Dating Dungbombs
Review Answers:
*Ashlee and Harry together is funny! Answer: Hey ... Ashlee and Harry IS funny!
*If you knew Louise well enough, you would know that she says 'tralalala' a lot and 'Dr Nick' a lot as well. Answer: Well, I don't really know Louise well, but I suppose I could slip in a Dr Nick or a Tralalalala in somewhere in this chapter.
*Louise narrating the chapter? Answer: Sorry, but I've already gone out of my way to make everybody else narrate the chapter, so I have a strict plan: Chapter 7 - Courtney, Chapter 8 - Karla, Chapter 9 - Linda, Chapter 10 - Louise. Sorry!
*Why didn't Rachel get her butterbeer? Answer: Hehe, I just felt like being mean that day.
*Rachel's mint humbugs? Answer: Hahaha, I'll see what I can do.
*Linda's a good writer and Ashlee's a good editor. Answer: What is WITH you people and accusing Linda?! GET OVER IT!
*It must be Linda because she was the only person who started saying 'Punchbuggy' to Rebecca. Answer: Have you read the reviews? Somebody called 'Slytherin's-Dark-Angel' suggested that some random people go and punch Linda and/or Lara and say 'Punchbuggy' or 'Peanut'.
*Can Elizabeth have Michael Corner? Answer: Well, you seem to like him a lot, so, OK. But no sappy stuff. Next chapter.
*Rachel better get her butterbeer! Answer: No.
*There are bigger egos than Rachel's! Answer: No, that's not true.
A/N: Well, thank you for all those reviews and for cracking the 50 reviews mark! So, a special thank you must be given to these people for reviewing (in no particular order): Wandless, Evil_Dudette, Rachel Gilding, Linda DeGail, Ginny, Ginny Weasley, Georgia, SNEAKstinkiesnufflesfriends, Louise, Breanna, evilive, Slytherin's-Dark-Angel, lut-lut and luoise.
What's in this chapter?: Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms (all repeat subjects), Courtney, food, Plan EH, sleep, mis-aim, manure, angry and I.W.W.
Have fun reading this chapter - I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (if I did, I would be showering with money), nor do I own the Matrix (otherwise Courtney would be my best friend). I do not get any profit from this story, and I'm sorry if this story is damaging to anybody's ego.
WARNING: THERE IS A MATRIX SPOILER INSIDE OF HERE, SO STEAR CLEAR IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN 'THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS'. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Chapter 7 - Courtney's PoV: Welcome To My World
It was another morning. I got up and got dressed like I usually did. I yawned and looked outside the window. It was raining again - the weather was like that usually. Usually on days like this, I would look down and stare at the giant squid. But for some reason, I hadn't seen the giant squid lately.
I walked out the dormitory and headed towards the bathroom. After pulling out a new tube of toothpaste from one of the drawers under the sink (for some reason, the drawer emitted a burnt smell from in there) and brushing my teeth, I made my way downstairs.
The Great Hall had breakfast already made. The smell was already wondering the corridors.
I sat down at the Gryffindor table and started eating the food. I got my fork and started shifting around the bacon that I had placed onto my plate. Louise soon came down.
"Hi everybody!" she said in a cheery tone.
"Hi ..." I replied, my brow furrowing. "Dr Nick?" I asked uncertainly.
"Yeah!" Louise smiled and looked down at my plate. "The Matrix?" she read, looking at my carefully arranged bacon.
"Yeah!" I shouted suddenly with glee. Louise jumped back, looking worried. "I like the Matrix!" I proclaimed.
"Um, OK then." Louise replied back a little tentatively.
"My fave character is Trinity!" I continued. You just HAVE to hear about the Matrix! It's the coolest Muggle movie that I've ever seen!
"OK." Louise picked up a piece of toast and her eyes misted over. It seemed like she wasn't really listening, but that didn't matter.
"It's so sad that Trinity dies!" I cried suddenly. It was so sad! WHY? WHY MUST HAVE TRINITY DIED? TRINITY IS MY FAVOURITE! WWWHHHYYY?!
"OK." Louise picked up her butter knife and buttered another piece of toast.
"WWHHYY?!?!" I screamed, crying into Louise's shoulder.
"OK." Louise poured herself a glass of orange juice.
"WHY CAN'T TRINITY LIVE?" I continued crying, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.
"OK." Louise drank the orange juice.
"Good morning everyone!" a cheery little voice said suddenly, bounding down the stairs.
The Hall (if possible) grew more silent. Karla looked around at everyone, wondering why they weren't as happy as she was.
"How are you today?" Karla skipped up to the High Table to Professor Dumbledore.
"I'm fine, thank you, Miss Feathers." Professor Dumbledore grinned merrily at Karla.
"That's good to know, Professor!" Karla then skipped to us.
"Hi, Karla." I said miserably.
"Why aren't you happy?" Karla asked me, grinning.
"TRINITY!" I yelled sadly, then sobbed all over again.
"OK." Louise nodded and salted her bacon.
Soon, Ashlee, Elizabeth, Lara, Linda and Rachel came down the stairs. Lara grabbed a plate, piled it with food ("Ooh ... Eggs.") and made the usual treck towards the Slytherin table. What was WITH her and the Slytherin table?
~~Transfiguration~~
When the bell rang, we walked to the classroom. I looked outside - the sky was darkening and the clouds were grey. It looked like it was going to rain any second.
"Today, we'll begin some advanced Transfiguration." Professor McGonagall peered down at us through her spectacles. Great. "I will present to you an object and you will transfigure it into a living, breathing organism." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Malfoy turn a bit pale. Well, more pale then he originally was anyway.
"What's wrong?" I saw Lara mouth towards him. He mouthed something back which I couldn't figure out.
"You will now assemble into your partners." Professor McGonagall instructed.
