CH 11 I'm Alive in Reality
A/N: hey, I feel like this is a waste of my time...and I don't think my story is rated PG-13, do you? This chapter is interesting...I guess. Sorry this is taking so long, I need an inspiration. :-D
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I've become so numb, I can't feel you there... (A/N: Linkin Park song called Numb)
That song...
That song keeps haunting me,
What's wrong with me-?
I can't get out of Shadow land, I can only hear and see, and all I see is a long...corridor...full of fog (Or should I say full of bull). And all I hear are two things; what's going on at earth and what's going on at "Shadowland", which isn't much. I try to get up but I'm like lying down and floating... moving towards what I think is the end of the hall. I try to move but I can't feel my body, let alone get up, but I can still move my fingers, face and head.
Where's Jesse?
I hear all this commotion, I hear people yelling, but it's unclear...I that Jesse's nearby but I try desperately to tell him I'm okay, but it's not working. I hear totally different things than what I see.
And what I see is not a Christmas present or a dainty little party waiting for me-
It's Paul at the end of the hallway waiting for me.
Why is this guy haunting me?
I try to get up and run, but I'm floating...literally...towards Paul, the enemy.
NO, stop! But my body won't even listen to me...I'm floating, and floating, and drifting towards him...
Finally, I'm right next to the devil himself, and you want to know what he did? Me being immobile and all, I guess he thinks he's "god" and that he can do anything he wants, no matter the consequences.
"Hi Suze." He bends down and kisses me. I try to slap him, it doesn't work. I turn my head and look around frantically, trying to find a weapon or something to knock Paul out. I notice that my clothes are all ripped up and I have a great big hole in the front of my twenty buck shirt; I was assuming that that was where the lady stabbed me. Then I comprehend that I'm floating five feet in the air, Oh joy...
"Paul, go away and leave me alone." I try yet again to run, but to no avail.
Paul casually leans against a wall, careful to avoid the doors and studies me nonchalantly. "So, should I rid off Jesse today?" he asks, completely ignoring my command. No one takes a girl seriously these days, God, haven't you noticed? It's like they all need hearing aids. I stare at Paul, wondering how on earth did I once think of him as a "hottie", seriously, I had bad taste back then. (Hey, it was only a year ago, okay? During the summer. The sun can do strange things to a person...)
"What are you talking about? Jesse has nothing to do with this and leave him out of this." I spat. I close my eyes, trying to picture my room but it wasn't working. I felt Paul's hand on my face and I quickly snap open my eyes to see him inches away from me.
"Suzie, Suzie, Suzie, you're so good and playing stupid, aren't you? Well, just to freshen up your memory, here's a hint: you came to my house that one time with that lovely bathrobe and asked me to. Can I now?"
"I don't remember such a thing and DON'T CALL ME SUZIE!" Then it was
clicking. Crissi-me...
...we look alike...
....she was eyeing Jesse...
...hmm... something's not right.
"Paul, what was I wearing?" I ask innocently and quietly. Paul smiles and says,
"I think it was a hooker outfit, but you looked good in it; black's your color."
Definitely Crissi, but why, why would she do this? Did she PLAN that I get stabbed?
Then a thought occurs:
Am I dead?
I stared at Paul's face and was trying to read his mind. Oh yeah...it was Crissi...and Paul going...shall we say overboard?
Then I hear it-"Hi Jesse." It makes my blood run cold and my eyes angrily narrow. I close my eyes and listen intently, completely ignoring Paul.
"YOU!" It was Jesse! He sounds upset and irritated.
I try screaming. "JESSE!!" but he couldn't hear me.
"Yes, me, now can we make out?" It was Crissi.
UH! HOW DARE SHE DO THAT and SAY THAT!
Jesse, I know Crissi looks like me but she's a demon, don't fall for her! She's an IMPOSTER!
"This is all your fault and you're not doing anything. Susannah is dying and it's all your fault!" I feel Goosebumps all over my arms.
"All I have to do is take out the needle and take Suze off the antibiotics and then your beloved 'querida' is dead, she might even go to heaven and leave you all alone."
With her, I think bitterly. She wants Jesse for herself! The selfish slut!
I glance at my forearm, I see nothing but I feel something sliding out of my arm and I have a feeling that that is bad.
"NO! Stop! Please, don't hurt her; don't harm my querida, I..." I hear Jesse sigh as if he were vanquished. He cares about me! "What do you want from me in order to stop you hurting my querida?"
Ah, he DOES have feelings for me, just admit it, Jesse! I know you love me...
"I want you; I want you to screw me. Then I'll leave you and Suzie alone."
Suzie? I do care about that but not that much, Oh my God, rewind and FREEZE! (A/N: I know, totally Princess Diary-ish) She SO didn't just say that. No, Jesse...don't...she's using you...please...
I feel tears fall down my cheek, I do not know why but it's sad, I mean, with a girl with that bod, how can a guy resist temptation?
"What does...screw mean?" Him and his oldies language, I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"Freak me, let's have sex, stick you're arse in mine, whatever." Okay, instead of arse and freak, she said the "real" ones, that would have guys swooning because guys don't care if they do it or not at this age and at my time; but not in Jesse's time, but unfortunately for her, Jesse de Silva is taken by yours truly. ME! One good thing in my life, yay...
