Title: Arcanum

Author: Retep

Pairings: 3x2

Archive: , Erotic Encounters: ,

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and I probably wouldn't know what to do with it if I did. No money is made on my part...wow that is depressing...yet true.

Feedback: If you have the time to write it, I have the time to read it.

            The mission briefing had gone better than Trowa had expected, but dealing with so many people had drained him both of patience and energy.  He had spent a good hour with the men that had been selected to attack the Organization's base.  It hadn't bothered him that the men had fired questions off as quickly as he could answer them, or the groans that they had emitted when he told them that the attack was only twenty-right hours away.  What had bothered him had been the feeling of anxiety that was heavy in the air.  The men were scared, and he couldn't blame them.  If anything went wrong with the mission, it could easily turn into another blood bath.

            Trowa let out a sigh as he fumbled for his keys and opened the door to the apartment.  He figured that Quatre, Wufei, and Duo were still working on the details of the mission so he might actually have the chance to rest in quiet before spending the next twenty-four hours studying maps of the ventilation shafts that Duo had drawn up.  He hadn't gotten more than four hours of sleep the night before …not that he particularly minded the way that Duo had kept him awake.  A smirk spread on his face as he opened the door and stepped over the threshold.

            Immediately he knew that something was wrong.  He couldn't see anything; someone had turned off the lights in that apartment, and drawn all of the shades. For an instant his body tensed, his thoughts immediately turned to the possibility of an ambush.  But the attack never came.  He flicked on the light switch nearest to him and light flooded the room, revealing only Duo sitting Indian-style on the couch and staring directly into his eyes.

            "That's really creepy, you know that?"

            Duo slowly nodded his head, showing that he was well aware of the fact.  Trowa sighed as he crossed the room and took the chair across from the couch.  "I suppose you want to talk about what happened during the mission briefing.  Look, don't take it personally; I really am the best choice for the position.  I am an expert at infiltration, and I have more experience in the field then any of the men that Wufei has assigned to the operation."  Trowa shook his head and murmured, "Men…boys, is more like it. But then again I guess we were younger when we got started."  He looked at Duo who was still staring at him. "…I don't suppose you'd agree to talk about this later and let me get some rest?"

            A dangerous smile appeared on Duo's face, "You suppose right."

            Trowa's eyes narrowed, he wasn't sure what Duo was planning on doing, but the expression that was on his face was not a good sign.  He shifted his position in the chair so that he would be better prepared to make a move if it came down to that. "All right then, have it your way.  What is it you want?"

            "This isn't about what I want; this is about what you want."

            Trowa looked at him incredulously, "Come again?"

            "You heard me."

            "I'm not in the mood for games right now Duo."

            "This isn't a game…it's a trade."

            "A trade?"

            "Yes," Duo stretched out his legs and set his feet on the floor.  He leaned forward on the couch and looked at Trowa intently.  "What is it that I can offer that will make you stay behind?"

            "All right I have several points.  First, you know me better than that Duo, after I have accepted a mission I don't back down. Second, you have a lot of nerve taking up the most dangerous position on the mission, and then getting ticked that I am risking my neck too. Lastly, if I remember correctly, you aren't exactly well off right now.  What makes you think that you have anything that I want?"

            "Are you doing this to get back at me?" Duo asked, keeping his voice as grave as possible.

            "No, I am doing this because if I have to sit here while you are at the mercy of the psychopaths that make up the Organization, then I will go insane.  At least this way I can get to you in short notice if things get out of hand."  Trowa caught the change of expression on Duo's face and quickly continued, "Don't think for one second that I am going to let my feelings for you jeopardize this mission.  However, if things get to the point that we are ordered to abort I want to make sure you get out of there alive."

            "I can take care of myself."