Let me ask a question: What has the neck of a tree, arms of a tree and the brain of a dinosaur? Let me give you the answer: Gregory Goyle.
"Hi Courtney." Goyle said roughly, sounding like the village oaf.
"Yeah." I replied back dully.
Professor McGonagall came around and placed a toy mouse under my nose.
"What are we doing?" Goyle asked dumbly. I rolled my eyes.
"Just sit down and shut up." I instructed gruffly. Goyle nodded and sat down.
I looked down at the toy mouse. I suppose this was easy. All I had to do was transfigure it into a real mouse. There was only one problem: I didn't know how to do that. The closest thing that I knew was a ferret. Oh well, better give it a shot. I looked at Goyle. He was sleeping (much quicker than usual) and was emitting loud snores. I rolled my eyes and rolled up my sleeves.
I picked up my wand. I aimed it at the toy mouse. I cleared my throat.
"Ferratus!" I cried. At that exact moment, Goyle's head tipped over and landed on the table. The table shook, and I fell backwards.
The ferret spell flew off-course and zapped across the room.
"OH NO!" I screamed, as the spell found it's target.
"What the?!" Professor McGonagall fell backwards and landed on the floor.
"OH NO!" I continued screaming. Professor McGonagall started shrinking immediately. She started growing white fur, and her eyes became pink. "OH NO!!" I repeated. Then, the transformation was finished. What remained of a Transfiguration professor was a white furred, pink-eyed ferret. The class fell silent.
I gulped. Then the whole force of it all came and hit me.
I had just transfigurated my Transfiguration teacher into a ferret. A FERRET! A BLOODY FERRET!!
"Professor McGonagall?" I asked quietly to the ferret. It looked up at me accusingly, it's eyes narrowing. Yep, it was her alright.
"What did you do?" Goyle asked me dumbly.
"ME?!" I screamed. "ME?! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU AND YOU'RE STUPID SLEEPING, THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED!"
"What?" Goyle asked.
"YOU FELL ASLEEP. THEN YOUR HEAD BANGED DOWN ONTO THE DESK AND MADE ME MIS- AIM MY SPELL, YOU OAF!" I argued. He still looked confused.
"OK!" Lara yelled. "OI!"
We all fell silent.
"Somebody get the ferret and bring it to the hospital wing and tell Madame Pomfrey that it's Professor McGonagall!" Lara said. The ferret squeaked in agreement.
I nodded, scooped up the ferret and made my way out the room. I ran all the way to the Hospital Wing.
"Whatever is wrong, dear?" Madame Pomfrey asked me. I showed her the ferret. "Oh dear, looks like Mr Malfoy is a ferret yet again." she sighed, and picked up Professor McGonagall.
"What?" I asked. Then I shook my head. "That's Professor McGonagall." I said.
Madame Pomfrey's eyes widened a little bit. "What happened?"
"Um, a mis-directed spell got her and she turned into this." I explained.
"OK, then." Madame Pomfrey took the ferret and placed it onto a bed. The ferret squeaked again. "You best be going now."
I walked out of the Hospital Wing with a bad feeling inside of myself. It wasn't the fact that I had turned my Transfiguration professor into a ferret. It wasn't the fact that I'd caused a public argument with tree- dinosaur boy in the middle of the lesson. It was the fact that I was probably never going to be let out of the castle, that brought me down from my high horse.
~~Charms~~
Just as I reached the classroom, the bell rang. I grabbed my stuff and joined the others while we headed down to Charms.
I entered the room and saw tiny Professor Flitwick smiling happily at us. Let's hope this time I don't turn him into a furry mouse look-a-like.
"In Charms today," Professor Flitwick began, "we will be charming this pillow up into the air and make it do a loop into the air. Then, we will charm it back down where we will make it do cartwheels across the desk." he picked up his wand and aimed for the nearest purple pillow.
"So we'll launch the plan in Herbology?" a voice asked behind me. I turned around. It was Lara. My brow furrowed.
"Yep." Malfoy replied. My brow furrowed even more if possible. They always seemed to be planning something in the lessons.
"Wingardium Leviosa." Professor Flitwick said. He pointed his wand at the pillow, which rose up into the air. He flicked his wand in a little circle, and the pillow followed. Then the pillow floated downwards. "Carteous Mobilious!" the pillow jerked up and rose two corners which I think were supposed to be arms. It then launched itself at the table, flipping on all of its corners.
"Then the hole." Lara said behind me. I tried blocking out her voice.
Professor Flitwick swished his wand and the pillow stopped doing cartwheels and fell down, limp and lifeless.
"This is what I should be seeing!" he said as he placed the pillow back onto the pile.
Great. With my luck, I'll turn him into a tap dancing pineapple ...
I walked over and picked up a pillow. I sat down at my desk and looked at it.
"Oh, Harry!" somebody said. I turned around and saw Ashlee, looking at her pillow which Harry had charmed to flash the letters "I wuv wu!"
"EW!" I said, forgetting to restrain myself. Hold on though ... "That's like in the Matrix! Where Trinity loves Neo! But there wasn't a teddy bear with weird spelling on it's chest in it."
"Ms Hall!" Professor Flitwick said suddenly. I turned around sharply and concentrated on my pillow.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" I said, pointing my wand at the pillow. It soared up into the air. I jiggled my wand around. The pillow did a loopy-loop.
"Very good, Ms Hall!" Professor Flitwick said, impressed. "20 points to Gryffindor!"
I smiled. I swished my wand downwards and it flew back towards the table. "Carteous Mobilious!" I said and pointed my wand at the pillow. It sprang up immediately and started cartwheeling across the table. It finished with a somersault and a wonderful flourish.
"Wonderful!" Professor Flitwick gushed. "Fantastic! Add another 20 points!"
"Alright!" Rachel gave me a high five.
I looked towards to Ashlee and Harry for the latest in smooshy love acts.
