A secretary enters a private office. Bakayaro-san, Nodoka Saotome is here to see you."
"Send her in."
Nodoka enters the office. "Diet-man Bakayaro-san, thank you for seeing me at such short notice."
"Nonsense, I'm always available to old friends. What can I do for you?"
"I'm being kept from seeing my son, by a bureaucrat in social services."
"Why that's scandalous! I'll get this straightened out if I have to get him fired. To come between mother and son, I can't believe it."
"Thank you, I knew you could help."
--------------------------------
Mr Yanagawa was talking on his office phone. "Yes sir. I understand sir."
"I'm afraid I'm unable to compromise on this, sir."
"I know this might hurt my career, sir. But I'm not allowed to let a parent visit a victim of child abuse without the child's consent."
"Yes sir. Anyone who would replace me would face criminal charges for complying with this."
"Yes sir, also it might be embarrassing if such a scandal were associated with you."
"Yes, the papers would blow it entirely out of proportion. Best you were clear of this."
"Yes, thankyou. I'm glad to be of help, diet-man Bakayaro.
--------------------------------
That evening, over dinner, Kasumi announces to the other Tendos and Genma "I've decided that Ranma is right. I have taken care of this family long enough. Daddy, you are going to have to take on more of the chores around the house."
Nabiki pipes up "Good going, Sis. It's about time you got to live your own life."
Kasumi continues as if Nabiki hadn't said anything. "I've received admission to a university to study civil engineering. It will mean that the budget will be tight for a while, but if both Nabiki and Akane take some time off before university like I did, and if daddy takes on some more classes, we should be able to afford it. Especially since Ranma is no longer around for Akane to use to make holes in the walls."
Soun sobs "But, we need you, Kasumi, to keep this family running."
Kasumi comments "Well, you could probably convince Nodoka to declare her husband legally dead as she hasn't seen him. Then you could marry her. She could keep house, and you'd have united the families."
--------------------------------
"Diet-man Bakayaro, Nodoka Saotome has called again. We've told her you are still on a fact-finding trip in Honshu."
"Very good."
--------------------------------
"Where, on Earth, am I now!"
Ranma walks up behind him. "You're in the land of broken dreams and shattered hopes. If this isn't a dream of yours, How did I get trapped in this prison? I'm not the Ranma you know."
"Ranma, What are you talking about?"
"When last you saw me, I hadn't been born. I travel through time, like a twig in a river. Welcome to my hell, come freely, and leave some of the happiness you bring."
"You expect me to believe you're a Ranma from another time? Time travel doesn't exist!"
"It's as true as our multiple curses. Would you trade curses for mine if you could?"
"Of course! To be human instead of a pig? In a heartbeat!"
"Not just that curse. All the ones we have."
"What curses are you talking about?"
"Surely you don't feel that you're living the life you deserve? You're multiply cursed, like I am. and of all of them, you only earned the least of them."
"How dare you say I deserve my Jhusenkyo curse!"
"You don't deserve that! Whatever could you have done that's so bad that you deserve that? You're a good man, aren't you?"
"You admit I'm a good man?"
"Sure! You have faults like all humans, but you want to get better. Don't you feel guilty when you realize you've done something bad? When you realized you cut Akane's hair, you immediately apologized, even though you obviously didn't mean to."
"Of course!"
"On the other extreme is Mousse, who put Akane in an aquarium under gallons of water from spring of drowned duck."
"He did that? I'll kill him!"
"It was a long time ago. Save your energy for more recent attrocities. If you try to punish every wrong done, you sin against God, for judgement belongs to him. When you seek revenge, first dig 2 graves. One for your victim, and one for you."
"Don't preach to me about revenge. You know nothing about it."
"You're wrong. I'm wreaking the most devistating revenge on several people. I found a harsher judge than Kami-sama. And none but the insane can escape their punishments."
"What are you talking about?"
"You've missed the last few days here. I haven't hurt anyone, I just kill dreams, leaving no wounds on flesh. I've already managed to remove one of my curses that way, appeasing the curse through the mass sacrifice of dreams."
"You know a cure to the curse? Tell me!"
"I still turn into a girl. The curse I lost is one you don't have."
"What curse did you get rid of?"
"It's best known by the name Genma."
"You've killed your father?"
"Of course not. Several others are still suffering him, but I'm free. Before I forget, when you get to the Tendos, the Emperor's lawyer wants to see you. Don't ask me why, I can't speak for the Emperor."
"What Emperor?"
"Our Emperor. The Emperor of Japan. Don't keep him waiting."
"Which way to the Tendos?"
"That way, see you."
--------------------------------
"Genma, what are we going to do? All of our plans are being torn apart. Ranma's gone. Kasumi's leaving. Akane has offered to take over the chores of cooking. The center can not hold! I always thought Nabiki would be the first one to leave the nest. Now I think she's planning to leave home for good to avoid Akane's cooking, and to get a scholarship based on financial hardship."
"This is horrible! We might have to eat her cooking."
"Genma! My family is falling apart because of your son, and all you're worried about is food?"
A knock is heard at the door. Soun and Genma can barely hear Kasumi inviting someone in. Soun calls out "Kasumi, who is it?"
"It's Nodoka Saotome." A loud splash is heard. Nodoka enters to find Soun sitting alone at a shogi board, and a large panda sitting in the koi pond.
Nodoka approaches Soun. She kneels down before Soun, with her wrapped Katana sitting on her lap in front of her. In a strong, clear, and quiet voice she asks "Where is my husband?"
"He just left on a training trip."
"I'm not in the mood. You're telling me that my husband left on a training trip just after trying to declare my son insane, after what I'm told was a ten year period of abuse? Strange how he's always gone when I show up, but government officials have had no trouble finding him, isn't it?"
"Heh, heh. An amazing coincidence, isn't it?"
"You know I've been seeking him, yet you never manage to get us together at the same time. But somehow, the people of this neighborhood say that the two of you spend almost all of your time together. Strange, isn't it?"
"Well, you see ..."
"No more lies, Soun. I don't care why you're hiding him from me. Deliver my husband to me within a week, or there is blood feud between our families. I know you wish to unite our families, but I swear on the Saotome honor, that if you don't deliver him, the Saotomes will rededicate their lives to exterminating the Tendo family. Thank you for your time."
--------------------------------
That evening, at dinner, Soun and Genma were awfully quiet. Finally Nabiki asked Kasumi what happened that day.
"Ranma's mother came to visit."
Soun bursts into tears.
"And that's why they were so quiet?"
"No, I think it was her threat of blood feud between our families."
"What!"
"No, wait, I got that wrong."
"Thank goodness sister, you nearly gave me a heart attack."
"It wasn't a threat. She said that bloodfeud existed if we don't turn Genma over to her within a week. Her threat was to wipe out the Tendo Clan."
Genma tried to calm things down. "She didn't mean it."
Kasumi clarified "She swore on the Saotome honor, and claimed it was a more pressing obligation than uniting our two families."
Akane shouted "Well, what are we going to do?"
Kasumi responds "Well, there's so many choices, I haven't decided how to handle it."
"Like what?"
"Well, if worst comes to pass, in six days, I'll be on another family's ledger."
"There's gotta be a better solution."
"Oh, yes. But if we can't agree on a course of action, or if Father insists on opposing Mrs. Saotome, I'd rather not be hunted by her, and by extension, Ranma."
"You don't think he would?"
