Anyone Else
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Inuyasha felt the same weightlessness he always felt when he confronted Kikyo. It was as if her presence stopped time, stopped all action, and existed on some undefinable level.
He loved her. He hated her. He forgave her, and now, he must condemn her. Every bit of despair she had brought back with her with her resurrection he felt pour into him. "Kikyo..."he whispered, tasting her name on his lips for what may be the last time.
"You've been looking for me, Inuyasha? I see you have finally gotten rid of that copy of me." Kikyo's cold voice was a far cry from the warm hearted miko she had once been. And now, her callous words froze his heart as he remembered the reason he had sought her out.
"Kikyo, you've been hurting Kagome..." Inuyasha found himself immobile. Now that she was here in front of him, he felt the deep bite of betrayal tearing at his insides.
"I haven't seen that pathetic imitation." she bit out.
"You've been trying to steal her soul!" he shouted at his old love. Despair colored his words until he almost choked on them.
"It's MY soul!" she suddenly growled back in anger. "Did you expect me to walk this earth forever incomplete? Did it really take you three years to realize that I've been wearing that girl down so that I could be alive again? Inuyasha, would you choose her over me?"
Inuyasha stared at her, a queer sadness shining in his eyes. Here he was, with the woman he had sworn to always protect and loved with his whole being, the first to care for him, love him, want him with her, and he was going to abandon her...again. Death would take her from him twice in this one life time that he was doomed to live. This time, he was going to be the one to take from her what he had made a vow to save...her life. But, she was already dead. There was nothing in this world for her...except revenge. And the Kikyo he knew and loved would not have wanted to life a life consumed with hatred.
"That is not his decision to make!" Boton finally spoke up. The dead Miko's cold, empty eyes turned on her. "Nor is it yours."
"Death..." Kikyo said softly. "Inuyasha why does Death walk with you?" the Miko recognized Boton's strange energy easily.
"My name is Boton. And I am here to help you return to where you belong." Boton answered for the hanyou who was practically vibrating with tension in front of her.
"Where I belong?" Kikyo's anger grew in leaps and bounds. "Inuyasha, would you have me die?"
Inuyasha gave a soft cry, hand upraised as he took a hesitant step toward the beautiful doll. "Kikyo..."
The Miko jerked away, hatred ripe in her usually empty face. "I won't die again so easily!" She had an arrow notched and bow drawn before they could blink. The glowing tip explained that there would be no sealing spell this time. She would shoot to kill.
Inuyasha ignored the bow and took another hesitant step toward his lost love.
"Inuyasha! Don't!" Boton gasped.
"Kikyo. Don't you live in torment everyday? Why? Why let it continue? Why not let it go?" Inuyasha cried.
"Because I don't want to cease to exist!" the woman raged. I want another chance to learn to love again, to forgive again, because then and only then can I forgive myself!"
But Kikyo-sama, it doesn't end this way. Isn't Kagome proof enough of that? You get another chance..." Boton reached out to the pained spirit before her.
"That girl is not me!"
"I know that. You can never come back the way you were before. Each life time is a new experience for a soul. Kikyo, you are denying yourself a chance to continue the cycle of birth and death." Boton spoke quietly, watching the arrow in apprehension.
"I want no other life. I want the one that has been stolen from me! I want to live the way I was meant to..." Kikyo lost the angry note in her voice. Now she seemed almost desperate. "Inuyasha, I want the chance to love you!"
Inuyasha clenched his fists at his sides, nails digging into flesh. "Kikyo...I loved who you were. Not who you are now..."
Kikyo's eyes widened in shock. He was denying her! He was casting her off, forgetting what she had given up for him!
"Kikyo, if you had been like this when we met, we would never have fallen in love. I would probably been dead the first time you realized I was there. You have become hard, Kikyo."
"I'm like this because of you! I died for you! I came back for you! I exist because of you!" she cried out to him.
"Inuyasha caught his breath. "I'm...sorry...I'm sorry Kikyo."
"No..." she let the bow fall from limp fingers.