The pillow (which still had the words "I wuv wu!" on it's middle) was now emitting a sickly sounding love song from it's corners.
"That's so sweet!" Ashlee said to Harry.
"It's not as sweet as you though." Harry replied, gazing into Ashlee's eyes.
"That's so romantic!"Ashlee exclaimed. "That's so nice! That's so wonderful!"
"That's so gross." Karla added.
"That's so disgusting." Linda suggested.
"That's so ew." Rachel continued.
"That's so horrible." I said.
"That's so lovesick!" Louise grimaced.
"That's so underling talk." Lara drawled. "I mean - that's so sickly sweet I think I'm going to puke." Lara ducked her head under the table and made throwing up noises.
"That's so generous!" Ashlee continued babbling to Harry, not really noticing us about to throw ourselves out of the window if she didn't shut up anytime soon.
"Ms Hillary and Mr Potter!" Professor Flitwick interrupted our brainstorming session. "Ms Feathers, Ms DeGail, Ms Gilding, Ms Hall, Ms Houston and Ms Fathersome!"
"Yes?" Louise asked.
"What are you doing?" Professor Flitwick asked, suspicious.
"Why, extending our vocabulary of course." Lara cut in smoothly.
"The truth, please." Professor Flitwick pressed on.
"Now, now," Lara interrupted, "that was a bit hyperbolised, wasn't it?"
"Very well, continue." Professor Flitwick rolled his eyes, clearing showing us that he did not know the meaning of 'hyperboly'.
Some people need to biggen their group of words.
~~Herbology~~
"Right, chappies!" Professor Sprout smiled merrily at us all. "Greenhouse 4 today!"
Greenhouse 4? There's a Greenhouse 4?
"Father kindly donated." I heard Malfoy whisper lightly to Lara. Well, that explains it.
"Now," Professor Sprout continued talking as soon as we reached Greenhouse 4. "Greenhouse 4 is a greenhouse for the deeply dangerous plants. So I advise that in today's lesson, there is to be no rampaging house elves or manure bags being upended, OK?" Elizabeth turned bright red. I saw Malfoy smoothing back his once again severly gelled blonde hair.
"Plan, OK?" Lara asked Malfoy. He nodded.
"Today we will be learning about Swallow Plants." Professor Sprout peered at us all. I saw her foot move towards the pile of Hippogriff manure near the corner of the greenhouse. "Who can tell me about Swallow Plants?"
"Swallow Plants are plants which have a deeply ferocious carnivourous appetite." Hermione Granger said without putting her hand up. "Once the victim is inside the plant's 'mouth', its digestive juices will slowly begin to eat away the prey. They also do not like dull colours, and will automatically eat anything that's wearing any dull colour."
"Very good, Ms Granger!" Professor Sprout smiled at Hermione. "20 points for Gryffindor."
"Ew." Karla wrinkled up her nose. "Why can't everyone just be happy and nice to everyone without eating each other?"
"That's just life." Linda replied.
"But that's sad!" Karla objected. "And I don't like being sad. I like being happy!"
"That's nice, Karla." Louise said. "How about this? Tralalala."
"That's good!" Karla smiled again.
"Today we will be feeding a Swallow Plant." Professor Sprout smiled - or rather grimaced - at us all. Evidently, she was expecting a house elf to barge in and object to her demand. "Now remember, these plants are extremely addicted to meat, so be careful."
I looked at everyone. Was it really THAT safe for a group of uneducated students to be feeding a plant that takes the phrase "Bite your head off" literally?
"As a precaution, you will need to wear plant scented gloves and don these robes." Professor Sprout waved her hand towards the rack of scented gloves and rainbow (literally rainbow) robes. "I'll demonstrate."
Professor Sprout pulled on a pair of scented gloves and pulled on the rainbow coloured robes. She picked up a piece of what looked like some leftover of yesterday's roast chicken and waved it around the air. The nearest Swallow Plant, which distantly resembled a Venus Fly Trap, twitched. It opened it's mouth and snapped at the air. Professor Sprout sucked in her breath and threw the chicken right into the plant's mouth. The Swallow Plant closed it's mouth instantly and there was a sound of chewing up bones.
"There you go, chappies." Professor Sprout smiled at us all and dusted off her hands. "Nothing to it."
The Swallow Plant burped and spat out the chicken bone. We all looked at each other with fear in our faces.
"Now, get to it!" Professor Sprout let us at the rainbow coloured robes and plant scented gloves.
I pulled on a robe and a pair of scented gloves.
"Now, before you go, work in pairs!" Professor Sprout instructed.
I grabbed Karla and we walked to the nearest Swallow Plant. Karla picked up a piece of chicken. She waved it around and the Swallow Plant snapped at the air. Karla screamed, and chucked the chicken at the plant. To her surprise, it landed squarely in it's mouth. It started chewing and a few minutes later, it burped and spat out the chicken bone.
"Good one, Karla!" I said as I picked up a piece of chicken.
"Thank you, Courtney." Karla smiled.
I waved the chicken around in the air when I heard a scream. I turned around and Malfoy and Harry wrestling on the greenhouse floor. I also saw the Swallow Plant in front of them drool. Oh dear.
Malfoy eventually won the wrestling match and lifted Harry up into the air.
"MR MALFOY!" Professor Sprout interrupted. "MR POTTER! RESTRAIN YOURSELVES! GET OUT OF THE WAY!"
Malfoy ignored her. "This is for all those years of being such a pain in the -"
"Harry!" Ashlee screamed and started pulling Harry's legs.
The result was Malfoy tugging madly at Harry and screaming insults at Ashlee while she was pulling at Harry's legs screaming "HARRY!". It all ended with Malfoy winning, and Harry's socks being pulled off by Ashlee.
"NO!" Ashlee cried and ran after Malfoy. She pulled out her wand.
