A.N.  Annndddd you're beyond shocked!!   I'm so diligent right now!  I think that I dug myself into a major whole with bringing Will into everything, because no matter what I did, he always came out as such a nice guy, and I couldn't figure out how to get out of the mess that I made for myself!  But now that I did it, in a hopefully realistic and believable way, I'm excited about the rest of this story (a few more chapters I think.) 

Oh and GUESS WHAT???  My sister (not the tooth one, that's Hope, but this is Olivia) had her baby yesterday morning!!!  I have a niece!  Her name is Avery Victoria and she's about the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life and I love her so much already!  Haha.  So things are a little crazy here, since all my siblings are home (I'm the baby and used to being the only one around, hehe) but everyone's passed out from exhaustion and I'm still up so I figured I'd get this written and posted!  Hope everyone else is having an equally wonderful weekend!  Read and review! 

Oh and sorry about how freakin' long this AN is and I know you probably don't care but I seem to have an extreme case of verbal diarrhea right now!  So forgive me J

Xoxoxoxo,

Maddy

…reason to believe…

          Monica spent the rest of the weekend shut up in her room, avoiding human contact at all costs.  Okay, avoiding Chandler, and avoiding everyone else by extension.  Rachel was in and out, bringing her soup (even though she wasn't sick), begging her to talk (even though she didn't want to), and threatening to call her mother (even though they both knew she'd never.)  When her alarm went off Monday morning, Rachel sat at the edge of her bed and made sure she went to class, telling her that, "If you aren't going to tell me what happened I can't support this vegetable lifestyle of yours anymore."

          She made it through two classes and lunch without seeing her brother or Chandler, and was about to sigh in relief when she turned the corner to her dorm and saw him sitting outside on the steps.  She stopped involuntarily, stared at him for a moment, then continued towards the stairs.

          "Hey," he stood.

          "Hi," she said. 

          "I called.  Like four times," he said, unsuccessfully trying to maintain eye contact.

          "Sorry.  I didn't get the messages."  She tried to maneuver past him, but he grabbed her elbow.

          "Bullshit.  If you're going to avoid me you can at least tell me why."

          She checked her watch.  "Now's not really a great time for me Chandler," she said.

          "So when would be a better time?  Is he still here, is that it?" he asked bitterly.

          She let out a jagged breath.  "No," she said quietly.  "He left."

          "Did you have a nice weekend?" he asked, purposely provoking her.

          "No, not really," she said evenly.  "Listen I really have to go."

          She pushed past him and reached for the door.

          "Can I just ask you one thing?" he asked.  She paused, but didn't turn back.  "Did you sleep with him?" he continued.

          She whipped around and stared at him, her blue eyes flashing with an emotion he couldn't place.

          "No," she said after a few moments.

          "No, I can't ask you that, or no, you didn't sleep with him?" He knew he was pushing his luck, but he had to know.

          "Both," she muttered, staring at her feet.

          He let out a sigh of relief.  "Okay," he breathed.  "Okay."

          "Okay what?" she asked, with a ferocity he was unaccustomed to.  He took a step back.

          "No, really.  What's okay about this?  Is it okay that you were unforgivably rude to me and to someone I care about Friday night?  Is it okay that I came home to a drunken message that you left declaring your love to me while my boyfriend brushes his teeth down the hall?  Is it okay that I walk back from class to be ambushed by you, asking personal questions that are as far as I can tell absolutely none of your business?" She ran her hand through her hair in frustration.  "Which part is okay, Chandler?  Because I sure as hell don't know anymore."

          He took a deep breath.  "As far as being rude to you goes, I apologized for that, even if it was on a drunken message that apparently is number two on the list of reasons you're pissed off at me.  And this is not an ambush.  This is the only way I could see you because you're not returning my calls.  This is just me needing to see you," he finished.  She sighed, dropped her bag and her keys, and sat down on the steps.  He followed and sat down beside her.

          "What is this, Chandler?  Everything's… everything's such a mess."  He could hear the tears before he could see them, and he tentatively rested an arm around her shoulders.

          "Hey… you want to tell me what's really bothering you?" he spoke after a few moments.

          She took a deep breath.  "Will and I broke up."

          "When?" he said, unable to contain his surprise.

          "Friday night," she rested her chin in her hands.

          "Why?" There was only one answer he wanted to hear.

          She looked at him.  "I don't want to tell you," she said.

          "Why not?"

          "First of all, it's sort of embarrassing.  And second…" she trailed off.

          "What?"

          "Second, it might… give you the wrong idea."

          "The wrong idea about what?" he asked, genuinely confused.

          "Okay," she relented.  "Remember what you asked me before?  About whether we… you know?"

          "Yeah…"

          "Well, we didn't.  But… we almost did."

          He recoiled, and let his mouth set in a firm line as he felt anger, bitterness, and jealousy course through his veins.  He pushed it as far from his mind as he could, and urged her to continue.

          "I don't know what got into me, Chandler, really… it was just too much to think about.  Seeing you and Will together, coming home to that message… and then Will, being everything he should be and it not being… not being enough, somehow."

          "Did he pressure you?" he asked defensively.

