Who Will Rescue the Rescuers?

"This way!" Remy told Kurt who had teleported him into the mansion. "Rogue! We're coming! We're…Rogue?" He was surprised when he saw Rogue standing there with Belladonna.

"Hello sweetheart," Belladonna slurred. "How's tricks?"

"Rogue it's okay! I'm here now!" Remy ran up to her."

"Oh isn't that sweet? YOU JERK!" Rogue punched him, sending him flying into a wall.

"Oh that's gotta hurt…" Kurt winced.

"Good shot," Belladonna clapped.

"Do you really want him back?" Rogue asked Belladonna.

She looked at Remy on the floor. "He's all yours," She scoffed.

"Uh what just happened here?" Kurt asked. He smelled Rogue's breath. "Are you drunk?"

"I may have had a little drinkie…" Rogue hiccuped. "But only to be hospitit-able…hostpit-alible…hoss…just to be nice."

"Yeah it's her birthday," Belladonna took a swig out of the bottle. "Lighten up!"

"What did you do to her?" Kurt yelled at Belladonna.

"Aw shaddap Kurt," Rogue snapped. "Leave her alone. She was just showing me a good time. Unlike you Mr. I'm Nuts And I Have To Spy On My Sister And Try To Control Her Life Because My Own Is Pathetic…"

"Rogue…" Remy staggered up. "Ow…Why did you hit me?"

"Uh…cause you're you?" Belladonna snapped. She staggered up to Remy. "Listen here cowboy…hic…You ain't gonna screw up with her like you did me! Got it!"

"Yeah the least you could have done is called the girl here!" Rogue snapped. "Do you know how worried she was when you left?"

"Trash!" Belladonna snarled. "You treat women like trash…Rogue deserves better than that!"

"Why didn't you call Belladonna?" Rogue slurred. "Would it be so difficult to at least send a postcard? Oh no wait, that would have required some thought!"

"But Remy…" Remy began.

"Why didn't you at least give her a choice to run off with you?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah!" Belladonna snapped. "I wouldn't have gone but a girl likes to be asked. Instead you had to be selfish!"

"Selfish! Selfish! Selfish!" Rogue poked her finger into his chest.

"Let's have some fun with him," Belladonna hiccuped. "Let's ride him around the room like a cowboy!"

"Giddy-yap!" Rogue laughed.

"I'll get the saddle!" Belladonna shouted.

"Okay…" Kurt teleported between the girls and Remy. "Obviously the two of you are upset and not quite thinking clearly…."

"Oh god I hate it when he does that!" Rogue waved away the brimstone smell with her hand.

"Does he do that all the time?" Belladonna asked her. "That is incredibly annoying!"

"Tell me about it!" Rogue said.

"Now Rogue…" Kurt started to restrain her but had no luck. "Rogue…ROGUE! LET ME GO! AGGGGH!"

Soon the others had fought their way into the mansion. "Everybody spread out!" Scott ordered. "Rogue has to be here…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! ROGUE! NOOOOOO!" Remy screamed.

"Somewhere…" Scott finished. They ran to the sound and were shocked at the sight before them. "Oh…my…God…"

"YEEHAAAAH!" Rogue was juggling Remy in the air. "I could do this all night!"

"CHERE! STOP! REMY IS GETTING DIZZY!" Remy screamed.

"Horsey! Horsey! Horsey!" Belladonna laughed as she clung to Kurt by the tail. "Play Horsey with me!"

"Neigh! I mean nein!" Kurt screamed in agony. "OW! THAT HURTS!"

"Well this is something unexpected…" Lance blinked.

"I forget," Todd scratched his head. "Who were we supposed to rescue again?"