"MS HILLARY!" Professor Sprout screamed and pulled out her own wand.
"PETRIFICUS TOTATLUS!" Lara cast the spell which knocked Professor Sprout down to the ground.
"HARRY!" Ashlee stumbled forwards and tried grabbing Harry.
Malfoy yanked him out of Ashlee's grasp. The weight of Harry sent him flying backwards into the nearest Swallow Plant. Harry flew into the air and landed into the pile of Hippogriff manure. The sacks burst open, manure spilling everywhere.
"DRACO!" Lara screeched, running towards the Swallow Plant
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Malfoy's muffled scream echoed from inside the Swallow Plant.
The scene would have been funny if Malfoy wasn't about to be dissolved into digestive juice. A huge Swallow Plant was waving it's head around, with a pair of rainbow coloured legs waving with it. A fuzzy haired girl was attacking the plant, sending spells at it, which bounced off the plant. Now instead of attacking the plant, the fuzzy haired girl was too busy ducking from the rebounded spells. There was a blonde girl trying to knock some sense into a guy on the ground with no socks on.
"COURTNEY!" Karla screamed at me. "WATCH OUT!" I turned around a little too late. Karla ran and tackled me to the floor, the Swallow Plant snapping at the air where I was just a few seconds ago. Obviously, I had forgotten that I had already waved around a piece of chicken and forgetting to give it to the plant. I chucked the piece of chicken in, hoping that it would eat it, not me.
And finally Professor Sprout had recovered from her petrified state. This was when Lara had fired a stunning spell at the seemingly indestructible Swallow Plant.
"EVERYBODY!" Professor Sprout screamed. Lara's stunning spell bounced off the plant and hit Professor Sprout squarely between the eyes. She fell down onto the ground, this time stunned.
"GET ME OUT!" Malfoy continued screaming. "MY HAIR IS GETTING RUINED!"
"YOUR HAIR GETTING RUINED IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!" Lara argued.
"WHAT MADE ME DO THIS ANYWAY?!" Malfoy shouted from inside the plant.
"PLAN EH!" Lara yelled, tugging Malfoy's legs.
"PLAN WHAT?" Malfoy screamed back.
"PLAN EH!" Lara repeated, tugging harder at Malfoy's legs.
"LOOK LARA!" Malfoy yelled, his legs waving around crazily. "I KNOW YOU'RE A SMART GIRL, SO PLEASE FINISH THIS SENTENCE! THE PLAN IS CALLED PLAN ...?"
"EH!" Lara argued. "IT'S CALLED PLAN EH!"
"EH?!" Malfoy shouted, his legs waving more crazily.
"E! H!" Lara screamed angrily at the waving legs. "ELIMINATE HARRY!"
"Elimate Harry?" Harry asked, suddenly snapping out of his trance with Ashlee.
"THAT'S IT!" Lara charmed up a sack of Hippogriff manure and used it to hit the Swallow Plant on the head with it.
The Swallow Plant instantly opened it's jaws and Malfoy flew across the greenhouse and knocked down a few shelves and their contents. Plants and dirt came falling downwards onto him. It seemed like the horror was over, until our Swallow Plant spat out it's chicken bone. It landed on Malfoy's head, like a glazed cherry on the top of a cake.
It was silent around the room now. We all looked at Malfoy. His legs were tattered, and it seemed like that the tips of his gelled hair were singed. The rainbow coloured robes were tattered and it seemed like a scented glove was stuck in his shoe. It was a close one for Plant Boy and his critically- in-need-of-a-hairdressor sidekick Fuzzy Wuzzy.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" a voice boomed throughout the greenhouse. We all looked up. Professor Dumbledore was at the threshold of the greenhouse. Silence once more.
It didn't look like the normal, calm and reassuring Dumbledore. It was the angry and non-forgiving Dumbledore that we've never seen before.
"Well ..." Lara started explaining ...
~~Lunch~~
"That was just great, everyone." Rachel said sarcastically to everyone at the table at lunch time. "It was a wonderful show."
Dumbledore had gone off his rocker after Lara explained her story. It seemed that Harry had started wrestling with Malfoy and Malfoy was defending himself when Harry threw him into the Swallow Plant. Of course, there was a look in Dumbledore's eyes that told us all that he didn't believe a single piece of babble Lara had spouted. Dumbledore then revived Professor Sprout before sending her to the Hospital Wing.
Then, Lara, Malfoy, Ashlee and Harry got a months detention and 50 points deducted from their houses. I suppose that Dumbledore was being generous. After that, the group had to stay and re-organise the greenhouse - without magic.
However, me, Elizabeth, Karla, Linda, Louise and Rachel survived and we were happily enjoying lunch.
"I wonder what will happen next to them." Elizabeth asked us. "Poor Harry." she muttered afterwards.
"Lies ponder what Bill Crappens hexed to him?" Linda asked, confused. "More Barry?! OK, who's Bill Crappens and WHO IN THE WORLD IS BARRY? AND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HIM THAT YOU WANT MORE OF HIM?!"
"Um ..." I didn't know what to say.
"BUM?!" Linda screeched back. "BUM?! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME YESTEDAY?!"
"We can hear you." Elizabeth giggled. "It's you who's as deaf as a doorknob."
"NO MORE ABOUT MENTALLY ADVANCED BODY PARTS!" Linda shouted, plainly not hearing Elizabeth and her joke.
Swallow Plants, diabolical plans, ferrets, dancing pillows, "I wuv wu!" messages, fuzzy hair, sickly love, tree-dinosaur boys and hearing problems. Welcome to my world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: What do you think? It's the newest chapter, and I hope you had fun reading it. Review, review!! I'd like to hear your opinions on my story and any suggestions. I promise I'll TRY to include the answer in my next chapter.
Until Chapter 8 ...
