Locker Room, 1600 Hours

Sam opened the locker room door, towel in hand. She had an hour before the briefing. The men had got the showers first, thanks to the Colonel and his incessant whining that he needed to get this gunk off his face, right now. She sighed. He was such a pain sometimes. He knew how she hated those sort of planets, but she supposed she could see his point. If it had been her, she would want to get rid of it ASAP, as well. She grinned, it was funny though…watching him walk around looking like a make-up experiment gone wrong.

Besides, she still had just enough time to wash off the dust that caked her hair, her hands, her face, in fact everywhere that hadn't been covered by her BDU's and a few places that had, then grab a coffee and a bite to eat from the commissary before the briefing. Always providing she could get showered and out quickly. Her stomach rumbled. That settled it. Quick shower it was, then food. Something decidedly unhealthy sounded good right about then. Jell-O would be good…the sugar rush plus caffeine would get her through the briefing, no problem.

She looked up as she entered the room, jumping when she spotted a figure in the middle of the room with their back to her. She recognised that ass. Back. She meant back…

"Sir?"

Wasn't this supposed to be the women's locker room now? She could've sworn the sign outside had been swapped over.

He spun round. "Carter!"

His eyes ran over her and widened on seeing the towel she was carrying. "Ah geez…sorry, I didn't realise it was this late. I'll…uh…just give me a sec and I'll be out of your way."

"That's okay, sir." She said quickly, trying to hide her smirk. It wasn't often she got see her CO flustered. "No rush."

Her smirk grew to unhideable proportions when she realised he still had two perfect circles around his eyes.

He scowled. "It's not funny, Carter."

"Sorry, sir." She replied automatically, looking away to hide the growing grin which gave the lie to her words.

He shot her a sceptical look. "Yeah right, Carter. Sure y'are."

"I'm sorry, sir. It's just – " She waved her hand at him. "You look like a panda!"

Smirk. "Sir."

He pulled a face. "Gee thanks, Carter. Make a guy feel better, why don't'cha?"

"Have you tried washing it off?"

She closed her eyes at her own stupidity. Dumb question. Talk about setting herself up for a snarky remark…

"No Major, I've spend the last hour shaving."

Just like that one in fact. She held up her hands. "I only asked."

His shoulders slumped and he sagged down onto the bench, running his hand over his face and through his hair.

"Yeah, I know…damn stuff won't come off." He muttered, hanging his head. "Dunno what he used. Probably the Jaffa version of boot polish, or something…"

She studied him where he sat, head hanging down. He looked so dejected, she couldn't help but feel a small pang of sympathy for him. To be fair, he didn't deserve to have Teal'c's wrath taken out on him. This morning's joke was not his fault. Admittedly he'd been the initial one who wanted get revenge for being made to wander the SGC in his boxers, but the joke itself had been Daniel's idea and she was the one who'd made it work.

o0o

She dropped her towel on the bench and wandered over to her locker. Opening it up, she rummaged around until she found what she was searching for. Retrieving it, she walked back over to the bench and sat down next to him. He shot her a sideways look, as she lifted a leg and straddled the bench facing him.

"Turn round."

He frowned in puzzlement. "What?"

She waved a hand between them, indicating he mirror her sitting position. "Turn around."

"Why?"

'Oh for…'

"Please?"

He turned round, swinging a leg over the bench so he was sat astride it. He watched her carefully as she tore off a small piece of cotton wool and took the cap off the small bottle in front of her. The pungent smell drifted up to assault her nostrils as she placed the cotton wool over the bottle top and tipped it upside down.

Jack sniffed and wrinkled his nose. "Ugh! What is that?"

"Make-up remover."

"Smells like paint-stripper."

She chuckled. Wasn't so far from the truth! She used it to remove camouflage paint. Or days old mascara. The unpredictability of off-world missons could be a real bitch. She capped the bottle and placed it to one side. She lifted her hand towards his face and he pulled back.

"Uh…Carter?"

He suspiciously eyed the lotion-soaked cotton wool ball in her hand. "You sure it's not gonna take my skin off with it?"

"Absolutely, sir. I use it myself."

See? She could do patient.

"What the hell for?"

He was still frowning at the cotton wool, as if he couldn't imagine what use anyone could have for the stuff. Fine, so he was a man and had no use for it. But…he'd been married, hadn't he? Didn't he ever pay attention?

She shrugged. "Waterproof mascara, things like that."

He twitched an eyebrow. "Waterproof mascara, eh? Always wondered how you got it to stay on."

She blinked in shock. "You noticed?"

His lips twitched into a soft grin. "Sure I do, Carter."

