The next day Ranma couldn't be found for breakfast. Akane became furious due to this change in her routine, and the probability that she'd have still more questions to answer at school.

But when she got to her classroom, she found Ranma packing up the last of the camping equipment he used to make his breakfast. "Ranma! where were you this morning?"

"Right here. Everyone made such a fuss over my absense yesterday, I decided to put off my search and show up."

"Everybody was worried when they couldn't find you this morning!"

"The only one back there who might have worried about me is Kasumi. Everyone else there was worried that they might not be able to benefit from me."

At this point Miss Hinako walked in, and asked Ranma "Where were you yesterday?"

"Just trying to deal with some family business."

"I don't believe you. Go stand in the hall."

At this, Ranma starts laughing. Before Miss Hinako could get over her surprise at this unexpected response, Ranma explains "I didn't attend class yesterday, so as punishment you want me to miss class today? Punish me some more, and I'll have enough time for a holiday in Okinawa. That's just the sort of reaction I should have expected from a bully like you."

"How dare you call me a bully! I'm a teacher, you delinquent."

"Just because you have a position of authority doesn't mean you're not a bully. I judge you as a bully, and it's even worse seeing as you've attained a position of authority to protect your depredations against others."

"How dare you say that! Happo Go-en Sa..."

Ranma's pencil knocked the 5 yen coin from her fingers. "Typical first response of a bully is violence. Why don't you try convincing me that I'm in the wrong?"

"You already know you're wrong, you delinquent."

"And you knew it before you met me. That sounds like an amoral bias for a teacher. How did you first know I was a problem student?"

"I was brought here because of your fights!"

"And you never asked me about them. It seems you took the word of our principal, A man who'd be institutionalized if he weren't a rich aristocrat. You must have seen that in spite of his job, he really shouldn't be allowed anything more dangerous than a plastic spoon."

"We're not discussing the principal here, we're discussing you."

"No. We were discussing you. You took the word of a nutcase with a truely bizarre number of neuroses, and based on that, decided I was the enemy before you met me, and NEVER asked me for my reasons before trying to punish me. I guess I couldn't expect that the voluntary disciple of Happosai would turn out any better than an energy vampire addict, who doesn't care if she drains an innocent as long as she gets her fix."

"I drain you because you're always in the middle of every disturbance."

"That doesn't mean I'm guilty. The nail that sticks up is pounded down' is a statement of regretable human nature, not an excuse for an authority figure who should find out as much as they can before dealing out punishments. I no longer recognize your authority in dealing out punishment. You'll have to convince me before I do."

"You'll obey me or I'll drain you."

"The second refuge of the bully, threats. What would you do to someone you couldn't drain, who rapes a student, Miss Hinako?"

"I'd have him arrested."

"And if that didn't work?"

"Why anything I needed to do in order to punish him."

"So, do you think we should treat you that way for your draining us of our life force?"

"I only take battle aura."

"Until that fails. Then you bring out the 50 yen piece, and rip the life force from our bodies."

"It does no lasting damage."

"The physical damage from rape can be relatively minor, and heals quickly. Your only excuses can be either your assigned authority, the idea that we passively agree to it due to your position, or that you are doing it out of a moral imperative. I heave just denied accepting it due to your position, and you've never tried to understand the situation before draining someone. Don't pick up another ring until we settle this. What should I do to you as I can't drain you, or get you arrested, if you try to take my life force?"

"But you're a delinquent! Your parents send you here,and put you under my authority."

"Stop calling me derogatory things, it's beneath a teacher. I have no parents yet, and came here on my own volition."

"Even if you have lost your parents, then you are here as wards of the state."

"I never had parents. I have no passport,and I go from country to country without one. I have a tribe of violent maniacs that claim I'm a chinese citizen by marriage. I haven't accepted their country either, even though I've had to fight for my freedom. Japan claims I'm too young for any rights, but that they can bind me in marriage, and do nothing about the people who dayly proclaim they are trying to kill me, and often come close. Tell me again how you assume authority to punish me?"

"You're Japanese, you have to obey the law, and the laws make me your teacher."

"I'm Japanese by race and culture. I'm ronin, A member of a country of one. I claim diplomatic immunity."

"Very funny. You don't have immunity."

"You deny it? Then diplomacy has broken down. Are we at war? Even though I never signed the Geneva convention, I'll allow you to remove the civilians from the school before I destroy it."

"Cut that out. We're not at war. You can't claim the rights of a ronin since the Tokugawa era."