~~Blue
Review Answers:
*Ashlee and Harry together is funny! Answer: Hey ... Ashlee and Harry IS funny!
*If you knew Louise well enough, you would know that she says 'tralalala' a lot and 'Dr Nick' a lot as well. Answer: Well, I don't really know Louise well, but I suppose I could slip in a Dr Nick or a Tralalalala in somewhere in this chapter.
*Louise narrating the chapter? Answer: Sorry, but I've already gone out of my way to make everybody else narrate the chapter, so I have a strict plan: Chapter 7 - Courtney, Chapter 8 - Karla, Chapter 9 - Linda, Chapter 10 - Louise. Sorry!
*Why didn't Rachel get her butterbeer? Answer: Hehe, I just felt like being mean that day.
*Rachel's mint humbugs? Answer: Hahaha, I'll see what I can do.
*Linda's a good writer and Ashlee's a good editor. Answer: What is WITH you people and accusing Linda?! GET OVER IT!
*It must be Linda because she was the only person who started saying 'Punchbuggy' to Rebecca. Answer: Have you read the reviews? Somebody called 'Slytherin's-Dark-Angel' suggested that some random people go and punch Linda and/or Lara and say 'Punchbuggy' or 'Peanut'.
*Can Elizabeth have Michael Corner? Answer: Well, you seem to like him a lot, so, OK. But no sappy stuff. Next chapter.
*Rachel better get her butterbeer! Answer: No.
*There are bigger egos than Rachel's! Answer: No, that's not true.
A/N: Well, thank you for all those reviews and for cracking the 50 reviews mark! So, a special thank you must be given to these people for reviewing (in no particular order): Wandless, Evil_Dudette, Rachel Gilding, Linda DeGail, Ginny, Ginny Weasley, Georgia, SNEAKstinkiesnufflesfriends, Louise, Breanna, evilive, Slytherin's-Dark-Angel, lut-lut and luoise.
What's in this chapter?: Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms (all repeat subjects), Courtney, food, Plan EH, sleep, mis-aim, manure, angry and I.W.W.
Have fun reading this chapter - I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (if I did, I would be showering with money), nor do I own the Matrix (otherwise Courtney would be my best friend). I do not get any profit from this story, and I'm sorry if this story is damaging to anybody's ego.
WARNING: THERE IS A MATRIX SPOILER INSIDE OF HERE, SO STEAR CLEAR IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN 'THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS'. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Chapter 7 - Courtney's PoV: Welcome To My World
It was another morning. I got up and got dressed like I usually did. I yawned and looked outside the window. It was raining again - the weather was like that usually. Usually on days like this, I would look down and stare at the giant squid. But for some reason, I hadn't seen the giant squid lately.
I walked out the dormitory and headed towards the bathroom. After pulling out a new tube of toothpaste from one of the drawers under the sink (for some reason, the drawer emitted a burnt smell from in there) and brushing my teeth, I made my way downstairs.
The Great Hall had breakfast already made. The smell was already wondering the corridors.
I sat down at the Gryffindor table and started eating the food. I got my fork and started shifting around the bacon that I had placed onto my plate. Louise soon came down.
"Hi everybody!" she said in a cheery tone.
"Hi ..." I replied, my brow furrowing. "Dr Nick?" I asked uncertainly.
"Yeah!" Louise smiled and looked down at my plate. "The Matrix?" she read, looking at my carefully arranged bacon.
"Yeah!" I shouted suddenly with glee. Louise jumped back, looking worried. "I like the Matrix!" I proclaimed.
"Um, OK then." Louise replied back a little tentatively.
"My fave character is Trinity!" I continued. You just HAVE to hear about the Matrix! It's the coolest Muggle movie that I've ever seen!
"OK." Louise picked up a piece of toast and her eyes misted over. It seemed like she wasn't really listening, but that didn't matter.
"It's so sad that Trinity dies!" I cried suddenly. It was so sad! WHY? WHY MUST HAVE TRINITY DIED? TRINITY IS MY FAVOURITE! WWWHHHYYY?!
"OK." Louise picked up her butter knife and buttered another piece of toast.
"WWHHYY?!?!" I screamed, crying into Louise's shoulder.
"OK." Louise poured herself a glass of orange juice.
"WHY CAN'T TRINITY LIVE?" I continued crying, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.
"OK." Louise drank the orange juice.
"Good morning everyone!" a cheery little voice said suddenly, bounding down the stairs.
The Hall (if possible) grew more silent. Karla looked around at everyone, wondering why they weren't as happy as she was.
"How are you today?" Karla skipped up to the High Table to Professor Dumbledore.
"I'm fine, thank you, Miss Feathers." Professor Dumbledore grinned merrily at Karla.
"That's good to know, Professor!" Karla then skipped to us.
"Hi, Karla." I said miserably.
"Why aren't you happy?" Karla asked me, grinning.
"TRINITY!" I yelled sadly, then sobbed all over again.
"OK." Louise nodded and salted her bacon.
Soon, Ashlee, Elizabeth, Lara, Linda and Rachel came down the stairs. Lara grabbed a plate, piled it with food ("Ooh ... Eggs.") and made the usual treck towards the Slytherin table. What was WITH her and the Slytherin table?
~~Transfiguration~~
When the bell rang, we walked to the classroom. I looked outside - the sky was darkening and the clouds were grey. It looked like it was going to rain any second.
"Today, we'll begin some advanced Transfiguration." Professor McGonagall peered down at us through her spectacles. Great. "I will present to you an object and you will transfigure it into a living, breathing organism." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Malfoy turn a bit pale. Well, more pale then he originally was anyway.
"What's wrong?" I saw Lara mouth towards him. He mouthed something back which I couldn't figure out.
"You will now assemble into your partners." Professor McGonagall instructed.