Nabiki interrupted "He never broke off his engagement with Akane because of family honor. It hardly matters. All she has to do is promise that she'll support the marriage of Ranma to whoever delivers her husband, and the most Tendo skulls, and we'll have a dozen Amazons here. In a best case scenario, one of them becomes our mother. There are five choices open to us. First. we leave the Tendo family, and let it end here. Second through fourth. We ally ourselves with one of the Saotomes agaist all the others. Either we protect Genma and fight, or we turn him over to Mrs. Saotome, or we back Ranma."
Akane asks "What's the fifth choice?"
Nabiki answers "Well, if Daddy insists on protecting the panda, we could give Mrs Saotome either of the fathers, and declare Kasumi clan head."
Kasumi answers "That was about what I figured. If Genma runs, our only choice is to seperate ourselves from father. Thats why I added to Genma's food enough animal sedatives to down an angry elephant. After the third panda incident, the local zoo commissioner and I became pretty good friends."
Genma is, of course asleep at this point. But the fact that Kasumi drugged him was enough to snap Soun out of his crying festival. Nabiki looks at him coldly, and says "Well, daddy, in what direction will the Tendo Clan proceed in? Are you going to put us at risk? Or Genma? Or are you going to try to have it both ways?"
Soun looks around, fully shocked. "Um, can I have it both ways?"
"Then daddy, the women of the family will have to decide on what to do."
--------------------------------
The three girls are sitting in the guest room. Genma is still asleep, and tied up on the floor. Kasumi and Akane are sitting on Ranma's fouton, while Nabiki took the seat of highest prominence. She sat on Genma.
Nabiki starts off the discussion "Let's make one thing perfectly clear. We are not going to defend Genma from his wife. Right? So our options are limited. Leave the family. Turn both fathers over to Nodoka, and hope she returns daddy. Force daddy aside as head of the household and give Genma over, or turn the Saotome's against themselves by siding with Ranma."
"We don't need that pervert."
"All other options involve either fighting daddy, or fighting Mrs. Saotome."
--------------------------------
"The next morning finds all of the Tendo's and all of the adult Saotomes in the dojo. Soun sits between Genma and Nodoka, while they face the three daughters. Kasumi as the eldest, speaks first "The Saotome's and the Tendo's have long been allies. Your domestic dispute has dragged our family into it. We have decided that the Tendo family must maintain peace with the Saotome family, or both will be destroyed. Therefor we side with the de facto head of the Saotomes. We will treat you three as Ranma bids."
Nabiki adds "That means all three of you are no longer welcome here until the Saotomes speak with one voice. Only Ranma is welcome. Get out"
Soun and Nodoka both scream "What?" while Genma makes a break for it.
--------------------------------
As Soun and Nodoka leave the dojo (Genma has long since disappeared) Soun turns to Nodoka and says "I know this is awfully awkward, but would you be able to put me up for a few days?"
Nodoka looks at him and says "Only if you'll answer my questions about what the hell is going on."
"On second thought, I don't want to put you out. I'll impose on someone else."
"I'm not giving you a choice. Come with me."
"Ulp."
--------------------------------
Nodoka informally serves Soun a cup of tea at the Saotome home. "Now then what's going on?"
"I don't know where to begin."
"How did you hide my husband each time I arrived. Are you having me watched so that he had warning?"
"Oh no. Your visits were always a complete surprise. Do you believe in old myths of Chinese magic from the wilds of China?"
"What has that got to do with it?"
"Too many of those myths are true, and Genma and Ranma dragged them back here. Genma is under a curse which he uses to his advantage. Whenever he gets wet, he turns into a panda."
"You're joking. I'm not in the mood."
"I can take you to a Chinese restaurant where two other people have similar curses. If only that were the whole story."
"What else?"
"Genma was hiding Ranma from you because he was afraid you'd make him commit sappuku if you weren't satisfied with him. Genma and I think it was when Genma told him about the threat of death, and that you were not dead, coupled with the multiple fiancees, that finally caused Ranma to snap."
"Is Ranma having trouble deciding which of your daughter to marry? Everyone always acted like he had chosen Akane."
"Er, it isn't multiple Tendos that he's engaged to."
"He hasn't gotten someone pregnant, has he?"
"No, he doesn't get much chance to kiss a girl, much less anything else. The Tendo engagement is of course the most important one, but Genma has arranged additional fiancees for him, not counting the women who are chasing him for other reasons."
"If Ranma is so manly, why was Genma afraid of the Seppuku pledge?"
"Well, er... Ranma hasn't committed to any of them, although he likes Akane the most. Not making a decision could be considered childish, right?"
"If he has that much attention from women, I think it very manly, that he enjoy it until he makes a decision."
"Well, Genma wanted to have that resolved before meeting you."
"I can begin to understand that, and I'm not going to take my anger of him out at you. But what did he do to get the doctors to classify Ranma as an abused child?"
"Ahhh, this might take some time to explain."
--------------------------------
Ranma's doctor visits him, delivering his mail. "You have a short note from your mother."
Ranma reads it to the doctor. "Come home. We'll handle Genma's mistakes ourselves. Let's not air our dirty laundry in public."
The doctor replies, "Unfortunately a typical request from a third family member in an abusive situation. The desire to see everyone compromise and form a happy family. Unfortunately it always leads back into more abuse. I've never seen a compromise really work, unless the abusor is actively seeking councelling too. But if you want to hide the situation from outside eyes, the abusor rarely gets the help needed. I can send her some pamphlets explaining this to her."
"OK doc, but I've gotta word a response that doesn't reveal my sanity."
"I really think you might be taking this insanity ploy a bit far."
"That place is a madhouse. I don't want to give up anything that I might need later. How does this sound? Whomever you are, I will decide what is best for my family, after I determine who my family is.' What do you think?"
"I don't know. You're leaving it ambiguous whether you mean you are forming a new family due to your madness, or if you do not believe who she is yet."
"Hey. That works. That wasn't my plan, but any ambiguity will keep them guessing, and that will either keep them from acting, or more likely, act in the wrong direction. That will be my reply."
"You also have a letter from the Tendos. It was forwarded here from Mr. Yanagawa."
"This I didn't expect. A formal declaration. The Tendos will support any decision Ranma Saotome makes concerning Genma Saotome, and Nodoka Saotome in spite of the devisiveness his actions have brought to the Tendo Clan.' Signed by Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi as head of the clan. I've got allies now, even if only Kasumi trusts me. I wonder how they handled their father.'
--------------------------------
Nabiki comes home. "Tadaima, Kasumi. Everything went allright at the bank. As head of the household, and as Matriarch, you now hold the family's pursestrings. Daddy has been removed as a signitory. I have power to sign for funds in an emergency, and you have power to sign for funds from my account the same way. The utilities will all be adressed to you next month, and daddy's mail is being routed to the Saotome's home."
"Is all of this really necessary?"
"Probably not. But without it, Daddy could walk back whenever he gets the nerve and pretend nothing has happened. If we couldn't stop him, no one will believe we are serious. Damn Ranma for forcing this situation."
"Perhaps it's time I paid a call on Ranma."
"You wont get in. All Saotomes and Tendos are barred admittance."
"Even if I don't see him, I should still make the attempt."
--------------------------------
Kasumi enters the hospital, carrying a wrapped plate of cookies. The receptionist asks, "Can I help you?"
"My name is Kasumi Tendo. I'd like to visit Ranma Saotome, but my family is on the list to deny admittance. Could you ask if I might see him?"