"I tell you my nonexistant ancestors were unaffected. You allow the principal's whelp to pretend nothing has changed."

"Leave the Kunos out of this, they have nothing to do with it."

"Of course they do. My first punishment at this school was for being late because I was attacked by him on school grounds for talking with my fiancee. By punishing me and not him, the school condoned it. You claim your authority over me from them, but the school lost it before you arrived."

"I'll tell your parents about this, and let them punish you then!"

"You'll have to wait until I find them first. Your only other two choices are the principal, and the police. The principal is a bad joke, and the police would have to acknowledge my accusation of your attempted rape, while I stood before them glowing with energy. That is if they take you seriously."

"Ranma, this is your last warning. Go stand in the hall!"

"Finally. the last refuge of the bully. The unsuported threat. You're wasting our time. Class started 5 minutes ago. Either teach me or let me leave and do something worthwhile."

"That's it, by my power as disciplinarian, you're suspended."

"Ah, the face saving gesture. Ordering me to do what I just threatened to do. Have a good day."

--------------------------------

Genma, in human form, and Soun were playing Shogi. Genma, apparently deep in thought, as unlikely as it is, suggests "Tendo, maybe we're taking the wrong approach with Ranma."

"What do you mean, Saotome?"

"Fate has driven my son temporarily around the bend. Instead of trying to deal with this, we should regard it as an opportunity to use in uniting our families."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of Akane being married to a deranged Ranma."

"I'm sure we can keep Akane safe. Remember, we can keep Ranma female as long as we like while we look for a cure to his madness. And if we can't find one, Akane could adopt or find someone else to supply her with a child. Then we could have Ranma committed, and raise our heir to the two schools ourself."

"It's better than waiting for him to recover from this new mess."

"And if we don't strike soon, one of the other girls might trick him through a ceremony first."

"You're right, Saotome. We must strike now, for Akane's future happiness, and the future of our schools."

--------------------------------

Ranma returns home to find Akane watching TV, and Genma and Soun playing Shogi. Upon entering, Soun and Genma charge Ranma demanding to know how he became suspended. Ranma ignores Genma until Genma grabs him by the arm. Ranma glares at Genma and says "This doesn't concern you." and throws Genma over his shoulder through the unfortunately closed door.

Ranma then turns to the shocked Soun and says "I was asked to leave by that six year old bully that Happosai trained. But that's not important. Let us go into the main room. We have things to discuss." Ranma then leads a stunned Soun into the living room, and seats him at the shogi board, and takes Genma's position.

When it looked like Soun was recovering, Renma announced "I think it's time we discussed the possible merging of our families."

At this point, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Genma appear in the room as if they teleported. Ranma turns on his father, and says "This is a private affair between the Saotomes and the Tendos. If you want to remain, you'll have to be a panda." and throws his father's drink in his face.

"Now. Mr. Tendo. You want to join our families together so that a child of both our lines may learn both of our schools. To this end you've decided to give me Akane. Even though neither of us are ready for such a change. You want us to go ahead immediately. Before we proceed, I have to make a final attempt to dissuade you, or at least convince you to wait. First I must tell you that I do not think I am ready to have a family of my own. Will you accept this as a reason to defer all of this?"

"No, son. I think you're old enough. You'll do just fine."

"I know you think so, and I thank you for your confidence. But I don't think I'm ready. Isn't that enough of a reason to defer this?"

"No son, I don't think so."

"All right, the next thing I must bring up is that your daughter is not ready for such a major upheaval. I ask you to defer this for her sake."

"She will do what I say to satisfy family honor." At this statement, Akane goes from angry to a slow boil.

"I'm not asking how dutiful she is. I'm asking you to consider her feelings in the matter. Will you defer for Akane's feelings?" Akane is understandably surprised at Ranma acting thoughtful of her, so she fails to explode when her father says "No, I will not defer."

"Finally, I must point out the fact that Akane and I argue alot. Until this is resolved I think it is wise that we defer."

"You will learn to love each other."

"Again that isn't the point. The future will take care of itself. I said we argue. shouldn't we defer."

"Again I must say no. I see no reason to defer."

"For clarification, Akane is the heir to the Tendo school of Anything Goes?"

"Yes, she is my chosen heir."

"In that case, In order to fulfil your wishes, and to satisfy family honor, I will adopt her."

There was a large face fault.

"Adopt?" Soun screamed.