Let me ask a question: What has the neck of a tree, arms of a tree and the brain of a dinosaur? Let me give you the answer: Gregory Goyle.
"Hi Courtney." Goyle said roughly, sounding like the village oaf.
"Yeah." I replied back dully.
Professor McGonagall came around and placed a toy mouse under my nose.
"What are we doing?" Goyle asked dumbly. I rolled my eyes.
"Just sit down and shut up." I instructed gruffly. Goyle nodded and sat down.
I looked down at the toy mouse. I suppose this was easy. All I had to do was transfigure it into a real mouse. There was only one problem: I didn't know how to do that. The closest thing that I knew was a ferret. Oh well, better give it a shot. I looked at Goyle. He was sleeping (much quicker than usual) and was emitting loud snores. I rolled my eyes and rolled up my sleeves.
I picked up my wand. I aimed it at the toy mouse. I cleared my throat.
"Ferratus!" I cried. At that exact moment, Goyle's head tipped over and landed on the table. The table shook, and I fell backwards.
The ferret spell flew off-course and zapped across the room.
"OH NO!" I screamed, as the spell found it's target.
"What the?!" Professor McGonagall fell backwards and landed on the floor.
"OH NO!" I continued screaming. Professor McGonagall started shrinking immediately. She started growing white fur, and her eyes became pink. "OH NO!!" I repeated. Then, the transformation was finished. What remained of a Transfiguration professor was a white furred, pink-eyed ferret. The class fell silent.
I gulped. Then the whole force of it all came and hit me.
I had just transfigurated my Transfiguration teacher into a ferret. A FERRET! A BLOODY FERRET!!
"Professor McGonagall?" I asked quietly to the ferret. It looked up at me accusingly, it's eyes narrowing. Yep, it was her alright.
"What did you do?" Goyle asked me dumbly.
"ME?!" I screamed. "ME?! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU AND YOU'RE STUPID SLEEPING, THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED!"
"What?" Goyle asked.
"YOU FELL ASLEEP. THEN YOUR HEAD BANGED DOWN ONTO THE DESK AND MADE ME MIS- AIM MY SPELL, YOU OAF!" I argued. He still looked confused.
"OK!" Lara yelled. "OI!"
We all fell silent.
"Somebody get the ferret and bring it to the hospital wing and tell Madame Pomfrey that it's Professor McGonagall!" Lara said. The ferret squeaked in agreement.
I nodded, scooped up the ferret and made my way out the room. I ran all the way to the Hospital Wing.
"Whatever is wrong, dear?" Madame Pomfrey asked me. I showed her the ferret. "Oh dear, looks like Mr Malfoy is a ferret yet again." she sighed, and picked up Professor McGonagall.
"What?" I asked. Then I shook my head. "That's Professor McGonagall." I said.
Madame Pomfrey's eyes widened a little bit. "What happened?"
"Um, a mis-directed spell got her and she turned into this." I explained.
"OK, then." Madame Pomfrey took the ferret and placed it onto a bed. The ferret squeaked again. "You best be going now."
I walked out of the Hospital Wing with a bad feeling inside of myself. It wasn't the fact that I had turned my Transfiguration professor into a ferret. It wasn't the fact that I'd caused a public argument with tree- dinosaur boy in the middle of the lesson. It was the fact that I was probably never going to be let out of the castle, that brought me down from my high horse.
~~Charms~~
Just as I reached the classroom, the bell rang. I grabbed my stuff and joined the others while we headed down to Charms.
I entered the room and saw tiny Professor Flitwick smiling happily at us. Let's hope this time I don't turn him into a furry mouse look-a-like.
"In Charms today," Professor Flitwick began, "we will be charming this pillow up into the air and make it do a loop into the air. Then, we will charm it back down where we will make it do cartwheels across the desk." he picked up his wand and aimed for the nearest purple pillow.
"So we'll launch the plan in Herbology?" a voice asked behind me. I turned around. It was Lara. My brow furrowed.
"Yep." Malfoy replied. My brow furrowed even more if possible. They always seemed to be planning something in the lessons.
"Wingardium Leviosa." Professor Flitwick said. He pointed his wand at the pillow, which rose up into the air. He flicked his wand in a little circle, and the pillow followed. Then the pillow floated downwards. "Carteous Mobilious!" the pillow jerked up and rose two corners which I think were supposed to be arms. It then launched itself at the table, flipping on all of its corners.
"Then the hole." Lara said behind me. I tried blocking out her voice.
Professor Flitwick swished his wand and the pillow stopped doing cartwheels and fell down, limp and lifeless.
"This is what I should be seeing!" he said as he placed the pillow back onto the pile.
Great. With my luck, I'll turn him into a tap dancing pineapple ...
I walked over and picked up a pillow. I sat down at my desk and looked at it.
"Oh, Harry!" somebody said. I turned around and saw Ashlee, looking at her pillow which Harry had charmed to flash the letters "I wuv wu!"
"EW!" I said, forgetting to restrain myself. Hold on though ... "That's like in the Matrix! Where Trinity loves Neo! But there wasn't a teddy bear with weird spelling on it's chest in it."
"Ms Hall!" Professor Flitwick said suddenly. I turned around sharply and concentrated on my pillow.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" I said, pointing my wand at the pillow. It soared up into the air. I jiggled my wand around. The pillow did a loopy-loop.
"Very good, Ms Hall!" Professor Flitwick said, impressed. "20 points to Gryffindor!"
I smiled. I swished my wand downwards and it flew back towards the table. "Carteous Mobilious!" I said and pointed my wand at the pillow. It sprang up immediately and started cartwheeling across the table. It finished with a somersault and a wonderful flourish.
"Wonderful!" Professor Flitwick gushed. "Fantastic! Add another 20 points!"
"Alright!" Rachel gave me a high five.
I looked towards to Ashlee and Harry for the latest in smooshy love acts.