"Kikyo-sama," Boton reached out a hand to the pale girl, "no one blames you for what happened."
"You lie..." Kikyo fell to her knees, trembling in her emotional pain. "Even my reincarnation blames me."
"No, she doesn't. If she blamed you, she would still carry that anger you now have inside of her. Kagome is pure, Kikyo, because inside, so are you."
Kikyo laughed. It was a hollow empty sound. "Pure? I live through my hatred, Boton-sama. How could you say such a thing?"
"Hate is part of the living experience, just as much as love is. It doesn't make you tainted, Kikyo-sama. It makes you learn...It is as important as any other thing you feel. If you can overcome this, you beat all the evil that ever once held you here." Boton tried to keep her voice even, but the sight of so much suffering hurt her own tender heart. She was afraid to look at the silent dog demon behind her. If his pain was near what Kikyo displayed, she would be unable to keep from running to him to offer what comfort she could.
"Do you love her, Inuyasha?" Kikyo's hands fisted on her legs, her hair hung, hiding her face.
"What?" he croaked.
"That girl, Kagome...Do you love her?"
"No. Not like that. I never could. She reminds me of you at times...and of what I can never really have..." he replied truthfully.
"Don't ever love her. Anyone else, but never her," Kikyo said quietly.
"Kikyo!" Inuyasha rushed to her, unable to hold himself back any longer.
"You are right, Inuyasha. I'm not who I was..." she pulled him close, hugging the half demon tightly before pushing him away. He looked into her deep brown eyes, a silent plea for forgiveness.
"I will always carry some small remembrance of you in my heart."
"I know...I will never forget you either."
"Kikyo-sama..." Boton hesitated to interrupt them, but she needed to be sure. "Will you go back now?"
"I will..I will descend back into hell..." the miko began to pull her energy to a point beneath her feet.
"Wait! Kikyo, you were never meant to dwell in hell!" Boton exclaimed. "I can show you the path to Spirit World, but I can only accompany you a short way. This is not my time."
"Spirit World?" Kikyo regarded the blue haired girl in front of her.
"Yes...it is the place of the hall of judgement...but your soul has already been reborn, so it is obvious that you do not wind up in hell."
"Hmmm."
"Come with me?" Boton held out a hand in friendship. The anger and dislike that she had previously harbored had melted away in the face of so much emotional pain. Kikyo was never evil...and now, she faced the fact that she had to move on.
Kikyo took the spirit's hand, a felt a strange warmth in her finger tips. Her cold and lifeless body melted away until a glowing but faded sculpture of her replaced the clay and bone. "Come with me?" Boton tugged the ethrical hand gently. She opened a portal, and walked slowly, at the other woman's pace, until they were safely standing in the next realm.
"There," she said pointing to a massive building in the distance, "is where you must go. Ask for Yukari. She will take you to King Enma...and tell her, her daughter says hello..."
Kikyo nodded and released the other girls fingers. She did not begin walking yet, though. Instead she turned back to the spirit girl. "Will I really be forgiven?"
"Ah, Kikyo," Boton smiled softly, "You were never accused."
Kikyo gave a small sobbing laugh and took the first steps of her final journey.
Boton watched the lonely figure fade into the distance. This wasn't as fulfilling as she had believed it would be. She felt drained, and the happiness she had believed would come to her for saving Kagome, came at a great price.
She understood now, why Kagome had never told anyone of the pain Kikyo caused her. Boton knew why she had not told of the times that Kikyo had attempted to kill her. This price was too high to make such a decision when you loved the one who would suffer the greatest from Kikyo's death. Boton rubbed the silent tears from her eyes. If she was effected like this, Inuyasha must be falling apart inside. Boton quickly opened the portal, returning to the Hanyou she knew would need a friend now more then ever before...
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Kurama studied the ground in front of him defiantly. "It definitely came this way." He pointed out the trail the others couldn't see.
"If you are sure, Kurama," Yusuke trailed along, letting the experienced fox scout out the demon's scent and tracks. Tracking was definitely not on his list of things that he was good at.
