Hmm, could have done without the death threats.. hehe... I'm sorry for stopping the chapter there! It seems to have had the desired effect though... you all want me to continue. Woot! I had to stop it somewhere, didn't I? Anyway, I will make this chapter longer, I promise. If I don't... sue me. It has to beat 1400 words to make it longer than the last chapter. Not that you will know if it has, but I promise I will. Probably this AN is longer than 1400 words. :p. Please keep reading! Not that you need much persuasion... And remember, Queen (and Brian May especially) are the ultimate Gods. Yes, Gods. And that god that is Brian May wrote "Who Wants To Live Forever," which means it is clearly not mine. Sorry to disappoint.
"What's going on?"
Chandler looked to Ross, not really sure what to say. But Ross appeared calm as he responded. "Monica's worried about school, Richard. She got a B in Home Ec. and she's worried that Mom will feel let down. You know how Mom gets," Ross said, lying smoothly.
Richard didn't believe him for a second. "Monica?" he asked cautiously. "Are you okay?"
Monica didn't move, and stayed laying face down on her bed, her head buried in the pillow. Richard breathed in sharply, and looked at Ross, who had gone a slight shade of pink. He didn't like lying, especially to Richard who he respected and admired, and quite liked. This gave Richard all the evidence he needed- Ross wasn't telling him the truth.
"Monica, will you please talk to me?" Richard asked gently. "I want to help you."
Monica made some kind of response, but the three men had no idea what she said. "Err... what did you say Mon?" Ross asked worriedly. He had to admit, he had been lying, and he knew that Richard knew that, but he had no idea why Monica was so distraught. Chandler had been about to tell him something-something which he sensed was very important-when they had heard a wail coming from Monica's bedroom. Chandler had rushed out of the door and across the hallway, and Ross had followed him, worried about his sister. When they went in, Monica was in the position she was now, and the only movement she had made was a slight nod when asked if she minded them staying with her. Ross knew it was serious. He guessed it was to do with what had been bothering her for the past year or so, but he had no idea what it was.
"I said, you can't help me," she whispered, turning herself round so she was laying on her back, staring at the ceiling. "No one can," she added, barely making a sound, but the men were listening intently and heard her.
"Monica," Chandler said softly, touching her hand. She didn't pull away, which surprised him, and he carried on. "We want to try and help you, if only you'll let us."
"I wanted to let you help me," she said, still staring at the ceiling. "But you didn't. You betrayed me, Chandler."
"I haven't betrayed you," Chandler responded, his finger grazing hers as he stroked it. "I haven't told anyone what you told me. And I won't. I promise. It's up to you who knows. But I really think you should tell your parents, or Ross, at least." He looked uncertainly at the man who he knew as Richard, or Dr. Burke. "Maybe even Richard. It might be easier to talk to him."
"I thought telling you was enough," she said, eventually pulling her hand away. "I thought you'd be able to help me forget. But you bring it all up again, don't you?"
Ross motioned to Ross that they should leave the room and let Chandler and Monica continue their discussion alone. Ross didn't look happy, but got up slowly and walked out of her bedroom, Richard following close behind.
Chandler looked up as the door closed. "Mon, they've gone," he whispered. "Monica... Please, believe me. I was never going to tell anyone. I was so angry, but I would never, ever tell anyone. You've got to believe me."
"I haven't got to do anything, Chandler," Monica said monotonously. "Least of all tell anybody. I shouldn't have told you."
"Yes, you should," Chandler insisted, grabbing her hand now. Again, she didn't pull away. "You had to tell someone. Admit it, Monica, since confiding in me you've felt happier."
Monica hesitated. "I... I guess..."
"And if you tell someone else, it will help more. Together we can help you, Monica. Look, I'm not going to insist that you tell your parents. But I think you should tell Ross. Maybe even Richard. If he knows that you don't want your parents to know, he won't tell them. He seems really trustworthy."
Monica smiled. "He is," she said quietly.
Chandler looked at her. "You seem like you speak from experience," he said, intrigued.
"I do," Monica said simply, but she didn't say anything else and Chandler didn't press it.
"Well, then," he said, making his point. "Don't you think it will help?"
Monica sat up. Her mascara had run as a consequence of her tears but to Chandler she still looked beautiful. He couldn't let someone destroy her life. He felt protective of her, which was understandable. He wanted her to let him help.
"I... I don't know," she said breathlessly. "I've survived so far..."
Chandler interrupted her with a snort. "Survived? Depends how you define it. Your body's always been here, but what about the real you, Monica? The real you disappeared that night, and has resurfaced infrequently, albeit more often recently. He ruined your life, Mon. You didn't survive. You existed."
