Odd Visitations

This is all that is left of the palace and the surrounding districts: a great stinking (literally) pile of rubble that covers a huge area of ground.

It is also the headquarters of Chairman Meow and his fanatics, who camp in tents above the spot where the Oblong Office once stood. Further in than that, in an as yet untenanted spot close to the kitchens of the palace, or what was left of them anyway, the rubble was shifting in a manner most surprising. A muffled shouting rose from the spot, then a repeated banging noise. And then, the rubble fell away and a large metal thing crawled out. On tracks. It appeared that not all the occupants of the palace had died. And there you were, thinking I could not twist this story more.

A door in the side of the vehicle opened, and out of it, partially masked by smoke and light, stepped a man.

A dark street, deep in the middle of the shades, grew fractionally darker as a ... monkey-like thing, stumbled out of a door, probably to some kind of drinking house. What was drunk there is, perhaps, best left unconsidered. And behind the orange furball was a man, or at least, biped.

"And stay out! We don't want your sort in here!" he shouted.

The orangutan mumbled, muttered, and then staggered down the street, trailing ... just trailing generally.

It turned down a darker, more alley-like alley, and was waylaid by a shape in a dark cloak. It seemed Nænorn was contacting his old compatriots.

And now, after the scene is set, we enter the heart of the Unseen University; the University Library. A room full of wizards, all of whom look rather uncomfortable. In a wizard's general meeting, silence is the key.

"Archchancellor, I would like to point out that all of the leading leaders in the city are opposed to magic" said Ponder Stibbons, breaking under the stare of an overly large grimoire.

"I don't see how that matters. I mean, we don't need them, and they certainly can't throw us out of the city!"

"But-if we are on bad terms with the patrician, then we could go back to the state we had in Snapcase's reign, when no-one trusted us, and there were no invitations to the annual dinners!" pointed out an exasperated Ponder.

"That is a problem. We will have to send envoys to the Slant, Rust, Boggis and that mad man...Meow"

"That wasn't what I mea-oh bugger it" Ponder left, too surprised at his companions to think. Shortly, he was followed by the Librarian.

They were heading for the palace, or where it once stood.

Boggis was happy. He listened to the noise of hundreds of blackjacks, swords, daggers, pitchforks and other sharp implements clash, and then gestured for his deputy chief advisor to resume his speech.

"We may not have the equipment of the pretenders, but we know where to strike. We know their plans. We know who kidnapped Vimes and Carrot, and how to get to them. In fact, we know where Carrot and Vimes are. Meow may think nobody can get them from that cell, but we could. In my opinion, my lord, we are currently fully capable of taking over full control of this entire city, if we can set up a puppet king. Like a certain ex-Watch Captain, if you catch my drift. Our men could take down any of the militias of those who would usurp your rightful patricianship!"

"Very good, Mr. Garrett. I like your plans. You are now my chief advisor, and as your first job, I would like you to implement your plans for war-"

The door slammed open, and Mr CMOT Dibbler walked in and deposited a tray of miscellaneous foodstuffs on the table

"Refreshments for you, gentlemen."

He walked out, straight through the training yard, straight past the armed sentries, straight back to his paymaster. Nænorn, of course. Sometimes the best way to not be seen is to be as visible as possible.

Up at the palace, the man who had emerged from the tunnaling machine looked up at the approach of Ponder Stibbons and the Librarian.

"I don't see why you foolowed me, though. 'because I felt like it' I just don't believe"

"Ook"

"Look at what-oh! Hey, you're Leonard da Quirm!"

Authour's note. For gods sake, you didn't think I'd bring Vetinari back, did you? You poor obsessive people! Authour's note 2 I know the wizards aren't right. Don't bother commenting.