            Trowa was using every bit of his self discipline to keep his temper in check, he was never good at describing how he felt, and he wasn't exactly equipped to be dealing with this kind of aggravation on such a small amount of sleep.  "I know you can take care of yourself you idiot!"  Trowa got up from his chair and stalked over to the sofa.  Duo leaned back, and Trowa put a hand on either side of him, pinning him in place with his stare.  "If you think that I am doing this for your sake, you are wrong.  I am doing this for me.  For once in my life I am doing something for my own selfish desire.  I've been watching you for a long time Duo, long enough to know that there are times when you completely disregard all thoughts of safety, there are times when you take unnecessary risks…"

            "Look Trowa, if you are worried that I am going to endanger the men…"

            "Damn it Duo I'm not talking about the men! How the hell do I get this through to you?"  Trowa took a breath to get himself back under control and continued, "Fine, I'll make this as clear as I can.  You wanted to know what you could offer me?  You.  That's what I want.  But I want you without the chains of your past… whether they be memories of Heero or the damn Organization.  That means we do this mission, and we do it well.  After that your mine, to hell with what anyone thinks or says, and that includes you." Trowa kept his gaze on Duo steady as he waited for him to speak.

            Duo, for his part, had completely lost his serious look and instead had an expression of shock on his face.  He finally knew what those animals felt like when they stood frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car.  He had known that he would have to push Trowa to get him to reveal his motivation for volunteering for the job, but he hadn't expected the kind of answer that he got.  He struggled for words, "You…you…" he stammered and then stopped.  He broke eye-contact with Trowa and made for the door to the apartment.  He wasn't too surprised when Trowa grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

            "Where are you going?"

            "I…I need to think."

            "I thought that you wanted to talk about this."

            "I did…but…"

            "Oh I get it.  You thought that you were just a fling to me, something light.  Really Duo, out of the two of us I didn't think that you would be the one repressing their feelings."

            "But I don't know what I feel!"  Duo winced at how pathetic his voice sounded. 

            "Yes, you do.  You feel the same way that I do, but you're running away from it.  I'm not going to let you do that.  I'm in your life, whether you like it or not.  You've already seen that I can find you no matter how well you've hidden yourself.  I think you should just admit that you've met your match."

            "Damn, when did you get so arrogant?  You're starting to sound like…"

            "You?"

            "Bastard." Duo stated coldly even though a faint smile betrayed the insult.

            Trowa let a small chuckle escape him before continuing, "All right look, I'll let you escape this conversation for now…even though you started it.  But, I have a condition."

            Duo looked at him suspiciously, "Which is…?"

            "You stay here with me until I leave for my part of the mission."

            "Sure…but only because that's probably only a few hours away, and considering how tired you look, I'm willing to bet you'll sleep all of that time away."

            "Whatever you want to believe," Trowa said with a devilish grin on his face, "Come on." he tugged Duo's wrist and led him towards Wufei's ex-bedroom.  Once they were in Trowa looked the room over, before sitting down on Duo's bed and taking off his shoes nonchalantly. "You cleaned," he stated matter-of-factly.

            "Um, yeah, well…" Duo shook his head at himself.  Since when couldn't he form a sentence?  So what if Trowa was on his bed?  So what if he probably had more than sleep on his mind? He, Duo Maxwell, could handle anything, whether it be mobile dolls or Trowa Barton taking off his shirt…Duo quickly looked away from Trowa.  All right, maybe there were some things that he couldn't handle.

            "Something wrong Duo?"  Trowa asked absently as he pulled the sheets down and lay down on the bed.  He couldn't remember the last time he had been so tired.

            "No, of course not," Duo answered a little too quickly.   He looked back at Trowa who was already half asleep on the bed.  Trowa looked unbelievably sexy sprawled out on the bed, abandoning himself to sleep.  Duo sat down on a fold-out chair that was in the room and looked around for a book to read.  Wufei was thankfully never without at least a few stacks of books.  He was about to start one when Trowa's sleepy voice stopped him.

            "What are you doing?"

            "Reading."

            "Aren't you tired?"