Monica listened to Chandler, understanding what he meant. He was right. A part of her had died that night in the quiet parking lot. Her childhood. She lost her virginity, something she wanted to give to someone who she loved and trusted. Chandler. She felt sick and disgusted with herself. She had not even thought of sleeping with Chandler, even though she loved him and cared deeply about him, yet she had been raped by someone. Someone had taken the one thing she had so desperately wanted to give to Chandler... although she hadn't known it then.
"I...I..." Monica couldn't find the right words. Chandler looked at her quizzically, not knowing what she wanted to say.
"What's wrong, Mon?" he asked gently. The words that left her mouth left him speechless and amazed. He had never expected her to say them. Not then.
"I love you, Chandler," she said simply. "And... I'm sorry."
Chandler, still in shock, took her in his arms and kissed her tenderly. "Why are you sorry?" he asked, as he pulled away.
"For acting like I didn't think you cared about me. You do care about me, you want what's best for me... for sending you away, even though I know you're leaving... for London... soon..." Monica couldn't continue, as tears spilled down her face again. Chandler reached for a tissue and gently wiped her eyes.
"Hey, hey," he said softly, kissing her cheek. "I love you, Mon. It doesn't matter where I am in this world... or in any other world... I will always love you."
"But how will I cope without you here, all the time?" she asked, her sobs breaking up her speech. Chandler couldn't reply, and just hugged her tight, not wanting to let go.
There's no time for us,
There's no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us?
Monica broke away. "You're right," she said. "I have to tell someone. I want to. I mean.. when you're gone... I'll need someone to talk to... I want to tell Ross," she blurted out. Chandler nodded.
"I'll go and get him," he said. "I think it'll be better if I stay outside. You should talk to him on your own."
Monica nodded, agreeing. "Chandler?" she said, as he went to fetch her brother.
He turned back. "Yes?" he said.
"I love you," she said, smiling. "I always will do... you know..."
Chandler nodded, sadly. "I know," he said. "I will, too." He didn't need to explain further, as he left her room. Monica smiled, but it was a bitter-sweet smile. She had so much to lose, and she didn't know if she could cope with losing it.
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
There's no chance for us,
It's all decided for us,
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
Chandler stood silently, listening from outside. He heard the gasp from Ross, the cries from Monica, the promises from both of them. Richard stood beside him, knowing if he was much londer upstairs then they would send a search party for him from below.
"Chandler, I-"
The door opened, and Ross stood in the doorway. His face was like thunder, and Chandler was not surprised. "She wants to talk to us," he said, looking at Richard. "Is that ok?"
Richard nodded. "Tell her I'll just be a minute though," he said. "I've got to tell your mother I'm... ahh... fixing something," he said, and jogged down the stairs. Chandler looked at Ross, who looked as if he was close to tears. Before they went back into Monica's room, Ross grabbed at Chandler's shirt. Chandler thought that Ross was angry with him, but instead Ross had a look of gratitude on his face.
"Chandler... I'm so glad she found you..." Ross said, his lip quivering. "I've been such a terrible brother to her, and all this time... she was hiding that secret..."
Chandler hugged him. "It's okay, man," he said. "You didn't know." Chandler didn't really know what to say to Ross. He knew how mean Ross had been to Monica before, and he knew that if he was in Ross's shoes he would be so angry at himself. He reassured Ross a couple more times that he couldn't have known, and then they went into Monica's room.
-------
Richard couldn't believe it. His mouth opened and shut like a goldfish. Chandler had an urge to laugh, but supressed it, knowing it would be the worst thing to do. Monica seemed calmer suddenly. Ross and Chandler had both encouraged her to confide in an adult, someone who might know better what to do. Talking to Ross seemed to help Monica, as she seemed a little happier.
"Monica!" Richard exclaimed suddenly, and stood up from the chair he had been sitting on. "Mon... no, I... it's not..."
"Richard..."
"Who was it? A family friend, you say?" Richard asked, angry.
Monica looked at him, scared. "I can't tell you, Richard. I told you in trust. You can't tell anyone. I have to decide what to do myself," she said quietly.
Richard looked sad suddenly, and sat down by Monica. "Monica..." he said, tears in his eyes, as he stroked her hair. Worried that she might get the wrong idea, considering what she had been through, he hastily pulled away. Monica, sensing what he was thinking, only smiled at him.
"Richard, don't worry. I know you... I can trust you... You're like a father to me," she said sincerely. Richard smiled sadly. He'd felt like their guardian, and it broke his heart to know that the little girl he loved so much had had her childhood stolen from her. At 15... it disgusted him.
"Monica, your parents have to know..."
Chandler was surprised when she nodded. "I know," she admitted, turning to Chandler. "Chandler, you were right... they have to know. This can't carry on. What if he does it to someone else?"