I heard a whack and then screaming and yelling, but I didn't care. Jesse CARED about me; he didn't want to go with another girl that looked exactly like me!
Curse Crissi for coming and ruining my life!
Then I hear something that even made Paul who I totally forgot is there, listen and at the end of all that, I realized that Crissi played them all. Sean and Paul, she was after my Jesse! NO!
I can't let this happen!
"I'm sorry Crissi but I can't love you, I'm already "taken"." He said "taken" with a note of sarcasm. "No matter what you say, I don't believe anymore." I feel a presence near me and I feel the needle go further into my arm even though it was my real body, not my soul, and yeah, I was kind of unconscious up there because I'm with Jerk over here.
I open my eyes and saw that Paul had a look of "semi-sadness" (note the sarcasm and pun). He seems upset about the fact that my "identical twin" played him; he had such high hopes that I really did like him and really did...yeah. Ah, well, the demon got beat by Satan and beggars can't be choosers. (I was scared though, was he going to hit me?) Or maybe he didn't know-maybe he just looks pissed because of what happened a minute later. He opened his mouth to talk to me but instead I picture my hospital bed and then, I'm there. Away from Paul and the Shadowland and near Jesse, not too long later though, he leaves. I pretend to be unconscious.
I felt Jesse's weight on my bed and he put my hand into his. I felt him brush hair off my face and then he said something that I thought he'd never say. Problem was that he thought I was unconscious so then he just spilled. If only he'd say it to me when I wasn't playing "dead".
"I love you querida, I'll be back. Hold on"-Oh, I certainly will be holding on thank you-
"If I had the needed blood, I'd have given all of it to you, even my heart along with it."
Then he kissed me and that took all my breath away.
He kissed me on the lips!!
And then he was gone. Just like that. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling feeling my mouth where Jesse had just kissed me...
I've become so numb...
Okay, that song? Yeah, well it definitely applies now. I smiled happily and went to sleep, ignoring the pain in my chest, because nothing could ruin this happy moment in my short and miserable life. I wonder what Jesse will say...
I'm tough, I can handle this. (Well if I could I probably wouldn't be here now would I?
I'm tough; I can handle this...then...
"OW! Migraine! Shifter MIGRAINE!"
Where's the Advil?
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Brad's POV
So yeah, Paul's here and we're heading to see the doc who takes the blood while Jesse is shooting death looks.
I wonder what Suze would do if she found out that two guys who she considers 'hot' (can we say, "I think she has bad taste?") are betting to see who wins her? Not with money, but practically their lives. Hmm...got to wonder about that, well we all know she'll be happy, very happy. But who in their right mind would like Suze?
I asked Paul and he said, "Dude, your Step-sister, Suze is a babe slash hottie!!" I walked away, shaking my head in disbelief and wondering what I consider a hottie, oh yeah, Debbie. Now that, that is what we call a b-a-b- e. I mean, have any of them seen Suze in the morning? Oh yeah...Jesse has and he even has seen her horrendous feet after that walk home after school when she went to visit Paul. I knew she was lying when she said it was because of her new "Jimmy Choos" that caused her feet to go all red and rawish and EW!
I glanced at Jesse and Paul. Jesse had a look of PURE pain and Paul looked smug, probably thinking that he was so good because he bugged someone and was going to earn Suze. By the looks of it, it seems to me that Paul and Jesse don't really like each other; it's so obvious. They tried breaking each other's fingers and now they are on either side of me and it's very intimidating...I have these two, body guardish dudes on both sides.
You know what though? I'm really good at playing dumb, in fact, I was the one that convinced Dave to be a genius, I always would beat him in word contest; just, no one knows because I had threatened David. He thinks I'm mean which of course I'm not!
I peered around, looking for, you know, those hospital shops where you can get goodies, presents, and souvenirs (who would want a hospital gift? I mean its like, "Here you go, I went to the hospital and got you this! It's a Christmas present and it's worth a lot." Oh sure, and I'm a pope. Yeah, people will really want that, what is it, a stethoscope?) and most preferably, food. I swear, the food court food is sometimes, not always, but sometimes better than Dad's cooking! NO offense, man.
Finally, I saw my haven.
Full
Of MY
Orange
Juice w/
Tons of
Cartons.
(A/N: does that look kind of like an orange juice carton?)
Awesome! I quickly asked if my body guards (One Latino looking the other, European?) if they were hungry. Of course Paul was, but Jesse? Oh, I forgot. He couldn't eat and I think I had just insulted him. On Accident. Instead he just watched us eat without saying anything, but I figured he was upset.
I bought two cartons of orange juice, a whole pizza, and tons of napkins. I set everything down and Paul and I just attacked the food. Me, eating it quickly without chewing and Paul eating slowly...making Jesse go red with jealously.
"Want some?" Paul asked then he sneered. "Oh yeah, I forgot, dead guy can't eat. Oh well, he CAN kiss and have a girlfriend, right?" What a Meany; not to mention dumb butt. (*the other butt)
Jesse just looked depressed and continued staring at the food. Things he couldn't have and then it clicked; he was jealous of Paul's life and he thought Paul had a better chance since he was alive.
Man, what a loser. Doesn't he get it? Suze is WAY head over feet about Jesse.
Then Jesse disappeared, only to return later, asking if we were ready. Paul said not yet and continued eating slowly. What a dumb butt. I swear, my grandma eats quicker than that, without her teeth.