            Duo swallowed, his throat suddenly tight, he knew where this was going.

            "C'mere."  Trowa murmured.

            "I don't know if…"

            "Are you coming, or do I have to get you?" 

           Duo laughed despite himself.  It was impressive that even though he was half asleep, Trowa could still deliver a threat.

            "You win."  He said as he set the book aside and made his way to lie down beside Trowa. He noticed how tense he had become since his conversation with Trowa and began mentally forcing himself to relax.  He glanced beside him and saw that Trowa was watching him through a half-closed eyelid.  Duo grumbled a curse and turned on his side away from facing him.  Then, almost let out a yelp when strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him back into a tight embrace. 

            "That's better." Trowa whispered in his ear.

            Duo tried to think of some smart-ass remark that he could make, but found himself relaxing into Trowa's arms and following him into sleep before he could form it.

            He slowly began to wake up from what had been one of the better naps of his life. He hadn't dreamed of anything, not about the past, nor the future.  He knew that soon the awareness would come, that the grogginess of sleep would leave and he would again have to deal with the fact that he was a killer, and that he would have to kill again.  The thought always hit him like a bullet. When it did he would often laugh ruefully, because for a moment between being asleep and being awake he had thought himself a normal person.  At the moment, all he wanted was to escape reality for just a little while longer, to find some sanctuary in a few more minutes of sleep.  He rolled over, but immediately came into contact with something hard.  For a minute he thought he had slammed into the wall that surrounded two sides of his bed at his little apartment.  He started to push off the wall to roll away from it, but it groaned.

            Duo's eyes snapped open, "Walls don't groan!" he exclaimed.  He immediately blushed when he saw Trowa looking at him with a bemused smirk on his face.

            "Y'know Duo, I've seen some people wake up before, but you definitely put an interesting spin on it."

            "I aim to please," Duo was secretly impressed at his ability to be a smart-ass even in the most awkward situations.

            "Yeah well you failed. Is it supposed to please me that even though I am sleeping next to you, the wall is the chosen subject of your dreams?"

            "I wasn't dreaming about the wall!"

            Trowa's smirk turned into what was a full-fledged shit-eating grin in Duo's book, "So, then you were dreaming about me?"

            Duo groaned, "I should've stuck with the wall."

            Trowa's voice lowered to a tone that Duo knew meant trouble for his body, one way or another.  "Let's see if I can't change your mind."

            Duo felt his body tense in anticipation, he was almost afraid to breathe as Trowa moved over him.  Trowa bent his head down and brushed his lips against Duo's.  "Relax," he whispered before meeting Duo's lips again and deepening the kiss.  Duo was becoming familiar with the sensation of losing control of his body, and he knew that this was well on its way to becoming one of those occasions.   He broke the kiss.

            "Trowa, I thought we were going to wait until this was over."

            "I thought so too," Trowa murmured as he began lifting up Duo's t-shirt and running his hands over the newly exposed skin, "I guess I overestimated my self-control."

            Duo reached down and stilled Trowa's hand, causing him to look up questioningly, "Look, Trowa I've never done this before…" he began, but Trowa stopped his speech with another long kiss.

            "We don't have to if you don't want to.  We should wait until you're ready.  I'm not going to lie, it is probably going to hurt either way, but it will hurt a lot more if you are tense." He began moving his hands down Duo's abdomen as he continued, "Besides, there are other things that we can do for now…if that's all right with you." 

            [A wave of pleasure shot between Duo's legs and intensified to the point of pain as Trowa took his time unbuckling his jeans.   All thoughts of answering him went out of his mind as Trowa held his gaze while sliding off his pants.  "I'll take your silence as a yes all right?"

