Chapter 8 - Very Late
Jackie in verse - could it get worse?
(Slashes indicate all the breaks in the lines
where poetry fits to make verses just fine)
I don't own JCA / Though it seems that I should / Own the cartoon that makes Kids WB so darn good.
Seven siblings of Shendu / Who were out on the prowl While Tarakudo's gen'rals / stood there with scowls So many a villain / A sight to behold How stupid was Jackie / to stand and not fold When faced with the future of being deceased Or the chance of becoming Po Kong's future feast
Valmont in his office / Hiding from Finn and Ratso and Chow / Who always did grin When thinking of Big V / in his nice suit They really did think that Valmont was cute
And so it would seem / that a knock on the door caused Big V to fall down / onto the floor. But it wasn't the enforcers / Finn, Ratso, or Chow But a man who offered to get V out now And safe from his minions who could not get a clue His savior went by the name of Hak Foo.
Elsewhere in San Fran / A pervert at work Posting pictures of Jade on the 'net. / What a jerk! Only one man could be / This disgusting and wrong That degenerate geezer / Yep, Daolon Wong A voyeur and sicko / A Peeping Tom Too Daolon Wong was a deviant / a freak through and through
This took the cake though / The sick deed this time The pictures of Jade weren't just wrong - they were slime Of her in her bunny suit / One Halloween Where Jackie had painted her face all up green (What did you expect me to say there ya scum? Naughty pictures of minors? You dirty ol' bum)
But back to the story / of Shendu and co The ones who loved Valmont / Could not let him go Tso Lan, for example / was making a spell That would make Big V's life / a true living hell. He had Shendu's teeth / And a slipper of gold To make history repeat / He was truly bold To attempt such enchantments / That could create doom Or injury, trauma, or just a big BOOM We'll get to him later though / You wait and see Tso Lan's got a big gift in store for Big V.
Uncle was dressed / In a leprechaun's garb He was skillfully avoiding / All Jackie's barbs "Why do you do this?" Jackie asked the good man "AIYA!" Uncle screamed. "Because I am a CHAN!" And with that / The old man skipped right out of the door And left Captain Black as the head of the store.
Jackie ran after him just as fast as he could He knew Uncle could be up to no good Running through San Francisco / On March 17 As a leprechaun old man / He'd be seeing green and possibly black / and some ugly blues too 'Cause the parade was no place for such a big foo' And as Uncle began to lead the floats by Jackie caught him / and left the parade high and dry.
Uncle sat in his room / clearly miffed at his niece And his nephew / who had called the police And made sure that the senile / Uncle of Chans Would not make any more / Masterful plans But not even the police / Could stop him for long As he placed a call to that / Wizard Man - Master Fong
Master Fong told him / "Patience, my erudite friend" Jackie and Jade / Will get theirs in the end. And so Uncle sat on his bedpost with glee Happily thinking / of what he would see When what went around came around and Jackie would find His niece and himself / trapped in quite the bind.
Hsi Wu was thinking / of Valmont again And he kept thinking / "Oh, when, Valmont, when Will you accept me, and take my advance? And let me come with you to see Paris, France?" Only thoughts such as these / could run through his head And certainly no thought / of Big V being dead The sky demon loved him / at least guessed he did Big V thought of him as a nuisance - a kid! El Toro and Paco / were dancing with glee For they had just got into a concert / for free Not only a concert / but wrestling, to boot Though they were the only ones who gave a hoot And Viper came with them / to lend them a hand In case they needed to make one last stand It looked like they might, for the first men to show Were six Oni Generals / of Tarakudo.
Big Kahuna had sent them along on their way He did not want those six / Ruining his day The day where he'd finally / Get Valmont at last But he'd have to move quickly / He'd have to move fast
For Tso Lan was at it / Once more, and again He knew that his brothers / Were Valmont's true bane. But he'd make it worse / If he had this one shot If this worked out right / Valmont's mind surely'd rot And work out it did / And the smoke rose to show The return of the son of Shendu - Drago! From the future it seemed / He'd been freed to find The father who'd left him and cost him his mind.