Then I realized something; Jesse could change lives with Paul. Mediator handbook chapter seven; body replacements, page ninety-two, temperamental though-Jesse could exchange bodies...Jesse would still look the same but be alive. Or I could give Jesse back his life, for an hour though...by giving someone else's blood and injecting it in Jesse's arm.
I should tell Suze about this...
"C'mon turtle, let's go, NOW!" I downed the rest of the orange juice and threw it out. Paul finally finished his half of the pizza (pepperoni, extra cheese and ham, thin crust if I do say so myself) and we left quickly.
Somehow we made it before closing hours and then we shoved Paul in, filled out the forms, drew out some blood (I snuck a vile out and stuck it in my pocket, this could come in handy later.) and then the nurse smiled and said that it was compatible. We left and filed back to Suze's room.
"Dude?" Paul asked me.
I grunted.
"You've got blood all over your shirt."
I looked down and he was right; I completely forgot about Suze's blood all over my shirt. I grumbled something and cleaned up my shirt. Dumb butt, (*the other butt) I muttered.
Jesse heard me and grinned.
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David's POV
(A/N: this is going to be hard...)
Jesse's here. I can tell for I feel a presence and on my electric sensor which is secretly hidden in my compartment, it's active and therefore, that means he's here. Although I can't see him and Brad and Suze can, I do know the basis of Mediating. The definition is to lead the lost souls to their right destination, identical to that tarot card; Ninth Key.
Brad just entered, with another, rather tall boy, obviously another one of his dense jock companions. And there was this most abnormal gap between Brad and jock so I am assuming that it is Jesse. I wish I could see him; maybe he could tell me about life back when he was still alive. I smiled in the direction I thought he was at.
Everyone (consisting of Father, Jake, and Mother) was in Suze's room, waiting for her to wake up. Brad sat next to me and asked how Suze was doing now that they received the blood from Jock. Then I realized that this was the boy at our house when cruel Cousin Crissi came who mysteriously was in Suze's room, no doubt figuring out the true essence of love. I'm assuming that Suze likes him but then she didn't seem too happy that day.
Mother (Yes, I've finally gotten over my other birth mother) was sobbing hysterically and pronouncing all these promises to Suze's bedside.
"I'll-I'll*Sniff* I'll let Paul over every day." She was sobbing uncontrollably now. "I'm sorry for seeing that*Sniff* you never found a decent boy." I felt a wind brush my vest and looked around. I noticed that the windows were shaking ever so slightly.
"I'll*Sniff* let you go over anyone's house, even if their parents aren't home! JUST *Sob* PLEASE *sob* wake UP! Don't leave me like you..Ooo...oor father." Then she literally passed out. I felt so sorry for mother. First Suze's father, now Suze. I hope she doesn't die. I like Suze, she's...cool.
Then she continued confessing. "I'll let Paul come over EVERYDAY! I'll let him go to your room when we're home alone and you can use the stuff I bought you-" Paul, aka Jock perked up and I heard the window panels shaking frenziedly and I knew it was Jesse: he was jealous. Mom didn't notice. "PLEASE WAKE UP! I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for yelling at you when your feet were all bloody, I'm sorry for sending you to therapy, I'm sorry for forcing you to do things! I'm sorry for making you move and I'm sorry for making you leave Gina all for my sake."
The windows were rattling with a vengeance and then mom finally noticed.
'What's going on?" she asked, her voice all hoarse.
"Mom-can I get you a cup of tea? It'll soothe your throat." Mom agreed and I left with her, looking behind me and seeing a shadow and Brad talking to it, telling it to , "Cool down."
I took out a palm pilot and wrote down that I should remind Brad...then Cee Cee, Adam and Father Dominic came in the room.
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Jesse's POV
When Susannah's mother said that, I completely forgot everything. I was upset...Paul got the privilege to court Susannah while I, being dead, was a nothing because Susannah's mother couldn't see me. She could never approve of me while she is obsessed with Paul. I got upset and I felt my heart flame. I have never felt this way before and now I felt
grieved.
Never would I be able to be with Susannah.
Paul had won.
Paul had completely won and I hadn't even realized it until now.
I felt like an idiot.
I lost control of my powers and the windows started shaking. I felt heat and rage that I have never experienced well up inside of me and I was angry with Paul. Paul looked happy, just being alive.
Never would Susannah be able to show me to people, never would we go out in public, never would I be able to love her the way I'd like to.
Never. Never had such a definite and final sound to it. I have never loved, never died in essence, I have never felt this pain.
The windows rattled loudly.
If this were a gift from God, then it is a suffering one. Then Cee Cee, Adam, and Father Dominic came in with the holy water.
"I feel a presence in the room. My whatever is shaking the windows' please, STOP in the name of God? I know Susannah's serious injury is disrupting but PLEASE, STOP?"
I quickly stopped as holy water hit my face.
I wiped it off my face and disappeared to compose myself. I was making such a fool of myself and I was being ungrateful, all over Susannah! Not that I didn't care but I had promised myself that I would not
Dishonor Susannah, Love Susannah for I had nothing to give her other than my affection, Say too much.