"Let me call his doctor, and have him ask. Please have a seat."
--------------------------------
A few minutes later, the receptionist approaches her. "Misses Tendo? The doctor would like to know in what capacity you are visiting."
"Oh my. So many things have changed at home lately. But I really only came as a friend, and to let him know what's been going on in his absence."
"In that case, he'll be waiting for you in visitor's room number eleven."
--------------------------------
"So, how are things going at home?"
"Well, Akane's in shock over helping us evict father, and Nabiki is furious."
"Nabiki's just mad at herself. She thought she knew how everyone would behave. I was the dumb jock, and she was the clever one. When I stopped behaving the way I always had, she started loosing choices she thought she'd always have. She feels like I've outsmarted her, because she can't do what she wants. So until she puts one over on me and proves she's smarter, she's going to act like her panties were bunched up."
"Have you outsmarted her?"
"Naw, I just stopped protecting her. She relied on me, but wouldn't admit it to herself. Now she's gotta solve her own problems, or ask for help, and she can't stand that."
"So, you think it's pride, and self deception that's causing her to act this way?"
"Yeah, that's most of it. Have you ever visited another country without being on a packaged class trip?"
"No, I haven't"
"You should when you get the chance. You've heard of culture shock'? Its when things you never thought about, or expected to change, suddenly do, and the automatic reactions that we use can't work right. The worst is when it is totally innocent. Like when you go to the toilet in a Muslim country, and find out at the last minute that there is no toiletpaper dispenser. Nabiki's going through that now. She assumed I'd be there to pound my old man, and when I wasn't she flipped."
"It has been a hectic week. I've decided to go to University next year. It means Nabiki will probably have to wait a few years before we can afford to send her and Akane to University, but we should be able to manage it."
"Have you decided what you want to study, yet?"
"I was thinking of civil engineering, The building of bridges and powerplants and things."
"When I suggested that you should have something at the end of the day to point at, and feel pride in, I never imagined, you'd be changing the Japanese skyline."
--------------------------------
Akane was making use of Kasumi's absense to cook dinner for Kasumi and Nabiki, when Shampoo burst into the kitchen. "Where'd you hide my husband?"
"I don't know or care where that idiot is! And he's not your husband! He no longer lives here anymore!"
"Did Violent Girl throw another tantrum so that her father would kick Ranma out?"
"Daddy no longer lives here either. Because of Ranma and his parents, we've thrown him out!"
"Foriener girls threw out the men and are now running house without men? First time you do really smart thing. Who is head of your clan?"
"Kasumi is."
"It's good to make the healer a leader in time of peace. A healer in peaceful times so the tribe may grow, A warrior in violent times so the tribe doesn't shrink.' See you."
--------------------------------
Shampoo drops down in front of Nabiki. "Where's my husband!"
"Shampoo, you know I don't give out such information for free."
"I offer you vital information in exchange then. On your honor, you give me a fair exchange for my secret?"
"Of course. Assuming I didn't know it already."
"Akane is cooking your dinner."
Nabiki blanched, and proceeded to relate everything she could think of concerning Ranma, his parents, and her father, and made reservations for dinner that night at the Nekohanten.
--------------------------------
"Great-grandmother. I can't find Ranma, but I have alot of information. More than I know how to deal with."
"Well, child. Tell me what we have learned."
Shampoo relates all that had happened. Afterwards "Cologne frowns at Shampoo. "Child. As an elder, I should tell you to abandon Ranma, but as your grandmother, I don't want to do that. I can give you a couple of days, but you must tell me before trying anything that might anger Ranma. If you don't know how to definitely get Ranma as a husband voluntarily, I'll have to order you to stop."
"But why?"
"Ranma has made continuing our pursuit much more dangerous, and he has simultaneously given us a face-saving excuse. Tell me, Shampoo, what he could do if we brought him into the tribe against his will?"
"If he ran away, we'd chase him!"
"This information doesn't go beyond this room. What I'm about to tell you, I will never have mentioned. I tell you this because I care for you, and don't want to forbid you without you knowing the full reason why. He's threatened to end the amazons if we remove his freedom of choice. He could do it easily."
"Even Ranma's not good enough to kill the amazons!"
"When a thermonuclear bomb can fit in a suitcase, or a package, he's strong enough. Shampoo, what would be the results if warriors were found in borderline Musk territory, killed using Herb's method of combat? Is there anyone besides an elder who could survive, if we pushed him to the point where he could kill? Ranma's too good to kill the Amazons. If he doesn't come voluntarily, he could be a poison pill when we swallow him. Ranma is now under the protection of the Japanese state. Trying anything overt will have far reaching repercussions, including war with Beijing.
"We may be a warrior tribe, but we can be defeated from without. We have survived by making the price of that victory too expensive to contemplate. Ranma has just done the same thing. We can get him at any time, but our losses will be unacceptable."
"But I can't go home without Ranma!"
"You can't go home with Ranma, unless he agrees. And unless he agrees to eventually capitulate, as an Amazon elder, it is my duty to use the excuse that he's now under the protection of the Japanese government, and out of our reach. It is a face-saving gesture."
"But what will happen to me if I don't bring him."
"Child, I'll do everything I can to protect you, but it will be the council's decision. I can give you a couple of days, but then I'll have to order you home."
--------------------------------
A somewhat subdued Shampoo enters the office and sits down. "Mr. Yanagawa, I'm told I need to get your approval to see Ranma."
"That's not completely true. If you disagree with my opinion, you may always see Ranma's doctor. As of yet, Ranma hasn't told us whether to permit or refuse you entrance, so it falls to me to make the decision, Unless you would be willing to write to Ranma."
"No. I must speak to him in person. It's very important. It may affect my life for years to come."
"Well, Ranma has told me a bit about you. So what do you want to talk to Ranma about?"
"Ranma spoke about me? What did he say?"
"He told me you came from a matriarchy, hidden in China. That when it came to fighting, or honor, you had to be treated as one would a Japanese male of great skill. Inspite this, there was nothing masculine about you. He said you certainly weren't an uncute tomboy.' He told me what he knew of your laws, and said you could be a good friend, or a deadly enemy, unfortunately sometimes on the same day. He also mentioned that I couldn't find any guards adequate to protect me from you, but that I wouldn't need them as long as I don't challenge you, and the old ghoul' doesn't explicitly want me killed.
"In other words, you are to be respected, but not feared."
"Hmmph. Amazons should always be feared. But he's right. I only fight those that need fighting. I have a problem. All the rules I've known have been changed. My only choices are to go home in disgrace, or beg Ranma. And Amazons never beg! Great-grandmother can't help me. No one else wants to help me. I need Ranma to give me advice."
"This is an important question. I think it's one that Ranma uses to decide who should visit, and who shouldn't. In what role do you want to interact with Ranma? Is he your husband? Your Airen?"
"Yes he is. But I really want to see him because there's no one else who can help me, and no one else would understand or care!"
"I'll see what I can do."
--------------------------------
"Shampoo? Ranma has said that he's no one's husband, but if you need help, he'll see you."
--------------------------------
"Hi, Shampoo. What's up?"
"You and Great grandmother are the only people I can ask for advice, and great-grandmother can not help me here. You know I've tried everything I could to win you. Now I'm in trouble because I didn't win. Then I think about how you would handle my problem. Great grandmother always said that if you can't win by skill, use trickery. Trickery didn't work. Whenever you can't win by skill, you try to change the fight so you come out ahead, even if you don't win. I have two days to get you to come to China willingly. That's not going to happen. What do you think I should do?"
