Dating Dungbombs
Review Answers:
*Can I come and freak people out? - Sent in from the_hope_conspiracy.
Answer: OK, if I don't forget, Joeline, I'll try and include you as a guest star. =)
*I can understand that you have writer's block, but that was honestly the most boring, stupid, etc, etc chapter yet! - Sent in from Louise. Answer: Thank you for that comment. If you don't like my story that much, maybe you should reconsider checking for updates.
*Dear Blue, why didn't you include me more in the last chapter? I got a lesser mention than Louise! - Sent in from Rachel Gilding.
Answer: Are you insulting Louise by saying that she doesn't get any lines? But then again, who's counting how many lines you have every chapter. :)
*Do you hate me or something, because you said that I would get Michael Corner in the last chapter! And making me fall in love with myself is evil! - Sent in from wandless.
Answer: I said that I would IF I remembered. Looks like I didn't remember then. =)
*When does Linda get a chapter? Linda's cool! Let Linda get a chapter! - Sent in from PuNcH-bUgGy!!!
Answer: In fact, it's Linda's PoV in this chapter. :)
Summary of this chapter: In Chapter 9 we see: Linda, problem [hearing (obviously!)], Potions, DADA (finally!), Care of Magical Creatures, M.C., partner, oh no and repitition.
A/N: Can you believe it? Chapter 9 already! As you may have noticed, I have deleted the old Chapter 5 (which was an Author's Note) and replaced it with Chapter 6, making the Chapter numbers reduce downwards. So, this should be Chapter 10 (meaning that 'DD' has reached it's dark ages), but it is really Chapter 9 now. :( Oh well, that doesnt matter though, because Dating Dungbombs is still here. Break out the champagne next chapter and cut the cake, next chapter enters double digits.
Anyway, this chapter has a lesson which has been avoided (Care of Magical Creatures), as I don't want to write Hagrid's accent. Why? Well, mainly because it would probably come off as a cheap imitation. So, as a result, I've decided that somebody should come and replace Hagrid ("NO!" scream all the Hagrid fans) with somebody who can't teach. *cough* Cummins impersonator *cough* =) Oh, and in Potions, the section will be fairly short. As well as Potions, the DADA section is also fairly crappy, as I'm too lazy to write more. I also have extra rehearsals for something, so when I get home, I'm pretty pooped.
As well as that, I've decided that I will post up chapters randomly from now on, so it could be earlier than Wednesday, or later.
So enjoy this chapter and I hope I'll hear more from you all soon!
Until Chapter 10 ...
~~Blue
P.S. Hint: If you review to my email, you will get a personalised response. :)
P.P.S. HI STEPHANIE!!!
P.P.P.S. HI VICTORIA!!!
P.P.P.P.S. HI DR NICK!!!
P.P.P.P.P.S. Hi mum. :)
No infringement intended.
Chapter 9 - Linda's PoV: CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?!
The sun rose up early in the morning. I opened my eyes and got out of bed to look out the window. It was another rainy looking day, and all the students were inside, enjoying the warmth of the Great Hall and breakfast.
I yawned and searched for the giant squid. Within the murkey depths of the Lake, I saw what appeared to be the squid. However, it's tentacles seemed to be bandaged. Then a few house elves came out and placed a thermometer into one of it's suction pads on it's tentacles.
I shook my head. Things were getting way too freaky for my liking. I walked to the bathroom and started brushing my teeth.
"Pinhead." somebody said. I spun around and saw Hermione Granger on the threshold of the bathroom.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" I asked, shaking with anger. Hermione sort of rolled her eyes.
"LINDA!" she supposedly 'repeated' in a louder voice.
"Oh." I replied and blinked. "What is it that you wanted?"
"I want to know if I could quickly grab a tube of toothpaste." Hermione responded, giving me a smile.
"Oh." I repeated. I fondled around and fished out a tube of toothpaste. I handed it over to her.
"Banks." she said to me before trotting off.
Wait. BANKS?!
Oh well, might as well let it go.
I went down to breakfast to catch Karla interrogating tiny Professor Flitwick.
"How are you today?" she asked him happily.
"Fine, thank you, Ms Feathers." Professor Flitwick replied squeakily with a crooked smile.
"That's good to know!" Karla smiled and then sat down at the same time I did.
"Hi, Karla." I said to her.
"Bye, Pinhead." Karla leaned over the table to grab a piece of toast.
Bye, Pinhead. BYE PINHEAD. BYE PINHEAD?!
"WHAT?!" I screeched at her. Where did she get off insulting me?
"I said," Karla replied in between bites, " 'Hi, Linda.' What's wrong with you?"
"Oh." I said for about the third time that day. "Sorry." I leaned over myself to grab a few rashers of bacon.
"Hi, Linda!" Rachel said to me as she sat down next to me.
"Hi, Rachel." I said as I piled more eggs onto my plate. At least SHE could go without insulting me.
"What lessons do we have today?" she asked as she poured herself some orange juice.
"We have ..." I flushed out my timetable from my bag. "Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures."
"Wood." she replied and started drinking.
"WHAT?" I asked. Wood? What was that supposed to mean? Rachel choked on her orange juice.
"I said 'Good.', Linda!" she said, wiping her mouth.
"Oh, sorry." I blushed a deep tomato colour.
"Gimme!" I heard a voice. I turned around and saw Lara sprinting (yes, I said 'sprinting') over to our table.
"What the ...?" Rachel said, looking at Lara.
"Lara can run?" Louise asked incredulously as she sat herself down at the table.
I nodded. Ashlee plopped down next to me soon.
"Hey, I'm still getting over the fact that Lara's got enough energy to breathe." she said casually.
"It all works." I smiled at them all.
"KIPPERS!" Lara screamed and ran over to pile her plate. We all rolled our eyes.
"Hi." Harry said as he walked over to us.
"Oh." Ashlee replied, a little scared of him. "Hi."
"Yeah." Harry looked around uncomfortably. "Erm ... I think Ron's calling me ..."
Rachel looked around. "Ron isn't here."
"That's the, um, point." Harry's eyes darted around frantically. "He's, um, erm, he's ..."
"Yes?" Courtney asked as she sat herself next to Karla.
"Stuck in a toilet." Harry blurted out, hoping that this would be a suitable escape route. He turned red. I raised my eyebrows. Stuck in a toilet?
"Stuck in a toilet?" Louise repeated saracastically.
I looked around. There was an empty space next to me. Where was Ashlee?
"Ashlee!" I called out. I felt something move under the table. "YARGH!" I screamed.
"What's wrong?" Courtney asked me.
"Something under the table is moving!" I screamed. I looked down. It was only Ashlee, hanging her head in shame. I sighed. What a relief.
