Sorry about not updating this if you're still reading....i've been out of
town and just got back!
Into his arms (Chapter 8): Letting Go
Sydney looked up and directly into his eyes. She didn't fear their analytical depths anymore, but cherished them.
He used the same calm voice and asked again ever so gently, "Sydney, tell me what happened, please?"
She nodded and slowly with a wavering voice began to talk.
"I don't know exactly what happened at first. I wa..I was driving home, and I was distracted so I guess I wasn't aware someone was tailing me. I was so stupid."
He countered her quickly, "That's not stupid Syd, you couldn't have known. Why were you distracted?"
She looked away before answering staring intently at the floor not wanting to meet his gaze, "I was thinking...of you..."
Once he heard this his heart began to pound, and somehow he now felt responsible for all of her pain.
"Syd, why were you thinking about me?" he inquired tenderly
"I, I was thinking about what used to be. Vaughn I know it sounds pathetic, but that's all I've been doing since I've come back. I go home at night and all I try to do is convince myself I'm two years in the past, not where we are today." She choked out not daring to look in his direction.
With this confession his heart nearly burst. Knowing that he caused her pain killed him, and all he wanted to do was to fix it. So he was going to try his best to do that, but not right now.
"Then what happened, Syd?" he asked as gently as ever.
"I don't know much after that. I know a bullet came through my back windshield, and then I think I swerved. Then I think I started spinning but that's all I remember from that point." she answered shyly.
Vaughn nodded before he continued, "And what happened when you woke up?"
He noticed she began to look pained even as he asked her this, but she answered quickly.
"When I woke up I was tied to a chair in a cell. It wasn't big I could tell that much, and it was pretty dark. I heard someone coming, but was unsure of whom it was. And then he walked in with that same smug looking smirk." She finished now clearly in distaste.
"Sark?" he interjected slowly.
She nodded clearly in some pain.
"He said he wanted to talk with me, but all he wanted to talk about was me. About my life since I've been back from my missing time. He could tell it unnerved me I guess, and then he left I don't remember for how long. But he came back and he kept asking me the same question Vaughn. It was tearing me up inside. I tried so hard to not let him see it, I really did." She again looked as far from him as she could as she finished.
He turned her to face him and although he was afraid to ask, he did anyway, "What was he asking Sydney?"
Her eyes flashed with tears and she answered in the softest voice he had heard her use, "He kept asking if I missed you, if I missed what we used to have. And I wouldn't answer him so he hit me twice I think. And it hurt so much I passed out again," she looked away before she said, "I feel so weak, I'm sorry."
He swallowed the lump growing in his throat and said, "Sydney don't apologize to me. You are the strongest person I know. Do you want to keep going? We can stop if you want."
She shook her head and said, "No I want to get this out now all at once..."
He leaned forward and gripped her hand within his, "Okay Sydney, we'll go at your pace. If you want to stop we can, just let me know." She nodded so he continued, "What happened next?"
"I, he came back. I tried to mock him, to put up a guard, but he stifled me by choking me a little. He kept saying he could kill me if he wanted to, that he would hurt me if he chose to do so."
Vaughn traced soothing circles on the back of her hand as he looked at her; she really was the strongest person he knew.
Sydney shuddered in disgust as she continued, "Then, Vaughn he, told me that you had no idea I was gone. That even if you did you wouldn't care, and god I believed it. I kept trying to argue and downplay what he was saying, but he was right. You had always deserved better then me, and who had I been to hold you back?"
"Syd.." he started before he was cut off.
"Vaughn let me just get this all out now, please?" she pleaded.
He nodded and she continued, "I don't know what came over him, but he got mad, really mad. He took out some knife and placed it on my forearm. He said something about wanting to form a friendship, but that he now saw it as a lost cause. He then pushed the blade into me, Vaughn it hurt so much, but I could tell he wanted me to cry out so I didn't. I needed that victory for my sanity. There was so much blood and all I could think about was you, how I had failed you. And then I passed out again, I was so weak"
She cut him off with a look before he even could start his argument.
