Another Queen-based chapter! Has anyone else noticed how a young Brian May is actually quite cute? Or is that just me? I am a little crazy... anyway, thank you for the reviews of my last chapter, I think that's the most I've ever got for one chapter, so, thank you. Please keep it up! And listen to Queen! Don't discard the songs that they did after Freddie died either... Brian May and John Deacon have amazing voices when they are allowed to sing. Okay, end of my ramble, please read! (and review :p)
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In these days of cool reflection
You come to me and everything seems alright
In these days of cold affections
You sit by me and everything's fine
Her hand clasped in his, Chandler felt as if he could never let go. Watching her sleep, a feeling of peace touched him gently, and he held on to it tightly, not wanting it to slip away. He'd never felt so content. Monica was like an angel to him. She'd helped him out of the state of depression he'd found himself in, and she'd never stopped believing that he was worth saving, worth helping. Even when she'd been going through so much... so much more than he could even begin to understand or identify with.
He frowned suddenly, thinking of the man who had taken her childhood from her. She hadn't told him who it was, hadn't given him any clue, and he suspected that she was not the kind of person who wanted revenge. But how was it right? She had let slip that it was a family friend, someone who was still a family friend. It didn't make sense to him. How could she bear to be around him all the time? Maybe that was why she didn't spend a lot of time at home.
She was stirring. She'd been asleep for a couple of hours and it was already 9 o'clock. At least he had phoned her parents to tell them she would be late. How could they not realise that something dreadful had happened to their only daughter? Did they simply not care? Maybe they had tried to find out, and she had kept them out, driven them away. He suddenly felt quite honoured that she had confided in him, even though when she did tell him, she had been angry with him. Did he force her to tell him? Guilt washed over him suddenly, but he assured himself that if she really hadn't wanted to tell him, she wouldn't have done. Monica was strong. Things she wanted to keep quiet, she did, and he was sure that telling him her secret could only help her. He would get her through her struggle, somehow.
Her eyes opened suddenly. The first thing she saw was Chandler, holding onto her hand, his smile suddenly appearing as he saw her wake. She loved that smile. When he smiled, his whole face lit up, and she truly believed that he was, deep down, a wonderful person, someone who would be a great friend to her, hopefully for the rest of her life.
She didn't move, just stared up at him, suddenly feeling a force of attraction that she hadn't let herself feel for anyone since that day, over a year ago now. She hadn't let herself get too close to anyone, for fear that they would hurt her. She trusted that man, he was practically her friend too, and then he went and...no. Don't think about it, she told herself, and banished all of her thoughts of that cold night in the parking lot, as she smiled sweetly at Chandler, and slowly reached out, touching his face with her smooth hand.
Chandler was surprised. She'd never let herself get that close to him before. He couldn't deny he'd had feelings for her. Besides wanting to be there for her to get her through her troubles, he'd wanted to be there for her in other ways too. But, especially after what she had told him, he had told himself that nothing could ever happen that might destroy their friendship, and make her think he was only after one thing. Which he definitely wasn't. He loved Monica, more than he'd ever loved anyone, and he wanted to be for her whatever she needed him to be.
"Chandler," Monica whispered, her hand still slightly stroking his cheek, almost like a leaf in the wind. "Thank you."
Chandler looked surprised. "For what, Mon?" he said gently, touching her hand as it lay on his face.
She struggled to find the words. For what? For everything. For being there when she broke down, for letting her help him. He didn't seem to understand that she needed to know there was someone else out there with problems. And he'd been so great to her. He'd let her stay at his house when she needed to get out. He'd even let her sleep, and he hadn't questioned her about what she had told him. Not that she'd given him a lot of a chance, having fallen asleep straight away.
"For being there," she replied. "For being my friend. Aside from Rachel, I've never felt this away about anyone before."
His face fell. So she only thought of him as a friend. The hand on his cheek was a friendly hand. The clasp while she slept was a friendly clasp. Monica saw his face fall, and she knew what he was thinking. She had to reassure him, but she didn't know how. He had been right. She didn't want to let herself fall in love, grow too close, in case he used her too, but something inside her knew he would treat her properly, and she could feel a magnetic pull between the two of them.
"Chandler..." she tried, and his face looked hopeful suddenly. "I don't want to..."
He looked concerned. "You don't want to what?" he asked, confused.
"This. I don't... I can't help it, Chandler... Hell, I'm only 16. I shouldn't be thinking this sort of stuff. I am still a child... and you're 18... so much older..."
Chandler looked worried suddenly. "Mon, nothing has to happen that you don't want to... I'll always be here for you, however you want me to be..."
