A/N: Well, now that we've all decided to go through the Gap of Rohan...
Aragorn = Boromir
Boromir = Aragorn
Frodo = Gimli
Gandalf = Pippin
Gimli = Sam
Legolas = Frodo
Merry = Merry
Pippin = Legolas
Sam = Gandalf
Chapter Six: The Gap of Rohan-Not an Actual Store
"Oh my God! The Gap of Rohan! I can get that belt and the mini-skirt for my girlfriend!" Legolas says.
"Thank heavens. I though he wanted to buy the skirt for himself." Boromir says.
"Well, my girlfriend doesn't exist. I really want that skirt..." Legolas says.
"AAH!" All the others scream.
"What?"
"Legolas don't talk without knowing what you're saying." Aragorn says.
"Fine, Boromir of Gondor, who thinks he's better than everyone else!" Legolas says.
"Hey, maybe I am!" Aragorn replies.
"Yeah, maybe he is!" Boromir says.
"Well, you know what? This fellowship sucks." Legolas says.
"Legolas Greenleaf Frodo Baggins!" Boromir gasps.
"Hey, it's true."
"Is not!" Aragorn says.
"Look, this Gap of Rohan business is horrid." Frodo complains.
"I'm tired. Can't shoot bow. Need refueling..." Pippin moans.
"Uh, Elves don't feel tired." Legolas points out.
"Well, that bites." Pip says.
"Can't we just go through the mines?" Gimli asks.
"Look, we left this up to the Ringbearer, and the Ringbearer says go through the Gap. Plus, then we can go through Minas Tirith and re-supply and head into Mordor with a force behind us!" Sam says.
"Yeah, but the Gap leads us too close to Isengard!" Boromir says.
"Fine. Ringbearer, should we continue towards the Gap?"
"I need that pair of jeans..." Legolas whines.
"You idiot! The Gap of Rohan isn't a Gap Store! It's a natural land formation!" Boromir says.
"So, you lead us this way all for nothing?" Merry asks.
"I guess I did." Legolas says.
"Fool of an Elf!" Sam says.
"I'm sorry, my best friend Hobbit-Wizard! Forgive me!" Legolas says.
"Well, it's a little too late. We've been going this way for hours." Sam says.
"We should just leave him here." Gimli says.
"That would kill him!" Pippin says in amazement.
"Yeah? So?" Gimli asks, with an evil glint in his eyes.
"We can't kill anyone! That's why Eru invented Orcs!" Pippin says.
"Whoa."
"Yeah. We might as well just turn around and go through the mines."
"Yeah. The pass south is being watched, anyway." Legolas says.
"By who?"
"Those crebain." Pip says.
"How'd you know that?"
"I guessed."
"Really, Pip, how?"
"Madame Cleo looked in my tea leaves and told me." Pip says.
"Madame Cleo?"
"Yes."
"Fool of a Took!" Sam says, grinning broadly.
"Why are you smiling?"
"I always wanted to say that."
"Oh, ok."
"Look, we best turn around and move towards the mines." Legolas says sadly.
"Fine. Let's turn around."
And so, after saying that sentence multiple times, they turn around and head towards The Mines Of Moria.
A/N: Yes, another chapter done. This one seemed short, but that's just me. Look for more soon. I'm sorry for lack of humor, but I'm brainfried. I've been writing too hard to appease the masses. But, here I am struggling at this computer to please you. Feel my pain and review!
Aragorn = Boromir
Boromir = Aragorn
Frodo = Gimli
Gandalf = Pippin
Gimli = Sam
Legolas = Frodo
Merry = Merry
Pippin = Legolas
Sam = Gandalf
Chapter Six: The Gap of Rohan-Not an Actual Store
"Oh my God! The Gap of Rohan! I can get that belt and the mini-skirt for my girlfriend!" Legolas says.
"Thank heavens. I though he wanted to buy the skirt for himself." Boromir says.
"Well, my girlfriend doesn't exist. I really want that skirt..." Legolas says.
"AAH!" All the others scream.
"What?"
"Legolas don't talk without knowing what you're saying." Aragorn says.
"Fine, Boromir of Gondor, who thinks he's better than everyone else!" Legolas says.
"Hey, maybe I am!" Aragorn replies.
"Yeah, maybe he is!" Boromir says.
"Well, you know what? This fellowship sucks." Legolas says.
"Legolas Greenleaf Frodo Baggins!" Boromir gasps.
"Hey, it's true."
"Is not!" Aragorn says.
"Look, this Gap of Rohan business is horrid." Frodo complains.
"I'm tired. Can't shoot bow. Need refueling..." Pippin moans.
"Uh, Elves don't feel tired." Legolas points out.
"Well, that bites." Pip says.
"Can't we just go through the mines?" Gimli asks.
"Look, we left this up to the Ringbearer, and the Ringbearer says go through the Gap. Plus, then we can go through Minas Tirith and re-supply and head into Mordor with a force behind us!" Sam says.
"Yeah, but the Gap leads us too close to Isengard!" Boromir says.
"Fine. Ringbearer, should we continue towards the Gap?"
"I need that pair of jeans..." Legolas whines.
"You idiot! The Gap of Rohan isn't a Gap Store! It's a natural land formation!" Boromir says.
"So, you lead us this way all for nothing?" Merry asks.
"I guess I did." Legolas says.
"Fool of an Elf!" Sam says.
"I'm sorry, my best friend Hobbit-Wizard! Forgive me!" Legolas says.
"Well, it's a little too late. We've been going this way for hours." Sam says.
"We should just leave him here." Gimli says.
"That would kill him!" Pippin says in amazement.
"Yeah? So?" Gimli asks, with an evil glint in his eyes.
"We can't kill anyone! That's why Eru invented Orcs!" Pippin says.
"Whoa."
"Yeah. We might as well just turn around and go through the mines."
"Yeah. The pass south is being watched, anyway." Legolas says.
"By who?"
"Those crebain." Pip says.
"How'd you know that?"
"I guessed."
"Really, Pip, how?"
"Madame Cleo looked in my tea leaves and told me." Pip says.
"Madame Cleo?"
"Yes."
"Fool of a Took!" Sam says, grinning broadly.
"Why are you smiling?"
"I always wanted to say that."
"Oh, ok."
"Look, we best turn around and move towards the mines." Legolas says sadly.
"Fine. Let's turn around."
And so, after saying that sentence multiple times, they turn around and head towards The Mines Of Moria.
A/N: Yes, another chapter done. This one seemed short, but that's just me. Look for more soon. I'm sorry for lack of humor, but I'm brainfried. I've been writing too hard to appease the masses. But, here I am struggling at this computer to please you. Feel my pain and review!