"I don't really know if what happened next was an illusion or what. Some guard came in and untied me. He said he had orders from my mother to move me but I was saying I didn't want to come back and hurt you anymore. And then somehow he shot me with a tranq dart I think, and I was out cold again." She finished sounding just as confused as he now felt.
He was barely keeping up with what she was saying, but he feared the worst was yet to come.
"And I woke up and I was tied to the wall, the chains more restricting then ever. And all of the sudden Sark was back," she turned away yet again scared to explain to Vaughn what had then happened.
"Sydney?" he questioned softly.
"I, Vaughn he came across the room after I had asked him what he came for and said 'this'. Then he kissed me Vaughn. He did it roughly, and I was scared that he wasn't going to stop with that. I bit his tongue that he had forced into my mouth and he backed up. I asked him what it was about and I remember so clearly what he said. He said he had wanted me for so long that now that he had me he couldn't control himself."
Vaughn felt the anger rising within him. All he wanted to do now was to cause Sark pain for violating Sydney like he had, but he had to focus on Sydney first.
"He...He didn't do anything else, did he?" the question came out weakly as if he was afraid to hear the answer.
"Not what you are thinking, Vaughn," she said noticing he seemed worried, "he ran his hand up my arm, tried to caress my face. He wanted reactions, even involuntary ones. But all of the sudden he changed. He..He said he guessed it was true that I still loved you..and that he could show me more,"
She choked out a small sob before she finished, "Vaughn, before he left, he said it was a pity.." she was openly crying again and Vaughn felt the need to guide her back to the topic at hand. "What was a pity Syd?" he asked her
"He said...that it was a pity that the man I loved would never be able to say he loved me too." With that Sydney was sobbing again pushing herself into the pillow.
Vaughn's heart finally did burst for the woman he knew that he truly still did love.
He knew he had to do something before it was to late....
Into his arms (Chapter 8): Letting Go
Sydney looked up and directly into his eyes. She didn't fear their analytical depths anymore, but cherished them.
He used the same calm voice and asked again ever so gently, "Sydney, tell me what happened, please?"
She nodded and slowly with a wavering voice began to talk.
"I don't know exactly what happened at first. I wa..I was driving home, and I was distracted so I guess I wasn't aware someone was tailing me. I was so stupid."
He countered her quickly, "That's not stupid Syd, you couldn't have known. Why were you distracted?"
She looked away before answering staring intently at the floor not wanting to meet his gaze, "I was thinking...of you..."
Once he heard this his heart began to pound, and somehow he now felt responsible for all of her pain.
"Syd, why were you thinking about me?" he inquired tenderly
"I, I was thinking about what used to be. Vaughn I know it sounds pathetic, but that's all I've been doing since I've come back. I go home at night and all I try to do is convince myself I'm two years in the past, not where we are today." She choked out not daring to look in his direction.
With this confession his heart nearly burst. Knowing that he caused her pain killed him, and all he wanted to do was to fix it. So he was going to try his best to do that, but not right now.
"Then what happened, Syd?" he asked as gently as ever.
"I don't know much after that. I know a bullet came through my back windshield, and then I think I swerved. Then I think I started spinning but that's all I remember from that point." she answered shyly.
Vaughn nodded before he continued, "And what happened when you woke up?"
He noticed she began to look pained even as he asked her this, but she answered quickly.
"When I woke up I was tied to a chair in a cell. It wasn't big I could tell that much, and it was pretty dark. I heard someone coming, but was unsure of whom it was. And then he walked in with that same smug looking smirk." She finished now clearly in distaste.
"Sark?" he interjected slowly.
She nodded clearly in some pain.
