Summary: Ordinary men make extraordinary heroes. Now Women, prove there
worth to King Arthur and his knights in the midst of a battle for their
homeland from the Roman Empire.
Disclaimer: I know what I wrote and I know what I got from the movie. Frankly, that's good enough for me.
------
Arien and Lancelot crouched three hours later under the trap door.
"What do you mean it leads to a watch tower?" Lancelot asked angrily, pointing at the door threateningly.
"I have an idea. But you have to rip off my hood." She said quietly, pulling his arm back down and looking at him with her eyes narrowed.
She turned around so her back was to him and he began tugging on the hood to rip its seams from her top.
"It will not come loose!" Lancelot hissed as he tugged a little harder.
"Harder! HARDER!" Arien snapped angrily, leaning forward a bit.
Above them, walking past the dirt covered trap door was a guard with keen hearing. He stopped and kneeled down to listen to who ever was below him.
"Oh! Come on! HARDER!"
"Any harder and it will rip right off! Do you want a hole?" Lancelot asked, getting hysterical.
"I do not give a damn about a hole! I NEED IT NOW! HARDER!"
"THERE! Goddamn! You make it so I can't enjoy anything!" Lancelot snapped in an aggravated tone as he threw the hood in her face when she turned back around.
The guard by now had his ear pressed against the old trap door, listening with his eyebrows raised.
Arien sighed as she dropped to her back and placed her feet on the trap door. She kicked up hard, unwittingly sending the guard into the air and over the north wall of his look out station.
They heard the screaming and stood up, looking around with only there torsos showing.
Arien tried to get all the way out when she noticed all the guards leaving their posts.
"What happened?" Lancelot asked, pushing with his legs to get out.
"I do not know, your immense body structure is preventing me from moving." Arien snapped angrily as she twisted around and pushed Lancelot to the side so she could get out.
Lancelot rolled his eyes, "So what was the hood for?" he asked curiously, brushing off the dirt from his shoulders.
"Well I figure with out the matching pants it's useless." Arien said sarcastically.
They walked in silence, looking for a way down into the castle.
"Look there." Lancelot said, pointing to another watchtower. "Isn't it likely if this station had a trap door, the others might to?"
Arien shrugged but walked forwards anyways.
"What happened to everyone?" she asked quietly, seeing another long empty walk way.
"I'd rather not be here when they get back to ask." Lancelot said, pushing her forward a little.
Sure enough there was another trap door, but they did not know what to expect upon opening it.
Arien pulled out her swords as Lancelot wrenched it up and open. Looking down they saw nothing but a wobbly old ladder and a torch on the wall.
Arien slid down first, having put her swords back in there sheaths. As soon as her feet hit the ground she pulled them back out and looked around. Still no one.
"I don't think this is very good." She whispered as Lancelot joined her.
"Maybe they were called to a service." He suggested quietly.
"What would they be doing that keeps them from there pots for so long?" she asked curiously.
"Sacrifice." Lancelot said, clearly joking.
"That's not funny." Arien said, turning around to glare at him.
She stopped suddenly, her eyes looking over his shoulder.
Lancelot turned as well, trying to spot her new distraction. "Uh oh." He said quietly, stepping out of her way.
"My bloody swords! You stole my swords! BASTARD!" Arien yelled angrily, forgetting they weren't supposed to be seen.
A man, walking past the hall they were currently occupying, turned to face them with a clearly confused expression. He looked down at his two new possessions and smiled an awful toothless grin that sent chills up Lancelot's back.
"Aye mum and now I'll take pleasure in killing you with them." He said thickly, now walking towards them.
Arien cracked her neck to the side, the sound echoing in the hall as she pointed one of her other swords at the hefty man now in front of them.
"Look......sir, she means you no harm. Well honestly, she does, and she will kill you......but drop the swords now and I swear to you I will hold her back for at least thirty seconds, to give you a head start." Lancelot said, shaking his head at the man with pity.
