Disclaimer: This story is INSPIRED by Rowling's "Harry Potter" books. I've added a couple of my own characters, but I don't own the concept. For a full disclaimer on characters, please see Chapter 1.

Author Note: Please be aware: this work is A/U, so I've taken some creative liberties. So those of you who are not keen on writing that deviates from canon, you are forewarned. I hope you'll still read and enjoy the story. Constructive feedback is always welcome!

Rating: R (for some sexual content and violence in later chapters)

Go raibh maith agaibh (that's "thank you" in modern Irish Gaelic):

Evenstar Elanor… Glad the background on Serena worked for you. I did get to the Castlebann part early because it is needed for the future. It will all become clear.

Serenn… Thanks for the review. You didn't have email, so I hope you come back to read more.

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Chapter 4: Memories

Severus looked up from his book as lightning bathed the room in brilliance before fading away into the growl of thunder. As head of Slytherin House, he had a spacious apartment, but his favorite room was the smallest one in the large flat: his study. There was a small fireplace and two stuffed leather chairs with a table between them. The chairs faced a latticed window that went from waist height up to the ceiling and looked over the rolling lawn of Hogwart's.

The shelves were lined with books of all types. There were books on magic, of course, but there were also biographies and books on science. There were books on law and books on philosophy. There were even a few collections of poetry tucked in and among the other works. He put the book he was reading aside and walked over to the window. Rain beat against the panes, running down the glass in erratic streams.

Another rumble of thunder rolled through the room and he could feel the vibrations deep in his chest. Turning, he went back to the chair but didn't pick the book up again. Rather he flipped the cover closed and sat staring into the embers glowing on the fire's hearth. Unbidden, a face appeared in the coals. With a start, Severus tore his gaze away from the glowing orange and yellows. The face had been Serena's.

Why does she haunt me? She slips unbidden into my thoughts, my dreams. A splitting shriek of thunder startled Severus out of his thoughts and he scowled darkly. "Ah! I despise the October rain," he said out loud. "Nothing good has ever come out of this time of year."

His frown deepened and his thoughts flew back to Serena. Her mood had been dark as of late and he knew why. Tonight was the anniversary of the Death Eater attack on Castlebann. The memory still made him ashamed.

Many months before Castlebann happened, Severus Snape had begun to wonder if his decision to join the Death Eaters had been the right one. Oh, he certainly agreed with some of the beliefs Voldemort espoused. But then, Voldemort had become more ambitious, more radical. Soon there were "accidents." Castlebann was decimated. Wizards and witches who vocally opposed Voldemort began to disappear, and they also began to die. The Clearwaters. The Chapmans. The Sutherlands. The Longbottoms. The Potters…

James and Lily Potter.

Severus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his hawk-like nose. The attacks had never set well with him. He had his beliefs, but he was no murderer. Shortly before Castlebann, Severus had gone to Albus Dumbledore and asked the Hogwart's Headmaster to help him build a new life. A life that didn't involve the Death Eaters. Then the Potters were killed and Severus didn't know how to feel. After 15 years, he still didn't know what to feel.

"I hated James Potter." His voice was no more than a whisper. "He made my life miserable during school. The torment, the taunts. There were days when I wished him dead. Him and Sirius and the bloody lot of them." But to actually act on that? No, he thought. Wishing someone dead and actually murdering them are two different creatures. I am not a savage.

Maybe that was why he was so hard on Harry, the combination of old guilt and even older anger. The boy looked so much like his father, Severus could not help but feel the old anger, the pent up resentment. He shouldn't take it out on Harry, but he was only a man, and an imperfect one at that. The only thing that kept him from completely and utterly hating Harry Potter was Harry's mother, Lily Evans Potter.

Deep down, if he forced himself to think about it, Severus had a crush on Lily while they were in school. It was more because she had always been kind to him than for any real romantic reason. When James and the others had turned their pranks and taunts on him, Lily had always called them out for their misbehavior. A memory, unlooked for and unwanted, leaped into his mind...

Sirius Black lounged on the wide sill of the window. Near him were his best friends – the Marauders as they called themselves – Remus Lupin and James Potter.

"Hey," said James, "if it isn't Sniveling Snape." A round of laughter echoed around the room. Severus tightened his hold on his book and looked at them sullenly through his tangled hair.

"Quite a display today in Dark Arts," snorted Sirius.

They were referring to that day's Defense Against Dark Arts class. The professor had asked a question and called on Severus, who had been writing notes in his book. When Snape was unable to answer immediately, the professor had instantly begun to badger him, making Severus stammer and try to explain himself. He'd failed miserably and the snickers and glances from his classmates had only made the humiliation burn hotter.

"What have you got there?" asked James. He reached out and yanked the book away from Severus.

"Give that back!" Severus reached out but James held the book up and out of his reach. It wasn't hard to do. James and Sirius were both tall and strong with athletic builds from playing Quidditch. Severus, on the other hand, was skinny and pale from spending so much time indoors with his books. He also hadn't had the growth spurt that would come that next year, when he would grow several inches to rival James Potter in height. For now, he was sorely outmatched by the two bigger boys.

"Make me give it back," said James. He put his hand out and shoved Severus back. The skinnier boy stumbled backward and was shoved from behind by Sirius. Lupin, standing to the side, frowned a little. James walked backward with a laugh until he bumped into someone. He turned and met Lily Evans' icy stare. She snatched the book out of James' hands and pushed by him. She handed the book back to Severus who took it with a mumbled thank you. Then she turned back towards James. Her arms were folded in front of her and she frowned deeply.

"Don't look at me like that, Lily," he said with a laugh.

"You should be ashamed," was all she said.

"Come on, we were just joking around," James said with a grin in an attempt to charm Lily and make her smile.

"Yea, Snape here knows we're just kidding around," said Sirius coming to stand next to Snape. Severus wanted to spit on Black, but knew that would just make things worse. He despised Sirius almost as much as he did Potter.

"Well it doesn't look that way to me. It just looks mean."

Severus took that chance to dart around the two bigger boys and head out of the library. Lily caught his eye as he passed and offered him a small smile. He returned it as best he could. As he hurried out of the room he could hear James Potter behind him.

 "We'll see you around… Severus."

He could hear the unspoken word, 'sniveling', hidden in the laughter of Potter's voice.

"Bastard," muttered Snape. He never knew what Lily had seen in James Potter, but she'd seen something. And that something had become love. Even as Lily's feelings for James had warmed, she had always challenged her boyfriend when he did things she disagreed with. She was always polite, if not kind to him, and he had always been grateful for that. That was something he liked about Serena. If she saw something unfair, she wasn't afraid to point it out. He might not always agree with Serena, but he appreciated her straightforwardness.

And there, he realized, his thoughts had come full circle, coming to rest again on the lovely, intriguing Serena Castleton-Black. He sighed. Who was he fooling? It is one thing to walk between classes and share an intriguing conversation, he thought, but an attraction? Regardless of how he felt, there was no way the feeling could possibly be returned. He'd gone down that path before and the results had been painful at best.

"Enough of this," he growled out loud. "Dwelling in these dark memories is senseless." As he stood up amidst the glow of another lightning flash he paused. On the wind there was an extra noise, a wail of anguish. He hurried to the window and peered out into the darkness, but the sound was swallowed up in the rain and the wind. Severus turned away and started to walk out of the study, but at the doorway, he turned back for a moment and stared at the window again, a vague unease troubling his thoughts.

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Such ends the next chapter in "Thunderstruck." These past two have more been for background and set up for what will come in the future. Hope you're still finding the story intriguing. Please review and let me know what you think!