Yes, the daughter of both our families will be both our heirs. I'll train her in my school, and this way honor is satisfied."

"But I wanted you two to marry."

"I can't marry now. My honor requires me to marry too many different people. It's stupid to think I'd marry for honor, when I'd loose it through marrying. No. Better we make Akane my daughter. After all, I won't make her marry against her will."

"But, but, but you're too young!"

"I know, But if you remember, you said that was no reason to defer."

"But Akane's too old to be adopted."

"Not really. She's young enough to be adopted as long as she's young enough to be forced into an engaged marriage, And your actions in forcing her so far are probably sufficient reason to get her removed from your care under the definitions of child abuse. I'm sure Nabiki could handle the paperwork for her step-sister."

--------------------------------

As Kasumi brings in the evening's dinner, Ranma comments "Another lovely meal. Kasumi, why don't you get a job as a professional chef?"

"I'm needed here."

"Nonsense. For the last ten years, I've cleaned up after myself, I'm sure your family can learn to do as well as I did at six."

"Someone has to do things like laundry and shopping."

"But no one is needed to play shogi. Surely if someone plays shogi regularly, they have time to do their part in helping the family."

Soun yells "I do my part by bringing in the money this family needs!"

"I wouldn't brag about that, as your middle daughter feels she doesn't get enough, and needs to extort money from your guests. You've misplaced your co-parent, why have you dumped your wife's chores on your daughter? Surely after having wasted your life doing Happosai's chores, you should be able to handle your own."

"You don't know what it's like, loosing your wife. You have no right to comment."

"So no one here has a right to comment? How convenient. I still say that Kasumi's life is being spent fixing other people's messes."

Nabiki comments "Alot of those messes are caused, or worsened by you, Ranma."

"I'm the prisoner of Akane and her father. The only person here who ever treated me as a person has been Kasumi. The responsibility for my messes devolves to my Jailors, not the decent Kasumi."

Akane yells "Jailor? I wish I'd never met you!"

Ranma answers "My mistake. My only jailor is your father. You're only the sadistic guard. Soun, may I leave for China?"

"Not until you marry my daughter."

"Voluntarily hand over the little freedom I have? Look at the examples of husbands I have in front of me. One man (and I use the term broadly) who left his wife for ten years, and one whose wife left him ten years ago. Would either of you consent to be rejoined with your wives?"

"There are times I've wanted to follow her, but I must look after my little girls."

"You have no little girls, just three daughters of marriageable age. Don't use them as an excuse for living off of Kasumi's effort. Kasumi, as the most decent person here, I beg you, please think a little about your own life. Even if your dreams are dead, look for new ones."

--------------------------------

The next morning Ranma wakes up slowly. Instead of the normally abrupt methods that Akane and Genma usually use, Ranma finds himself waking due to the uncomfotableness of his position, and the incessant talking going on. Ranma slowly realizes that he's wearing a tuxedo, with his arms bound to a broomstick running through both sleeves, which his father is using to hold him up. He fully awakens, just in time to hear "If anyone here knows of any impediment as to why these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold his peace."

"I'm afraid I do know of some impediments."

"Huh?" the priest responds to the interruption.

The parents are quick to brush this aside, "It's only a retorical question, like all the others in the service. Father, continue."

Ranma interrupts. "It's no good glossing over the facts. The bride is asleep, and judging from her black-rose corsage, drugged to the gills. The bride's father regards me as insane, and has never approved of my actions towards his daughter except for the time he mistakenly assumed I was trying to rape her. And the man holding me up has for years been pleased by the marriage he arranged for me when I was very young. A marriage which he approves, and which has not been annulled. So how could I marry again?"

The priest turns to Soun. "You told me that he was deaf and mute, and that was why he nodded to indicate his vows!"

Soun on the other hand was objecting to Ranma. "Don't pull that married to yourself bit again."

Ranma objects. "No, this is a marriage that my father prefers over even the Tendo relationship. He'd have your daughter be my second wife at best, or at least my mistress."

Soun's sudden attack on Genma with an unsheathed Katana, barely gave Kasumi enough time to catch her youngest sister, as Soun dropped Akane while trying to kill his best friend. The priest turns to Ranma and says. "You mean to tell me that you are already married?"

Ranma replies "Since a very early age, I've been married to Martial Arts. It has been my sole friend and comfort for years. I see no indication that I'll ever love anyone the same way."

--------------------------------

--------------------------------

Author's notes: Please, please, please review.

And please forgive Ranma's Language abilities.