            After what seemed like an eternity, Trowa had finished stripping him of his clothing.  Duo realized that he had hardly moved at all the entire time that Trowa had been doing it.  He didn't want him to think that he didn't want this…but damned if he had any idea about what to do.  Trowa stared down at him, his eyes had darkened, and he looked as if he was drinking the sight in.  Finally, Duo's self-consciousness got the better of him, and he decided to take action.  Hesitatingly, he reached up and pulled Trowa's head down for a deep kiss.  This time Trowa broke the kiss in order to moan as Duo's hands began to undo his pants.  He lifted his head back up to look at Duo, who was completely focused on the job of taking off his pants.  Duo finally snorted in impatience, and Trowa finished the job for him, getting up to remove his pants completely before returning to the bed.

            He moved back over Duo, and felt arms reach lightly around his torso.  He took yet another moment to hover over him and appreciate the view.  "Trowa, are you going to stare at me all day or are we going to…"

            He didn't have time to finish his sentence before Trowa lowered himself down and captured his lips into a demanding kiss.  He worked Duo's mouth as he brought his hand down to wrap around the smaller boy's shaft, immediately eliciting a groan from him. He moved his kiss to Duo's neck as his hand began to move up and down in a pumping motion. Duo felt himself breaking out into a sweat, and found that he couldn't formulate a thought in his head expect for that he had never felt this good, and that Trowa was the one making it happen.   Duo's face contorted as he tried to keep control of his body, which he felt aching for release.  He bit his lip to keep from calling out as he felt himself reaching his climax, "Trowa…" he moaned.

            "Don't fight it, it's all right." Trowa said as he continuing the rhythmic motion with his hand.

            Duo cried out as his orgasm hit, shaking his body with its force.  He clung to Trowa as he waited for the overwhelming feeling to subside.  "Pretty good huh?"  Trowa murmured in his ear. 

            "I….that was…holy shit…"Duo stammered.

            "Thanks for the complement."

            Duo finally caught his breathe and felt somewhat capable of conscious thought again.  He looked over at Trowa, who was propped up on one elbow, smiling down at him.  "What about you?"  He asked.

            "Don't worry about it, you don't have to…"  Duo cut him off by suddenly reaching up and pushing him down on the bed, and crawling on top of him, straddling his thighs.

            "Oh no, don't think you are getting off that easily." Duo said as he leaned down and gave Trowa a savage kiss before slowly trailing it down his neck.  Trowa couldn't help but chuckle, that is, until he felt Duo began to kiss his way down his stomach.  He shuddered with desire, but his concern got the best of him.

            "Duo you don't have to…are you sure?"

            Duo answered Trowa by taking part of his length into his mouth.  He didn't lie about it being his first time, but he had heard enough around the lockeroom at school to know the basic technique.  He just hoped that his former classmates hadn't been completely full of shit.   He decided that he must be doing pretty well when he heard the groans that were coming out of Trowa's mouth.  He tried to take as much of Trowa's length in as he could, but his gagging reflex stopped him. Suddenly, he felt Trowa's hands on the back of his head and he stiffened.  But instead of Trowa pushing his head down, he guided it up, "Don't take more than you can Duo, just use your hand on the rest."

            Duo felt an instant wave of gratitude to Trowa.  When he was being pleasured he couldn't even form a sentence, and yet Trowa was able to express concern for him.  He took Trowa's advice and then increased his tempo.  He heard Trowa's breathing accelerate and felt the tensing of his stomach under his free hand.  The last thing he heard Trowa say before he spilled his seed into his mouth was his name.  He sat up on the bed and wiped off his mouth, and saw that Trowa was still catching his breathe and had a slight sheen of sweat on his skin.  His eyes were closed and his face relaxed, he looked completely at peace.  "God, you're beautiful."  Duo whispered, and was immediately embarrassed.  He didn't think guys were supposed to be beautiful, but for the life of him, he couldn't think of another word to describe Trowa at that moment.

            Trowa opened his eyes, "Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you just a second ago."  He opened his arms to Duo, "Come here."]

            Duo settled into Trowa's embrace and nuzzled his neck, "So, was that all right?"

