Chapter Nine

I wake up in the morning with a crook in my back. It's early and I'm tired from sleeping on the couch all night; I should have moved to my bed, but I had no energy to do so. I get up from the couch slowly, my back hurting like hell as I walk up the stairs to Jakes room to wake him up for camp. I can't help but think about how close I was to John last night, it felt so right. I don't remember so much, but I think that I was sleeping in his arms for a while until he left. A part of me wishes that he would have stayed, but I know that he was trying to be a gentleman. I don't know what I would have done if he did stay, what it would have been like to wake up with him in the morning on the couch. I probably would have been embarrassed for falling asleep. I like him though, I really do, and I don't want to be scared of that. I feel safe with him, I know that I can trust him, not to mention that I am highly attracted to him as well. I want so badly to show him how much I like him, but I know that I have to work everything out with my divorce first. For a while I had some doubts about the decision that I made, but right now I feel okay about it. I don't ever want to be with Trent again, which is going to make his birthday party on Sunday a little bit of a challenge since him and John will both be there.

I walk into the hospital feeling nervous and anxious to see John. I need to look at his face. I want to hug him and be close to him again, I just need a little extra reassurance and support from him right now. I walk into the lounge, casually looking for him, wondering when his shift is today. I can't seem to find him and I have a couple of minutes until my shift starts so I make my way up to OB to visit Susan and Sophie. I walk down the halls looking into the window of the nursery at all the newborn babies. I smile to myself; I think I understand what John was talking about the other night. He said that once I decided to move on, I would have hope. Looking at these babies, I finally understand what he meant. I am leaving the man that I have been unhappy with for so long and there is a new hope now that I will find somebody else that will contribute to making me happy. Maybe I can even have a second child with that new person, whom ever it is. Maybe that is John. Maybe we will have a happy ending.

The halls of the hospital are quiet this time a day, except for one newborn, whose wailing has reached my ears probably from the other side of the OB floor. I look for Susan's room, turning down a hall and spotting the crying newborn in John's arms. I can't help but smile as I walk toward him, John giving me a helpless look.

"You having a hard time?" I play with him a little, taking the baby out of his arms and rocking her until she's quiet.

"Okay, so you showed me up" He playfully pinches my waist.

"Ouch!" I flirt with him as I bounce Sophie lightly in my arms. I look back at the baby and then up at John who is standing over me, watching us bond. "She's so perfect, isn't she?"

"She's beautiful" He reaches to touch Sophie's little foot, resting his other hand on the small of my back as an old lady walks up to us.

"Congratulations you too, what a beauty" She speaks in a heavy accent and all I can do is smile at her and John does as well. What's the point in telling her that she isn't ours, it's definitely nice to pretend that I have a perfect, happy family and a new baby girl. She walks away as John and I look at each other and then back down at the baby. I suddenly feel a tinge of pain in my back, the same spasm from this morning. I stretch my neck out a little and arch my back, biting my lip from the uncomfortable pain.

"What's wrong?" He asks me as he moves his hand from my lower back, probably thinking that I am moving away from him.

"My back and shoulders are really stiff. I think from sleeping on the couch last night" I put Sophie down in her basinet and grab my left shoulder with my right hand.

"Well I would have put you in your bed too, but I wasn't sure if you wanted me to" I laugh at his comment. What I really want to say is that I would have loved him to put me in bed, but I'm not going to go there with my flirting quite yet. I close my eyes trying to knead out the spasm and then I suddenly feel John's strong hands on my shoulders.

"Where does it hurt?" He whispers into my ear from behind me, almost in a sexy voice. I let my head fall down, enjoying his hands on me. I can't help but think, if he is so good at this, I wonder what else he's good at with his hands.

"Everywhere" I answer him in a moaning voice almost embarrassed in the way I said it, but not enough to so anything about it. I hear a door open and lift my head to see Chuck wheeling Susan out of her room.

"Are we interrupting anything?" Leave it to Susan to embarrass me.

"No" I say abruptly as I step away from Johns magic hands for a minute. John moves over to Sophie and picks her up, placing her in Susan's arms as I get my camera out of my bag to take a couple pictures of the new family. They look so happy, this is the real deal.

"Are you guys going to be able to make it to Jakes birthday party on Sunday?" I ask them remembering that I will need as many friends there as I can get if Trent is going to come.

"Yes, we'll be there, wont we Sophie" She looks down at the baby and smiles, playing with her tiny little fingers. We watch as Chuck wheels Susan away and then we start towards the ER.

"What time is your shift?" John asks as I look down at my watch.

"Uh, right now" Unfortunately, I would have loved to go get a cup of coffee with him and talk. "You?"

"Now too" I nod my head at him, but I'm smiling inside. I like working with him, we are a good team and it's always nice to spend your shift with somebody that you like.

"You mean I have to work with you all day" I joke around sarcastically with him and he smiles.

"I'm sorry, you're stuck with me" He raises his hands motioning at himself and flashing a goofy grin.

"So, I was so excited that I was going to get to work with you all day and I haven't seen you in like ten hours" I pour him a cup of coffee as he comes through the lounge door. I'm not in the greatest mood anymore though. I've been apprehensive all day about Jakes birthday party on Sunday. I hand John the mug and sit down next to him at the table, exhaling a big breathe.

"Uhh, I'm stressed" I lean back in the chair and let my head fall back so my hair is almost sweeping the floor.

"What are you stressed about?" I can tell he's looking at me although I can't see him, so I sit up to talk to him, the blood rushing back to my head.

"The party on Sunday. It's going to be awkward with Trent there. I almost wish that he would just do his own thing with Jake, but Jake wants him there, and I don't want to disappoint him."

"Well you don't have to hang out with him. You can hang out with me and Susan."

"I know. I just wish that I didn't have to see him." I get up from my seat and move to my locker, taking my lab coat off and pulling on my sweater. I am suddenly ready to pass out; it's been a long and hectic day, which is why I didn't see John at all. Although I want to stay and chat with him, I really have to get home to Jake.

"I'm exhausted, I'm going home. Don't forget to bring your bathing suits on Sunday"

"You're not working tomorrow?" He looks at me with a sad face; maybe he is going to miss me. I guess though that it is good that I won't see him for a day, I'll be able to put things into perspective that way.

"No, I've got the whole weekend off. Jealous?"

"Yes, I am. I'll see you on Sunday" He smiles at me as I leave the lounge, a part of me wanting to walk back in there and invite him over tonight, but I know that I shouldn't do that yet.