"A woman has no place challenging me!" he replied angrily, standing with his knees bent a little more then they should be as he sort of tilted backwards.
"Nor in your pants." Arien snapped, poking him hard in the upper chest with the tip of her sword.
The man spit on the ground in front of her, "How did you two wander into this here castle anyways?"
"Your mother was kind enough to let us in after my friend here did her a little favor last night." Arien said, smiling coyly at him.
"You leave my mother out of this!" he yelled, pointing her swords up into the air.
She kicked him in the jaw as hard as she could, watching his body fall to the ground, a massive heap of useless drunken waste.
She picked up her swords and wiped off the blades on the now dead mans cloak.
"Alright, now we can go." Arien said happily.
"You just had to bring me into that didn't you!" Lancelot sighed, "Bloody hell, do you even ever use those things?" he asked quietly, pushing the body against the wall with his feet.
Arien shrugged, "When I have to, usually it works out better I get to do a wee bit of stretching instead."
------
For the rest of the day they snuck around, creeping in the shadows, wasting time as they waited for nightfall when they needed to get Arthur into the castle.
"how are we supposed to get those guards to let the drawbridge down?" Lancelot asked quietly as they peered over the ledge of a small wall towards a group of fourteen men with heavy armor and swords.
"If I can distract them......can you do it on your own?" she asked, looking at him seriously.
Lancelot paused, then nodded uncertainly. "I can try."
Arien sighed, "That will have to do." With out another word she stood up and jumped over the wall, walking directly towards the guards.
Lancelot frowned, he wasn't sure what sort of distraction she was going to make for him. Then he scowled as he heard the whistling and spotted Arien pulling one of the younger guards down onto a chair and sliding onto his lap.
"She's lucky I'm not the jealous type." Lancelot said quietly, more to convince him self then anything.
Avoiding watching Arien as she shoved her tongue down that poor boys throat he walked with his head down, over to the drawbridge and examined it.
"Bloody drunks!" he said angrily, trying to ignore the whistling and laughter from the guards, now some twenty feet behind him.
He spotted a cranking wheel and began to push it downwards, eventually it caught on and turned its self, lowering the drawbridge at a miraculously quiet level. When it was all the way down, linking the main land with its thick wood, he looked back at Arien.
Now in the lap of a new man she was looking right at him, over the man shoulder. Her eyes were narrowed, as the man licked her neck.
It was hard to tell if she was actually enjoying it, but for his own sanity he decided that wasn't possible.
That was, until he saw a man standing behind her, groping her chest, and smiling. She winked at him and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
Running out onto the drawbridge he threw up over the edge just as Arthur, Tristan, and Artimus came into view.
"What happened?" Arthur asked, patting him on the back.
Lancelot tried to speak, but every time he did he just got sick again so he finally resorted to pointing towards Arien and the guards.
"She's always been good at that." Artimus said, crossing his arms, not quite smiling.
"At what......exactly?" Arthur asked curiously, watching her kissing one man while the others looked at her ass.
Artimus laughed, "She never likes people to say it, but she is absolutely beautiful. She could have any man she wants........." he trailed off and suddenly cleared his throat, "We should move out of sight."
Arthur and Tristan helped Lancelot steady him self as he led them back to the wall he had been hiding with Arien next to earlier.
They waited quietly, resting in the dewy grass. Arthur was still sitting up with Lancelot while the others took short naps.
"You are offended?" he asked quietly, watching Lancelot pull grass from the ground in boredom.
"Of course not. Artimus was right......she could have anyone in the world......" he looked up at Arthur with a total lack of emotion that surprised him, "I just hoped it would be me."
Before Arthur had a chance to correct him Arien jumped down in front of them, smiling.
"We should go." She said quietly, smiling coyly. Arthur nodded and kicked Artimus and Tristan awake, "What happened to Lancelot? I saw him on the drawbridge." She asked, looking at Arthur as they walked back down the trail towards the village.
