MISSING MOMENTS - PART 2 - BY: MOMI

Katrina had driven home in the dusk, trying hard to stifle the pain that was ripping through her. Once she had passed the gates of Glenbogle, she let go of the tears that had been threatening since she said goodbye to Archie. She wouldn't let herself think about this until she was home with a cup of tea.

At last she was ready, or was she really? She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and bury herself in the cocoon of sleep. That wasn't like her. She looked around the cottage. It was small but she had been happy here.

Before Archie came back to Glenbogle, she had thought she knew what she wanted and it wasn't a man to complicate things. She'd had that with Alan, but she had put that behind her and was ready to move on. She loved teaching and she was happy working close to home. She did owe Alan for getting her involved in the party. Growing up, she was lucky. She didn't suffer the hardship of most of the people in Glenbogle. Many of its young people just left for the cities looking for work and a better life. She wanted to make a difference, that's why she taught and why she involved herself in local politics.

She wasn't ready for Archie to enter her life. She had been trying to get people to realize that the Glenbogle Estate was an anachronism. Feudalism was dead and they deserved a better life than serving a bunch of selfish throwbacks to another era. She was committed to bringing them out of the middle ages and into the present. But it was like walking a tightrope, on one hand bringing work to the community, and on the other, making sure that the natural beauty of the area wasn't lost through progress.

Archie MacDonald. He represented a continuation of the old, everything she was fighting against. But he wasn't that way. Yes, he cared about his home and his family, but he also cared about the people. He really was trying in his own way, to bring change while maintaining a tradition. Still, she thought, the idea of lairdom had to go. Good grief, even in her mental ramblings she was on her soapbox. Get off it, girl, she told herself, you're avoiding the problem.

What did she want? She wanted Archie! He was the other half of her soul. She realized it almost immediately, even while thinking it was never going to work. But it did. Somehow, through all that had happened, they did come together. While she didn't like what he represented, she respected him and appreciated what he was trying to do. And he made her melt every time he looked at her. Oh they argued, but when all was said and done, he supported her as she tried to do for him, and it was fun making up. They were good together.

But she wasn't married to him yet, the thought insinuated itself into her head. They really hadn't talked about their future. Would things change? Would she become so wrapped up in Glenbogle and his plans that she wouldn't have time for her own needs? She wasn't Molly, happy to be Lady of Glenbogle, attending social functions and running a musty old castle. Would Archie's plans for Glenbogle be enough to keep her from boredom? What about children? Was she ready?

What would she be giving up? London, a chance to be a part of the action where changes were really made. To be able to use her knowledge of the area and her political lessons to further her vision for Glenbogle, that was what she'd be giving up. She couldn't believe she'd even got the offer. It was a dream come true - but then, so was Archie.

She knew he couldn't handle a long distance relationship, hardly seeing each other, long telephone calls. She didn't know if it would survive if they tried to give it a go. It was tough enough now, with her gone most of the week working as substitute where ever they sent her. She didn't really feel she was making any contributions to help Archie with the estate, although he thought she did. What do those Americans call it - a lose/lose situation. No matter what I do, she thought, I lose.

Maybe the best thing would be not to decide anything now. Just see what tomorrow brings. If Archie asks me to stay, I'll do it.

She rinsed out her cup and placed it in the sink. Enough, it's time for some rest.

To be continued...