"You mean the old ghoul finally listened to me?"
"She said you must be willing to come without force or trickery, and within two days, or our marriage will be annulled."
"Shampoo, You know that's what I wanted for months."
"But why do you want it ended? Aren't I beautiful? I'm a great cook, and an even better fighter!"
"Shampoo, I've told you a hundred times why, and you've never listened."
"Well tell me again, right now! I'm listening!" Shampoo yelled at Ranma, halfway between tears and rage.
Ranma looks sad. "I don't want to marry anyone right now. Everyone is forcing me to. I want to get to know my future wife. Go on dates, fall in love, and then get married to someone who really cares about me, and isn't being forced into it, and is seeing the real me, not just what they want to see. Everyone treats me as if I'm a prize to be won from the other girls. Nobody wants me, they just want to possess me!"
"I want you. I love you."
"You can't. You barely know me. Maybe if we knew each other longer you might know me well enough. But there's no way you can right now. Ryouga might have beaten you on that day. You were overconfident, and he's almost as good as me. Then you'd be chasing Ryouga right now."
"At first it was just the law, and that you were cute, and not Mousse. But I did get to know you better. In two days the law will say we were never married, but I still love you."
"You don't know me well enough to love me."
"I love you enough to want to know you better! In two days you aren't my Airen! Now can I get to know you?"
"When you aren't forced to be my wife, will you be my friend?"
"I thought we were already friends."
"I have no friends, just people trying to squeeze me into what they want. If the law was gone, I'd like to be your friend."
"I'd like that."
--------------------------------
"Great grandmother! I've decided."
"About what?"
"What I want to do about Ranma. I want you to annull the marriage. Let me say goodbye to my friends. Tell the council that I plan to go on a self-imposed exile after they finish punishing me, and come back here and spend more time with Ranma."
"I don't understand why you are doing this."
"Ranma is too powerful to force to come with us. The only way left to get him now is to beg, and I'll never beg a man for anything. I can't be his superior or his inferior, so I must work to stay his equal, and hope he falls for me in time. He wont do it while we're married, so the marriage must end sooner, rather than later. So let's go to China, and get my punishment. No one will say that Shampoo ran away from the council! I'll be running towards what I want, as an amazon should!"
"You do know the risks you're taking? Both with the council and with Ranma? You're giving up your only hold on him."
"That hold never worked. I'll try using friendship as a hold. He doesn't mind that. Besides, he should be brought into the tribe as an equal instead of as a male. He's twice the woman of several of our warriors!"
"I never thought you'd be interested in a same-sex paring."
"I've seen him in the bath, He's man enough when I want a man, and a shieldsister too!"
"Wild horse' indeed. Well, I can let you have the restaurant for a base of operations, but you'll have to pursue Ranma without my help."
"Could you train Mousse enough that he'll be too sore to travel?"
"I'm sure we can arrange something. Go find that idiot, so he can witness my annulling the marriage, and when he celebrates, you may thrash him soundly, so he doesn't cause trouble. Remember, no broken bones, we need someone to carry our stuff home."
"Nabiki is coming tonight for dinner, she might bring Kasumi, but Akane will be at home. She's cooking."
"We'll wait until then, and see if Ukyou will join us."
--------------------------------
Nabiki was surprised. "Ukyou, what are you doing here?"
"Mousse came over to my restaurant, and said that I was invited for dinner, and for an announcement that would change the playing field for Ranma forever."
Cologne approaches them. "That is correct. You are invited to a complementary dinner, after which I'll make a formal announcement as Amazon Matriarch, which will most definitely affect us all."
--------------------------------
As Cologne finishes her meal, she calls Shampoo over. "Close the restaurant, so that there will be no more orders for a while, Tell Mousse to do all the chores, and join us. It is time."
After the hustle dies down, Shampoo sits down. Cologne makes her announcement. "In respect to your emperor, under whom Ranma has sought protection, and as a gesture of friendship between our village, and your islands, we renounce all claim to Ranma Saotome. Shampoo's marriage is now annulled. Furthermore, Ranma is immune to any of the outsider laws, regardless of what has happened in the past or future. Ranma is not an Amazon, either as a male, or a female."
Nabiki smirks. "Some people would feel insulted by your comparison of yourself and your village, to our emperor, and our country."
"Many would be insulted that I raised your side equal to ours. In terms of physical, and political power, he rates sadly compared to me. True, his empire is huge compared to mine, But a word from me could mean war. I don't see that the emperor has that ability. He is the spiritual head of Japan, but I am at the head politically, and militarily. After all, he's a member of the frailer gender."
Ukyou interrupts, "So what happens now? Are you just giving up?"
Shampoo looks angry "I haven't given up. After my punishment for failing, I'm coming back, and try the only thing no one here has tried. I keep trying until I win Ranma, or he loose me to another man. If he's smart, he wont let it last that long. He hasn't learned yet what he'd be loosing, or he'd be coming with us!"
Nabiki grins, "Conceeding your hold on Ranma, but not your arrogance?"
Cologne comments, "There are very few that we will acknowledge our equals. Arrogance, is an occupational hazard. Wether Shampoo returns or not, I'm moving back for good. I'm having this restaurant transferred to Shampoo. She'll now have a sizeable amount of capital for Nabiki to acquire."
--------------------------------
When Mr. Yanagawa next visited Ranma, He announced, "I had a visit from the Amazon matriarch. She is giving you dispensation from all Amazon laws regardless of anything that happened in the past, or in the future. She said you aren't an amazon in either of your forms, but that you'd still be welcome to visit. She had it written on this scroll so that if the need arises, you can show it to any Amazons who might not know.
"She also said that they were leaving Japan immediately, and left personal notes to you from both her and Shampoo."
Ranma reads Cologne's note and chuckles. "She said I was one of her best students, but if I didn't keep practicing, she'd send her other students to fight me, just to embarrass me."
He then read Shampoo's note. "That's wierd. Cologne signed her note with Hope to see you again' and Shampoo signed with See you soon.'"
"Well, she did point out that even if you have diplomatic immunity with her tribe, that that didn't mean that you'd never see them again. She said that in practical terms, you're going to be treated as a promising young warrior, but without the rights and obligations other amazons have.
"She also mentioned that you'll be something of a celebrity in absentia. Amazons in Japan are likely to stop by and gawk. She said she even had an idea to make your exploits into a children's story for the amazons. She said it would be heroic comedy. She wasn't sure wether to change your name in the stories to a traditional one, or not."
"My life as a bedtime story? I don't know wether to be complimented or insulted!"
"She said that if she did, your father would be a real panda, you'd be the main amazon character, Shampoo would be the ingenue warrior, Ukyou would be the pushy, snobbish fighter, and Akane would be the clumsy ogre with a heart of gold. She thought you'd get a kick out of that."
"I better not tell anyone else that, or there'll be a revenge party heading to China."
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
Author's notes: I was planning on Ukyou being the first fiancee to come to her senses. Unfortunately, I like Ukyou too much, so Ranma wasn't as vicious as he was towards Shampoo. Shampoo was the first to break, and the first to recover.
Also Hiroshi and Daisuke seem to have completely disappeared from the story. Daisuke was going to be my sacrifice for dramatic tension! I didn't even get a chance to send him off to England to be beheaded!
The idea of an Amazon bedtime story amuses me, but it didn't come out too well. I've posted it separately.