The problem is that I'm too late. I have told her too much (Like my nickname and life) and I love Susannah, so much in fact that I would die for her, and I'm probably the only man other than her father who would die for her. The most twisted thing about this is that I can't die for her because I'm already dead. Another thing I can't do and Paul (the coward) could do so easily but won't for he doesn't feel love for Susannah, he doesn't care about her emotions, her essence, her own safety, sense of humor, qualities or such, all he cares about is Susannah's beauty.
I appeared in Susannah's room. So quiet...and empty now that Susannah wasn't here. I sat on her bed and pictured her fair complexion. It was like a rose; a human cannot make it bud or open a bud. Only God can make such beauty and grace and be as skilled into as to being able to open one and it still containing its beauty.
I walked up to her mirror. All I saw was everything but my reflection, I didn't mind; just the fact that I am dead... I never was good looking enough like Paul.
If Susannah liked me, why would she call me "cowboy" (that really did hurt my feelings) and "cadaver breath"?
I went up to her dresser and looked at her cosmetics which I found unnecessary for she was already beautiful. Women...so complicated yet simple.
Unpredictably, Father Dominic opened the door and came in. I jumped and had such high hopes that it was someone worth talking to about my problem. Father Dominic has never approved of my love for Susannah.
"Susannah is doing well! She is breathing better and will soon wake up." He announced.
"Hello, good Father." I said quietly. I hoped that he couldn't read my expression on my face; I knew it was hurt and agony even though I couldn't see it.
Father Dominic peered into my face. "Why Jesse! What ever is the matter?" he asked quickly.
I didn't answer him. When I did talk to him, I asked a request. "Father?"
He nodded and turned around and took out holy water.
"May I ask a request?" He nodded again and started unscrewing the cap.
"May you exorcise me?" He dropped the bottle onto Susannah's bed and it spilled. Well, Susannah's bed was blessed, so then God would have mercy on whoever is sleeping in bed with her.
"Why is heaven's name! Why would you do that? If I did, Susannah would come back. No, no, certainly not." He clutched his heart as if
"Please, Father?" I begged.
"Absolutely no!" he cried and went to pick up the bottle, screwed it back together and put it away.
"Well then," I asked respectfully, "Why did you bring the holy water?"
Father Dominic stiffened. "Well, now that her mother granted approval for a boy to come over, I decided it was best to bless the room."
That sent me into fresh peals of bitter-sweet emotions. Why Paul and not me? I don't want to seem selfish but why that demon who deserves to be put in hell? I knew a small part of me was a fragment upset about her coming back to life. A fragment of a part of me had hoped for her to die so that I could spend all of eternity alone. I could not help but hate God at that moment. Why had he killed me off and made me into a ghost when I would just be tormented for all eternity? I was cursing God for all this misery, making me dead, making me a ghost, not letting me die in peace, putting Susannah in that coma, and putting that wretched Paul on this blessed earth. Why?
I heard Father Dominique trying to console me, saying how I had been so honorable, and that I had never been ungrateful or unhelpful towards Susannah and him. I wanted to get away. I tried to walk past Father Dominique, and I passed by the mirror, and I stopped. I felt myself go cold.
I stared into the mirror. Instead of seeing everything but me, I saw her room, and a tall, Latino teenager standing in a rather feminine room. I whirled around to face the good Father.
"Fa-father..." I stuttered. Father Dominic's eyes were wide. He did the sign of the cross.
"In the name of Our Holy Father!"
I quickly pulled up my sleeve. "No...no...this is false..." I muttered. I felt my pulse beating its first in over a hundred years.
This was unreal.
I felt my neck. A steady beat, then my chest; I felt fresh blood pumping through my veins. I'm alive. I thought excitedly. I'm alive.
I'm Alive.
I'm Alive.
I'm Alive!!
I raised my hands up in praise of God.
Father walked towards me and felt my pulse. "In God's name, you are alive!"
"I'm alive..." I breathed. "I'm alive..." that thought has never occurred before, never. That word sounded so final.
Then I dematerialized, or at least the way a ghost use to. I couldn't. I couldn't disappear. I couldn't walk through doors. I couldn't spend eternity in torment. I could die like a normal person.
Does this last forever? I asked the father. He didn't know. I tried to run out of the door but Father Dominic stopped me. Then he gave a rare smile.
"You need to change."
Oh yes, I forgot. I raced into Brad's room and tried on clothes. They were too short. Then I went to Jake's room once vacated, now full of things piled on top of another. I pulled on short pants, a shirt and sandals as Father called them. Then I raced out the door with Father Dominic.
We ran all the way to the hospital, while I got looks from the women in the area. We ran to the ward where Susannah was.
Then I stopped.
Susannah.
What would she say?
What would she do?
What would Paul do?
What would Crissi do?
What would Susannah's family do?
We stopped and rested at Susannah's door.
"Ready?" Father Dominic asked me. I nodded and slowly opened the door.
Father Dom gave me a push of encouragement.
I breathed in heavily and then walked in the room. I went past the curtain blocking Susannah's private cubicle.
I walked past the astounded faces of Brad and Paul, and David (Doc referred as to Susannah)
I moved past Susannah's stepbrother Jake and her mother and father.
And then I saw her...
I lost all the feeling in me...
There was the beauty of life,
Right in front of me...
Sitting up...
Staring in amazement...
At me.
A/N: Is it good? Please review, I like this chapter, Jesse is alive. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! I can't stress that enough!! PLEASE, this took two days to write. And how many times did I have to type, "I'm alive." ?