This Drago - this boy on a hunt for his Pa Did find him - or found something he saw To look strangely similar to the great Commandant Shendu - Or in this case... Valmont
"Father!" He yelled at the top of his voice Valmont knew that he had / no other choice But to run for his life / Or gain one more weight He hated these suitors / By God, he was straight! And so Valmont took his shoes / and boy did he run Right into Drago's Father / Shendu - a Dragon! Only one thing could save / Valmont from his fans A senile man / With the name Uncle Chan!
Like Tarzan / The old man swung by on the rope Even though he saved Valmont / He looked like a dope. "An old man in a loincloth?" Sneered Valmont as he Took off from the Dragons / Who so wanted to be As near to the Brit as they possibly could, Though he did have a 'tude unlike any man should.
And Uncle kept swinging / Through vines and through trees And Valmont was screaming / "Oh, put me down, please!" It wasn't their day / As a guy crossed their path It seemed as though Uncle / Had Tarakudo's wrath. "Give me my Valmont" / He yelled very loud So much so that his voice invited a crowd Valmont's suitors, it seemed, they all were in truth But Drago, he thought this crowd was uncouth. And he saved good ol Big V / He also saved Unc And Uncle did give him a gift - a big skunk! Just in time, it would seem / For Jade to arrive And Jackie / To see their Uncle alive!
And Uncle did throw the skunk high in the air And when it ignited / It caused quite a scare The mayor of San Fran / Thought "Terror's at work! We must find them out! / Wherever they lurk!" So Uncle had started a city-wide lock down of everywhere / And it was quite a shock For Jackie to realize that he couldn't leave And Uncle to realize that he'd been deceived "Aiya!" He did cry! "Aiya!" Once again "Master was wrong! All's not well that ends!"
Can Uncle get out of the mess he has made? Can Jackie? Can Valmont? Can Drago? Can Jade? You'll have to find out / In the ninth chapter here It won't be in verse / I can promise that, dears. But you'll have to wait / for this is all I can do. So if you want more, please read - and review!
I don't own JCA / Though it seems that I should / Own the cartoon that makes Kids WB so darn good.
Seven siblings of Shendu / Who were out on the prowl While Tarakudo's gen'rals / stood there with scowls So many a villain / A sight to behold How stupid was Jackie / to stand and not fold When faced with the future of being deceased Or the chance of becoming Po Kong's future feast
Valmont in his office / Hiding from Finn and Ratso and Chow / Who always did grin When thinking of Big V / in his nice suit They really did think that Valmont was cute
And so it would seem / that a knock on the door caused Big V to fall down / onto the floor. But it wasn't the enforcers / Finn, Ratso, or Chow But a man who offered to get V out now And safe from his minions who could not get a clue His savior went by the name of Hak Foo.
Elsewhere in San Fran / A pervert at work Posting pictures of Jade on the 'net. / What a jerk! Only one man could be / This disgusting and wrong That degenerate geezer / Yep, Daolon Wong A voyeur and sicko / A Peeping Tom Too Daolon Wong was a deviant / a freak through and through
This took the cake though / The sick deed this time The pictures of Jade weren't just wrong - they were slime Of her in her bunny suit / One Halloween Where Jackie had painted her face all up green (What did you expect me to say there ya scum? Naughty pictures of minors? You dirty ol' bum)
But back to the story / of Shendu and co The ones who loved Valmont / Could not let him go Tso Lan, for example / was making a spell That would make Big V's life / a true living hell. He had Shendu's teeth / And a slipper of gold To make history repeat / He was truly bold To attempt such enchantments / That could create doom Or injury, trauma, or just a big BOOM We'll get to him later though / You wait and see Tso Lan's got a big gift in store for Big V.
Uncle was dressed / In a leprechaun's garb He was skillfully avoiding / All Jackie's barbs "Why do you do this?" Jackie asked the good man "AIYA!" Uncle screamed. "Because I am a CHAN!" And with that / The old man skipped right out of the door And left Captain Black as the head of the store.
