The picture arrived two weeks after Scully's request, not preceded by a
phone call. She hadn't expected William to call her, but in her heart of
hearts, she'd hoped for him to. It did little good to tell herself not to
be disappointed, because she was.
The picture was of two smiling boys. One was immediately recognizable by his size as Mulder and Cat's oldest son- even though she'd only seen his baby picture- because he looked just like she'd always pictured Mulder looking as a small boy. The older boy was William. She couldn't believe how beautiful he was. The happy expression on his face told her that the things Mulder had told her in e-mails were true – he really was settling in, liked his new school, usually got along well with Mulder's other kids and seemed happy enough. For reasons she couldn't quite name, she was glad that Mulder hadn't put himself in the picture as well.
He was happy, he didn't need her, and that's what she always wanted for him since the day she gave him up. So why did seeing the evidence of it make her feel like weeping?
**
To Scully's surprise, sitting in the slightly noisy Italian restaurant with Ethan felt...comfortable. Thought she had eaten with Mulder in many places of questionable taste over their years as partners, they'd rarely really "gone to dinner." No matter what the stage of their relationship, eating was just something they did while on a case, and as quickly as possible.
On the other hand, she and Ethan had gone to dinner a lot before they'd out- grown each other. It had been that sort of relationship: dinner, movies, roses, romance. Until recently she'd forgotten how much she'd liked that sort of thing. It was nice to be reminded.
Throughout the dinner they talked about the paths their careers had taken. She told him about how she'd gotten to teach at Quantico like she'd always intended, back when she joined the FBI. And she told him that it wasn't nearly as exciting as fieldwork, but she didn't miss the danger and injury that had accompanied it. He told her about his struggle to gain a recognizable byline, and his utter joy at finally becoming a sports columnist ten years earlier. She personally found sports dull, but she didn't mention that, since it brought a sparkle to his eye when he talked about it. It made her think of coming home from her own classes at Quantico and finding him sleeping in front of the ball games, his notebook and pen still on his lap.
When at last the topic of work trivialities was exhausted, right in the middle of the main course, the conversation took a turn that Scully hadn't anticipated or wanted.
"You said that your ex has custody of your son. Why's that?" Ethan asked.
She didn't know what to say. "He's got a big house, a wife, five other kids...it just seemed like the best arrangement."
"To you, or to him?"
Scully shrugged helplessly.
"If he bulled you into agreeing to that-"
"Oh no. Mulder would never do anything like that." Scully surprised herself by leaping to his defense.
Ethan nodded, but still looked skeptical. "I'm just saying. If you ever decide that you'd like to try to get custody of him, I know some really good lawyers."
"I think he's happy where he is." Scully demurred. What she didn't say was that she highly doubted that any judge would give William to her, not after learning that she'd given him up in the first place.
After that Ethan seemed content to leave the subject alone, but all through the rest of the dinner she imagined what it would be like to at least see William. She wouldn't dream of taking him from Mulder, but seeing him was something she liked to play with the idea of.
The picture was of two smiling boys. One was immediately recognizable by his size as Mulder and Cat's oldest son- even though she'd only seen his baby picture- because he looked just like she'd always pictured Mulder looking as a small boy. The older boy was William. She couldn't believe how beautiful he was. The happy expression on his face told her that the things Mulder had told her in e-mails were true – he really was settling in, liked his new school, usually got along well with Mulder's other kids and seemed happy enough. For reasons she couldn't quite name, she was glad that Mulder hadn't put himself in the picture as well.
He was happy, he didn't need her, and that's what she always wanted for him since the day she gave him up. So why did seeing the evidence of it make her feel like weeping?
**
To Scully's surprise, sitting in the slightly noisy Italian restaurant with Ethan felt...comfortable. Thought she had eaten with Mulder in many places of questionable taste over their years as partners, they'd rarely really "gone to dinner." No matter what the stage of their relationship, eating was just something they did while on a case, and as quickly as possible.
On the other hand, she and Ethan had gone to dinner a lot before they'd out- grown each other. It had been that sort of relationship: dinner, movies, roses, romance. Until recently she'd forgotten how much she'd liked that sort of thing. It was nice to be reminded.
Throughout the dinner they talked about the paths their careers had taken. She told him about how she'd gotten to teach at Quantico like she'd always intended, back when she joined the FBI. And she told him that it wasn't nearly as exciting as fieldwork, but she didn't miss the danger and injury that had accompanied it. He told her about his struggle to gain a recognizable byline, and his utter joy at finally becoming a sports columnist ten years earlier. She personally found sports dull, but she didn't mention that, since it brought a sparkle to his eye when he talked about it. It made her think of coming home from her own classes at Quantico and finding him sleeping in front of the ball games, his notebook and pen still on his lap.
When at last the topic of work trivialities was exhausted, right in the middle of the main course, the conversation took a turn that Scully hadn't anticipated or wanted.
"You said that your ex has custody of your son. Why's that?" Ethan asked.
She didn't know what to say. "He's got a big house, a wife, five other kids...it just seemed like the best arrangement."
"To you, or to him?"
Scully shrugged helplessly.
"If he bulled you into agreeing to that-"
"Oh no. Mulder would never do anything like that." Scully surprised herself by leaping to his defense.
Ethan nodded, but still looked skeptical. "I'm just saying. If you ever decide that you'd like to try to get custody of him, I know some really good lawyers."
"I think he's happy where he is." Scully demurred. What she didn't say was that she highly doubted that any judge would give William to her, not after learning that she'd given him up in the first place.
After that Ethan seemed content to leave the subject alone, but all through the rest of the dinner she imagined what it would be like to at least see William. She wouldn't dream of taking him from Mulder, but seeing him was something she liked to play with the idea of.