The Missing Moments - Part Three The Final Curtain

Katrina heard Archie coming. Her palms were clammy and her heart was pounding. She just didn't know what to expect. Opening the door, she again felt the impact of their attraction. They stood there searching each other's face in the hope of answer.

Archie looked down at the basket he was carrying. "Lexie put together this dinner for us. I think it's edible," he said trying to lighten the mood a little.

"She couldn't do worse than me," Katrina responded with a smile. "Come in and I'll get a bottle of wine."

The tension in the room was thick. It was obvious that neither of them had an appetite for dinner, but going through the motions at least filled the awkward silence.

Over dinner they discussed their day, sticking to a safe subject. But each time they made eye contact, they realized the real reason for this evening was waiting around the corner. They shared the clean up duties while Archie told Katrina about Useless' latest adventure. It was a bittersweet time.

At last, they couldn't put it off any longer and sitting in front of the fire with their wine, Archie looked at Katrina. "Have you come to a decision about the job?" he asked. His hand shook a little as he put the glass down.

A few terminably long seconds passed before Katrina answered. "Do you want me to stay, Archie?"

"God, yes, Katrina," he responded quickly.

"Then I won't take the job," Katrina felt a jolt of joy go through her at his words. At the same time she could feel a twinge of doubt about doing this. She tried to squash this niggling feeling, but something must have shown on her face.

"No, Katrina," Archie said quietly. "I do want you to stay, but it has to be your decision. Choosing to stay because I want you to puts the decision in my hands. This isn't mine to make. This is your life and our lives that we are talking about."

"You know, I've done a lot of thinking about this. Most of it between yesterday and today, but some of it over the last few months." Archie looked at Katrina, "I know what it's like to make the choice. I had to decide whether or not to stay at Glenbogle. It wasn't a choice I wanted to make. I had a life in London. It was my life for five years and I was happy, I thought. But after coming back, I wasn't sure. When I finally made my choice, I hurt someone very, very dear to me. She tried to give up her life to be with me, but in the end, it hurt us both badly."

Katrina reached for Archie's hand. "Archie, I'm not Justine. I love this place. I want to make it a better place and I want to be here with you."

"I know, Katrina," Archie replied. "I think what I'm trying to say is, if you stay with me, will you later regret not taking this opportunity? This is my life, Katrina. Making Glenbogle a success is something I'm committed to seeing through. Let's be honest. We've been happy together these last few months. But we've still been living our separate lives - you with your teaching and politics, and me with Glenbogle. But if you stay, if you become my wife, will you be able to compromise your dreams and hopes? Will you be happy as the "Laird's Wife", not Katrina Finley, councilwoman or wonderful teacher? Will it be enough for you?"

Katrina's face twisted in anguish. She had asked herself the same questions. She just didn't know.

Archie continued, "Katrina, I love you, but I don't want to see you slowly come to regret the decision. And you're not going to be able to know the answer unless you take the position. I know how important politics are to you and I know, too, that this is an opportunity of a lifetime. You have so much to offer."

Katrina looked at Archie, "You sound so sure that if I stay with you, our relationship will suffer. Don't you think we're stronger than that? Yes, I'm not happy at the thought of being just the "Laird's wife." But I know that I'm more than that. I'll continue to teach and be a part of the community. There are other ways of fulfilling my dreams without losing you."

"And when your politics comes up against my visions for Glenbogle, what then?" Archie asked softly. "How will you feel having to make that choice? We've not even touched on children."

The silence was deafening. It was like they had entered a vacuum.

Katrina could feel a slow anger building inside of her. "I don't think I like what I'm hearing, Archie. You don't seem to have a lot of faith in us, in me. It seems that there is something here that I'm only now beginning to see. You don't trust me! You jumped to conclusions when you saw the fax from Mary and you are doing it again. Is this your way of saying you want out of this relationship?" she asked with a barely suppressed sarcasm.

"No Katrina." He was making a hash of this. "Maybe I'm saying I don't know if I can watch what we have deteriorate if you find being my wife will make you unhappy," Archie answered lamely.

"Well, you certainly sound sure that will be the outcome if I stay and we get married. If you feel that way, why are we even having this conversation? You seem to have some strong reservations about our future. I'm lost in your eyes, no matter which way I decide," she said.

Tears of anger and unhappiness filled Katrina eyes. Archie looked on the verge of crying himself. Nothing was going right, here. What did he want, a promise that she would never blame him for her unhappiness? Was there really another reason for his ambivalence? I'm happy with her now, he thought, but when I think of our lives in the future, why am I so worried that it will lead to unhappiness? No answer.

Katrina stood up. "I think, Archie, that I will take that job in London," her voice was cool and even now. "I'll let Mary know in the morning. This has certainly been an educating evening."

"Katrina," Archie said as he stood, "I'm sorry. This isn't turning out the way I hoped it would."

"No," replied Katrina, "but it certainly has opened up some serious problems for us. I think you'd better go, Archie."

"We haven't really finished," he said laconically.

"I think we have, Arch. Let's let it go at that. I'll be leaving for London as soon as I can clear things up here at the cottage."

"Katrina, please. Let's not leave it like this. I'll come over tomorrow..." his words were cut off by a wave of Katrina's hand.

"No, Archie. I've made my decision. Please leave now."

Archie picked up the basket on the table and walked to the door. He looked at Katrina standing in the middle of the room and wanted so much to walk over and hold her. She looked brittle enough to crumble to dust if he did that. He felt his heart breaking as the reality of the end of their relationship hit him. He turned without saying anything more and walked out of the cottage.

At the sound of the door closing, Katrina felt all the energy that was keeping her upright leave in a rush. She sagged into the chair, stunned at the way the evening had turned out. Then the tears came.

THE END