A/N: hey, I feel like this is a waste of my time...and I don't think my story is rated PG-13, do you? This chapter is interesting...I guess. Sorry this is taking so long, I need an inspiration. :-D
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I've become so numb, I can't feel you there... (A/N: Linkin Park song called Numb)
That song...
That song keeps haunting me,
What's wrong with me-?
I can't get out of Shadow land, I can only hear and see, and all I see is a long...corridor...full of fog (Or should I say full of bull). And all I hear are two things; what's going on at earth and what's going on at "Shadowland", which isn't much. I try to get up but I'm like lying down and floating... moving towards what I think is the end of the hall. I try to move but I can't feel my body, let alone get up, but I can still move my fingers, face and head.
Where's Jesse?
I hear all this commotion, I hear people yelling, but it's unclear...I that Jesse's nearby but I try desperately to tell him I'm okay, but it's not working. I hear totally different things than what I see.
And what I see is not a Christmas present or a dainty little party waiting for me-
It's Paul at the end of the hallway waiting for me.
Why is this guy haunting me?
I try to get up and run, but I'm floating...literally...towards Paul, the enemy.
NO, stop! But my body won't even listen to me...I'm floating, and floating, and drifting towards him...
Finally, I'm right next to the devil himself, and you want to know what he did? Me being immobile and all, I guess he thinks he's "god" and that he can do anything he wants, no matter the consequences.
"Hi Suze." He bends down and kisses me. I try to slap him, it doesn't work. I turn my head and look around frantically, trying to find a weapon or something to knock Paul out. I notice that my clothes are all ripped up and I have a great big hole in the front of my twenty buck shirt; I was assuming that that was where the lady stabbed me. Then I comprehend that I'm floating five feet in the air, Oh joy...
"Paul, go away and leave me alone." I try yet again to run, but to no avail.
Paul casually leans against a wall, careful to avoid the doors and studies me nonchalantly. "So, should I rid off Jesse today?" he asks, completely ignoring my command. No one takes a girl seriously these days, God, haven't you noticed? It's like they all need hearing aids. I stare at Paul, wondering how on earth did I once think of him as a "hottie", seriously, I had bad taste back then. (Hey, it was only a year ago, okay? During the summer. The sun can do strange things to a person...)
"What are you talking about? Jesse has nothing to do with this and leave him out of this." I spat. I close my eyes, trying to picture my room but it wasn't working. I felt Paul's hand on my face and I quickly snap open my eyes to see him inches away from me.
"Suzie, Suzie, Suzie, you're so good and playing stupid, aren't you? Well, just to freshen up your memory, here's a hint: you came to my house that one time with that lovely bathrobe and asked me to. Can I now?"
"I don't remember such a thing and DON'T CALL ME SUZIE!" Then it was
clicking. Crissi-me...
...we look alike...
....she was eyeing Jesse...
...hmm... something's not right.
"Paul, what was I wearing?" I ask innocently and quietly. Paul smiles and says,
"I think it was a hooker outfit, but you looked good in it; black's your color."
Definitely Crissi, but why, why would she do this? Did she PLAN that I get stabbed?
Then a thought occurs:
Am I dead?
I stared at Paul's face and was trying to read his mind. Oh yeah...it was Crissi...and Paul going...shall we say overboard?
Then I hear it-"Hi Jesse." It makes my blood run cold and my eyes angrily narrow. I close my eyes and listen intently, completely ignoring Paul.
"YOU!" It was Jesse! He sounds upset and irritated.
I try screaming. "JESSE!!" but he couldn't hear me.
"Yes, me, now can we make out?" It was Crissi.
UH! HOW DARE SHE DO THAT and SAY THAT!
Jesse, I know Crissi looks like me but she's a demon, don't fall for her! She's an IMPOSTER!
"This is all your fault and you're not doing anything. Susannah is dying and it's all your fault!" I feel Goosebumps all over my arms.
"All I have to do is take out the needle and take Suze off the antibiotics and then your beloved 'querida' is dead, she might even go to heaven and leave you all alone."
With her, I think bitterly. She wants Jesse for herself! The selfish slut!
I glance at my forearm, I see nothing but I feel something sliding out of my arm and I have a feeling that that is bad.
"NO! Stop! Please, don't hurt her; don't harm my querida, I..." I hear Jesse sigh as if he were vanquished. He cares about me! "What do you want from me in order to stop you hurting my querida?"
Ah, he DOES have feelings for me, just admit it, Jesse! I know you love me...
"I want you; I want you to screw me. Then I'll leave you and Suzie alone."
Suzie? I do care about that but not that much, Oh my God, rewind and FREEZE! (A/N: I know, totally Princess Diary-ish) She SO didn't just say that. No, Jesse...don't...she's using you...please...
I feel tears fall down my cheek, I do not know why but it's sad, I mean, with a girl with that bod, how can a guy resist temptation?
"What does...screw mean?" Him and his oldies language, I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"Freak me, let's have sex, stick you're arse in mine, whatever." Okay, instead of arse and freak, she said the "real" ones, that would have guys swooning because guys don't care if they do it or not at this age and at my time; but not in Jesse's time, but unfortunately for her, Jesse de Silva is taken by yours truly. ME! One good thing in my life, yay...