"He saw you to." Arthur replied, looking at her with a disappointed expression.
Disclaimer: I know what I wrote and I know what I got from the movie. Frankly, that's good enough for me.
------
Arien and Lancelot crouched three hours later under the trap door.
"What do you mean it leads to a watch tower?" Lancelot asked angrily, pointing at the door threateningly.
"I have an idea. But you have to rip off my hood." She said quietly, pulling his arm back down and looking at him with her eyes narrowed.
She turned around so her back was to him and he began tugging on the hood to rip its seams from her top.
"It will not come loose!" Lancelot hissed as he tugged a little harder.
"Harder! HARDER!" Arien snapped angrily, leaning forward a bit.
Above them, walking past the dirt covered trap door was a guard with keen hearing. He stopped and kneeled down to listen to who ever was below him.
"Oh! Come on! HARDER!"
"Any harder and it will rip right off! Do you want a hole?" Lancelot asked, getting hysterical.
"I do not give a damn about a hole! I NEED IT NOW! HARDER!"
"THERE! Goddamn! You make it so I can't enjoy anything!" Lancelot snapped in an aggravated tone as he threw the hood in her face when she turned back around.
The guard by now had his ear pressed against the old trap door, listening with his eyebrows raised.
Arien sighed as she dropped to her back and placed her feet on the trap door. She kicked up hard, unwittingly sending the guard into the air and over the north wall of his look out station.
They heard the screaming and stood up, looking around with only there torsos showing.
Arien tried to get all the way out when she noticed all the guards leaving their posts.
"What happened?" Lancelot asked, pushing with his legs to get out.
"I do not know, your immense body structure is preventing me from moving." Arien snapped angrily as she twisted around and pushed Lancelot to the side so she could get out.
Lancelot rolled his eyes, "So what was the hood for?" he asked curiously, brushing off the dirt from his shoulders.
"Well I figure with out the matching pants it's useless." Arien said sarcastically.
They walked in silence, looking for a way down into the castle.
"Look there." Lancelot said, pointing to another watchtower. "Isn't it likely if this station had a trap door, the others might to?"
Arien shrugged but walked forwards anyways.
"What happened to everyone?" she asked quietly, seeing another long empty walk way.
"I'd rather not be here when they get back to ask." Lancelot said, pushing her forward a little.
Sure enough there was another trap door, but they did not know what to expect upon opening it.
Arien pulled out her swords as Lancelot wrenched it up and open. Looking down they saw nothing but a wobbly old ladder and a torch on the wall.
Arien slid down first, having put her swords back in there sheaths. As soon as her feet hit the ground she pulled them back out and looked around. Still no one.
"I don't think this is very good." She whispered as Lancelot joined her.
"Maybe they were called to a service." He suggested quietly.
"What would they be doing that keeps them from there pots for so long?" she asked curiously.
"Sacrifice." Lancelot said, clearly joking.
"That's not funny." Arien said, turning around to glare at him.
She stopped suddenly, her eyes looking over his shoulder.
Lancelot turned as well, trying to spot her new distraction. "Uh oh." He said quietly, stepping out of her way.
"My bloody swords! You stole my swords! BASTARD!" Arien yelled angrily, forgetting they weren't supposed to be seen.
A man, walking past the hall they were currently occupying, turned to face them with a clearly confused expression. He looked down at his two new possessions and smiled an awful toothless grin that sent chills up Lancelot's back.
"Aye mum and now I'll take pleasure in killing you with them." He said thickly, now walking towards them.
Arien cracked her neck to the side, the sound echoing in the hall as she pointed one of her other swords at the hefty man now in front of them.
"Look......sir, she means you no harm. Well honestly, she does, and she will kill you......but drop the swords now and I swear to you I will hold her back for at least thirty seconds, to give you a head start." Lancelot said, shaking his head at the man with pity.
"A woman has no place challenging me!" he replied angrily, standing with his knees bent a little more then they should be as he sort of tilted backwards.