"EW!" Ashlee suddenly screamed. "GUM!" she proclaimed, jumping out from under the table, gum stuck to her golden brown hair.
"Um, yeah." Harry started shuffling towards the exit of the Hall. "Ron, erm, needs me to ..."
"Get him out?" I suggested, raising my eyebrows.
"Er ... Yeah." Harry said, deciding to cling onto my suggestion. "Get him out, yeah ..."
And off he went - no - ran, to the exit. We all looked at each other. Boys are weird. Ashlee's head was hanging in shame.
"How could I ever like that guy?!" she asked.
"There, there." I said in a monotone. "There, there. It was just the drugs kicking in."
"Hello, everybody." Elizabeth said distantly.
"Speaking of drugs kicking in ..." Louise said.
"Don't you just think that I have the best hair in the world?" Liz asked as she smoothed her hand through it.
"What do you mean?" we all looked at her with a worried look on her face.
"Can't you see it?" she asked us, shocked. We stared blankly back.
"I mean, my hair just goes so well with my eyes and my perfect complexion ..." Liz gushed.
Oh for crying out loud. Looks like there IS an ego that's bigger than Rachel's. Woah! I'd never think that I'd say that ...
~~Potions~~
After breakfast, we all made our to the dungeons. Elizabeth was really sluggish to get there, as she was stopping to check her reflection and making sure that it was perfect.
We all sat down in our usual seats and waited for Professor Snape to get there. Our Potions class had been combined recently, so we had people from all the houses to be in our class.
Elizabeth conjured up herself a mirror. She stared lovingly into it as we all pretended to throw up into our cauldrons. However, she wasn't the only person to be staring at herself. [A/N: Smooshiness returns! Heheh. :)]
Michael Corner came and walked over to Elizabeth, who was busy smoothing her hair and staring deep into her own eyes. She didn't really notice when a head came into view behind herself in the mirror.
"Hi." Michael said. Elizabeth didn't reply - she was making sure that strand of her was directly in the right place. Michael frowned. "Hi?" he repeated, this time a little louder.
"Oh, hello." Elizabeth said in that distant voice. "I was just checking out my reflection. Don't you think that it looks simply divine?"
"Yes." Michael replied, looking like he actually meant it. [A/N: EEEWWW!!!]
Courtney started coughing and ducked her head under the table to laugh uncontrollably. Ashlee picked up her Potions textbook with a straight face and calmed whacked Courtney on the back of the neck with it.
"That's good to know." Elizabeth turned back to her mirror. "Ahh ...
"You know," Michael decided to stike up a conversation, "you're really pretty!"
"I know!" Elizabeth replied.
It was at that point in time, everybody else in the class (including Harry) began to choke uncontrollably.
"Ew." Louise wrinkled her nose at Elizabeth.
"What?!" Rachel asked, in that annoying try-hard American accent that we hadn't heard from in ages. She muscled her way up to Michael. "Hi, my name's Rachel. You wouldn't want to talk to Liz. You'd rather be talking to me." Michael stepped back.
"Maybe you could try talking to some mouth wash." he coughed, and walked off to sit down and stare at Liz from afar.
After a few minutes, the dungeon door swung open and Snape came inside, his black robes billowing after him.
"Good morning." he said as usual, flicking open his copy of the textbook. We all mumbled back a greeting. Well, almost all of us. Elizabeth was still looking into the mirror. "Ms Fields." Snape cleared his throat.
"Mirror, mirror, in my hand ..." Elizabeth started chanting hypnotically.
"MS FIELDS!" Snape snapped.
"Who's the prettiest in the land?" Elizabeth sighed, and started at herself into the mirror.
"We would love to hear who the prettiest being in the land is, Ms Fields," Snape said icily, "but we have a lesson to go on with. Accio, mirror!" The mirror flew out of Elizabeth's hands, who protested immediately. We all kicked her under the table. What is with her these days?
"20 points from Gryffindor!" Snape hissed diabolically and picked up a piece of chalk. He began writing on the blackboard. "And let's hope that you'll never do that again Ms Fields, otherwise it will be more points next time."
"No!" Elizabeth whispered sadly. "I needed to make sure that that strand was in it's perfect place! Why?!" We rolled our eyes yet again.
"Today," Snape started his lessen, "we will be learning about the Love Potion." Ashlee and Harry instantly looked at each other with looks of awe. Then they quickly turned their heads in the opposite direction.
So that was it! Somebody had slipped a Love Potion into their drinks or food!
"Crab's bit!" Ashlee whispered to me.
"What?" I asked her again, my face wrinkling.
"THAT'S IT!" she whispered again to me in a louder voice.
"Oh." I blinked. "What's it?"
"Somebody slipped some Love Potion into me and Harry's drink or food! That's why we were so ..." Ashlee pulled a face, showing herself totally in love with an imaginary person in front of her. Unfortunately, there was actually a real person to where she was staring at.
"Got a problem there, Hillary?" Draco Malfoy sneered, a look of mild amusement plastered all over his face. Ashlee shook her head and adapted a hostile tone.
"No, thank you, Malfoy." she spat back and went on talking to me. "Look, all we need to do is find the person who did this, and then I can ..." Ashlee started strangling another imaginary person.
"Ooh, Fiesty, aren't you?" Malfoy asked her again, smirking again. Ashlee rolled her eyes.
"I wouldn't talk if I were you, Plant Boy." I sneered at him, a look of triumph upon my face. Malfoy scowled and turned away.
"What's going on over there?" Snape snapped. We all looked up.
"Nothing, Professor Snape." Ashlee said to him, staring directly into his eye. Snape stared back and nodded eventually.
"Good, then you can tell me what the potion which we are currently talking about does." Snape bared his teeth unpleasantly, sort of like how an alligator does so before eating something ... or somebody.
"The Love Potion has the properties inside of it that can make one person or two people fall in love with each other. The people will not know what has happened, and will have no recollection of what had happen, either." Ashlee explained in a calm manner, making a famous impersonation of Hermione. "There is an antidote to the potion, and it can only be that antidote that will reverse the effects of the potion." Snape's nostrils flared a little bit.
"Very good, for once, Ms Hillary." he said. "10 points to Gryffindor."
"How did you do that?" Rachel asked Ashlee.
"I'm not THAT dumb, you know." Ashlee replied snobbily.
"Yeah," Lara agreed on the other side of Ashlee, smirking, "the 'Dumbest Person in Hogwarts' place is already filled by Rachel."
"Tell me, Ms Hillary," Snape pressed onwards, "you talk about the Love Potion like you've experienced it before." The class was silent, even Elizabeth looked up from her reflection from her cauldron. Her eyes seemed to mist over.