            "That was more than all right, but I think I might need another nap now." Trowa said lazily as he tightened his arms around him.  Duo mumbled his agreement and within a few moments dozed off. 

            When Duo woke up again, he saw Trowa standing next to bed, seemingly freshly showered and clothed in a T-shirt and jeans. 

            "You work fast." Duo mumbled, still feeling the lingering effects of sleep. 

            "Always."

            "Well now I feel like a slob."

            "Hmm, and I was just thinking how irresistible you look right now."

            Duo smiled lazily and stretched out his arms, "Great, then stop resisting."

            Trowa laughed and moved to lie down next to Duo again and pulled him into his arms. 

            "Hey Tro, Can I ask you something real quick?"

            "Mmm?" 

            "When was it exactly that you decided to fall for me and turn my life into a big complicated mess? I mean, not that I am complaining or anything…"

            Trowa slowly shifted his embrace so that he could look down at Duo, "I didn't decide, and believe me; once I figured out that I had feelings for you I did everything in my power to forget about it."

            "Why?"

            "Because I knew I didn't have a chance as long as you had feelings for Heero.   Maybe you would have given me a chance because I was convenient, but as long as you wanted him I would be second.  That's why I waited to tell you, because I won't be second to anyone."

            "How long have you waited?"

            "Since I figured out that I wanted you?  It was somewhere around….three years, four months, and six days."

            "You've got to be kidding."

            "What can I say?  I am a patient guy."

            "This coming from the guy who just told be that he overestimated his self-control, and couldn't wait five minutes, let alone a few days."

            "Oh so you're going to be holding that over my head from now on?"  Trowa smiled slightly and bent down to give Duo a quick, gentle kiss.  Then, he eased away slightly saying, "All right then, set a good example for me, try keeping your hands off me and we'll see how long you last."

            Duo immediately grabbed the back of Trowa's neck and pulled him down for a fierce kiss, when he finally broke it he asked, "How long was that?"

            "About half a second"

            "It felt longer."

            "Well…"  Trowa started as he began to get off the bed, "It's going to have to last you for at least three days, and I have to start studying those poorly drawn maps of yours."

            Duo sighed as he slowly sat up on the bed "This is just my luck," he shook his head, "What if I'm sending you to your death?  What is the maps are wrong, or if something changed…what if something goes wrong?"

            Trowa turned on Duo and grabbed his shoulders; his eyes were suddenly cold as he said harshly, "I don't want to hear that kind of crap from you.  You did those maps to the best of your ability right?" Duo nodded, "Then that is it.  Whatever happens, happens.  And whatever does happen I want you to remember that it's not your fault.  I am doing this of my own free will so that you and I can live the rest of our days out in some kind of peace. This way we won't have to spend our time hiding from the monsters in our past, we can have somewhat normal lives.  That's what you want too right?"

            Duo met his eyes, "Yeah…yeah it is."  He shook his head and forced himself to grin, "Well since you put it that way, get the hell out of here and get to work."  He playfully shoved Trowa towards the door. 

            Trowa grabbed his hand and gave him one last kiss, before heading for the door.  He opened it up and was about to leave when he hesitated for and instant, he turned around and looked at Duo on the bed, "Don't look at me like that," Duo said.

            "Like what?"

            "Like you are never going to see me again. You will, because I am going to get us out of this alive."

            "Trowa, I…"

            "You don't have to say anything right now; I already know what you're feeling… I feel it too."  Trowa turned back toward the door, "I love you," he said in a faint voice before quickly walking out of the room, a few seconds later Duo heard the door to the apartment open and shut.  Only then did he dare release the breath that he had been holding.  Trowa had found the words that he was looking for before he had.  However, as soon as he heard them he knew that the next time they met…if there was a next time…he wouldn't let his words fail him again.

            Duo smirked, he was becoming sentimental, just like…a normal person.  He laughed out loud as he went into the bathroom for a quick shower. 

Next Chapter is on its way.  Thanks for reading and review if you get the chance. 

Retep