Uh, hi Minnie." He picked the last of the mocha éclairs from the trays held by one of the house-elves. "Éclair?"
Minerva snatched the éclair out of his hand and snarled, "Simon! What do you think you are doing in the kitchen? And have you no manners? Kindly do not call higher leveled teachers by any kind of pet name!"
Sirius' smile faltered. Then, he tried flashing his smile that made all the girls go gooey. Then, in a deep, mature voice, "Ah, very sorry Minerva. Got carried away there. Just visited to get some, you know, midnight snacks."
"For your information, Simon, it's still dinnertime now, far from midnight. And what," she pointed at Sirius' luggage. "Are THEY doing here?"
Sirius gave a small groan and taking a quick look at his watch, said, "Gotta go, Minerva. Running late! Ta Minnie!"
"SIMON!"
Too late- Sirius had already ran out of there for his dear life.
Minerva raised her eyebrows, and looked at the mocha éclair Sirius had offered her. "Might as well eat it. Go get me some more mocha éclairs, and get rid of the mess made by Simon."
Lily moaned and sat up. "Where am I?" She looked around- it was a very familiar looking place...
"Oh my god! What happened? Why am I in the Girls Dorms already?"
The last thing she had remembered was Professor Granger telling her- and James- to hold on, and then a flash of light.
'Was that a dream?' she thought. Yes, it had to be a dream. No way that could happen... the deatheaters, the bubble gum- it all defied logic.
Running her hand through her hair, she quickly ran down the stairs to the common room, only to find it empty except for one certain Marauder.
"Why hello Evans! How are you doing on this wonderful day?" Sirius Black was leaning back on the sofa with a smirk. "It's dinner time now, you know. What were you and dear James doing during your disappearances?"
Lily went red- with fury, mind you. "For your information, I was late to come back because of that darned Potter's stupidity. I don't care what James told you just now." She hissed, and tried to storm off of the common room.
Sirius, frowning, quickly stopped her. "What do you mean? He's not back yet."
"I don't know. And I don't care WHAT happens to that damned dumbo!" She snarled, and shook him off. "No leave me alone!" with that, she managed to storm very dramatically out of the common room.
Sirius confusedly scratched his head. "Huh. I wonder what he's doing. But was it just me, or did Lily Evans smell a bit like bubble gum?"
Meanwhile, the topic of Sirius and Lily's conversation was still sitting, stranded, on the cold cement floor, with Bubble Gum all over his face and cloak, and a burn on his finger tips.
"Mmmmmmrrr!"
God... He'd been sitting there for over an hour, desperately seeking for help. Why wasn't anyone coming? And stupid Evans and Professor Granger- or Harry- for leaving him there just because that wench didn't want her cloaks dirtied... she should find a better excuse next time.
But still, no one came. He was getting tired from screaming through his cloth... he supposed he could rest for awhile.
So he closed his eyes, trying to get some rest while waiting for those damned people to remember him and rescue him.
But he couldn't sleep. So instead, he opened his eyes and began imagining how many packs of Droobles Best Blowing Gum had been used for the whole building.
'That parts like 10 packs... or 15, maybe? Nah, 100! Hmmm...'
Back at Hogwarts, Lily and Harry were thinking about everything EXCEPT about James. Poor James never predicted that he'd be counting for a long, long time.
A/N: Bubble Gum! Who doesn't love bubble gum? a crowd of people raise their hands o.o;; Oh well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter at least! And also, don't expect another update for a looong time because my Microsoft Word is nearly crashing and the computer is so crappy that even the letters appear in slow motion. But I promise I'll try and write as soon as I can!
P.S. I will write about the Boom boxs mystery in the next chapter! I promise! I haven't forgotten about it.
Please Review!!!!