Okay, so maybe he did occasionally pay attention. It was nice to know.

"That eye-paint Teal'c wears is a nice shade, don't'cha think?"

She couldn't help the peal of laughter that escaped. The thought of the Colonel complimenting Teal'c on his eyeshadow was just too damn funny. It was closely followed by an unbidden mental image of the Colonel in a skirt and pantyhose, applying makeup in front of a mirror.

'Ugh!'

She shuddered. Now that was not nice…she replaced it with the mental image of said Colonel in BDU pants and nothing else. Stripping down a P90. She smiled. Much better. She looked up to find the man in question looking at her expectantly.

'Wha-?'

Oh, he must want an answer.

"Yessir. It suits him."

The scary thing was that it really did.

He grinned. "Maybe you should compare tips."

She shook her head vigorously.

"No?"

"Noo! That would be just too…" she paused, trying to find a good word. She failed.

"…weird."

"Hey, you're not the one who walked in on him plucking his eyebrows!"

Oh great. Cue another mental image she soo didn't need. Sometimes she really did think too much.

o0o

Sam gently rubbed the skin around Jack's left eye with the cotton-wool. She'd finished cleaning his right. There were a still few faint streaks of black, but they should come off with a wash. Either way, it was still one heck of an improvement. Even if her fingertips were now stained black.

His eyelids trembled underneath her fingers and she smiled. It was almost mesmerising watching his skin appear from underneath the black covering. Plus the added bonus of having a legitimate reason to touch him like this…but she'd strung it out almost as long as she could. He was going to start fidgeting soon.

As if on cue, he raised his hand towards his eyes as if to touch and she absently knocked it away - not wanting her guilty pleasure interrupted just yet - before her actions registered. Surprisingly he didn't object, merely sighed and dropped his hand back into his lap. A few minutes later he raised his hand again.

She batted it away again. "Stop it!"

"My nose itches!"

Sam rolled her eyes, safe in the knowledge he couldn't see it, because his eyes were shut.

"I saw that."

She looked closely at him. His eyes were open ever so slightly in tiny slits.

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

Argh! Why did he have to be so damn annoying?

"Because if this drips into them, it'll sting." She explained patiently.

"Ow!"

Sigh. "Kind of like that."

He yanked his head out of her reach and rubbed his eye, smearing black all around it once more. She reached for his arm and tugged it down.

"Let me see."

She reached forward and cupped his face between her hands, tilting his head slightly to the side as she peered intently into his eyes. He tried to pull back out of her grasp, but she held his head firmly, bringing it forward again.

"It's a bit bloodshot – "

He tried to tug his head from her grasp again and she tightened her grip slightly.

"But I think you're alright - "

"Carter!" He barked hoarsely.

She froze. The position they were both in, the way it would look like to anyone wallking in the door, registered on her brain for the first time. His face cupped in her hands, her lips inches from his own, close enough to feel his breath whispering over her mouth. The skin under her hands seemed to burn her fingers, his five o'clock shadow lightly scraping her fingertips as he swallowed convulsively. Their eyes locked and her stomach flipped at the look he was giving her. It was her turn to swallow hard.

'Don't look, don't look…'

Despite her best efforts, her eyes dropped downwards to gaze at his lips. The quiet groan her actions wrenched from him broke the spell and she flushed and yanked her hands back.

Pushing herself away, she sat back down heavily on the bench, putting a safe distance between them once again. She scrabbled around for the bottle and poured some more lotion onto a new piece of cotton-wool, trying to marshal her scattered thoughts. She cleared her throat and babbled, trying to bluff her way through it.

'Please let it go, please let it go…'

"It looks okay. But you should rinse it out with water once we've finished."

To her relief, he let it go. And settled for glaring at her instead. "You did that on purpose."

Must. Not. Kill. Commanding. Officer. Bad for career.

"No, I didn't. Now close your eyes."

He ignored her and lifted his arm. She grabbed it again. "Don't rub it! You'll make it worse."

'Sheesh. You are not to think about how that sounds, Samantha!'

He scowled. "But it hurts!"

"God, you are such a baby!"

It slipped out before she could stop it, still off-balance from what had almost happened. His jaw dropped and he stared at her, dumbfounded.

'Oops.'

"Sir." She added belatedly.

He just looked at her. She lifted the cotton-wool again. "Um, can you close your eyes again, sir?"

He continued to stare at her.

"Please, sir?" She asked meekly.

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

She saw his hand lift up again out of the corner of her eye. "Don't even think about it."

His hand stopped. "But my nose still itches."

Great. Now he was whining. This was soo the last time she did him a favour. Next time she'd let him wander around looking like a giant panda.

o0o