I heard a whack and then screaming and yelling, but I didn't care. Jesse CARED about me; he didn't want to go with another girl that looked exactly like me!
Curse Crissi for coming and ruining my life!
Then I hear something that even made Paul who I totally forgot is there, listen and at the end of all that, I realized that Crissi played them all. Sean and Paul, she was after my Jesse! NO!
I can't let this happen!
"I'm sorry Crissi but I can't love you, I'm already "taken"." He said "taken" with a note of sarcasm. "No matter what you say, I don't believe anymore." I feel a presence near me and I feel the needle go further into my arm even though it was my real body, not my soul, and yeah, I was kind of unconscious up there because I'm with Jerk over here.
I open my eyes and saw that Paul had a look of "semi-sadness" (note the sarcasm and pun). He seems upset about the fact that my "identical twin" played him; he had such high hopes that I really did like him and really did...yeah. Ah, well, the demon got beat by Satan and beggars can't be choosers. (I was scared though, was he going to hit me?) Or maybe he didn't know-maybe he just looks pissed because of what happened a minute later. He opened his mouth to talk to me but instead I picture my hospital bed and then, I'm there. Away from Paul and the Shadowland and near Jesse, not too long later though, he leaves. I pretend to be unconscious.
I felt Jesse's weight on my bed and he put my hand into his. I felt him brush hair off my face and then he said something that I thought he'd never say. Problem was that he thought I was unconscious so then he just spilled. If only he'd say it to me when I wasn't playing "dead".
"I love you querida, I'll be back. Hold on"-Oh, I certainly will be holding on thank you-
"If I had the needed blood, I'd have given all of it to you, even my heart along with it."
Then he kissed me and that took all my breath away.
He kissed me on the lips!!
And then he was gone. Just like that. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling feeling my mouth where Jesse had just kissed me...
I've become so numb...
Okay, that song? Yeah, well it definitely applies now. I smiled happily and went to sleep, ignoring the pain in my chest, because nothing could ruin this happy moment in my short and miserable life. I wonder what Jesse will say...
I'm tough, I can handle this. (Well if I could I probably wouldn't be here now would I?
I'm tough; I can handle this...then...
"OW! Migraine! Shifter MIGRAINE!"
Where's the Advil?
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Brad's POV
So yeah, Paul's here and we're heading to see the doc who takes the blood while Jesse is shooting death looks.
I wonder what Suze would do if she found out that two guys who she considers 'hot' (can we say, "I think she has bad taste?") are betting to see who wins her? Not with money, but practically their lives. Hmm...got to wonder about that, well we all know she'll be happy, very happy. But who in their right mind would like Suze?
I asked Paul and he said, "Dude, your Step-sister, Suze is a babe slash hottie!!" I walked away, shaking my head in disbelief and wondering what I consider a hottie, oh yeah, Debbie. Now that, that is what we call a b-a-b- e. I mean, have any of them seen Suze in the morning? Oh yeah...Jesse has and he even has seen her horrendous feet after that walk home after school when she went to visit Paul. I knew she was lying when she said it was because of her new "Jimmy Choos" that caused her feet to go all red and rawish and EW!
I glanced at Jesse and Paul. Jesse had a look of PURE pain and Paul looked smug, probably thinking that he was so good because he bugged someone and was going to earn Suze. By the looks of it, it seems to me that Paul and Jesse don't really like each other; it's so obvious. They tried breaking each other's fingers and now they are on either side of me and it's very intimidating...I have these two, body guardish dudes on both sides.
You know what though? I'm really good at playing dumb, in fact, I was the one that convinced Dave to be a genius, I always would beat him in word contest; just, no one knows because I had threatened David. He thinks I'm mean which of course I'm not!
I peered around, looking for, you know, those hospital shops where you can get goodies, presents, and souvenirs (who would want a hospital gift? I mean its like, "Here you go, I went to the hospital and got you this! It's a Christmas present and it's worth a lot." Oh sure, and I'm a pope. Yeah, people will really want that, what is it, a stethoscope?) and most preferably, food. I swear, the food court food is sometimes, not always, but sometimes better than Dad's cooking! NO offense, man.
Finally, I saw my haven.
Full
Of MY
Orange
Juice w/
Tons of
Cartons.
(A/N: does that look kind of like an orange juice carton?)
Awesome! I quickly asked if my body guards (One Latino looking the other, European?) if they were hungry. Of course Paul was, but Jesse? Oh, I forgot. He couldn't eat and I think I had just insulted him. On Accident. Instead he just watched us eat without saying anything, but I figured he was upset.
I bought two cartons of orange juice, a whole pizza, and tons of napkins. I set everything down and Paul and I just attacked the food. Me, eating it quickly without chewing and Paul eating slowly...making Jesse go red with jealously.
"Want some?" Paul asked then he sneered. "Oh yeah, I forgot, dead guy can't eat. Oh well, he CAN kiss and have a girlfriend, right?" What a Meany; not to mention dumb butt. (*the other butt)
Jesse just looked depressed and continued staring at the food. Things he couldn't have and then it clicked; he was jealous of Paul's life and he thought Paul had a better chance since he was alive.
Man, what a loser. Doesn't he get it? Suze is WAY head over feet about Jesse.
Then Jesse disappeared, only to return later, asking if we were ready. Paul said not yet and continued eating slowly. What a dumb butt. I swear, my grandma eats quicker than that, without her teeth.