Monica put her head on one side, and drew her hand away. Chandler sighed, but his sigh was cut short when she said "I don't want to fall in love with you, Chandler."
Chandler looked at her questioningly. "But?" he asked.
Monica looked back at him, and smiled. "It seems I have no choice," she whispered, and, sitting up, she pulled him closer to her, letting her lips brush his gently. He put his arms round her, and they stood for a few minutes, wrapped in each others arms, each looking for comfort and finding it in each other. All worries, fears and terrors were cast aside, as the only thing they thought about for those few minutes was each other.
This could be heaven for everyone
This world could be fed, this world could be fun
This could be heaven for everyone
This world could be free, this world could be one
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In this world of cool deception
Just your smile can smooth my ride
These troubled days of cruel rejection
You come to me, soothe my troubled mind
The only sound coming from Ross's bedroom was the gentle cry of Rachel, as she sobbed into his shirt. All he could do was hold her, feeling nothing but sorrow for his friend, which, over the past couple of months, she had slowly become. She had never confided anything huge to him, but they had listened to each other and tried to help when Monica hadn't been around. Rachel had quietly thought to herself that Monica didn't seem to care much for Rachel's silly high-school-crap problems. But this wasn't some high-school-crap problem. This was much more important, much more sad, and now Rachel had no one to turn to except Ross.
"I never got to say goodbye," Rachel said, gulping, as she pulled away from Ross. "Amy and I had this enormous fight, about clothes... she wanted to borrow my skirt, or something, I barely remember now... and I was angry with her because she'd already broken my necklace a few days before... it was a really nice one that my grandad had bought for me so I was pretty annoyed... and I yelled at her, I told her I wished I didn't have sisters who would borrow my stuff.. and.. and... never return it in one piece..." Tears engulfed Rachel, and, weakly, she leant against Ross. "I'm so spoilt. I told her I wished she'd never been born, that I wished I was an only child... I told her if her and Jill hadn't been born, I would have had more money spent on me... and..."
"Rache, that was just some stupid sibling rivalry. I'm sure she didn't take it personally," Ross said soothingly. "Me and Monica argue all the time..." he trailed off, his heart aching for Monica. She hadn't argued with him for ages now. She didn't seem to have the effort. He missed his old sister. He wanted the feisty Monica back, who never let him win an argument... it felt as though his sister had died, too...
"And then the car... crash... and she... they said she had a strong chance of survival, but..." Rachel stopped, she couldn't carry on, and just cried into Ross' shirt again. He didn't know what to say to help, but he knew that just holding her would comfort her in some way, to show her that someone cared. Her parents didn't even notice when she had left the house. They were so distraught themselves, and Jill was with her friends, crying to them, Rachel expected. She didn't expect her parents to worry about her, knowing that they would be going through a lot themselves, without having to worry about their other daughters, but she had needed someone. She had hoped for Monica, but Ross had been a surprising comfort. She was starting to open up to him more, and, as she looked up at him, he gently kissed her forehead.
"Rache, I really don't know what to say or do to make the pain go away. It won't, but, you mustn't blame yourself," he stressed. "Siblings fall out all the time. I'm sure she knew that you loved her. And she loved you, Rache, despite the petty fights you had," he said, trying to make her smile. He only just succeeded, as he saw the tiny smile vanish, as more tears appeared, and she fell back on the bed, trying to make sense of what had happened.
"I've lost my sister, Ross," she whispered. "I'm never going to see her again. I'm never going to get to argue with her, never again. I can only talk to her in my mind, and what use is that? I can never hear her witty replies. Never hear her laugh. Never see her cry... when... when me or Jill has destroyed one of her favourite pieces of jewellery, or something..."
"Remember those times," Ross said, laying beside her, gently touching her hair. "Remember the fun you had, the tears, the tantrums, but remember the love too. You did love each other. And she knows that. I'm sure of it."
Rachel rested on her elbow, facing him. "You're so wise, Ross," she said quietly. "I never expected it of you. I always thought of you as Mon-"
"Monica's geeky older brother," Ross finished, nodding and grinning. "I can be wise, you know. But seriously, Rache... I will always listen to you, if you need someone. I like to think we're... friends... now?" he asked, looking hopeful.
Rachel nodded. "We are friends, Ross. Thank you.. for being there for me."
They stood, and Rachel hugged Ross tightly, as he stroked her hair, wistfully wondering if they would ever be more than "friends." Right now, he knew, she needed a friend. He needed a friend. Thank god they had found each other.
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Sappy? No! Well, I enjoyed writing this one. I love getting Mon&Chan together. And I'm not well-known for my Rachel&Ross stories but I'm trying! Now, please review. PLEASE!