A/N: Ok, I'm back and still alive and not choking on my massive gum wad. Well, if you think that Sam is coming back NOW, can I tell you what happened in the movie? Look for the Sequel, coming very shortly after the next, oh, few chapters. But for now, let's read the story!! And 'It's only a grease trap, it's just like a sink! It's only a grease trap, it's just like a sink!' is from the Disney Movie Atlantis. Yeah.
Aragorn = Boromir
Boromir = Aragorn
Frodo = Gimli
Gandalf = Pippin
Gimli = Sam
Legolas = Frodo
Merry = Merry
Pippin = Legolas
Sam = Gandalf
Chapter Twelve: The Race to Lorien (Is it really a race? Does it look like I care?)
"Hurry! By nightfall these hills will be fair teeming with Orcs!" Boromir say.
"Fair teeming?"
"Fair teeming indeed, Boromir, son of Denethor." Boromir says.
"That sounded freaky."
"Ok, whatever, Boromir Aragorn, I don't care! We have to get to Lothlorien!" Boromir says, running through a stream, which is probably freezing cold.
"Can't we just rest?" Pippin the Elf whines.
"Do you think that the Orcs will wait until we've rested? They'll only kill us faster!"
"Kill us faster?"
"It's Will Turner!"
"So it is!"
And Will Turner has just walked across the screen, wearing a shirt that says, "I'm a Pirate, Not An Elf or a Trojan Prince!!!"
"That's confusing."
"Let's move on." Legolas says, running to catch up with Boromir.
"Ok, now that we're all set and ready..."
"Let's fly!"
And so they run on towards Lothlorien. With Will Turner looking very confused and following them.
"Give it up, Willy!"
And so Will Turner stopped. Well, if that's not surreal!
At the Borders of Lothlorien...
"Ok. Everyone inside! We must get to Caras...Caras...Caras Something."
"Caras Galadon?"
"I don't care what the heck it's called, we just have to get there!!" Boromir screams.
"Sir, yes, sir!"
And in they walk.
"I'm not Frodo, DANG IT!!" Frodo, who is Gimli, yells.
"What was that, Frodo?"
"Someone's talking to me! I have no evil!" Frodo yells.
"Eep! ELVES!!" Boromir says, noticing the arrow pointed at his nose.
"The hobbit yells so loud we could have shot him in the dark." Haldir says.
"So, are you taking us to Caras...Caras...Caras..." Boromir says.
"Caras Galadhon?" Haldir says.
"I DON'T CARE!!!!"
"Well, to answer that, not really. See, I don't get paid enough, and we're demonstrating outside the house of the Lord and Lady, so you'll just have to get there yourselves." Haldir explains.
"Some help you are." Boromir mutters as he leads the Fellowship onwards.
Outside Caras Galadhon...
"WE NEED MONEY!! WE WANT RAISES!! WE NEED HONEY!! POVERTY DAZES!!!" Some random elves chant.
"What? Makes no sense, they do."
"That sentence made no sense."
"Fine, Merry!" Pippin, Legolas, says.
"I didn't know they were in poverty." Legolas says.
"HEY! SHUT UP DOWN THERE!!!" Celeborn screams, tossing a pineapple at some elves, who scream and duck.
"Take this!!!" Some Elf screams, tossing a meat cart at Celeborn.
"ARGH!!!" Celeborn yells, taking one for the team in the eye.
"Celeborn! Dearest!" Galadriel says, running over to him.
"Take this, Galadriel!!" Another Elf says, tossing a produce cart at her.
"AIIIIII!!" She yells, taking one for the team (really, there's a team?) and getting whacked in the mouth. Oh, that and a nectarine hits her in her all-seeing eye.
"Look! Delegations from..." She says, pausing to remember.
"Rivendell, dearest." Celeborn says.
"I KNEW THAT!!" Galadriel screams, giving Celeborn the old one-two. Or whatever it is.
"Sorry, mighty Elf!" Celeborn says, running inside the house as a fish stand goes up in flames.
"AH! THE DELEGATIONS ARRIVED!" Galadriel says, looking at the fellowship.
And so they ended up in Lothlorien, currently thrown into a state of governmental turmoil and all around chaos.