"The text books are very descriptive." Ashlee replied, with a hint of victory in her voice. She raised her eyebrow, daring Snape to challenge.
"Very well." Snape sneered, and continued with the lesson.
~~Defense Against the Dark Arts~~
After Potions, we all packed our bags and walked to the DADA classroom. Karla knocked the door.
"Hello?" she asked in her sweet voice. "Is anybody there?"
"Come in, please." A voice wafted from inside the classroom.
"Well, that's always nice to know!" Karla smiled and walked inside the room, with us behind her.
As soon as the entire class was in the room, the door closed by itself. No big deal. Now ... where was the teacher? We all looked around; the teacher was nowhere to be seen.
"Hello?" Courtney asked, looking around. "Professor Boogie?" There was no response. All of a sudden, a chair that was at the end of the classroom flew across the room, aiming for our heads.
"Aaarrrgghhh!! " we all screamed and ducked downwards. The chair aimed again and flew towards us.
"Aaarrrgghhh!!" we screamed again.
Hermione pulled out her wand and aimed at it.
"STUPEFY!" she cried, and her wand shot a red stunning spell at the possessed chair. The spell merely bounched off and zoomed at it's caster, just like the Swallow Plants. Too bad this time there weren't any bags of Hippogriff manure ...
Hermione gave a little frightened squeak and hurled herself at a piece of floor 5 feet away. She rolled around the floor and landed near the teacher's desk.
"Peeves!" Harry hissed, pulling out his wand. "Show yourself, Peeves!" the chair continued moving around, dangerously close to the ceiling.
"We'll get the Bloody Baron, Peeves!" Ron threatened, pulling out his own wand. The chair did a 360 degree spin, as if it were teasing Ron and Harry.
"Fine!" Harry aimed his wand at the chair. "Wing-"
"No, Harry!" Hermione cried as she jumped up. "The chair isn't being held by Peeves!"
"Oh yeah?" Ron asked as he aimed his wand as well. "Prove it!"
Hermione's held titled ever so slightly towards the teacher's desk. I looked down at it. The chair at the teacher's desk was tilted onto 2 legs, making it look like somebody was sitting on it, with their own legs upon the desk. Except, the person didn't really seem to be there.
I poked Louise to sort of tell her to look at the chair. Her eyes widened. She nodded. We moved quietly towards the chair.
"1." I whispered to her.
"2." Louise's hand and my hand reached down towards the tilted chair.
"3!" we both tugged off the invisibility cloak that the person was wearing. At once, the chair fell limp upon the floor.
"Very good, indeed." Professor Boogie smiled at us. "Excellent effort."
Me, Louise and Hermione blushed.
"Let me introduce myself." Professor Boogie stood up. "My name is Professor Andy Boogie."
"Hello, Professor Boogie!" Rachel shoved her way up to him. "My name's Rachel. You should get to know me better - I'm going to come up a lot from now on, because of my grades." Rachel puffed out her chest, losing all dignity. Professor Boogie mentally raised an eyebrow.
"Hi, I'm Elizabeth." Elizabeth strode up to Professor Boogie and pushed back her hair. "I'm the one with the best hair, best complexion, best eyes, best grades, best ..."
"OK, OK." Professor Boogie interrupted. "Now, let's start today's lesson."
"Best Quidditch talents, best Charms student ..." Elizabeth was still ticking off from her list.
"Today, we'll be learning about Gimliwhipples." Professor Boogie looked at us all. "Can anybody tell me what a Gimliwhipple is?" Instantly, Hermione's arm shot up into the air, waving around frantically.
"Gimliwhipples are little dwarves that wonder around, envoking battles with other species, which are often bigger and more bloodthirsty than they." Hermione quoted from the DADA book in a voice that plainly said 'go and challenge THAT, Ashlee!'. "As a result, Gimliwhipples are extremely rare."
"Very good, er, Ms -"
"Granger." Hermione provided snobbily. "Hermione Granger."
"Well, very well done, Ms Granger."
"Thank you, Professor." Hermione beamed.
"Now, let's get started with looking at Gimliwhipples in the textbook ..."
~~Care of Magical Creatures~~
After DADA and homework which consisted of an essay about the process of close extinction of Gimliwhipples, our class walked onto the lawn to Care of Magical Creatures. We were all expecting Hagrid playing at his hut, but when we all arrived, all we saw that was the closest thing to a teacher was a broomstick and a briefcase.
"Hello, everybody." a face appeared from the side of the hut. But it wasn't the shaggy haired, crinkly eyed face of Hagrid. It was the face of a squat old lady with black hair, age spots and glasses. She also had horrible fashion sense. She was wearing a bright neon green and pink spotted jumper over a blue jumpsuit. All the girls shuddered at her clothes while the guys were wondering what planet she had arrived from.
"Where's Hagrid?" Harry asked. He saw Ashlee looking at him. They immediately averted each other eyes, scowling.
"Don't interrupt me!" the squat lady snapped. "I'm trying to teach you something and I can't do that unless you be quiet and lesson."
"Goodness forbid that we actually learn something." I muttered to myself.
"Great, now you've made me lose my train of thought!" the witch grumbled. Harry put up his hand. "What is it?!" she snapped again.
"Where's Hagrid?" Harry repeated himself. The witch scowled.
" 'Hagrid' is not here." the witch said patronizingly. "Why else would I be here?" I had a sudden, mad urge to go and strangle this mystery psycho.
"What's your name?" Louise asked.
"My name is Professor M. Edusa." Professor Edusa introduced. "I will be teaching you for the year."
"The year?!" we asked, astonished. I could barely last 30 seconds (literally) around her, yet she said that she was sticking around for the entire YEAR!
This was just great.
"Yes!" Edusa cried at us all. "Now will you PLEASE be quiet while I try and teach you girls something, unlike 'Hagrid' or whatever his name is, ever did." We were all shocked. How could she insult one of her co-workers like that? Harry, Ron and Hermione started stuttering uncontrollably.
"Books hike, dear Bin Door, a runny bear." Louise whispered to me.
"WHAT?!" I hissed her. Seriously, these people should stop talking abou gibberish once in a while.
"Looks like we're in for a fun year!" Louise repeated, rolling her eyes.
"Oh." I said for the millionth time. "OK."
"STOP TALKING!" Professor Edusa interrupted me.
"Sorry." I replied guiltily. I could practically see the 'So you should be' look on her face. She turned around, and I started pulling faces. Rachel and Louise started laughing.
"Anyway, before you all rudely interrupted me," Professor Edusa said to us all, "today we will begin work on Ploonies. What's a Ploony?" Hermione shot up her hand again in record time.
