Georg walked into the library. Standing in the center of the room, he rubbed his face roughly with his hands. He was inexplicably agitated, and he drew in several breaths. Annoyance soon replaced the agitation; he had absolutely no idea why his nerves were so taut.
He frowned. Yes, he did know. The moment he had walked out into the garden with Elsa and had seen Klauss and Maria standing so closely together, he had felt his stomach tighten and his pulse start to flare. The sensation that had washed over him from last night returned, and Georg was perplexed as to why the sight of them together bothered him so much.
He walked over to the window and stood there for a long moment. He could clearly see the backyard where his children were running about, laughing with their governess as they played a simple game of catch. The Captain felt the corners of his mouth turn upward at the sight, relishing in how familial the scene was. He watched as Maria threw the ball clear over Friedrich's head, causing him to leap into the air. Georg laughed to himself as his son succeeded in catching the ball, but failed to land with grace or composure and fell to the ground. He saw Maria's hand fly to her mouth before she realized Friedrich was alright. Georg could practically hear her laughter through the glass, and his heart raced at the sound in his head.
He watched as the sun caught her hair, how her cheeks glowed, and how she positively sparkled. Even from a slight distance, the Captain could not take his eyes off her. Surprised, he wondered when he had started to find his children's governess so enchanting. He quickly shook his head.
Klauss is courting her, he said to himself. The Captain had no right to interfere with the object of another man's affection, even if he wanted to.
Georg frowned again. Did he want to? He turned and looked back in the direction of the ballroom, where the children and Maria had performed their puppet show. He chuckled to himself. He had enjoyed himself immensely as he watched the little show. They had all laughed continuously, and the moment had felt so perfect. It was an evening he had not wanted to end.
Despite his earlier resolve, his mind returned to Maria again. She was so young and sweet, and yet something more. She was full of life, full of love. Maria filled a room with radiance when she entered it.
Again, he looked out the window, finding his attention drawn to her, and he felt an urge stronger than anything he had felt in a long time sweep through him. He felt compelled to go outside and join them. He needed to stare into her eyes, to get lost in them, to find himself in them…
The Captain's heart stopped, nearly floored by the sudden wave of realization. He loved her. He was in love with his children's governess, with Maria. He looked quickly around, as if he was positive the revelation had somehow become written on his face and anyone who saw him would know.
She was more than the link to bringing him back to his children; she did more than bring music and life back into his home. Maria, with her innocent and unassuming disposition and wonderful love of life, was all he ever needed and had been searching for since Agathe's death. How could he have not seen it before?
As he registered the thought, the feeling, the fact, he felt a sense of peace come over him. The sight of her surrounded by his children felt right because it was right. She belonged with him, with his family. As he had realized the night before, she had become such an important and inherent part of the home that he couldn't comprehend life without her. He felt himself smiling.
The smile instantly evaporated. Klauss was courting her; he was more than courting her. The way they had danced the night before and the way they had embraced told Georg that things were serious between the two. Klauss was probably also in love with her, and she quite possibly felt the same way. Georg was too late.
The warmth he had felt a moment ago dissolved to despair. Just as he realized what Maria meant to him, there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't interfere with Klauss's attentions to her. Georg could never confuse or hurt Maria in any way, nor did he want to threaten his friendship with Klauss.
But that resolution left Georg feeling more alone and pathetic than he had in a long time.
He cast another, forlorn look out to the window, where the joviality failed to reach him this time. He saw Maria laugh aloud at something Kurt had said, and Georg felt a pang in his heart. Could he willingly step aside and never see that smile again?
The sound of footsteps brought him back to reality. He looked over to see Elsa enter the room, smiling at him. He felt the color drain from his face. He had completely forgotten about Elsa.
She walked over to him and followed his gaze out the window. Turning to study him, she commented, "You look as if you'd like to join them."
He smiled. "I just might, later today," he said. He scanned her up and down, noting her elegant dress and fashionable shoes. "Would you care to join us?"