Please, please, review, correct, argue, or discuss this story.
"Send her in."
Nodoka enters the office. "Diet-man Bakayaro-san, thank you for seeing me at such short notice."
"Nonsense, I'm always available to old friends. What can I do for you?"
"I'm being kept from seeing my son, by a bureaucrat in social services."
"Why that's scandalous! I'll get this straightened out if I have to get him fired. To come between mother and son, I can't believe it."
"Thank you, I knew you could help."
--------------------------------
Mr Yanagawa was talking on his office phone. "Yes sir. I understand sir."
"I'm afraid I'm unable to compromise on this, sir."
"I know this might hurt my career, sir. But I'm not allowed to let a parent visit a victim of child abuse without the child's consent."
"Yes sir. Anyone who would replace me would face criminal charges for complying with this."
"Yes sir, also it might be embarrassing if such a scandal were associated with you."
"Yes, the papers would blow it entirely out of proportion. Best you were clear of this."
"Yes, thankyou. I'm glad to be of help, diet-man Bakayaro.
--------------------------------
That evening, over dinner, Kasumi announces to the other Tendos and Genma "I've decided that Ranma is right. I have taken care of this family long enough. Daddy, you are going to have to take on more of the chores around the house."
Nabiki pipes up "Good going, Sis. It's about time you got to live your own life."
Kasumi continues as if Nabiki hadn't said anything. "I've received admission to a university to study civil engineering. It will mean that the budget will be tight for a while, but if both Nabiki and Akane take some time off before university like I did, and if daddy takes on some more classes, we should be able to afford it. Especially since Ranma is no longer around for Akane to use to make holes in the walls."
Soun sobs "But, we need you, Kasumi, to keep this family running."
Kasumi comments "Well, you could probably convince Nodoka to declare her husband legally dead as she hasn't seen him. Then you could marry her. She could keep house, and you'd have united the families."
--------------------------------
"Diet-man Bakayaro, Nodoka Saotome has called again. We've told her you are still on a fact-finding trip in Honshu."
"Very good."
--------------------------------
"Where, on Earth, am I now!"
Ranma walks up behind him. "You're in the land of broken dreams and shattered hopes. If this isn't a dream of yours, How did I get trapped in this prison? I'm not the Ranma you know."
"Ranma, What are you talking about?"
"When last you saw me, I hadn't been born. I travel through time, like a twig in a river. Welcome to my hell, come freely, and leave some of the happiness you bring."
"You expect me to believe you're a Ranma from another time? Time travel doesn't exist!"
"It's as true as our multiple curses. Would you trade curses for mine if you could?"
"Of course! To be human instead of a pig? In a heartbeat!"
"Not just that curse. All the ones we have."
"What curses are you talking about?"
"Surely you don't feel that you're living the life you deserve? You're multiply cursed, like I am. and of all of them, you only earned the least of them."
"How dare you say I deserve my Jhusenkyo curse!"
"You don't deserve that! Whatever could you have done that's so bad that you deserve that? You're a good man, aren't you?"
"You admit I'm a good man?"
"Sure! You have faults like all humans, but you want to get better. Don't you feel guilty when you realize you've done something bad? When you realized you cut Akane's hair, you immediately apologized, even though you obviously didn't mean to."
"Of course!"
"On the other extreme is Mousse, who put Akane in an aquarium under gallons of water from spring of drowned duck."
"He did that? I'll kill him!"
"It was a long time ago. Save your energy for more recent attrocities. If you try to punish every wrong done, you sin against God, for judgement belongs to him. When you seek revenge, first dig 2 graves. One for your victim, and one for you."
"Don't preach to me about revenge. You know nothing about it."
"You're wrong. I'm wreaking the most devistating revenge on several people. I found a harsher judge than Kami-sama. And none but the insane can escape their punishments."
"What are you talking about?"
"You've missed the last few days here. I haven't hurt anyone, I just kill dreams, leaving no wounds on flesh. I've already managed to remove one of my curses that way, appeasing the curse through the mass sacrifice of dreams."
"You know a cure to the curse? Tell me!"
"I still turn into a girl. The curse I lost is one you don't have."
"What curse did you get rid of?"
"It's best known by the name Genma."
"You've killed your father?"
"Of course not. Several others are still suffering him, but I'm free. Before I forget, when you get to the Tendos, the Emperor's lawyer wants to see you. Don't ask me why, I can't speak for the Emperor."
"What Emperor?"
"Our Emperor. The Emperor of Japan. Don't keep him waiting."
"Which way to the Tendos?"
"That way, see you."
--------------------------------
"Genma, what are we going to do? All of our plans are being torn apart. Ranma's gone. Kasumi's leaving. Akane has offered to take over the chores of cooking. The center can not hold! I always thought Nabiki would be the first one to leave the nest. Now I think she's planning to leave home for good to avoid Akane's cooking, and to get a scholarship based on financial hardship."
"This is horrible! We might have to eat her cooking."
"Genma! My family is falling apart because of your son, and all you're worried about is food?"
A knock is heard at the door. Soun and Genma can barely hear Kasumi inviting someone in. Soun calls out "Kasumi, who is it?"
"It's Nodoka Saotome." A loud splash is heard. Nodoka enters to find Soun sitting alone at a shogi board, and a large panda sitting in the koi pond.
Nodoka approaches Soun. She kneels down before Soun, with her wrapped Katana sitting on her lap in front of her. In a strong, clear, and quiet voice she asks "Where is my husband?"
"He just left on a training trip."
"I'm not in the mood. You're telling me that my husband left on a training trip just after trying to declare my son insane, after what I'm told was a ten year period of abuse? Strange how he's always gone when I show up, but government officials have had no trouble finding him, isn't it?"
"Heh, heh. An amazing coincidence, isn't it?"
"You know I've been seeking him, yet you never manage to get us together at the same time. But somehow, the people of this neighborhood say that the two of you spend almost all of your time together. Strange, isn't it?"
"Well, you see ..."
"No more lies, Soun. I don't care why you're hiding him from me. Deliver my husband to me within a week, or there is blood feud between our families. I know you wish to unite our families, but I swear on the Saotome honor, that if you don't deliver him, the Saotomes will rededicate their lives to exterminating the Tendo family. Thank you for your time."
--------------------------------
That evening, at dinner, Soun and Genma were awfully quiet. Finally Nabiki asked Kasumi what happened that day.
"Ranma's mother came to visit."
Soun bursts into tears.
"And that's why they were so quiet?"
"No, I think it was her threat of blood feud between our families."
"What!"
"No, wait, I got that wrong."
"Thank goodness sister, you nearly gave me a heart attack."
"It wasn't a threat. She said that bloodfeud existed if we don't turn Genma over to her within a week. Her threat was to wipe out the Tendo Clan."
Genma tried to calm things down. "She didn't mean it."
Kasumi clarified "She swore on the Saotome honor, and claimed it was a more pressing obligation than uniting our two families."
Akane shouted "Well, what are we going to do?"
Kasumi responds "Well, there's so many choices, I haven't decided how to handle it."
"Like what?"
"Well, if worst comes to pass, in six days, I'll be on another family's ledger."
"There's gotta be a better solution."
"Oh, yes. But if we can't agree on a course of action, or if Father insists on opposing Mrs. Saotome, I'd rather not be hunted by her, and by extension, Ranma."
"You don't think he would?"