"Ploonies are creatures which are deeply lazy creatures. If not found eating, they will be found sleeping." Hermione quoted, not even bothering to wait until Professor Edusa had picked her.
"You do not talk unless you are told to!" she grumbled. "50 points from Gryffindor!" Our mouths fell open. The Slytherins started smirking. The evil psycho!
Hermione looked deeply offended. She reached into her robes and pulled out her wand. I saw inspecting it closely, restraining herself from cursing Professor Edusa into oblivion.
"Now, can anybody answer my question when I ask them to?" Edusa said sharply. Malfoy put up his hand. "Yes?" she asked him.
"Ploonies are creatures which are deeply lazy creatures. If not found eating, they will be found sleeping." Malfoy quoted from Hermione. Hermione looked deeply offended.
"Very good!" Professor Edusa smiled. "25 points to Slytherin!" The Gryffindors looked outraged at Malfoy gaining so much points from Hermion's answer. The Slytherins were esctatic on Malfoy gaining so much points from Hermione's answer.
"Nice try, Granger." Malfoy smirked. Hermione scowled.
"Now, to start our work on Ploonies, I will be partnering you up with people from a different house to the one that you belong to currently. This will help you to get to know the people from the other classes." Professor Edusa smiled toothily at us. "Now, I have a list here ..." she pulled out her wand and produced a piece of paper with scribbles on it from no where.
"Oh this should be interesting." Lara smirked.
"These people are in no particular order." Edusa cleared her throat.
"Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy ..." Louise closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.
"Hermione Granger - Michael Corner."
"Lavendar Brown - Justin Finch-Fletchley."
"Ronald Weasley - Parvati Patil."
"Harry Potter - Padma Patil."
"Lara Fathersome -" Lara crossed her fingers. "Gregory Goyle." Lara's faced drooped. Hahaha!
"Linda DeGail -" I was too busy laughing internally. "Draco Malfoy." I stopped laughing. Oh crap.
"Wh-wh-what?" I asked, shocked. Malfoy didn't look too impressed either.
"Ashlee Hillary - Hannah Abbot."
"Rachel Gilding - Susan Bones."
"Courtney Hall - Blaise Zabini."
"Karla Feathers - Vincent Crabbe." I would laugh, except for the fact that I got Malfoy. MALFOY. MALFOY! I MEAN, HONESTLY, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!
"Louise Houston - Terry Boot."
"Elizabeth Fields - Mandy Brocklehurst."
The list continued like this until the list finished with Neville Longbottom being paired up with Sally-Anne Perks.
"You will start today's lesson with your partners. I will be handing you your own Ploony." Edusa waved her hand over to some brown coloured animals that looked like hogs. "This lesson, merely let your Ploony sleep. In the meantime, talk to your partner and get to know them better." I groaned. Wonderful.
Professor Edusa then walked off and started pulling out some test papers and got out herself a quill that marked instantly. Suddenly, I felt something grip my wrists.
"Nice to talk again, partner." Malfoy said nastily. I pushed my elbows back and got him in the stomach.
"Always a pleasure, psycho." I said sarcastically. He let go of my arms.
"Looks like we're really going to enjoy this, aren't we?" he asked, sitting down onto the grass.
"What do you think?" I asked him. I charmed a stake into the grass and chained our Ploony there. It looked up at me with it's soft brown eyes. The eyes eventually became droopy, and pretty soon, the Ploony had fallen asleep.
"Ooh, you ARE fiesty!" his eyes glinted with mischief.
"What?!" I screamed. "Where did THAT come from?" I asked. He smirked.
"Freaking people out is my daily ritual." Malfoy sneered. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, well you do it well enough." I said. "All they have to do is look at you." Malfoy's eyes narrowed.
"You're going to pay for that." he said in a threatening voice.
"Yeah, right." I said sarcastically.
The rest of the lesson was spent like this - arguing ourselves insane. Isn't that wonderful?
~~Lunch~~
Finally after about half an hour of Malfoy nagging me stupid, I packed up and returned my Ploony. It gave me a lazy smile before re-entering the box. It's so cute! The Ploony I mean, not Malfoy. [A/N: *shudder*]
"See you next lesson, partner." Malfoy smirked.
"Rightio then, psycho!" I said sarcastically, shooting him the glare of death. He laughed and walked off with Lara.
Lara must have some twisted brain to be friends with that guy.
"How was Malfoy?" Louise asked me.
"Horrible." I said. I started strangling thin air. "He's so annoying!"
"Not only are you fiesty, but you've got attitude!" Malfoy shouted from in front of me.
"Panda leering, lob them?" I asked Louise. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Clever behind." she said.
"I SAID IT 2 DAYS AGO!" I screeched. "NO MORE TALKING ABOUT MENTALLY ADVANCED BODY PARTS!" Louise rolled her eyes.
We entered the Great Hall to lunch. I picked at my fruit and juice. I looked up. Michael Corner was trying to talk Liz into a date. Too bad that she seemed to be too busy staring into her reflection in her goblet.
"How about next Hogsmeade weekend?" Michael asked her sweetly.
"Can you believe that I have no pimples?" Liz asked. "My skin is just so silky smooth and gorgeous ..."
"It is." Michael said. [A/N:EEEEEWWWW!!!!] "Look. Just one pitcher of butterbeer at Hogsmeade?" he asked.
"OK, then." Elizabeth said and smoothed down her clothes.
"HHHEEELLLOOO!!!" out of nowhere, a girl with red hair and blonde coloured ends jumped out.
"YARGH!" we all screamed. Who the heck is THAT?
"Who are YOU?" Courtney asked.
"I'm Joeline." Joeline smiled evilly at them. OK ...
"What did you want?" Ashlee asked her.
"Nothing really." Joeline gave them an evil smile and then walked off. Some people are really weird ...
"Low on many days ... Maize is nearly a mind of lice, if Lous makes away the bowl toy bling and Avery will sing." Courtney said.
WHAT? Honestly, people these days should learn to talk louder!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: That's the end of Chapter 9! Yay! Which means ... next chapter, the fanfic enters the Dark Ages! Sure, the fic is supposed to be in Chapter 13 at least for it to be in the Dark Ages, but I simply can't wait at the moment. =) So, next week I'm celebrating! I might, I say MIGHT be releasing more clues about who I am. And, near the end of the fic, you would have seen some hearing problem sentences, but I did not provide the answers. See if you can work it out. If you can't, just email the question to me about it and I will try and get back to you as soon as possible.
So, until the Dark Ages ...
~~Blue - Author of Dating Dungbombs and Believer in Awkward Love Triangles.