A/N: Ah, another chapter done! So sad... Ok, next will be Farewell to Lorien and then some other majorly major stuff. And then, the sequel! Oh, isn't it exciting? Thought you'd say that. Review, please! Only about 3 more chapters until the END of part ONE!!!
Aragorn = Boromir
Boromir = Aragorn
Frodo = Gimli
Gandalf = Pippin
Gimli = Sam
Legolas = Frodo
Merry = Merry
Pippin = Legolas
Sam = Gandalf
Chapter Twelve: The Race to Lorien (Is it really a race? Does it look like I care?)
"Hurry! By nightfall these hills will be fair teeming with Orcs!" Boromir say.
"Fair teeming?"
"Fair teeming indeed, Boromir, son of Denethor." Boromir says.
"That sounded freaky."
"Ok, whatever, Boromir Aragorn, I don't care! We have to get to Lothlorien!" Boromir says, running through a stream, which is probably freezing cold.
"Can't we just rest?" Pippin the Elf whines.
"Do you think that the Orcs will wait until we've rested? They'll only kill us faster!"
"Kill us faster?"
"It's Will Turner!"
"So it is!"
And Will Turner has just walked across the screen, wearing a shirt that says, "I'm a Pirate, Not An Elf or a Trojan Prince!!!"
"That's confusing."
"Let's move on." Legolas says, running to catch up with Boromir.
"Ok, now that we're all set and ready..."
"Let's fly!"
And so they run on towards Lothlorien. With Will Turner looking very confused and following them.
"Give it up, Willy!"
And so Will Turner stopped. Well, if that's not surreal!
At the Borders of Lothlorien...
"Ok. Everyone inside! We must get to Caras...Caras...Caras Something."
"Caras Galadon?"
"I don't care what the heck it's called, we just have to get there!!" Boromir screams.
"Sir, yes, sir!"
And in they walk.
"I'm not Frodo, DANG IT!!" Frodo, who is Gimli, yells.
"What was that, Frodo?"
"Someone's talking to me! I have no evil!" Frodo yells.
"Eep! ELVES!!" Boromir says, noticing the arrow pointed at his nose.
"The hobbit yells so loud we could have shot him in the dark." Haldir says.
"So, are you taking us to Caras...Caras...Caras..." Boromir says.
"Caras Galadhon?" Haldir says.
"I DON'T CARE!!!!"
"Well, to answer that, not really. See, I don't get paid enough, and we're demonstrating outside the house of the Lord and Lady, so you'll just have to get there yourselves." Haldir explains.
"Some help you are." Boromir mutters as he leads the Fellowship onwards.
Outside Caras Galadhon...
"WE NEED MONEY!! WE WANT RAISES!! WE NEED HONEY!! POVERTY DAZES!!!" Some random elves chant.
"What? Makes no sense, they do."
"That sentence made no sense."
"Fine, Merry!" Pippin, Legolas, says.
"I didn't know they were in poverty." Legolas says.
"HEY! SHUT UP DOWN THERE!!!" Celeborn screams, tossing a pineapple at some elves, who scream and duck.
"Take this!!!" Some Elf screams, tossing a meat cart at Celeborn.
"ARGH!!!" Celeborn yells, taking one for the team in the eye.
"Celeborn! Dearest!" Galadriel says, running over to him.
"Take this, Galadriel!!" Another Elf says, tossing a produce cart at her.
"AIIIIII!!" She yells, taking one for the team (really, there's a team?) and getting whacked in the mouth. Oh, that and a nectarine hits her in her all-seeing eye.
"Look! Delegations from..." She says, pausing to remember.
"Rivendell, dearest." Celeborn says.
"I KNEW THAT!!" Galadriel screams, giving Celeborn the old one-two. Or whatever it is.
"Sorry, mighty Elf!" Celeborn says, running inside the house as a fish stand goes up in flames.
"AH! THE DELEGATIONS ARRIVED!" Galadriel says, looking at the fellowship.
And so they ended up in Lothlorien, currently thrown into a state of governmental turmoil and all around chaos.
A/N: Ah, another chapter done! So sad... Ok, next will be Farewell to Lorien and then some other majorly major stuff. And then, the sequel! Oh, isn't it exciting? Thought you'd say that. Review, please! Only about 3 more chapters until the END of part ONE!!!