Then I realized something; Jesse could change lives with Paul. Mediator handbook chapter seven; body replacements, page ninety-two, temperamental though-Jesse could exchange bodies...Jesse would still look the same but be alive. Or I could give Jesse back his life, for an hour though...by giving someone else's blood and injecting it in Jesse's arm.
I should tell Suze about this...
"C'mon turtle, let's go, NOW!" I downed the rest of the orange juice and threw it out. Paul finally finished his half of the pizza (pepperoni, extra cheese and ham, thin crust if I do say so myself) and we left quickly.
Somehow we made it before closing hours and then we shoved Paul in, filled out the forms, drew out some blood (I snuck a vile out and stuck it in my pocket, this could come in handy later.) and then the nurse smiled and said that it was compatible. We left and filed back to Suze's room.
"Dude?" Paul asked me.
I grunted.
"You've got blood all over your shirt."
I looked down and he was right; I completely forgot about Suze's blood all over my shirt. I grumbled something and cleaned up my shirt. Dumb butt, (*the other butt) I muttered.
Jesse heard me and grinned.
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David's POV
(A/N: this is going to be hard...)
Jesse's here. I can tell for I feel a presence and on my electric sensor which is secretly hidden in my compartment, it's active and therefore, that means he's here. Although I can't see him and Brad and Suze can, I do know the basis of Mediating. The definition is to lead the lost souls to their right destination, identical to that tarot card; Ninth Key.
Brad just entered, with another, rather tall boy, obviously another one of his dense jock companions. And there was this most abnormal gap between Brad and jock so I am assuming that it is Jesse. I wish I could see him; maybe he could tell me about life back when he was still alive. I smiled in the direction I thought he was at.
Everyone (consisting of Father, Jake, and Mother) was in Suze's room, waiting for her to wake up. Brad sat next to me and asked how Suze was doing now that they received the blood from Jock. Then I realized that this was the boy at our house when cruel Cousin Crissi came who mysteriously was in Suze's room, no doubt figuring out the true essence of love. I'm assuming that Suze likes him but then she didn't seem too happy that day.
Mother (Yes, I've finally gotten over my other birth mother) was sobbing hysterically and pronouncing all these promises to Suze's bedside.
"I'll-I'll*Sniff* I'll let Paul over every day." She was sobbing uncontrollably now. "I'm sorry for seeing that*Sniff* you never found a decent boy." I felt a wind brush my vest and looked around. I noticed that the windows were shaking ever so slightly.
"I'll*Sniff* let you go over anyone's house, even if their parents aren't home! JUST *Sob* PLEASE *sob* wake UP! Don't leave me like you..Ooo...oor father." Then she literally passed out. I felt so sorry for mother. First Suze's father, now Suze. I hope she doesn't die. I like Suze, she's...cool.
Then she continued confessing. "I'll let Paul come over EVERYDAY! I'll let him go to your room when we're home alone and you can use the stuff I bought you-" Paul, aka Jock perked up and I heard the window panels shaking frenziedly and I knew it was Jesse: he was jealous. Mom didn't notice. "PLEASE WAKE UP! I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for yelling at you when your feet were all bloody, I'm sorry for sending you to therapy, I'm sorry for forcing you to do things! I'm sorry for making you move and I'm sorry for making you leave Gina all for my sake."
The windows were rattling with a vengeance and then mom finally noticed.
'What's going on?" she asked, her voice all hoarse.
"Mom-can I get you a cup of tea? It'll soothe your throat." Mom agreed and I left with her, looking behind me and seeing a shadow and Brad talking to it, telling it to , "Cool down."
I took out a palm pilot and wrote down that I should remind Brad...then Cee Cee, Adam and Father Dominic came in the room.
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Jesse's POV
When Susannah's mother said that, I completely forgot everything. I was upset...Paul got the privilege to court Susannah while I, being dead, was a nothing because Susannah's mother couldn't see me. She could never approve of me while she is obsessed with Paul. I got upset and I felt my heart flame. I have never felt this way before and now I felt
grieved.
Never would I be able to be with Susannah.
Paul had won.
Paul had completely won and I hadn't even realized it until now.
I felt like an idiot.
I lost control of my powers and the windows started shaking. I felt heat and rage that I have never experienced well up inside of me and I was angry with Paul. Paul looked happy, just being alive.
Never would Susannah be able to show me to people, never would we go out in public, never would I be able to love her the way I'd like to.
Never. Never had such a definite and final sound to it. I have never loved, never died in essence, I have never felt this pain.
The windows rattled loudly.
If this were a gift from God, then it is a suffering one. Then Cee Cee, Adam, and Father Dominic came in with the holy water.
"I feel a presence in the room. My whatever is shaking the windows' please, STOP in the name of God? I know Susannah's serious injury is disrupting but PLEASE, STOP?"
I quickly stopped as holy water hit my face.
I wiped it off my face and disappeared to compose myself. I was making such a fool of myself and I was being ungrateful, all over Susannah! Not that I didn't care but I had promised myself that I would not
Dishonor Susannah, Love Susannah for I had nothing to give her other than my affection, Say too much.