Review Answers:
*Can I come and freak people out? - Sent in from the_hope_conspiracy.
Answer: OK, if I don't forget, Joeline, I'll try and include you as a guest star. =)
*I can understand that you have writer's block, but that was honestly the most boring, stupid, etc, etc chapter yet! - Sent in from Louise. Answer: Thank you for that comment. If you don't like my story that much, maybe you should reconsider checking for updates.
*Dear Blue, why didn't you include me more in the last chapter? I got a lesser mention than Louise! - Sent in from Rachel Gilding.
Answer: Are you insulting Louise by saying that she doesn't get any lines? But then again, who's counting how many lines you have every chapter. :)
*Do you hate me or something, because you said that I would get Michael Corner in the last chapter! And making me fall in love with myself is evil! - Sent in from wandless.
Answer: I said that I would IF I remembered. Looks like I didn't remember then. =)
*When does Linda get a chapter? Linda's cool! Let Linda get a chapter! - Sent in from PuNcH-bUgGy!!!
Answer: In fact, it's Linda's PoV in this chapter. :)
Summary of this chapter: In Chapter 9 we see: Linda, problem [hearing (obviously!)], Potions, DADA (finally!), Care of Magical Creatures, M.C., partner, oh no and repitition.
A/N: Can you believe it? Chapter 9 already! As you may have noticed, I have deleted the old Chapter 5 (which was an Author's Note) and replaced it with Chapter 6, making the Chapter numbers reduce downwards. So, this should be Chapter 10 (meaning that 'DD' has reached it's dark ages), but it is really Chapter 9 now. :( Oh well, that doesnt matter though, because Dating Dungbombs is still here. Break out the champagne next chapter and cut the cake, next chapter enters double digits.
Anyway, this chapter has a lesson which has been avoided (Care of Magical Creatures), as I don't want to write Hagrid's accent. Why? Well, mainly because it would probably come off as a cheap imitation. So, as a result, I've decided that somebody should come and replace Hagrid ("NO!" scream all the Hagrid fans) with somebody who can't teach. *cough* Cummins impersonator *cough* =) Oh, and in Potions, the section will be fairly short. As well as Potions, the DADA section is also fairly crappy, as I'm too lazy to write more. I also have extra rehearsals for something, so when I get home, I'm pretty pooped.
As well as that, I've decided that I will post up chapters randomly from now on, so it could be earlier than Wednesday, or later.
So enjoy this chapter and I hope I'll hear more from you all soon!
Until Chapter 10 ...
~~Blue
P.S. Hint: If you review to my email, you will get a personalised response. :)
P.P.S. HI STEPHANIE!!!
P.P.P.S. HI VICTORIA!!!
P.P.P.P.S. HI DR NICK!!!
P.P.P.P.P.S. Hi mum. :)
No infringement intended.
Chapter 9 - Linda's PoV: CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?!
The sun rose up early in the morning. I opened my eyes and got out of bed to look out the window. It was another rainy looking day, and all the students were inside, enjoying the warmth of the Great Hall and breakfast.
I yawned and searched for the giant squid. Within the murkey depths of the Lake, I saw what appeared to be the squid. However, it's tentacles seemed to be bandaged. Then a few house elves came out and placed a thermometer into one of it's suction pads on it's tentacles.
I shook my head. Things were getting way too freaky for my liking. I walked to the bathroom and started brushing my teeth.
"Pinhead." somebody said. I spun around and saw Hermione Granger on the threshold of the bathroom.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" I asked, shaking with anger. Hermione sort of rolled her eyes.
"LINDA!" she supposedly 'repeated' in a louder voice.
"Oh." I replied and blinked. "What is it that you wanted?"
"I want to know if I could quickly grab a tube of toothpaste." Hermione responded, giving me a smile.
"Oh." I repeated. I fondled around and fished out a tube of toothpaste. I handed it over to her.
"Banks." she said to me before trotting off.
Wait. BANKS?!
Oh well, might as well let it go.
I went down to breakfast to catch Karla interrogating tiny Professor Flitwick.
"How are you today?" she asked him happily.
"Fine, thank you, Ms Feathers." Professor Flitwick replied squeakily with a crooked smile.
"That's good to know!" Karla smiled and then sat down at the same time I did.
"Hi, Karla." I said to her.
"Bye, Pinhead." Karla leaned over the table to grab a piece of toast.
Bye, Pinhead. BYE PINHEAD. BYE PINHEAD?!
"WHAT?!" I screeched at her. Where did she get off insulting me?
"I said," Karla replied in between bites, " 'Hi, Linda.' What's wrong with you?"
"Oh." I said for about the third time that day. "Sorry." I leaned over myself to grab a few rashers of bacon.
"Hi, Linda!" Rachel said to me as she sat down next to me.
"Hi, Rachel." I said as I piled more eggs onto my plate. At least SHE could go without insulting me.
"What lessons do we have today?" she asked as she poured herself some orange juice.
"We have ..." I flushed out my timetable from my bag. "Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures."
"Wood." she replied and started drinking.
"WHAT?" I asked. Wood? What was that supposed to mean? Rachel choked on her orange juice.
"I said 'Good.', Linda!" she said, wiping her mouth.
"Oh, sorry." I blushed a deep tomato colour.
"Gimme!" I heard a voice. I turned around and saw Lara sprinting (yes, I said 'sprinting') over to our table.
"What the ...?" Rachel said, looking at Lara.
"Lara can run?" Louise asked incredulously as she sat herself down at the table.
I nodded. Ashlee plopped down next to me soon.
"Hey, I'm still getting over the fact that Lara's got enough energy to breathe." she said casually.
"It all works." I smiled at them all.
"KIPPERS!" Lara screamed and ran over to pile her plate. We all rolled our eyes.
"Hi." Harry said as he walked over to us.
"Oh." Ashlee replied, a little scared of him. "Hi."
"Yeah." Harry looked around uncomfortably. "Erm ... I think Ron's calling me ..."
Rachel looked around. "Ron isn't here."
"That's the, um, point." Harry's eyes darted around frantically. "He's, um, erm, he's ..."
"Yes?" Courtney asked as she sat herself next to Karla.
"Stuck in a toilet." Harry blurted out, hoping that this would be a suitable escape route. He turned red. I raised my eyebrows. Stuck in a toilet?
"Stuck in a toilet?" Louise repeated saracastically.
I looked around. There was an empty space next to me. Where was Ashlee?
"Ashlee!" I called out. I felt something move under the table. "YARGH!" I screamed.
"What's wrong?" Courtney asked me.
"Something under the table is moving!" I screamed. I looked down. It was only Ashlee, hanging her head in shame. I sighed. What a relief.