          She snorted.  "Hardly.  He'd never.  It was me, and it was totally unlike me, but I just… I just lost it, I guess.  I… I almost did it, and I would have, but-"

          He tensed again at "I would have," the words causing him more pain than he would have thought possible. 

          "Are you okay?  You wanted me to tell you," she reminded him.  He nodded.

          "I'm fine.  Continue."

          "Okay.  Well, I would have.  I've spent the past two days trying to convince myself that I would have stopped it, that I wouldn't have gone through with it because I knew it wasn't the right time, but the truth is that I know I would have.  I was going to.  But… then something happened, and he stopped it.  Chandler," she said.  "I couldn't stop thinking about you."

          His eyes snapped to meet hers, finally hearing something he wanted to hear.

          "You couldn't?"

          She shook her head.  "And I guess I must have said your name-"

          "You said my name?!" he asked, his voice gleeful until she glared at him.  "I mean, you said my name?"

          "I guess," she mumbled.  "Because he jumped up and he yelled and then I cried and then we made up and then we broke up, and then he left.  That's the abridged version."

          "Well… I can't say I'm sorry," he said.  He reached for her hand hesitantly.  "I mean, I'm sorry if you're sorry, and I'm sorry if you got hurt, you know-"

          "Chandler?  Stop," she said.  He nodded gratefully.  "I know what you mean."

          They sat there for a few minutes, holding hands lightly, moving a little whenever a resident of the building would need to get in the door. 

          "Mon?  What do you think it meant?  You saying my name?" he ventured after a while.

          "That's what I've been trying to figure out for the last forty eight hours."

          "And have you come to any conclusions?" he asked hopefully.

          She shook her head, then shrugged.  "I wanted it to be you," she whispered, looking down at their entwined hands.  With the index finger of the hand she wasn't holding, he gently raised her chin until she was looking at him.  Their faces inches apart, he leaned a little closer.

          "I'm going to kiss you," he said, echoing the words almost verbatim that he spoke before their kiss a month ago, although it felt like longer to both.

           "No," she said softly, placing a hand on his chest to keep him at bay.

          "I'm going to kiss you," he repeated.  He stared into her eyes, blue meeting blue, waiting for her to object again.

          "Okay.  One kiss," she said, smiling a little.  He closed the distance between them instantly, and their lips met again, it feeling every bit as right as it had on New Years Eve.  He kissed her gently, reaching up to play with her hair, and she responded by kissing him back.  When the kiss became a little more passionate, she pulled back with a little laugh. 

          "Okay, okay," she said.  "That's enough."

          She stood to get up, and he handed her her bag, and planted one more sweet kiss on her lips.  She unlocked the door and turned over her shoulder to see him grinning widely behind her.

          "That was two kisses," she said accusingly.

          "Care to make it three?"

          "Have a good afternoon, Chandler."

          "See you and Rachel at dinner?  Six?" he asked.

          "Sure," she said, flashing him another smile before hurrying through the door and up the three flights of stairs to her room.   He stood in the doorway and watched her, dark hair flying behind her, and couldn't wipe the smile from his face.  He didn't know what it meant, but something was happening.  Something was finally happening.

          "You're in a substantially better mood," Rachel noted as they walked across the campus to the cafeteria to meet Ross and Chandler.

          Monica shrugged.  "Just got over myself, I guess."

          "Are you ever going to tell me what happened Friday night?"

          "Will and I almost…" she trailed off, looking at Rachel knowingly.

          Rachel gasped, and hit her friend lightly.  "You didn't!"

          "No, we didn't.  I said we almost did."

          "I can't believe it, Monica, you dated the guy for like six months and wouldn't even go past second…"

          "Have we reverted back to bases?" Monica said, rolling her eyes.

          "I just can't believe you almost… I mean, I thought you weren't ready."

          "I wasn't.  Listen, can we stop talking about this now?  I really don't want to share this information with my brother."

          "Okay.  But later, right?" Rachel pressed, the gossip queen in her getting the best of her.

          "Yeah, later," Monica said as they approached the boys.

          "Hey guys," said Rachel.

          "Hey," Ross said, greeting his sister with a kiss on the cheek.  "Haven't seen you for a few days."

          "Busy," she lied.  Ross and Rachel walked a little ahead of them to secure "their table," and Chandler tugged on Monica's jacket.  She turned and looked at him expectantly, suppressing a grin.

          "Hello," he said, pecking her quickly on the lips.  Her hand flew to where he had kissed her and she looked at him warningly, but smiling. 

          "Hello," she replied.

          "That was three," he whispered in her ear, pulling her chair out for her.  She giggled, and looked up to see Rachel gaping at her.

          "What?" she asked defensively.

          "What's this?" Rachel asked, gesturing between Monica and Chandler.

          "Nothing," they both said at the same time.  Ross looked at them suspiciously.

          "I'm starved," Monica said, getting up to get a tray.

          "Me too," said Chandler, taking her lead.

          "Something's up," Rachel said decidedly.  Ross shrugged, no longer interested, and followed his friends, just glad that they were finally all hanging out again and that it seemed that things were at least somewhat back to normal.

It was a little shorter but it was a LOT quicker, so take what you can get ladies and gentlemen.  J  Hope you liked it!  We're so close, can't you just taste it??? Leave me a review!!!