"What are we following again?" Kuwabara asked.
"Idiot. What do we usually find ourselves trailing after?" Hiei snorted.
"Shut up, shrimp. I know it's a demon. What kind of demon is it?" Kuwabara shot back. "And what did it do to make us have to track it?"
"It's just a demon!" Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Does it matter what kind it is?"
"It's a dog demon," Kurama pointed out a light mark in the stiff grass. "See that?"
"Bent grass? Bent grass means it's a dog demon?"
"No, fool. Kurama can smell, track and understand the variations in the movements of different types of demons."
"Oh..."
Kurama ignored them, following the dog's hidden trail with care. This demon was experienced and smart. If he let up, even a little, he would lose the path and be forced to double back repeatedly until he found the soft marks again, if he ever did.
Kurama moved slowly, trying to follow the crafty demon. Suddenly the trail vanished. He checked, again and again, but it just disappeared, as if the dog had grown wings and flown away.
"Koenma isn't going to like this."
"What?" Yusuke came up behind him.
"He is gone."
"Gone? We haven't even found it yet. How can it be gone?" Yusuke pouted. "Where did it go?"
"It flew away..."
"I thought you said it was a dog." Kuwabara mused.
"It is."
"Dogs don't fly."
"Shut up, Baka." Hiei said. "Dogs don't fly. Dog demons can...I suppose."
"You suppose?" Yusuke glanced at the moody koorime.
"It's just as likely as a fox with two tails."
"Or five..." Yusuke agreed pointing a finger at Kurama.
"You have five tails!?" Kuwabara ran up to the red head. "Can I see?"
"Definitely not."
"Awww..." he whined.
No way am I going to parade around so HE can stare at my rear...Youko snarled. With that Baka's fetish for fur, He'd probably what to pet me too.
Meow...Shuuichi laughed.
Now Kagome can stare at my tails all she wants...
Don't you ever give up? Shuuichi sighed.
Keh! I'm no quitter. I wouldn't even die!
I know...the human groaned. And it was jsut my luck that I'm now stuck with you.
You know you love me! Youko teased.
Sorry, but my affections are directed elsewhere, thank you, Shuuichi replied primly.
Forget it human. I've got my eyes on that prize.
She kissed me...Shuuichi said smugly.
She kissed us! Youko insisted.
She doesn't even know you exist.
I'll fix that.
What!? Shuuichi became suddenly serious. What are you planning, Youko?
...
Youko? The eerie silence disturbed Kurama
"Ah, shit."
"Problems in wonderland?" Hiei snorted behind him. "You may need a mediator. Want me to step in?"
"There are enough voices in my head as it is, Hiei. But thank you anyway. Could you mediate?"
Hiei grinned evilly. Kurama shuddered. "Never mind. Swords don't work in the mind." Hiei's grin widened. "Neither does the Dragon of Darkness Flame...I hope." The grin remained plastered on Hiei's face, giving the impression of someone doing something naughty and enjoying every minute of it. "Stop that," Kurama pleaded.
"What were you,-they, arguing about this time?" Hiei was curious about the boy's conversation. If the energies coming off from him were any indication, the conversation must have been interesting.
Kurama raised a brow, and glanced at Hiei. The fire demon made no pretense at trying to appear innocent. He was being nosey, pure and simple.
"I miss her," was all he said.
"Hn," Hiei blinked. His smile never wavered. "So, who's winning?"
"Who said anyone is fighting?"
Hiei scoffed. "Did you really need to say it?"
"No. I suppose not."
"Well?" he persisted.
"I am," he answered mutinously.
"Hn. Does she know?"
"That I like her? I think so."
"You're hopeless..."
Kurama smiled slightly. "Yeah, I know..."
Who's hopeless?
You are, fox.
Feh!...you don't really think that I'm hopeless, do you?
....baka...
Kurama sighed, "I hope Kagome comes back soon. Those two are driving me crazy."
"Hn."
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