"He said he wanted to talk with me, but all he wanted to talk about was me. About my life since I've been back from my missing time. He could tell it unnerved me I guess, and then he left I don't remember for how long. But he came back and he kept asking me the same question Vaughn. It was tearing me up inside. I tried so hard to not let him see it, I really did." She again looked as far from him as she could as she finished.
He turned her to face him and although he was afraid to ask, he did anyway, "What was he asking Sydney?"
Her eyes flashed with tears and she answered in the softest voice he had heard her use, "He kept asking if I missed you, if I missed what we used to have. And I wouldn't answer him so he hit me twice I think. And it hurt so much I passed out again," she looked away before she said, "I feel so weak, I'm sorry."
He swallowed the lump growing in his throat and said, "Sydney don't apologize to me. You are the strongest person I know. Do you want to keep going? We can stop if you want."
She shook her head and said, "No I want to get this out now all at once..."
He leaned forward and gripped her hand within his, "Okay Sydney, we'll go at your pace. If you want to stop we can, just let me know." She nodded so he continued, "What happened next?"
"I, he came back. I tried to mock him, to put up a guard, but he stifled me by choking me a little. He kept saying he could kill me if he wanted to, that he would hurt me if he chose to do so."
Vaughn traced soothing circles on the back of her hand as he looked at her; she really was the strongest person he knew.
Sydney shuddered in disgust as she continued, "Then, Vaughn he, told me that you had no idea I was gone. That even if you did you wouldn't care, and god I believed it. I kept trying to argue and downplay what he was saying, but he was right. You had always deserved better then me, and who had I been to hold you back?"
"Syd.." he started before he was cut off.
"Vaughn let me just get this all out now, please?" she pleaded.
He nodded and she continued, "I don't know what came over him, but he got mad, really mad. He took out some knife and placed it on my forearm. He said something about wanting to form a friendship, but that he now saw it as a lost cause. He then pushed the blade into me, Vaughn it hurt so much, but I could tell he wanted me to cry out so I didn't. I needed that victory for my sanity. There was so much blood and all I could think about was you, how I had failed you. And then I passed out again, I was so weak"
She cut him off with a look before he even could start his argument.
"I don't really know if what happened next was an illusion or what. Some guard came in and untied me. He said he had orders from my mother to move me but I was saying I didn't want to come back and hurt you anymore. And then somehow he shot me with a tranq dart I think, and I was out cold again." She finished sounding just as confused as he now felt.
He was barely keeping up with what she was saying, but he feared the worst was yet to come.
"And I woke up and I was tied to the wall, the chains more restricting then ever. And all of the sudden Sark was back," she turned away yet again scared to explain to Vaughn what had then happened.
"Sydney?" he questioned softly.
"I, Vaughn he came across the room after I had asked him what he came for and said 'this'. Then he kissed me Vaughn. He did it roughly, and I was scared that he wasn't going to stop with that. I bit his tongue that he had forced into my mouth and he backed up. I asked him what it was about and I remember so clearly what he said. He said he had wanted me for so long that now that he had me he couldn't control himself."
Vaughn felt the anger rising within him. All he wanted to do now was to cause Sark pain for violating Sydney like he had, but he had to focus on Sydney first.
"He...He didn't do anything else, did he?" the question came out weakly as if he was afraid to hear the answer.
"Not what you are thinking, Vaughn," she said noticing he seemed worried, "he ran his hand up my arm, tried to caress my face. He wanted reactions, even involuntary ones. But all of the sudden he changed. He..He said he guessed it was true that I still loved you..and that he could show me more,"
She choked out a small sob before she finished, "Vaughn, before he left, he said it was a pity.." she was openly crying again and Vaughn felt the need to guide her back to the topic at hand. "What was a pity Syd?" he asked her
"He said...that it was a pity that the man I loved would never be able to say he loved me too." With that Sydney was sobbing again pushing herself into the pillow.
Vaughn's heart finally did burst for the woman he knew that he truly still did love.
He knew he had to do something before it was to late....