She laughed. "That would be a sight, wouldn't it?"
He frowned. "I think it would be fun," he said seriously.
She stared at him for a moment. "The extent of my physical exertion is a walk along the lake," she said, equally serious.
They turned silent for a moment and looked out the window again. The ball had flown over Maria's head, and she had run off to claim it.
Elsa laughed. "Friedrich's got a better throwing arm than he thought!" she said, looking up at Georg. His gaze had followed the governess as she ran, a distant smile on his face. Elsa studied him for a moment, watching him as he watched Maria. Clearing her throat, she continued to stare at him until he turned to look at her.
Their eyes met, and he exhaled, knowing he had to be honest with her. He had to tell her that they didn't have a future together. He could never marry someone if he was in love with someone else. It would be dishonest to both of them and completely unfair to her if he couldn't give her the love and attention she deserved.
Even if he hadn't just discovered his feelings for Maria, the Captain knew that it wouldn't have worked out anyway. His reflections regarding her words the night before came flooding back to him, and he knew that he could never be happy with her, nor she with him. Their views were too different, their ideals too separated, their dreams too unmatched. It was unfair for him to even consider taking whatever their relationship was any further, as he knew that it would be futile. While he was uncertain as to what to do with his feelings for Maria, he knew he owed Elsa his complete honesty.
"Elsa, I –" he began, but the expression on her face silenced him. Her smile had faded into an unanimated yet almost sad stare.
"I'm going to ask Franz to book me a ticket on the first train leaving for Vienna tomorrow morning," she said in an equally unemotional voice.
His eyes widened. He started to take a step forward to her, but she put her hand on his arm to prevent him.
"This isn't going to work, Georg," she said quietly. When he remained silent, she smiled ironically. "We thought it would work, didn't we?"
"Elsa, I'm sorry," he began, but couldn't find the words to say to her.
"I think I realized it the day Klauss and Markus came over the first time," she said, more to herself than to him. "I saw the way you looked at me when we started to talk about what was happening in Germany. I've seen you look at others that way, but to have it directed at me..."
"I never once treated you unkindly, Elsa," he said.
She waived her hand and shook her head. "Of course you didn't. You never could," she said. Looking past him to the window, she sighed. "And you never once looked at me the way I just saw you…"
Her voice trailed and an uncomfortable silence fell upon the room. Knowing he had to say something, Georg cleared his throat.
"Elsa, you deserve more than I can give you," he said, knowing it sounded horribly cliché. She laughed. He cleared his throat again and looked into her eyes. "But you're right. We can't continue this. We don't believe in the same things. A relationship is complicated enough, and having very little common ground makes it all the more difficult."
Her bitter smile was replaced by one of compassion. "I hope you find your peace, Georg," she said, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. "I did enjoy every moment we shared together, and I do thank you for that."
"I'm sorry, Elsa," he whispered sincerely.
A faded color lit her cheeks, and Georg realized it was the first time she had blushed in front of him.
She inhaled slowly. Glancing up to met his gaze, she gave him an almost pleading look. "Please don't tell anyone I'm leaving. I just want to go quietly."
He nodded. "Is there anything I can—"
"No," she said. "I'll be fine."
Elsa stepped back and kept her gaze locked with his. "Take care, Georg. If you don't mind, I'd like to eat lunch alone. I'll see you at dinner."
She gave a quick smile and walked away from him, the clicks of her heels echoing in the empty foyer. Georg remained rooted to his spot, filled with an odd sensation. Part of him reeled that that had been too easy; another part of him felt horrible for obviously hurting a good person.
The sound of the children's laughter brought him back to the moment, and he turned to see them dashing through into the foyer, racing each other to the dining room. Behind them, a weary but breathlessly happy Maria walked past his field of vision. He frowned; he still didn't know what to do regarding Maria, or what the appropriate course of action was.
Deciding to not think about it at least for the duration of lunch, he exited the parlor and joined his family.
To be continued…