Nabiki interrupted "He never broke off his engagement with Akane because of family honor. It hardly matters. All she has to do is promise that she'll support the marriage of Ranma to whoever delivers her husband, and the most Tendo skulls, and we'll have a dozen Amazons here. In a best case scenario, one of them becomes our mother. There are five choices open to us. First. we leave the Tendo family, and let it end here. Second through fourth. We ally ourselves with one of the Saotomes agaist all the others. Either we protect Genma and fight, or we turn him over to Mrs. Saotome, or we back Ranma."
Akane asks "What's the fifth choice?"
Nabiki answers "Well, if Daddy insists on protecting the panda, we could give Mrs Saotome either of the fathers, and declare Kasumi clan head."
Kasumi answers "That was about what I figured. If Genma runs, our only choice is to seperate ourselves from father. Thats why I added to Genma's food enough animal sedatives to down an angry elephant. After the third panda incident, the local zoo commissioner and I became pretty good friends."
Genma is, of course asleep at this point. But the fact that Kasumi drugged him was enough to snap Soun out of his crying festival. Nabiki looks at him coldly, and says "Well, daddy, in what direction will the Tendo Clan proceed in? Are you going to put us at risk? Or Genma? Or are you going to try to have it both ways?"
Soun looks around, fully shocked. "Um, can I have it both ways?"
"Then daddy, the women of the family will have to decide on what to do."
--------------------------------
The three girls are sitting in the guest room. Genma is still asleep, and tied up on the floor. Kasumi and Akane are sitting on Ranma's fouton, while Nabiki took the seat of highest prominence. She sat on Genma.
Nabiki starts off the discussion "Let's make one thing perfectly clear. We are not going to defend Genma from his wife. Right? So our options are limited. Leave the family. Turn both fathers over to Nodoka, and hope she returns daddy. Force daddy aside as head of the household and give Genma over, or turn the Saotome's against themselves by siding with Ranma."
"We don't need that pervert."
"All other options involve either fighting daddy, or fighting Mrs. Saotome."
--------------------------------
"The next morning finds all of the Tendo's and all of the adult Saotomes in the dojo. Soun sits between Genma and Nodoka, while they face the three daughters. Kasumi as the eldest, speaks first "The Saotome's and the Tendo's have long been allies. Your domestic dispute has dragged our family into it. We have decided that the Tendo family must maintain peace with the Saotome family, or both will be destroyed. Therefor we side with the de facto head of the Saotomes. We will treat you three as Ranma bids."
Nabiki adds "That means all three of you are no longer welcome here until the Saotomes speak with one voice. Only Ranma is welcome. Get out"
Soun and Nodoka both scream "What?" while Genma makes a break for it.
--------------------------------
As Soun and Nodoka leave the dojo (Genma has long since disappeared) Soun turns to Nodoka and says "I know this is awfully awkward, but would you be able to put me up for a few days?"
Nodoka looks at him and says "Only if you'll answer my questions about what the hell is going on."
"On second thought, I don't want to put you out. I'll impose on someone else."
"I'm not giving you a choice. Come with me."
"Ulp."
--------------------------------
Nodoka informally serves Soun a cup of tea at the Saotome home. "Now then what's going on?"
"I don't know where to begin."
"How did you hide my husband each time I arrived. Are you having me watched so that he had warning?"
"Oh no. Your visits were always a complete surprise. Do you believe in old myths of Chinese magic from the wilds of China?"
"What has that got to do with it?"
"Too many of those myths are true, and Genma and Ranma dragged them back here. Genma is under a curse which he uses to his advantage. Whenever he gets wet, he turns into a panda."
"You're joking. I'm not in the mood."
"I can take you to a Chinese restaurant where two other people have similar curses. If only that were the whole story."
"What else?"
"Genma was hiding Ranma from you because he was afraid you'd make him commit sappuku if you weren't satisfied with him. Genma and I think it was when Genma told him about the threat of death, and that you were not dead, coupled with the multiple fiancees, that finally caused Ranma to snap."
"Is Ranma having trouble deciding which of your daughter to marry? Everyone always acted like he had chosen Akane."
"Er, it isn't multiple Tendos that he's engaged to."
"He hasn't gotten someone pregnant, has he?"
"No, he doesn't get much chance to kiss a girl, much less anything else. The Tendo engagement is of course the most important one, but Genma has arranged additional fiancees for him, not counting the women who are chasing him for other reasons."
"If Ranma is so manly, why was Genma afraid of the Seppuku pledge?"
"Well, er... Ranma hasn't committed to any of them, although he likes Akane the most. Not making a decision could be considered childish, right?"
"If he has that much attention from women, I think it very manly, that he enjoy it until he makes a decision."
"Well, Genma wanted to have that resolved before meeting you."
"I can begin to understand that, and I'm not going to take my anger of him out at you. But what did he do to get the doctors to classify Ranma as an abused child?"
"Ahhh, this might take some time to explain."
--------------------------------
Ranma's doctor visits him, delivering his mail. "You have a short note from your mother."
Ranma reads it to the doctor. "Come home. We'll handle Genma's mistakes ourselves. Let's not air our dirty laundry in public."
The doctor replies, "Unfortunately a typical request from a third family member in an abusive situation. The desire to see everyone compromise and form a happy family. Unfortunately it always leads back into more abuse. I've never seen a compromise really work, unless the abusor is actively seeking councelling too. But if you want to hide the situation from outside eyes, the abusor rarely gets the help needed. I can send her some pamphlets explaining this to her."
"OK doc, but I've gotta word a response that doesn't reveal my sanity."
"I really think you might be taking this insanity ploy a bit far."
"That place is a madhouse. I don't want to give up anything that I might need later. How does this sound? Whomever you are, I will decide what is best for my family, after I determine who my family is.' What do you think?"
"I don't know. You're leaving it ambiguous whether you mean you are forming a new family due to your madness, or if you do not believe who she is yet."
"Hey. That works. That wasn't my plan, but any ambiguity will keep them guessing, and that will either keep them from acting, or more likely, act in the wrong direction. That will be my reply."
"You also have a letter from the Tendos. It was forwarded here from Mr. Yanagawa."
"This I didn't expect. A formal declaration. The Tendos will support any decision Ranma Saotome makes concerning Genma Saotome, and Nodoka Saotome in spite of the devisiveness his actions have brought to the Tendo Clan.' Signed by Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi as head of the clan. I've got allies now, even if only Kasumi trusts me. I wonder how they handled their father.'
--------------------------------
Nabiki comes home. "Tadaima, Kasumi. Everything went allright at the bank. As head of the household, and as Matriarch, you now hold the family's pursestrings. Daddy has been removed as a signitory. I have power to sign for funds in an emergency, and you have power to sign for funds from my account the same way. The utilities will all be adressed to you next month, and daddy's mail is being routed to the Saotome's home."
"Is all of this really necessary?"
"Probably not. But without it, Daddy could walk back whenever he gets the nerve and pretend nothing has happened. If we couldn't stop him, no one will believe we are serious. Damn Ranma for forcing this situation."
"Perhaps it's time I paid a call on Ranma."
"You wont get in. All Saotomes and Tendos are barred admittance."
"Even if I don't see him, I should still make the attempt."
--------------------------------
Kasumi enters the hospital, carrying a wrapped plate of cookies. The receptionist asks, "Can I help you?"
"My name is Kasumi Tendo. I'd like to visit Ranma Saotome, but my family is on the list to deny admittance. Could you ask if I might see him?"
"Let me call his doctor, and have him ask. Please have a seat."