"EW!" Ashlee suddenly screamed. "GUM!" she proclaimed, jumping out from under the table, gum stuck to her golden brown hair.
"Um, yeah." Harry started shuffling towards the exit of the Hall. "Ron, erm, needs me to ..."
"Get him out?" I suggested, raising my eyebrows.
"Er ... Yeah." Harry said, deciding to cling onto my suggestion. "Get him out, yeah ..."
And off he went - no - ran, to the exit. We all looked at each other. Boys are weird. Ashlee's head was hanging in shame.
"How could I ever like that guy?!" she asked.
"There, there." I said in a monotone. "There, there. It was just the drugs kicking in."
"Hello, everybody." Elizabeth said distantly.
"Speaking of drugs kicking in ..." Louise said.
"Don't you just think that I have the best hair in the world?" Liz asked as she smoothed her hand through it.
"What do you mean?" we all looked at her with a worried look on her face.
"Can't you see it?" she asked us, shocked. We stared blankly back.
"I mean, my hair just goes so well with my eyes and my perfect complexion ..." Liz gushed.
Oh for crying out loud. Looks like there IS an ego that's bigger than Rachel's. Woah! I'd never think that I'd say that ...
~~Potions~~
After breakfast, we all made our to the dungeons. Elizabeth was really sluggish to get there, as she was stopping to check her reflection and making sure that it was perfect.
We all sat down in our usual seats and waited for Professor Snape to get there. Our Potions class had been combined recently, so we had people from all the houses to be in our class.
Elizabeth conjured up herself a mirror. She stared lovingly into it as we all pretended to throw up into our cauldrons. However, she wasn't the only person to be staring at herself. [A/N: Smooshiness returns! Heheh. :)]
Michael Corner came and walked over to Elizabeth, who was busy smoothing her hair and staring deep into her own eyes. She didn't really notice when a head came into view behind herself in the mirror.
"Hi." Michael said. Elizabeth didn't reply - she was making sure that strand of her was directly in the right place. Michael frowned. "Hi?" he repeated, this time a little louder.
"Oh, hello." Elizabeth said in that distant voice. "I was just checking out my reflection. Don't you think that it looks simply divine?"
"Yes." Michael replied, looking like he actually meant it. [A/N: EEEWWW!!!]
Courtney started coughing and ducked her head under the table to laugh uncontrollably. Ashlee picked up her Potions textbook with a straight face and calmed whacked Courtney on the back of the neck with it.
"That's good to know." Elizabeth turned back to her mirror. "Ahh ...
"You know," Michael decided to stike up a conversation, "you're really pretty!"
"I know!" Elizabeth replied.
It was at that point in time, everybody else in the class (including Harry) began to choke uncontrollably.
"Ew." Louise wrinkled her nose at Elizabeth.
"What?!" Rachel asked, in that annoying try-hard American accent that we hadn't heard from in ages. She muscled her way up to Michael. "Hi, my name's Rachel. You wouldn't want to talk to Liz. You'd rather be talking to me." Michael stepped back.
"Maybe you could try talking to some mouth wash." he coughed, and walked off to sit down and stare at Liz from afar.
After a few minutes, the dungeon door swung open and Snape came inside, his black robes billowing after him.
"Good morning." he said as usual, flicking open his copy of the textbook. We all mumbled back a greeting. Well, almost all of us. Elizabeth was still looking into the mirror. "Ms Fields." Snape cleared his throat.
"Mirror, mirror, in my hand ..." Elizabeth started chanting hypnotically.
"MS FIELDS!" Snape snapped.
"Who's the prettiest in the land?" Elizabeth sighed, and started at herself into the mirror.
"We would love to hear who the prettiest being in the land is, Ms Fields," Snape said icily, "but we have a lesson to go on with. Accio, mirror!" The mirror flew out of Elizabeth's hands, who protested immediately. We all kicked her under the table. What is with her these days?
"20 points from Gryffindor!" Snape hissed diabolically and picked up a piece of chalk. He began writing on the blackboard. "And let's hope that you'll never do that again Ms Fields, otherwise it will be more points next time."
"No!" Elizabeth whispered sadly. "I needed to make sure that that strand was in it's perfect place! Why?!" We rolled our eyes yet again.
"Today," Snape started his lessen, "we will be learning about the Love Potion." Ashlee and Harry instantly looked at each other with looks of awe. Then they quickly turned their heads in the opposite direction.
So that was it! Somebody had slipped a Love Potion into their drinks or food!
"Crab's bit!" Ashlee whispered to me.
"What?" I asked her again, my face wrinkling.
"THAT'S IT!" she whispered again to me in a louder voice.
"Oh." I blinked. "What's it?"
"Somebody slipped some Love Potion into me and Harry's drink or food! That's why we were so ..." Ashlee pulled a face, showing herself totally in love with an imaginary person in front of her. Unfortunately, there was actually a real person to where she was staring at.
"Got a problem there, Hillary?" Draco Malfoy sneered, a look of mild amusement plastered all over his face. Ashlee shook her head and adapted a hostile tone.
"No, thank you, Malfoy." she spat back and went on talking to me. "Look, all we need to do is find the person who did this, and then I can ..." Ashlee started strangling another imaginary person.
"Ooh, Fiesty, aren't you?" Malfoy asked her again, smirking again. Ashlee rolled her eyes.
"I wouldn't talk if I were you, Plant Boy." I sneered at him, a look of triumph upon my face. Malfoy scowled and turned away.
"What's going on over there?" Snape snapped. We all looked up.
"Nothing, Professor Snape." Ashlee said to him, staring directly into his eye. Snape stared back and nodded eventually.
"Good, then you can tell me what the potion which we are currently talking about does." Snape bared his teeth unpleasantly, sort of like how an alligator does so before eating something ... or somebody.
"The Love Potion has the properties inside of it that can make one person or two people fall in love with each other. The people will not know what has happened, and will have no recollection of what had happen, either." Ashlee explained in a calm manner, making a famous impersonation of Hermione. "There is an antidote to the potion, and it can only be that antidote that will reverse the effects of the potion." Snape's nostrils flared a little bit.
"Very good, for once, Ms Hillary." he said. "10 points to Gryffindor."
"How did you do that?" Rachel asked Ashlee.
"I'm not THAT dumb, you know." Ashlee replied snobbily.
"Yeah," Lara agreed on the other side of Ashlee, smirking, "the 'Dumbest Person in Hogwarts' place is already filled by Rachel."
"Tell me, Ms Hillary," Snape pressed onwards, "you talk about the Love Potion like you've experienced it before." The class was silent, even Elizabeth looked up from her reflection from her cauldron. Her eyes seemed to mist over.