The problem is that I'm too late. I have told her too much (Like my nickname and life) and I love Susannah, so much in fact that I would die for her, and I'm probably the only man other than her father who would die for her. The most twisted thing about this is that I can't die for her because I'm already dead. Another thing I can't do and Paul (the coward) could do so easily but won't for he doesn't feel love for Susannah, he doesn't care about her emotions, her essence, her own safety, sense of humor, qualities or such, all he cares about is Susannah's beauty.
I appeared in Susannah's room. So quiet...and empty now that Susannah wasn't here. I sat on her bed and pictured her fair complexion. It was like a rose; a human cannot make it bud or open a bud. Only God can make such beauty and grace and be as skilled into as to being able to open one and it still containing its beauty.
I walked up to her mirror. All I saw was everything but my reflection, I didn't mind; just the fact that I am dead... I never was good looking enough like Paul.
If Susannah liked me, why would she call me "cowboy" (that really did hurt my feelings) and "cadaver breath"?
I went up to her dresser and looked at her cosmetics which I found unnecessary for she was already beautiful. Women...so complicated yet simple.
Unpredictably, Father Dominic opened the door and came in. I jumped and had such high hopes that it was someone worth talking to about my problem. Father Dominic has never approved of my love for Susannah.
"Susannah is doing well! She is breathing better and will soon wake up." He announced.
"Hello, good Father." I said quietly. I hoped that he couldn't read my expression on my face; I knew it was hurt and agony even though I couldn't see it.
Father Dominic peered into my face. "Why Jesse! What ever is the matter?" he asked quickly.
I didn't answer him. When I did talk to him, I asked a request. "Father?"
He nodded and turned around and took out holy water.
"May I ask a request?" He nodded again and started unscrewing the cap.
"May you exorcise me?" He dropped the bottle onto Susannah's bed and it spilled. Well, Susannah's bed was blessed, so then God would have mercy on whoever is sleeping in bed with her.
"Why is heaven's name! Why would you do that? If I did, Susannah would come back. No, no, certainly not." He clutched his heart as if
"Please, Father?" I begged.
"Absolutely no!" he cried and went to pick up the bottle, screwed it back together and put it away.
"Well then," I asked respectfully, "Why did you bring the holy water?"
Father Dominic stiffened. "Well, now that her mother granted approval for a boy to come over, I decided it was best to bless the room."
That sent me into fresh peals of bitter-sweet emotions. Why Paul and not me? I don't want to seem selfish but why that demon who deserves to be put in hell? I knew a small part of me was a fragment upset about her coming back to life. A fragment of a part of me had hoped for her to die so that I could spend all of eternity alone. I could not help but hate God at that moment. Why had he killed me off and made me into a ghost when I would just be tormented for all eternity? I was cursing God for all this misery, making me dead, making me a ghost, not letting me die in peace, putting Susannah in that coma, and putting that wretched Paul on this blessed earth. Why?
I heard Father Dominique trying to console me, saying how I had been so honorable, and that I had never been ungrateful or unhelpful towards Susannah and him. I wanted to get away. I tried to walk past Father Dominique, and I passed by the mirror, and I stopped. I felt myself go cold.
I stared into the mirror. Instead of seeing everything but me, I saw her room, and a tall, Latino teenager standing in a rather feminine room. I whirled around to face the good Father.
"Fa-father..." I stuttered. Father Dominic's eyes were wide. He did the sign of the cross.
"In the name of Our Holy Father!"
I quickly pulled up my sleeve. "No...no...this is false..." I muttered. I felt my pulse beating its first in over a hundred years.
This was unreal.
I felt my neck. A steady beat, then my chest; I felt fresh blood pumping through my veins. I'm alive. I thought excitedly. I'm alive.
I'm Alive.
I'm Alive.
I'm Alive!!
I raised my hands up in praise of God.
Father walked towards me and felt my pulse. "In God's name, you are alive!"
"I'm alive..." I breathed. "I'm alive..." that thought has never occurred before, never. That word sounded so final.
Then I dematerialized, or at least the way a ghost use to. I couldn't. I couldn't disappear. I couldn't walk through doors. I couldn't spend eternity in torment. I could die like a normal person.
Does this last forever? I asked the father. He didn't know. I tried to run out of the door but Father Dominic stopped me. Then he gave a rare smile.
"You need to change."
Oh yes, I forgot. I raced into Brad's room and tried on clothes. They were too short. Then I went to Jake's room once vacated, now full of things piled on top of another. I pulled on short pants, a shirt and sandals as Father called them. Then I raced out the door with Father Dominic.
We ran all the way to the hospital, while I got looks from the women in the area. We ran to the ward where Susannah was.
Then I stopped.
Susannah.
What would she say?
What would she do?
What would Paul do?
What would Crissi do?
What would Susannah's family do?
We stopped and rested at Susannah's door.
"Ready?" Father Dominic asked me. I nodded and slowly opened the door.
Father Dom gave me a push of encouragement.
I breathed in heavily and then walked in the room. I went past the curtain blocking Susannah's private cubicle.
I walked past the astounded faces of Brad and Paul, and David (Doc referred as to Susannah)
I moved past Susannah's stepbrother Jake and her mother and father.
And then I saw her...
I lost all the feeling in me...
There was the beauty of life,
Right in front of me...
Sitting up...
Staring in amazement...
At me.
A/N: Is it good? Please review, I like this chapter, Jesse is alive. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! I can't stress that enough!! PLEASE, this took two days to write. And how many times did I have to type, "I'm alive." ?