--------------------------------
A few minutes later, the receptionist approaches her. "Misses Tendo? The doctor would like to know in what capacity you are visiting."
"Oh my. So many things have changed at home lately. But I really only came as a friend, and to let him know what's been going on in his absence."
"In that case, he'll be waiting for you in visitor's room number eleven."
--------------------------------
"So, how are things going at home?"
"Well, Akane's in shock over helping us evict father, and Nabiki is furious."
"Nabiki's just mad at herself. She thought she knew how everyone would behave. I was the dumb jock, and she was the clever one. When I stopped behaving the way I always had, she started loosing choices she thought she'd always have. She feels like I've outsmarted her, because she can't do what she wants. So until she puts one over on me and proves she's smarter, she's going to act like her panties were bunched up."
"Have you outsmarted her?"
"Naw, I just stopped protecting her. She relied on me, but wouldn't admit it to herself. Now she's gotta solve her own problems, or ask for help, and she can't stand that."
"So, you think it's pride, and self deception that's causing her to act this way?"
"Yeah, that's most of it. Have you ever visited another country without being on a packaged class trip?"
"No, I haven't"
"You should when you get the chance. You've heard of culture shock'? Its when things you never thought about, or expected to change, suddenly do, and the automatic reactions that we use can't work right. The worst is when it is totally innocent. Like when you go to the toilet in a Muslim country, and find out at the last minute that there is no toiletpaper dispenser. Nabiki's going through that now. She assumed I'd be there to pound my old man, and when I wasn't she flipped."
"It has been a hectic week. I've decided to go to University next year. It means Nabiki will probably have to wait a few years before we can afford to send her and Akane to University, but we should be able to manage it."
"Have you decided what you want to study, yet?"
"I was thinking of civil engineering, The building of bridges and powerplants and things."
"When I suggested that you should have something at the end of the day to point at, and feel pride in, I never imagined, you'd be changing the Japanese skyline."
--------------------------------
Akane was making use of Kasumi's absense to cook dinner for Kasumi and Nabiki, when Shampoo burst into the kitchen. "Where'd you hide my husband?"
"I don't know or care where that idiot is! And he's not your husband! He no longer lives here anymore!"
"Did Violent Girl throw another tantrum so that her father would kick Ranma out?"
"Daddy no longer lives here either. Because of Ranma and his parents, we've thrown him out!"
"Foriener girls threw out the men and are now running house without men? First time you do really smart thing. Who is head of your clan?"
"Kasumi is."
"It's good to make the healer a leader in time of peace. A healer in peaceful times so the tribe may grow, A warrior in violent times so the tribe doesn't shrink.' See you."
--------------------------------
Shampoo drops down in front of Nabiki. "Where's my husband!"
"Shampoo, you know I don't give out such information for free."
"I offer you vital information in exchange then. On your honor, you give me a fair exchange for my secret?"
"Of course. Assuming I didn't know it already."
"Akane is cooking your dinner."
Nabiki blanched, and proceeded to relate everything she could think of concerning Ranma, his parents, and her father, and made reservations for dinner that night at the Nekohanten.
--------------------------------
"Great-grandmother. I can't find Ranma, but I have alot of information. More than I know how to deal with."
"Well, child. Tell me what we have learned."
Shampoo relates all that had happened. Afterwards "Cologne frowns at Shampoo. "Child. As an elder, I should tell you to abandon Ranma, but as your grandmother, I don't want to do that. I can give you a couple of days, but you must tell me before trying anything that might anger Ranma. If you don't know how to definitely get Ranma as a husband voluntarily, I'll have to order you to stop."
"But why?"
"Ranma has made continuing our pursuit much more dangerous, and he has simultaneously given us a face-saving excuse. Tell me, Shampoo, what he could do if we brought him into the tribe against his will?"
"If he ran away, we'd chase him!"
"This information doesn't go beyond this room. What I'm about to tell you, I will never have mentioned. I tell you this because I care for you, and don't want to forbid you without you knowing the full reason why. He's threatened to end the amazons if we remove his freedom of choice. He could do it easily."
"Even Ranma's not good enough to kill the amazons!"
"When a thermonuclear bomb can fit in a suitcase, or a package, he's strong enough. Shampoo, what would be the results if warriors were found in borderline Musk territory, killed using Herb's method of combat? Is there anyone besides an elder who could survive, if we pushed him to the point where he could kill? Ranma's too good to kill the Amazons. If he doesn't come voluntarily, he could be a poison pill when we swallow him. Ranma is now under the protection of the Japanese state. Trying anything overt will have far reaching repercussions, including war with Beijing.
"We may be a warrior tribe, but we can be defeated from without. We have survived by making the price of that victory too expensive to contemplate. Ranma has just done the same thing. We can get him at any time, but our losses will be unacceptable."
"But I can't go home without Ranma!"
"You can't go home with Ranma, unless he agrees. And unless he agrees to eventually capitulate, as an Amazon elder, it is my duty to use the excuse that he's now under the protection of the Japanese government, and out of our reach. It is a face-saving gesture."
"But what will happen to me if I don't bring him."
"Child, I'll do everything I can to protect you, but it will be the council's decision. I can give you a couple of days, but then I'll have to order you home."
--------------------------------
A somewhat subdued Shampoo enters the office and sits down. "Mr. Yanagawa, I'm told I need to get your approval to see Ranma."
"That's not completely true. If you disagree with my opinion, you may always see Ranma's doctor. As of yet, Ranma hasn't told us whether to permit or refuse you entrance, so it falls to me to make the decision, Unless you would be willing to write to Ranma."
"No. I must speak to him in person. It's very important. It may affect my life for years to come."
"Well, Ranma has told me a bit about you. So what do you want to talk to Ranma about?"
"Ranma spoke about me? What did he say?"
"He told me you came from a matriarchy, hidden in China. That when it came to fighting, or honor, you had to be treated as one would a Japanese male of great skill. Inspite this, there was nothing masculine about you. He said you certainly weren't an uncute tomboy.' He told me what he knew of your laws, and said you could be a good friend, or a deadly enemy, unfortunately sometimes on the same day. He also mentioned that I couldn't find any guards adequate to protect me from you, but that I wouldn't need them as long as I don't challenge you, and the old ghoul' doesn't explicitly want me killed.
"In other words, you are to be respected, but not feared."
"Hmmph. Amazons should always be feared. But he's right. I only fight those that need fighting. I have a problem. All the rules I've known have been changed. My only choices are to go home in disgrace, or beg Ranma. And Amazons never beg! Great-grandmother can't help me. No one else wants to help me. I need Ranma to give me advice."
"This is an important question. I think it's one that Ranma uses to decide who should visit, and who shouldn't. In what role do you want to interact with Ranma? Is he your husband? Your Airen?"
"Yes he is. But I really want to see him because there's no one else who can help me, and no one else would understand or care!"
"I'll see what I can do."
--------------------------------
"Shampoo? Ranma has said that he's no one's husband, but if you need help, he'll see you."
--------------------------------
"Hi, Shampoo. What's up?"
"You and Great grandmother are the only people I can ask for advice, and great-grandmother can not help me here. You know I've tried everything I could to win you. Now I'm in trouble because I didn't win. Then I think about how you would handle my problem. Great grandmother always said that if you can't win by skill, use trickery. Trickery didn't work. Whenever you can't win by skill, you try to change the fight so you come out ahead, even if you don't win. I have two days to get you to come to China willingly. That's not going to happen. What do you think I should do?"