The pillow (which still had the words "I wuv wu!" on it's middle) was now emitting a sickly sounding love song from it's corners.
"That's so sweet!" Ashlee said to Harry.
"It's not as sweet as you though." Harry replied, gazing into Ashlee's eyes.
"That's so romantic!"Ashlee exclaimed. "That's so nice! That's so wonderful!"
"That's so gross." Karla added.
"That's so disgusting." Linda suggested.
"That's so ew." Rachel continued.
"That's so horrible." I said.
"That's so lovesick!" Louise grimaced.
"That's so underling talk." Lara drawled. "I mean - that's so sickly sweet I think I'm going to puke." Lara ducked her head under the table and made throwing up noises.
"That's so generous!" Ashlee continued babbling to Harry, not really noticing us about to throw ourselves out of the window if she didn't shut up anytime soon.
"Ms Hillary and Mr Potter!" Professor Flitwick interrupted our brainstorming session. "Ms Feathers, Ms DeGail, Ms Gilding, Ms Hall, Ms Houston and Ms Fathersome!"
"Yes?" Louise asked.
"What are you doing?" Professor Flitwick asked, suspicious.
"Why, extending our vocabulary of course." Lara cut in smoothly.
"The truth, please." Professor Flitwick pressed on.
"Now, now," Lara interrupted, "that was a bit hyperbolised, wasn't it?"
"Very well, continue." Professor Flitwick rolled his eyes, clearing showing us that he did not know the meaning of 'hyperboly'.
Some people need to biggen their group of words.
~~Herbology~~
"Right, chappies!" Professor Sprout smiled merrily at us all. "Greenhouse 4 today!"
Greenhouse 4? There's a Greenhouse 4?
"Father kindly donated." I heard Malfoy whisper lightly to Lara. Well, that explains it.
"Now," Professor Sprout continued talking as soon as we reached Greenhouse 4. "Greenhouse 4 is a greenhouse for the deeply dangerous plants. So I advise that in today's lesson, there is to be no rampaging house elves or manure bags being upended, OK?" Elizabeth turned bright red. I saw Malfoy smoothing back his once again severly gelled blonde hair.
"Plan, OK?" Lara asked Malfoy. He nodded.
"Today we will be learning about Swallow Plants." Professor Sprout peered at us all. I saw her foot move towards the pile of Hippogriff manure near the corner of the greenhouse. "Who can tell me about Swallow Plants?"
"Swallow Plants are plants which have a deeply ferocious carnivourous appetite." Hermione Granger said without putting her hand up. "Once the victim is inside the plant's 'mouth', its digestive juices will slowly begin to eat away the prey. They also do not like dull colours, and will automatically eat anything that's wearing any dull colour."
"Very good, Ms Granger!" Professor Sprout smiled at Hermione. "20 points for Gryffindor."
"Ew." Karla wrinkled up her nose. "Why can't everyone just be happy and nice to everyone without eating each other?"
"That's just life." Linda replied.
"But that's sad!" Karla objected. "And I don't like being sad. I like being happy!"
"That's nice, Karla." Louise said. "How about this? Tralalala."
"That's good!" Karla smiled again.
"Today we will be feeding a Swallow Plant." Professor Sprout smiled - or rather grimaced - at us all. Evidently, she was expecting a house elf to barge in and object to her demand. "Now remember, these plants are extremely addicted to meat, so be careful."
I looked at everyone. Was it really THAT safe for a group of uneducated students to be feeding a plant that takes the phrase "Bite your head off" literally?
"As a precaution, you will need to wear plant scented gloves and don these robes." Professor Sprout waved her hand towards the rack of scented gloves and rainbow (literally rainbow) robes. "I'll demonstrate."
Professor Sprout pulled on a pair of scented gloves and pulled on the rainbow coloured robes. She picked up a piece of what looked like some leftover of yesterday's roast chicken and waved it around the air. The nearest Swallow Plant, which distantly resembled a Venus Fly Trap, twitched. It opened it's mouth and snapped at the air. Professor Sprout sucked in her breath and threw the chicken right into the plant's mouth. The Swallow Plant closed it's mouth instantly and there was a sound of chewing up bones.
"There you go, chappies." Professor Sprout smiled at us all and dusted off her hands. "Nothing to it."
The Swallow Plant burped and spat out the chicken bone. We all looked at each other with fear in our faces.
"Now, get to it!" Professor Sprout let us at the rainbow coloured robes and plant scented gloves.
I pulled on a robe and a pair of scented gloves.
"Now, before you go, work in pairs!" Professor Sprout instructed.
I grabbed Karla and we walked to the nearest Swallow Plant. Karla picked up a piece of chicken. She waved it around and the Swallow Plant snapped at the air. Karla screamed, and chucked the chicken at the plant. To her surprise, it landed squarely in it's mouth. It started chewing and a few minutes later, it burped and spat out the chicken bone.
"Good one, Karla!" I said as I picked up a piece of chicken.
"Thank you, Courtney." Karla smiled.
I waved the chicken around in the air when I heard a scream. I turned around and Malfoy and Harry wrestling on the greenhouse floor. I also saw the Swallow Plant in front of them drool. Oh dear.
Malfoy eventually won the wrestling match and lifted Harry up into the air.
"MR MALFOY!" Professor Sprout interrupted. "MR POTTER! RESTRAIN YOURSELVES! GET OUT OF THE WAY!"
Malfoy ignored her. "This is for all those years of being such a pain in the -"
"Harry!" Ashlee screamed and started pulling Harry's legs.
The result was Malfoy tugging madly at Harry and screaming insults at Ashlee while she was pulling at Harry's legs screaming "HARRY!". It all ended with Malfoy winning, and Harry's socks being pulled off by Ashlee.
"NO!" Ashlee cried and ran after Malfoy. She pulled out her wand.
