Hard Decisions
*************
Kagome...I never knew...I didn't realize...Inuyasha stood up and stalked to the window.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Boton clutched at his sleeve.
"To stop her."
"She wants to be alone."
"Not Kagome, I mean Kikyo. I'll make her stop this. I...I never knew, Boton. I never realized Kikyo was...hurting Kagome like this..." He sank his talons into the window sill. "And I kept protecting that stupid bitch..."
"Kikyo wasn't always evil..." Boton tried to assure him. "She was good inside, once."
"Yeah, and all of that, she is now trying to strip away from Kagome..." he laughed shortly. "I just wish I knew how to send her back to where she belongs."
"I do."
"What?"
"I know how. I can help her move on...with out killing the spirit she now possesses." Boton answered quietly.
"What are you thinking, Boton?" Yusuke butted in. "That isn't our mission."
She swung around at him, arms fisted at her sides. "Protecting Kagome is part of our mission! If Kikyo steals Kagome's soul, what do you think is going to happen to her, Yusuke?"
"Uhhh..."
"She'll die!"
Yusuke examined his hands and digested this. He glanced around to see everyone's reactions and found them all to be no help at all. Inuyasha and Boton were staring at each other. Kurama looked like he was ready to murder anyone who came near him, Hiei was fingering the hilt of his sword and standing with his eyes closed. Kuwabara was petting the obese cat and watching Yusuke closely. Always the supporter... Yusuke grinned at the giant.
"Kikyo will kill her eventually," Boton pressed.
"No. I won't let that happen." Inuyasha crouched down. "Get on."
"What?!"
"Get on, woman! You'll help me find and save both Kikyo and Kagome."
Boton gingerly climbed up onto Inuyasha's back like she had seen Kagome do and suddenly found herself flying through the air. "Eeep!"
"Wait, Boton!"
Yusuke hung out the much used window and glared at the blur of energy from the well house. "Ah, shit...I would have gone with her."
"Finals, Urameshi. Keiko would never forgive you if you failed the grade," Kuwabara reminded him.
"So!?" he spat. "This is the life of our friend! She would have to understand."
"Do you really think that it is so bad? I mean she has been fighting it for three years..."
"Multiply the worst physical pain you have ever felt by ten and you may have an idea of what it feels like to have your soul broken." Hiei said unexpectedly. "It hurts."
An admission of pain from Hiei was unheard of. They didn't ask he would know such a thing...probably some torture he used on some soul long ago...
A harsh growl from the bed made them look at the kitsune laid out on the white coverlet. He was obviously fighting with himself. He was sweating and clenching his teeth, the growl never abating.
"Kurama!" Yusuke jumped to his friends side. "Are you gonna change again?"
"Stop it, fox. This in not what she needs now." Hiei's words were soft but sincere. "Kagome is not interested in revenge or grudges. Use your head, baka."
"Whadda you mean?" Kuwabara scratched his head.
"Hiei..." Yusuke protested. He was all for kicking some ass...
"She needs her friends now. She needs you...us." Hiei continued, ignoring the other two.
Kurama slowly relaxed and nodded. "You're right."
"Of course I am."
Kurama let a small smile slip. "Can we do-"
"Hn."
"I see. We wait..for Boton to succeed."
"Or fail."
"She won't."
******************************************************************************
Kagome sank to her knees next to the God Tree and hugged the massive giant. It's slow but powerful calming pulse reached inside of her and soothed the hurt and pain. She rested her cheek on the rough bark and smile. "Thank you..."
She allowed the waves of pain, fear and helplessness flow through and out of her. Kikyo...I'm not finished yet...She saw Inuyasha jump past her with Boton on his back, and sensed them disappear into the well house. "What is he doing?...Boton..." She sat still and absorbed what calm and peaceful energies she could. When night comes, it would be worse, because then she would be alone with her fear. Kagome rubbed her fingers on the tree and contemplated her short life. Things had been changing all around her, these past years, but no time before had she felt so lost.
Even when she was fifteen and newly arrived in the warring states era, she still knew who she was inside. She knew herself and her feelings. Now however, that had changed. She wasn't sure what was her own emotions and what was carryover from Kikyo. How much of herself was really her own? She felt very alone. Because I let Inuyasha go...I feel alone. I was using him to define myself. I have other friends, others who care for me greatly, but...I feel like I'm not complete. I've lost so many pieces of my soul, my heart, and my identity. And I feel alone because...who is going to want a woman with only part of a soul? Was Inuyasha really my last chance?...my only chance?...
A fleeting image of Kurama, followed by the stranger from last night filtered through her thoughts. Would I dare to assume Kurama could accept...this...hollow girl? And that guy, he kissed me, so I must not be...repulsive at least...This is stupid.
Kagome felt awful. Here I am, with guests and friends who have done nothing but help and support me and I'm out here sulking like a child. Kagome went back inside and climbed the stairs to her room. I should be thankful for all the good people who DO care! I have a rich life...
Kagome suddenly smiled, happy and feeling much more like herself. She pushed open the door to her room and bounded in. "I'm back!" She announced brightly. "I think I owe everyone another apology...please forgive me?" she asked the guys assembled in her room.
Yusuke shook his head at her entrance. "Ah, Kagome?"
"Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Talk about mood swings..." Kuwabara muttered. "She's worse then Shizuru."
"About that...sorry," she hung her head and examined her toes.
"You are really okay?" Kurama tugged her arm to get her to sit next to him on the bed.