Richard nodded. "He doesn't deserve to live," he growled. "If I could get my hands on him-"
"That's not what I want," Monica said gently. "He doesn't think I'll tell anyone. He thinks of me as the shy Monica I used to be. The one who wanted to sort out her own problems. But I'm not. I'm strong now, but I need help. But please, please don't rush me," she pleaded. Richard looked annoyed, but agreed. Chandler and Ross nodded.
"You have to tell them, though," Richard said. "I'm not going to force you... but they HAVE to know."
Monica nodded. "I know," she repeated. "And they will. Don't worry. Richard... you'd better go downstairs. Mom will wonder what's wrong."
"I'm going to have to go home," Richard said. "If it's one of those guys downstairs, I don't want to be in the same room as him right now. As you won't tell me, I think I'll.. take off... excuse myself..."
Monica nodded. "I understand," she said, kissing him as he leant over to kiss her cheek. "Thank you for being here, Richard."
He nodded, a tear rolling down his cheek. He turned to Chandler. "You're good for her, son," he said honestly. Chandler smiled at the compliment, and Ross nodded to Richard as he left the room.
-------
Monica lay in Chandler's arms. Neither of them were moving, except for Chandler stroking her arm. They often just lay together, happy to spend time together. A couple of hours had passed since Richard had left, and after an hour, Ross had left too, to do some homework. Monica promised that she would tell her parents. Now she just had to work up the courage.
"Do you parents know I'm still here?" Chandler asked her, as he looked at his watch. It was 10.30. He wasn't worried about getting home himself, but he worried that Judy might care.
"Yeah, they must do. They are surprisingly lax on boyfriends and stuff," she said. "They know I'm not... that kind of girl... they don't like to interfere, which is weird."
"What do you mean, "that kind of girl?" he asked, sitting up.
Monica looked at him. "They know I'm not going to do anything stupid," she said simply. Chandler, contented with the answer, laid back and Monica rested her head on his chest again.
"I can't believe you're going," she said quietly, feeling tears welling up again. "I'll never see you."
Chandler desperately wanted to contradict her, promise that they would always see each other, but he knew he couldn't promise that. He knew that it would be difficult, being so far away from each other. They even had an ocean inbetween them. He smiled, remembering that familiar song that he had used to laugh at. It was a favourite of his mothers.
"Oceans apart, day after day, and I slowly go insane," he crooned. Monica smiled to herself.
"You're singing?" she asked incredulously. "I've never heard you sing before."
Chandler smiled. "I hear your voice on the line, but it doesn't stop the pain," he continued, before belting into "Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here...waiting," he finished, adding a dramatic ending to it, trying to make it humourous, but it wasn't funny to Monica.
"Will you?" she asked seriously, turning round and staring into Chandler's eyes.
"I'll always wait for you, Monica," he said truthfully.
She nodded, gulping.
Who dares to love forever,
When love must die.
"Our love won't die, will it?" she asked.
Chandler sat up a little. "Of course not," he said, stroking her hair lovingly. "Let's just enjoy what we've got left... Monica, if it's meant to be, which I'm sure it is, then we will be together eventually."
Monica nodded again, amazed at how wise Chandler sounded. Just as she was settling down again, she felt herself jolt down, as Chandler had grabbed a pillow from behind her and, before she had time to move, was pummelling her with it.
"What the-" she began, but couldn't continue, as Chandler grinned evilly, and flipped her over. He lay by her side, stroking her cheek. She grinned. He was so sweet.
"You're not gonna win," she whispered, before sitting up and hitting him with another pillow. He laughed, and another pillow fight ensued, making both of them forget the pain that Monica was going though.
-----
At midnight, Monica watched from her window as Chandler left. He walked down the front path, stopping to turn and blow Monica a kiss. She waved her fingers at him, mouthing "I love you." He returned it, she smiled, and drew the curtains.
He couldn't leave, she thought sadly, as she looked at a photo of them. She wouldn't be able to live without him. It sounded dramatic but it was true in this case. He cheered her up. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't have got through the last year.
She climbed into bed, turning off her bedroom light, listening to her parents guests leaving the house. She frowned as she heard a voice she recognised, wishing her parents a good night. "Tell Monica I said goodnight," she heard him say. Disgusted, she turned over, and attempted to sleep, but thoughts of Chandler leaving her danced through her mind. She gave up, and went to sit at her desk, and tried to revise for upcoming exams. She didn't feel she could go on. She needed him. But she believed him.. they were meant to be together. Nothing could stop them. Eventually.
But touch my tears with your lips,
Touch my world with your fingertips,
And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today,
Who waits forever anyway?
-------
Well! If that wasn't long enough, I don't know what to do. Jeez, my fingers are killing me. I hope this wasn't such a cliffhanger. For those of you who love this story, don't worry, it's nowhere near over. I love this story too now. How do you feel about 50 chapters? Lol. Maybe not! Please read and review. xXx