"MS HILLARY!" Professor Sprout screamed and pulled out her own wand.
"PETRIFICUS TOTATLUS!" Lara cast the spell which knocked Professor Sprout down to the ground.
"HARRY!" Ashlee stumbled forwards and tried grabbing Harry.
Malfoy yanked him out of Ashlee's grasp. The weight of Harry sent him flying backwards into the nearest Swallow Plant. Harry flew into the air and landed into the pile of Hippogriff manure. The sacks burst open, manure spilling everywhere.
"DRACO!" Lara screeched, running towards the Swallow Plant
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Malfoy's muffled scream echoed from inside the Swallow Plant.
The scene would have been funny if Malfoy wasn't about to be dissolved into digestive juice. A huge Swallow Plant was waving it's head around, with a pair of rainbow coloured legs waving with it. A fuzzy haired girl was attacking the plant, sending spells at it, which bounced off the plant. Now instead of attacking the plant, the fuzzy haired girl was too busy ducking from the rebounded spells. There was a blonde girl trying to knock some sense into a guy on the ground with no socks on.
"COURTNEY!" Karla screamed at me. "WATCH OUT!" I turned around a little too late. Karla ran and tackled me to the floor, the Swallow Plant snapping at the air where I was just a few seconds ago. Obviously, I had forgotten that I had already waved around a piece of chicken and forgetting to give it to the plant. I chucked the piece of chicken in, hoping that it would eat it, not me.
And finally Professor Sprout had recovered from her petrified state. This was when Lara had fired a stunning spell at the seemingly indestructible Swallow Plant.
"EVERYBODY!" Professor Sprout screamed. Lara's stunning spell bounced off the plant and hit Professor Sprout squarely between the eyes. She fell down onto the ground, this time stunned.
"GET ME OUT!" Malfoy continued screaming. "MY HAIR IS GETTING RUINED!"
"YOUR HAIR GETTING RUINED IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!" Lara argued.
"WHAT MADE ME DO THIS ANYWAY?!" Malfoy shouted from inside the plant.
"PLAN EH!" Lara yelled, tugging Malfoy's legs.
"PLAN WHAT?" Malfoy screamed back.
"PLAN EH!" Lara repeated, tugging harder at Malfoy's legs.
"LOOK LARA!" Malfoy yelled, his legs waving around crazily. "I KNOW YOU'RE A SMART GIRL, SO PLEASE FINISH THIS SENTENCE! THE PLAN IS CALLED PLAN ...?"
"EH!" Lara argued. "IT'S CALLED PLAN EH!"
"EH?!" Malfoy shouted, his legs waving more crazily.
"E! H!" Lara screamed angrily at the waving legs. "ELIMINATE HARRY!"
"Elimate Harry?" Harry asked, suddenly snapping out of his trance with Ashlee.
"THAT'S IT!" Lara charmed up a sack of Hippogriff manure and used it to hit the Swallow Plant on the head with it.
The Swallow Plant instantly opened it's jaws and Malfoy flew across the greenhouse and knocked down a few shelves and their contents. Plants and dirt came falling downwards onto him. It seemed like the horror was over, until our Swallow Plant spat out it's chicken bone. It landed on Malfoy's head, like a glazed cherry on the top of a cake.
It was silent around the room now. We all looked at Malfoy. His legs were tattered, and it seemed like that the tips of his gelled hair were singed. The rainbow coloured robes were tattered and it seemed like a scented glove was stuck in his shoe. It was a close one for Plant Boy and his critically- in-need-of-a-hairdressor sidekick Fuzzy Wuzzy.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" a voice boomed throughout the greenhouse. We all looked up. Professor Dumbledore was at the threshold of the greenhouse. Silence once more.
It didn't look like the normal, calm and reassuring Dumbledore. It was the angry and non-forgiving Dumbledore that we've never seen before.
"Well ..." Lara started explaining ...
~~Lunch~~
"That was just great, everyone." Rachel said sarcastically to everyone at the table at lunch time. "It was a wonderful show."
Dumbledore had gone off his rocker after Lara explained her story. It seemed that Harry had started wrestling with Malfoy and Malfoy was defending himself when Harry threw him into the Swallow Plant. Of course, there was a look in Dumbledore's eyes that told us all that he didn't believe a single piece of babble Lara had spouted. Dumbledore then revived Professor Sprout before sending her to the Hospital Wing.
Then, Lara, Malfoy, Ashlee and Harry got a months detention and 50 points deducted from their houses. I suppose that Dumbledore was being generous. After that, the group had to stay and re-organise the greenhouse - without magic.
However, me, Elizabeth, Karla, Linda, Louise and Rachel survived and we were happily enjoying lunch.
"I wonder what will happen next to them." Elizabeth asked us. "Poor Harry." she muttered afterwards.
"Lies ponder what Bill Crappens hexed to him?" Linda asked, confused. "More Barry?! OK, who's Bill Crappens and WHO IN THE WORLD IS BARRY? AND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HIM THAT YOU WANT MORE OF HIM?!"
"Um ..." I didn't know what to say.
"BUM?!" Linda screeched back. "BUM?! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME YESTEDAY?!"
"We can hear you." Elizabeth giggled. "It's you who's as deaf as a doorknob."
"NO MORE ABOUT MENTALLY ADVANCED BODY PARTS!" Linda shouted, plainly not hearing Elizabeth and her joke.
Swallow Plants, diabolical plans, ferrets, dancing pillows, "I wuv wu!" messages, fuzzy hair, sickly love, tree-dinosaur boys and hearing problems. Welcome to my world.
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A/N: What do you think? It's the newest chapter, and I hope you had fun reading it. Review, review!! I'd like to hear your opinions on my story and any suggestions. I promise I'll TRY to include the answer in my next chapter.
Until Chapter 8 ...
~~Blue