"Yes."
"Liar." Hiei crossed his arms.
"I will be fine, Hiei," she held his stare, determination shining from every feature.
"Hn."
"Kagome?" she turned back to Yusuke who was looking at her in concern. "Can't you block her?"
"No. I'd be blocking part of my own soul. Not a very smart move, I'm afraid. I tried it once..." Kagome yawned and hugged a pillow to her chest. "Sorry."
"Kagome! Breakfast! Tell your friends to come down too!"
Kagome grinned and shook her head. "Mama-she always knows just what I need..." she laughed. "Let's go! Time to eat."
They followed her into the hallway when Kurama grabbed her hand. "Kagome, perhaps I better wait..."
She looked at him in surprise and remembered his half dressed appearance. "Oops!" she ran back into her room and dug down into her closet for the oversized t-shirts that she used to wear to bed. She retrieved a black shirt, hoping that it was big enough for the taller boy and handed it to him.
Kurama shrugged into the soft material. It barely fit. It hugged his chest and shoulders, showing off the lean muscles and build. It would do, he supposed.
"Wow. I never looked that good in that shirt," Kagome sighed. "Maybe you should keep it."
Hiei snorted behind her and Yusuke chuckled.
"I have a shirt like that!" Kuwabara suddenly announced.
"Then again, maybe not..." Kagome giggled. "Let's eat."
******************************************************************************
Miroku's staff jangled a warning right before it smacked Inuyasha in the head. "Fool."
"Hey!"
Miroku looked in surprise at the blue haired girl that had just looked over Inuyasha's shoulder.
"What did you do that for?" she yelled angrily.
"Keh!" Inuyasha nodded, thinking she was defending him.
"At least wait till he puts me down!"
Inuyasha tripped and landed on his face, taking her down with him. "Argghh!" he ground his teeth together so hard he was in danger of losing a fang. Nothing changes...
Boton felt arms slip around her to help her back to her feet, or so she thought. "HENTAI!" she turned and smacked the monk with an oar that materialized in her hands. She stood there, glaring at the half conscious man, with her arms crossed over her chest protectively.
"Hey, you're still here?" Inuyasha sniffed the air.
"It seems you have lost the rest of your mind, whelp. You do realize that is not the woman you left to retrieve, do you not?" Sesshoumaru calmly watched his brother's temper flare.
"I have something else to do before Kagome comes back, bastard."
"Lady, forgive me. My intentions were to help you..."
"Save it. I know who you are," Boton glared.
"Oh! You have heard of me then? If that is so, would you do me the honor of baring my-" Sango dropped her weapon on Miroku's head, looking furious.
"Hello, I'm Sango. You must be Boton."
Boton nodded stupidly. She wasn't so sure that this had been her best decision.
"You are no demon. Nor are you human," Sesshoumaru calmly demanded an answer without asking a question.
"No. I'm a living spirit."
"Living spirit?" a small voice piped up. Boton looked down to see a little human girl holding hands with a kitsune cub. "You mean like the spirit of a tree or a river?" the kit asked.
"Ah, no, actually. I'm the living spirit...of...ah...death, actually." she laughed nervously.
Sesshoumaru's pale eyebrows rose slightly. That idiot makes some strange friends...and powerful ones. So she's Lady Death...the ferry girl of souls.
"How is Kagome?" Sango asked.
"..." Inuyasha sniffed the air again.
"Inuyasha?"
"I have to go find Kikyo."
"WHAT!?"
"Feh! I don't have time for this crap. Boton?"
"Huh? Oh!" Boton perched on the floating oar and nodded to the group. "Sorry I don't have time to visit, but I have a woman to return to the land of the dead."
"Keh! Follow me."
"Bye!" she waved cheerily, flying close to the hanyou's heels.
"Inuyasha's giving up Kikyo?" Miroku puzzled.
"I...I guess so." Sango felt speechless.
"Does that mean that he's decided to keep Kagome?" Shippo asked innocently. He missed the sharp look Sesshoumaru flung his way. "I hope not," the fox continued. "I don't think that she likes him like that anymore."
Thank god. Sesshoumaru thought Even for a human, she deserves better then that Fool. Wait..."Anymore?"
"Me either," Sango assured him.
"I think she likes Kurama?" he bounced and transformed into the tall red head, with Shippos's tail firmly pinned on his backside. He made a dramatic pose and pranced around them in the funniest ways he could think of until the transformation wore off. He even dared to dance around Sesshoumaru who was actually looking on in interest.
Sango choked on her laughter. "It looked like him, Shippo. But, I'm sure glad that he doesn't act like that!"
"Well, of course! He's a man, not a little kit like me. It's just more fun this way!"
"Brat."
He grinned and scampered off to play with Rin and harass Jaken. Maybe with Kikyo gone, Inuyasha would need a new distraction. He didn't want the dog demon to complicate his scheme to get the older fox firmly bound to his Kagome. Maybe that Boton girl...Inuyasha even let her ride on his back. Perhaps if he worked things right, Inuyasha would be too busy to interfere with Kagome's new relationship.
******************************************************************************
That's one matchmaking little kit!
Well, Boton's in for an adventure, Inuyasha some heart ache.
Kurama is torturing himself with the constant support of his loyal parasite! (Youko/Shuuichi)
Kagome is fighting her fears about her own worth.
Hiei is Hiei!
What more could happen?
Hehehehe!
Shall we return to present day Tokyo?