"You mean the old ghoul finally listened to me?"
"She said you must be willing to come without force or trickery, and within two days, or our marriage will be annulled."
"Shampoo, You know that's what I wanted for months."
"But why do you want it ended? Aren't I beautiful? I'm a great cook, and an even better fighter!"
"Shampoo, I've told you a hundred times why, and you've never listened."
"Well tell me again, right now! I'm listening!" Shampoo yelled at Ranma, halfway between tears and rage.
Ranma looks sad. "I don't want to marry anyone right now. Everyone is forcing me to. I want to get to know my future wife. Go on dates, fall in love, and then get married to someone who really cares about me, and isn't being forced into it, and is seeing the real me, not just what they want to see. Everyone treats me as if I'm a prize to be won from the other girls. Nobody wants me, they just want to possess me!"
"I want you. I love you."
"You can't. You barely know me. Maybe if we knew each other longer you might know me well enough. But there's no way you can right now. Ryouga might have beaten you on that day. You were overconfident, and he's almost as good as me. Then you'd be chasing Ryouga right now."
"At first it was just the law, and that you were cute, and not Mousse. But I did get to know you better. In two days the law will say we were never married, but I still love you."
"You don't know me well enough to love me."
"I love you enough to want to know you better! In two days you aren't my Airen! Now can I get to know you?"
"When you aren't forced to be my wife, will you be my friend?"
"I thought we were already friends."
"I have no friends, just people trying to squeeze me into what they want. If the law was gone, I'd like to be your friend."
"I'd like that."
--------------------------------
"Great grandmother! I've decided."
"About what?"
"What I want to do about Ranma. I want you to annull the marriage. Let me say goodbye to my friends. Tell the council that I plan to go on a self-imposed exile after they finish punishing me, and come back here and spend more time with Ranma."
"I don't understand why you are doing this."
"Ranma is too powerful to force to come with us. The only way left to get him now is to beg, and I'll never beg a man for anything. I can't be his superior or his inferior, so I must work to stay his equal, and hope he falls for me in time. He wont do it while we're married, so the marriage must end sooner, rather than later. So let's go to China, and get my punishment. No one will say that Shampoo ran away from the council! I'll be running towards what I want, as an amazon should!"
"You do know the risks you're taking? Both with the council and with Ranma? You're giving up your only hold on him."
"That hold never worked. I'll try using friendship as a hold. He doesn't mind that. Besides, he should be brought into the tribe as an equal instead of as a male. He's twice the woman of several of our warriors!"
"I never thought you'd be interested in a same-sex paring."
"I've seen him in the bath, He's man enough when I want a man, and a shieldsister too!"
"Wild horse' indeed. Well, I can let you have the restaurant for a base of operations, but you'll have to pursue Ranma without my help."
"Could you train Mousse enough that he'll be too sore to travel?"
"I'm sure we can arrange something. Go find that idiot, so he can witness my annulling the marriage, and when he celebrates, you may thrash him soundly, so he doesn't cause trouble. Remember, no broken bones, we need someone to carry our stuff home."
"Nabiki is coming tonight for dinner, she might bring Kasumi, but Akane will be at home. She's cooking."
"We'll wait until then, and see if Ukyou will join us."
--------------------------------
Nabiki was surprised. "Ukyou, what are you doing here?"
"Mousse came over to my restaurant, and said that I was invited for dinner, and for an announcement that would change the playing field for Ranma forever."
Cologne approaches them. "That is correct. You are invited to a complementary dinner, after which I'll make a formal announcement as Amazon Matriarch, which will most definitely affect us all."
--------------------------------
As Cologne finishes her meal, she calls Shampoo over. "Close the restaurant, so that there will be no more orders for a while, Tell Mousse to do all the chores, and join us. It is time."
After the hustle dies down, Shampoo sits down. Cologne makes her announcement. "In respect to your emperor, under whom Ranma has sought protection, and as a gesture of friendship between our village, and your islands, we renounce all claim to Ranma Saotome. Shampoo's marriage is now annulled. Furthermore, Ranma is immune to any of the outsider laws, regardless of what has happened in the past or future. Ranma is not an Amazon, either as a male, or a female."
Nabiki smirks. "Some people would feel insulted by your comparison of yourself and your village, to our emperor, and our country."
"Many would be insulted that I raised your side equal to ours. In terms of physical, and political power, he rates sadly compared to me. True, his empire is huge compared to mine, But a word from me could mean war. I don't see that the emperor has that ability. He is the spiritual head of Japan, but I am at the head politically, and militarily. After all, he's a member of the frailer gender."
Ukyou interrupts, "So what happens now? Are you just giving up?"
Shampoo looks angry "I haven't given up. After my punishment for failing, I'm coming back, and try the only thing no one here has tried. I keep trying until I win Ranma, or he loose me to another man. If he's smart, he wont let it last that long. He hasn't learned yet what he'd be loosing, or he'd be coming with us!"
Nabiki grins, "Conceeding your hold on Ranma, but not your arrogance?"
Cologne comments, "There are very few that we will acknowledge our equals. Arrogance, is an occupational hazard. Wether Shampoo returns or not, I'm moving back for good. I'm having this restaurant transferred to Shampoo. She'll now have a sizeable amount of capital for Nabiki to acquire."
--------------------------------
When Mr. Yanagawa next visited Ranma, He announced, "I had a visit from the Amazon matriarch. She is giving you dispensation from all Amazon laws regardless of anything that happened in the past, or in the future. She said you aren't an amazon in either of your forms, but that you'd still be welcome to visit. She had it written on this scroll so that if the need arises, you can show it to any Amazons who might not know.
"She also said that they were leaving Japan immediately, and left personal notes to you from both her and Shampoo."
Ranma reads Cologne's note and chuckles. "She said I was one of her best students, but if I didn't keep practicing, she'd send her other students to fight me, just to embarrass me."
He then read Shampoo's note. "That's wierd. Cologne signed her note with Hope to see you again' and Shampoo signed with See you soon.'"
"Well, she did point out that even if you have diplomatic immunity with her tribe, that that didn't mean that you'd never see them again. She said that in practical terms, you're going to be treated as a promising young warrior, but without the rights and obligations other amazons have.
"She also mentioned that you'll be something of a celebrity in absentia. Amazons in Japan are likely to stop by and gawk. She said she even had an idea to make your exploits into a children's story for the amazons. She said it would be heroic comedy. She wasn't sure wether to change your name in the stories to a traditional one, or not."
"My life as a bedtime story? I don't know wether to be complimented or insulted!"
"She said that if she did, your father would be a real panda, you'd be the main amazon character, Shampoo would be the ingenue warrior, Ukyou would be the pushy, snobbish fighter, and Akane would be the clumsy ogre with a heart of gold. She thought you'd get a kick out of that."
"I better not tell anyone else that, or there'll be a revenge party heading to China."
--------------------------------
--------------------------------
Author's notes: I was planning on Ukyou being the first fiancee to come to her senses. Unfortunately, I like Ukyou too much, so Ranma wasn't as vicious as he was towards Shampoo. Shampoo was the first to break, and the first to recover.
Also Hiroshi and Daisuke seem to have completely disappeared from the story. Daisuke was going to be my sacrifice for dramatic tension! I didn't even get a chance to send him off to England to be beheaded!
The idea of an Amazon bedtime story amuses me, but it didn't come out too well. I've posted it separately.
Please, please, review, correct, argue, or discuss this story.