"The text books are very descriptive." Ashlee replied, with a hint of victory in her voice. She raised her eyebrow, daring Snape to challenge.
"Very well." Snape sneered, and continued with the lesson.
~~Defense Against the Dark Arts~~
After Potions, we all packed our bags and walked to the DADA classroom. Karla knocked the door.
"Hello?" she asked in her sweet voice. "Is anybody there?"
"Come in, please." A voice wafted from inside the classroom.
"Well, that's always nice to know!" Karla smiled and walked inside the room, with us behind her.
As soon as the entire class was in the room, the door closed by itself. No big deal. Now ... where was the teacher? We all looked around; the teacher was nowhere to be seen.
"Hello?" Courtney asked, looking around. "Professor Boogie?" There was no response. All of a sudden, a chair that was at the end of the classroom flew across the room, aiming for our heads.
"Aaarrrgghhh!! " we all screamed and ducked downwards. The chair aimed again and flew towards us.
"Aaarrrgghhh!!" we screamed again.
Hermione pulled out her wand and aimed at it.
"STUPEFY!" she cried, and her wand shot a red stunning spell at the possessed chair. The spell merely bounched off and zoomed at it's caster, just like the Swallow Plants. Too bad this time there weren't any bags of Hippogriff manure ...
Hermione gave a little frightened squeak and hurled herself at a piece of floor 5 feet away. She rolled around the floor and landed near the teacher's desk.
"Peeves!" Harry hissed, pulling out his wand. "Show yourself, Peeves!" the chair continued moving around, dangerously close to the ceiling.
"We'll get the Bloody Baron, Peeves!" Ron threatened, pulling out his own wand. The chair did a 360 degree spin, as if it were teasing Ron and Harry.
"Fine!" Harry aimed his wand at the chair. "Wing-"
"No, Harry!" Hermione cried as she jumped up. "The chair isn't being held by Peeves!"
"Oh yeah?" Ron asked as he aimed his wand as well. "Prove it!"
Hermione's held titled ever so slightly towards the teacher's desk. I looked down at it. The chair at the teacher's desk was tilted onto 2 legs, making it look like somebody was sitting on it, with their own legs upon the desk. Except, the person didn't really seem to be there.
I poked Louise to sort of tell her to look at the chair. Her eyes widened. She nodded. We moved quietly towards the chair.
"1." I whispered to her.
"2." Louise's hand and my hand reached down towards the tilted chair.
"3!" we both tugged off the invisibility cloak that the person was wearing. At once, the chair fell limp upon the floor.
"Very good, indeed." Professor Boogie smiled at us. "Excellent effort."
Me, Louise and Hermione blushed.
"Let me introduce myself." Professor Boogie stood up. "My name is Professor Andy Boogie."
"Hello, Professor Boogie!" Rachel shoved her way up to him. "My name's Rachel. You should get to know me better - I'm going to come up a lot from now on, because of my grades." Rachel puffed out her chest, losing all dignity. Professor Boogie mentally raised an eyebrow.
"Hi, I'm Elizabeth." Elizabeth strode up to Professor Boogie and pushed back her hair. "I'm the one with the best hair, best complexion, best eyes, best grades, best ..."
"OK, OK." Professor Boogie interrupted. "Now, let's start today's lesson."
"Best Quidditch talents, best Charms student ..." Elizabeth was still ticking off from her list.
"Today, we'll be learning about Gimliwhipples." Professor Boogie looked at us all. "Can anybody tell me what a Gimliwhipple is?" Instantly, Hermione's arm shot up into the air, waving around frantically.
"Gimliwhipples are little dwarves that wonder around, envoking battles with other species, which are often bigger and more bloodthirsty than they." Hermione quoted from the DADA book in a voice that plainly said 'go and challenge THAT, Ashlee!'. "As a result, Gimliwhipples are extremely rare."
"Very good, er, Ms -"
"Granger." Hermione provided snobbily. "Hermione Granger."
"Well, very well done, Ms Granger."
"Thank you, Professor." Hermione beamed.
"Now, let's get started with looking at Gimliwhipples in the textbook ..."
~~Care of Magical Creatures~~
After DADA and homework which consisted of an essay about the process of close extinction of Gimliwhipples, our class walked onto the lawn to Care of Magical Creatures. We were all expecting Hagrid playing at his hut, but when we all arrived, all we saw that was the closest thing to a teacher was a broomstick and a briefcase.
"Hello, everybody." a face appeared from the side of the hut. But it wasn't the shaggy haired, crinkly eyed face of Hagrid. It was the face of a squat old lady with black hair, age spots and glasses. She also had horrible fashion sense. She was wearing a bright neon green and pink spotted jumper over a blue jumpsuit. All the girls shuddered at her clothes while the guys were wondering what planet she had arrived from.
"Where's Hagrid?" Harry asked. He saw Ashlee looking at him. They immediately averted each other eyes, scowling.
"Don't interrupt me!" the squat lady snapped. "I'm trying to teach you something and I can't do that unless you be quiet and lesson."
"Goodness forbid that we actually learn something." I muttered to myself.
"Great, now you've made me lose my train of thought!" the witch grumbled. Harry put up his hand. "What is it?!" she snapped again.
"Where's Hagrid?" Harry repeated himself. The witch scowled.
" 'Hagrid' is not here." the witch said patronizingly. "Why else would I be here?" I had a sudden, mad urge to go and strangle this mystery psycho.
"What's your name?" Louise asked.
"My name is Professor M. Edusa." Professor Edusa introduced. "I will be teaching you for the year."
"The year?!" we asked, astonished. I could barely last 30 seconds (literally) around her, yet she said that she was sticking around for the entire YEAR!
This was just great.
"Yes!" Edusa cried at us all. "Now will you PLEASE be quiet while I try and teach you girls something, unlike 'Hagrid' or whatever his name is, ever did." We were all shocked. How could she insult one of her co-workers like that? Harry, Ron and Hermione started stuttering uncontrollably.
"Books hike, dear Bin Door, a runny bear." Louise whispered to me.
"WHAT?!" I hissed her. Seriously, these people should stop talking abou gibberish once in a while.
"Looks like we're in for a fun year!" Louise repeated, rolling her eyes.
"Oh." I said for the millionth time. "OK."
"STOP TALKING!" Professor Edusa interrupted me.
"Sorry." I replied guiltily. I could practically see the 'So you should be' look on her face. She turned around, and I started pulling faces. Rachel and Louise started laughing.
"Anyway, before you all rudely interrupted me," Professor Edusa said to us all, "today we will begin work on Ploonies. What's a Ploony?" Hermione shot up her hand again in record time.
