Author's Note: This is a continuation of the first chapter, although it is
about Frodo going to the Undying Lands, namely because when Frodo says
"that terrible day," he is referring to where they are in the first
chapter, surrounded by the fires of Mt. Doom. So please: read, enjoy, and
REVIEW!
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This is indeed a cruel end, and I curse the One who devised it! Who set me before this road; its inevitable turns, that lead me to the sea. He bid me sail, and I could not, for all my will, deny Him what He demanded of me. And thus, He held me captive upon this ship, binding me to it with the chains of my guilt, and wound them about me; this woe that I gave unto myself!
Of course, His design was a subtle one, and one that I could not escape for all my cunning. 'Twas a curse, that did not so much bite as blind me, one that I could not feel and was yet ever-present, a shadow left to hover above my soul. How long was it, I wonder, before I began to feel that slow, empty despair wash over me, like the tide, and pull me into the raging sea?
In a silent chamber, adorned with memories, I would sit, and let my wounds bleed torrents of ink, cunningly shaping themselves into words of despair. And then, when my life's blood was spilt upon the pages of the world, and all my love was spent, I was left alone, an empty shell of the past, a ghost of some forgotten realm left to haunt you.
And, as a ghost, I felt nothing, save the anguish set on my heart, weighing it down with hate and doubts. But the sun, shine as it might, froze as it touched my flesh. Neither the breeze nor you could caress me, or set me on the path that lead me home, rather than some destination on the stormy seas. All your words fell silent on my ears, made deaf by malice towards the sullied Earth.
But the worst, the worst was that I could now see the world for what it was, and the pain of that knowledge rendered me helpless! I saw the trees, yes, in their disheveled loveliness, but I saw as well across the spanning of the years to when they would crack and dry, leaves shining emerald no longer in the sunny glade. And then, the mosses and the grasses would overtake them, and raze them to the ground, their beauty a mere shadow of what was. I saw the lands that we tread upon fall under the tide, as the waters retook what was once theirs. All of our destinies lie with the sea, but I shall sail my course now, and not wait for Time to bend me, in His dreadful malice, to his will.
That terrible day, Sam, I began to understand the way of the world. I saw Death touch your face with his wilting hand and pass you by. But I know, you will not long escape his gaze, and that soon you will pass into his realm and be forgotten. Your laughter, your shy brown eyes, and your quiet wisdom will be lost to the world. And now, when I gaze upon you, laboring amongst the flowers on a warm spring day, humming a meaningless tune to be lost on the scattering wind, I see what I will lose.
Across the awaiting sea, Sam, lie the Lands that do not die. Surely, I will fade from them and pass into memory, but no longer will I have this sensation that the world around me is slipping from my grasp, and be trusted alone with this dreadful understanding of our blessing and our bane.
I bound myself to you long ago. Not with iron chains or biting rope, but with the course thread that I myself wove when I let tumble forth my strings of loving words. I called you my dearest friend, and it was the truth I spoke, and once I myself intertwined our fates, I could not undo the impossible knot which I had tied, not even for your own sake.
So now, you see, I am bound both to land and sea. I will hurt you no more, no longer rip you in half with my selfish wants. It is I, now, who will be torn in two, between love of you and longing for sight of the Undying Lands.
But no longer shall I mourn for what will inevitably be lost. Perhaps, one day, you too will pass over the sea, and I will be allowed to, one last time, look upon you with my mortal eyes. But if not, still I shall not allow Despair to take me! For one day, we will both pass, not only beyond the waters, but beyond the circles of the world, to an awaiting paradise where all that is green and good shall not fade, and Time shall not sully your golden hair with silver, and draw lines of worry on your innocent face.
So do not let the darkness of the sea wash the joy from your heart, for we shall meet again, in this world or the next.
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This is indeed a cruel end, and I curse the One who devised it! Who set me before this road; its inevitable turns, that lead me to the sea. He bid me sail, and I could not, for all my will, deny Him what He demanded of me. And thus, He held me captive upon this ship, binding me to it with the chains of my guilt, and wound them about me; this woe that I gave unto myself!
Of course, His design was a subtle one, and one that I could not escape for all my cunning. 'Twas a curse, that did not so much bite as blind me, one that I could not feel and was yet ever-present, a shadow left to hover above my soul. How long was it, I wonder, before I began to feel that slow, empty despair wash over me, like the tide, and pull me into the raging sea?
In a silent chamber, adorned with memories, I would sit, and let my wounds bleed torrents of ink, cunningly shaping themselves into words of despair. And then, when my life's blood was spilt upon the pages of the world, and all my love was spent, I was left alone, an empty shell of the past, a ghost of some forgotten realm left to haunt you.
And, as a ghost, I felt nothing, save the anguish set on my heart, weighing it down with hate and doubts. But the sun, shine as it might, froze as it touched my flesh. Neither the breeze nor you could caress me, or set me on the path that lead me home, rather than some destination on the stormy seas. All your words fell silent on my ears, made deaf by malice towards the sullied Earth.
But the worst, the worst was that I could now see the world for what it was, and the pain of that knowledge rendered me helpless! I saw the trees, yes, in their disheveled loveliness, but I saw as well across the spanning of the years to when they would crack and dry, leaves shining emerald no longer in the sunny glade. And then, the mosses and the grasses would overtake them, and raze them to the ground, their beauty a mere shadow of what was. I saw the lands that we tread upon fall under the tide, as the waters retook what was once theirs. All of our destinies lie with the sea, but I shall sail my course now, and not wait for Time to bend me, in His dreadful malice, to his will.
That terrible day, Sam, I began to understand the way of the world. I saw Death touch your face with his wilting hand and pass you by. But I know, you will not long escape his gaze, and that soon you will pass into his realm and be forgotten. Your laughter, your shy brown eyes, and your quiet wisdom will be lost to the world. And now, when I gaze upon you, laboring amongst the flowers on a warm spring day, humming a meaningless tune to be lost on the scattering wind, I see what I will lose.
Across the awaiting sea, Sam, lie the Lands that do not die. Surely, I will fade from them and pass into memory, but no longer will I have this sensation that the world around me is slipping from my grasp, and be trusted alone with this dreadful understanding of our blessing and our bane.
I bound myself to you long ago. Not with iron chains or biting rope, but with the course thread that I myself wove when I let tumble forth my strings of loving words. I called you my dearest friend, and it was the truth I spoke, and once I myself intertwined our fates, I could not undo the impossible knot which I had tied, not even for your own sake.
So now, you see, I am bound both to land and sea. I will hurt you no more, no longer rip you in half with my selfish wants. It is I, now, who will be torn in two, between love of you and longing for sight of the Undying Lands.
But no longer shall I mourn for what will inevitably be lost. Perhaps, one day, you too will pass over the sea, and I will be allowed to, one last time, look upon you with my mortal eyes. But if not, still I shall not allow Despair to take me! For one day, we will both pass, not only beyond the waters, but beyond the circles of the world, to an awaiting paradise where all that is green and good shall not fade, and Time shall not sully your golden hair with silver, and draw lines of worry on your innocent face.
So do not let the darkness of the sea wash the joy from your heart, for we shall meet again, in this world or the next.