"Nor in your pants." Arien snapped, poking him hard in the upper chest with the tip of her sword.
The man spit on the ground in front of her, "How did you two wander into this here castle anyways?"
"Your mother was kind enough to let us in after my friend here did her a little favor last night." Arien said, smiling coyly at him.
"You leave my mother out of this!" he yelled, pointing her swords up into the air.
She kicked him in the jaw as hard as she could, watching his body fall to the ground, a massive heap of useless drunken waste.
She picked up her swords and wiped off the blades on the now dead mans cloak.
"Alright, now we can go." Arien said happily.
"You just had to bring me into that didn't you!" Lancelot sighed, "Bloody hell, do you even ever use those things?" he asked quietly, pushing the body against the wall with his feet.
Arien shrugged, "When I have to, usually it works out better I get to do a wee bit of stretching instead."
------
For the rest of the day they snuck around, creeping in the shadows, wasting time as they waited for nightfall when they needed to get Arthur into the castle.
"how are we supposed to get those guards to let the drawbridge down?" Lancelot asked quietly as they peered over the ledge of a small wall towards a group of fourteen men with heavy armor and swords.
"If I can distract them......can you do it on your own?" she asked, looking at him seriously.
Lancelot paused, then nodded uncertainly. "I can try."
Arien sighed, "That will have to do." With out another word she stood up and jumped over the wall, walking directly towards the guards.
Lancelot frowned, he wasn't sure what sort of distraction she was going to make for him. Then he scowled as he heard the whistling and spotted Arien pulling one of the younger guards down onto a chair and sliding onto his lap.
"She's lucky I'm not the jealous type." Lancelot said quietly, more to convince him self then anything.
Avoiding watching Arien as she shoved her tongue down that poor boys throat he walked with his head down, over to the drawbridge and examined it.
"Bloody drunks!" he said angrily, trying to ignore the whistling and laughter from the guards, now some twenty feet behind him.
He spotted a cranking wheel and began to push it downwards, eventually it caught on and turned its self, lowering the drawbridge at a miraculously quiet level. When it was all the way down, linking the main land with its thick wood, he looked back at Arien.
Now in the lap of a new man she was looking right at him, over the man shoulder. Her eyes were narrowed, as the man licked her neck.
It was hard to tell if she was actually enjoying it, but for his own sanity he decided that wasn't possible.
That was, until he saw a man standing behind her, groping her chest, and smiling. She winked at him and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
Running out onto the drawbridge he threw up over the edge just as Arthur, Tristan, and Artimus came into view.
"What happened?" Arthur asked, patting him on the back.
Lancelot tried to speak, but every time he did he just got sick again so he finally resorted to pointing towards Arien and the guards.
"She's always been good at that." Artimus said, crossing his arms, not quite smiling.
"At what......exactly?" Arthur asked curiously, watching her kissing one man while the others looked at her ass.
Artimus laughed, "She never likes people to say it, but she is absolutely beautiful. She could have any man she wants........." he trailed off and suddenly cleared his throat, "We should move out of sight."
Arthur and Tristan helped Lancelot steady him self as he led them back to the wall he had been hiding with Arien next to earlier.
They waited quietly, resting in the dewy grass. Arthur was still sitting up with Lancelot while the others took short naps.
"You are offended?" he asked quietly, watching Lancelot pull grass from the ground in boredom.
"Of course not. Artimus was right......she could have anyone in the world......" he looked up at Arthur with a total lack of emotion that surprised him, "I just hoped it would be me."
Before Arthur had a chance to correct him Arien jumped down in front of them, smiling.
"We should go." She said quietly, smiling coyly. Arthur nodded and kicked Artimus and Tristan awake, "What happened to Lancelot? I saw him on the drawbridge." She asked, looking at Arthur as they walked back down the trail towards the village.
"He saw you to." Arthur replied, looking at her with a disappointed expression.