"Ploonies are creatures which are deeply lazy creatures. If not found eating, they will be found sleeping." Hermione quoted, not even bothering to wait until Professor Edusa had picked her.
"You do not talk unless you are told to!" she grumbled. "50 points from Gryffindor!" Our mouths fell open. The Slytherins started smirking. The evil psycho!
Hermione looked deeply offended. She reached into her robes and pulled out her wand. I saw inspecting it closely, restraining herself from cursing Professor Edusa into oblivion.
"Now, can anybody answer my question when I ask them to?" Edusa said sharply. Malfoy put up his hand. "Yes?" she asked him.
"Ploonies are creatures which are deeply lazy creatures. If not found eating, they will be found sleeping." Malfoy quoted from Hermione. Hermione looked deeply offended.
"Very good!" Professor Edusa smiled. "25 points to Slytherin!" The Gryffindors looked outraged at Malfoy gaining so much points from Hermion's answer. The Slytherins were esctatic on Malfoy gaining so much points from Hermione's answer.
"Nice try, Granger." Malfoy smirked. Hermione scowled.
"Now, to start our work on Ploonies, I will be partnering you up with people from a different house to the one that you belong to currently. This will help you to get to know the people from the other classes." Professor Edusa smiled toothily at us. "Now, I have a list here ..." she pulled out her wand and produced a piece of paper with scribbles on it from no where.
"Oh this should be interesting." Lara smirked.
"These people are in no particular order." Edusa cleared her throat.
"Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy ..." Louise closed her eyes and crossed her fingers.
"Hermione Granger - Michael Corner."
"Lavendar Brown - Justin Finch-Fletchley."
"Ronald Weasley - Parvati Patil."
"Harry Potter - Padma Patil."
"Lara Fathersome -" Lara crossed her fingers. "Gregory Goyle." Lara's faced drooped. Hahaha!
"Linda DeGail -" I was too busy laughing internally. "Draco Malfoy." I stopped laughing. Oh crap.
"Wh-wh-what?" I asked, shocked. Malfoy didn't look too impressed either.
"Ashlee Hillary - Hannah Abbot."
"Rachel Gilding - Susan Bones."
"Courtney Hall - Blaise Zabini."
"Karla Feathers - Vincent Crabbe." I would laugh, except for the fact that I got Malfoy. MALFOY. MALFOY! I MEAN, HONESTLY, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!
"Louise Houston - Terry Boot."
"Elizabeth Fields - Mandy Brocklehurst."
The list continued like this until the list finished with Neville Longbottom being paired up with Sally-Anne Perks.
"You will start today's lesson with your partners. I will be handing you your own Ploony." Edusa waved her hand over to some brown coloured animals that looked like hogs. "This lesson, merely let your Ploony sleep. In the meantime, talk to your partner and get to know them better." I groaned. Wonderful.
Professor Edusa then walked off and started pulling out some test papers and got out herself a quill that marked instantly. Suddenly, I felt something grip my wrists.
"Nice to talk again, partner." Malfoy said nastily. I pushed my elbows back and got him in the stomach.
"Always a pleasure, psycho." I said sarcastically. He let go of my arms.
"Looks like we're really going to enjoy this, aren't we?" he asked, sitting down onto the grass.
"What do you think?" I asked him. I charmed a stake into the grass and chained our Ploony there. It looked up at me with it's soft brown eyes. The eyes eventually became droopy, and pretty soon, the Ploony had fallen asleep.
"Ooh, you ARE fiesty!" his eyes glinted with mischief.
"What?!" I screamed. "Where did THAT come from?" I asked. He smirked.
"Freaking people out is my daily ritual." Malfoy sneered. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, well you do it well enough." I said. "All they have to do is look at you." Malfoy's eyes narrowed.
"You're going to pay for that." he said in a threatening voice.
"Yeah, right." I said sarcastically.
The rest of the lesson was spent like this - arguing ourselves insane. Isn't that wonderful?
~~Lunch~~
Finally after about half an hour of Malfoy nagging me stupid, I packed up and returned my Ploony. It gave me a lazy smile before re-entering the box. It's so cute! The Ploony I mean, not Malfoy. [A/N: *shudder*]
"See you next lesson, partner." Malfoy smirked.
"Rightio then, psycho!" I said sarcastically, shooting him the glare of death. He laughed and walked off with Lara.
Lara must have some twisted brain to be friends with that guy.
"How was Malfoy?" Louise asked me.
"Horrible." I said. I started strangling thin air. "He's so annoying!"
"Not only are you fiesty, but you've got attitude!" Malfoy shouted from in front of me.
"Panda leering, lob them?" I asked Louise. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Clever behind." she said.
"I SAID IT 2 DAYS AGO!" I screeched. "NO MORE TALKING ABOUT MENTALLY ADVANCED BODY PARTS!" Louise rolled her eyes.
We entered the Great Hall to lunch. I picked at my fruit and juice. I looked up. Michael Corner was trying to talk Liz into a date. Too bad that she seemed to be too busy staring into her reflection in her goblet.
"How about next Hogsmeade weekend?" Michael asked her sweetly.
"Can you believe that I have no pimples?" Liz asked. "My skin is just so silky smooth and gorgeous ..."
"It is." Michael said. [A/N:EEEEEWWWW!!!!] "Look. Just one pitcher of butterbeer at Hogsmeade?" he asked.
"OK, then." Elizabeth said and smoothed down her clothes.
"HHHEEELLLOOO!!!" out of nowhere, a girl with red hair and blonde coloured ends jumped out.
"YARGH!" we all screamed. Who the heck is THAT?
"Who are YOU?" Courtney asked.
"I'm Joeline." Joeline smiled evilly at them. OK ...
"What did you want?" Ashlee asked her.
"Nothing really." Joeline gave them an evil smile and then walked off. Some people are really weird ...
"Low on many days ... Maize is nearly a mind of lice, if Lous makes away the bowl toy bling and Avery will sing." Courtney said.
WHAT? Honestly, people these days should learn to talk louder!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: That's the end of Chapter 9! Yay! Which means ... next chapter, the fanfic enters the Dark Ages! Sure, the fic is supposed to be in Chapter 13 at least for it to be in the Dark Ages, but I simply can't wait at the moment. =) So, next week I'm celebrating! I might, I say MIGHT be releasing more clues about who I am. And, near the end of the fic, you would have seen some hearing problem sentences, but I did not provide the answers. See if you can work it out. If you can't, just email the question to me about it and I will try and get back to you as soon as possible.
So, until the Dark Ages ...
~~Blue - Author of Dating Dungbombs and Believer in Awkward Love Triangles.