Jackie ran after him just as fast as he could He knew Uncle could be up to no good Running through San Francisco / On March 17 As a leprechaun old man / He'd be seeing green and possibly black / and some ugly blues too 'Cause the parade was no place for such a big foo' And as Uncle began to lead the floats by Jackie caught him / and left the parade high and dry.
Uncle sat in his room / clearly miffed at his niece And his nephew / who had called the police And made sure that the senile / Uncle of Chans Would not make any more / Masterful plans But not even the police / Could stop him for long As he placed a call to that / Wizard Man - Master Fong
Master Fong told him / "Patience, my erudite friend" Jackie and Jade / Will get theirs in the end. And so Uncle sat on his bedpost with glee Happily thinking / of what he would see When what went around came around and Jackie would find His niece and himself / trapped in quite the bind.
Hsi Wu was thinking / of Valmont again And he kept thinking / "Oh, when, Valmont, when Will you accept me, and take my advance? And let me come with you to see Paris, France?" Only thoughts such as these / could run through his head And certainly no thought / of Big V being dead The sky demon loved him / at least guessed he did Big V thought of him as a nuisance - a kid! El Toro and Paco / were dancing with glee For they had just got into a concert / for free Not only a concert / but wrestling, to boot Though they were the only ones who gave a hoot And Viper came with them / to lend them a hand In case they needed to make one last stand It looked like they might, for the first men to show Were six Oni Generals / of Tarakudo.
Big Kahuna had sent them along on their way He did not want those six / Ruining his day The day where he'd finally / Get Valmont at last But he'd have to move quickly / He'd have to move fast
For Tso Lan was at it / Once more, and again He knew that his brothers / Were Valmont's true bane. But he'd make it worse / If he had this one shot If this worked out right / Valmont's mind surely'd rot And work out it did / And the smoke rose to show The return of the son of Shendu - Drago! From the future it seemed / He'd been freed to find The father who'd left him and cost him his mind.
This Drago - this boy on a hunt for his Pa Did find him - or found something he saw To look strangely similar to the great Commandant Shendu - Or in this case... Valmont
"Father!" He yelled at the top of his voice Valmont knew that he had / no other choice But to run for his life / Or gain one more weight He hated these suitors / By God, he was straight! And so Valmont took his shoes / and boy did he run Right into Drago's Father / Shendu - a Dragon! Only one thing could save / Valmont from his fans A senile man / With the name Uncle Chan!
Like Tarzan / The old man swung by on the rope Even though he saved Valmont / He looked like a dope. "An old man in a loincloth?" Sneered Valmont as he Took off from the Dragons / Who so wanted to be As near to the Brit as they possibly could, Though he did have a 'tude unlike any man should.
And Uncle kept swinging / Through vines and through trees And Valmont was screaming / "Oh, put me down, please!" It wasn't their day / As a guy crossed their path It seemed as though Uncle / Had Tarakudo's wrath. "Give me my Valmont" / He yelled very loud So much so that his voice invited a crowd Valmont's suitors, it seemed, they all were in truth But Drago, he thought this crowd was uncouth. And he saved good ol Big V / He also saved Unc And Uncle did give him a gift - a big skunk! Just in time, it would seem / For Jade to arrive And Jackie / To see their Uncle alive!
And Uncle did throw the skunk high in the air And when it ignited / It caused quite a scare The mayor of San Fran / Thought "Terror's at work! We must find them out! / Wherever they lurk!" So Uncle had started a city-wide lock down of everywhere / And it was quite a shock For Jackie to realize that he couldn't leave And Uncle to realize that he'd been deceived "Aiya!" He did cry! "Aiya!" Once again "Master was wrong! All's not well that ends!"
Can Uncle get out of the mess he has made? Can Jackie? Can Valmont? Can Drago? Can Jade? You'll have to find out / In the ninth chapter here It won't be in verse / I can promise that, dears. But you'll have to wait / for this is all I can do. So if you want more, please read - and review!