Chapter 13
Settling In – The Second Week at Windy Corner.
On Monday, after dinner, Harry sat down with Cassius and Remus in the sitting room.
"Harry, we wanted to talk to you about Voldemort…Dumbledore told us about the prophecy." Remus said, his amber eyes looking at Harry carefully.
"Oh?" Harry felt anger start to build inside him, he had tried not to think about the prophecy the past week. He had enjoyed exploring Windy Corner by himself and then showing it to Ron and Hermione. For the past week, he had finally felt like a normal boy, even though his home situation wasn't normal, per se, but he felt like he finally had a home.
"He felt we should know – since that was what Voldemort had been trying to get his hands on in the Department of Mysteries." Cassius continued calmly.
"Don't talk to me about that place." Harry felt a wave of grief wash over him – Sirius had died there, not even a month ago. Being with Cassius and Remus the past week had started the healing process for Harry but the pain of Sirius' death was still very raw.
"The Order has been working to find a way to defeat Voldemort…" Remus said.
"According to the prophecy, only I can defeat Voldemort – the Order can't help." Harry said angrily.
"You've been on your own for most of your life, Harry – you're not alone anymore." Cassius looked intently at Harry.
"Sirius said that too! And then he died!!" Harry yelled, he had stood up at some point, he couldn't remember, and could feel tears streaming down his face.
"We know…" Cassius glanced over at Remus who had lowered his head at the mention of Sirius, his brown and grey streaked hair fell forward, hiding his face. "There's no guarantee that one of us won't die – but we love you – and other people love you too. You aren't alone. You just need to believe that."
"Whenever something bad happens, I am alone! I wish Voldemort had killed me!!" Harry shouted, his hands clenching into fists.
"Harry!" Cassius started to raise his voice too. "Look – I know Voldemort and his followers have caused you pain - I can only imagine how hard it's been for you - and you don't want to be the one who has to kill Voldemort - I get that! But if you're the only one who can do it– then you need to do it!"
"But why does it have to be me?!" Harry shouted, his voice breaking.
"I don't know…if I could do it for you, I would." Cassius said gently. Cassius stepped forward cautiously and wrapped his arms slowly around Harry. As he started to cry harder, Harry felt the ring on Cassius' chest press into his cheek. Cassius' hand patted Harry's back as Harry cried. He cried for a long time. He hadn't cried since Sirius had died and now he felt like he would never stop crying.
Cassius moved slowly towards the loveseat that was near the fire, bringing Harry with him. Cassius sat down, pulling Harry down next to him. His left arm remained around Harry's shoulder. Harry took a few gulps of air and wiped his eyes, the tears were slowly stopping. He leaned his head on Cassius' shoulder. It was comforting to feel the warm weight of Cassius' arm around him. Whenever he had cried at the Dursleys he'd always been alone, no one had ever comforted him.
"Harry, whatever happens, we'll deal with it together. I give you my word." Cassius squeezed Harry's shoulder.
"I give you my word too, Harry." Remus' voice sounded thick, like he had been crying too. Harry looked over at Remus who gave him a watery smile. Harry wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and took a shuddery breath. Their pledges made him feel better – especially Cassius', he knew Cassius would keep his word, no matter what.
"Harry?" Cassius poked his head into The Library where Harry was doing some of his homework the next evening. "You busy?"
"No…what's up?" Harry marked the page in his book.
"I thought I should tell you this before I forgot," Cassius smiled ruefully as he ran his hand through his pale blond hair. "I was going to tell you last night but then it didn't seem like the right time... Dumbledore told us he's still concerned about your mental link with Voldemort. So, I've asked Moody to come tutor you in Occlumency – I thought he'd be better than dealing with Snape. He's a really good teacher. It'll help keep you safe, Harry, that's why we want you to study it." Cassius looked at him earnestly.
"Ok, if you think it's important, I try." Harry tried to sound confident, although he had a sinking feeling inside.
"Moody won't use your memories against you." Cassius reassured Harry. "He'll teach you how to block someone out of your mind and then he'll see if you can keep him out. If it's too hard, just let him know you need a break. He'll understand."
Harry nodded, that sounded better than his sessions with Snape. "When will he come by?"
"Starting tomorrow, he'll come by Monday, Wednesday and Friday at tea time."
"At tea time? So Tabby can be around?" Harry asked with a grin.
"No, so that you and Moody can talk and relax and have tea before you start your sessions." Cassius' face had turned a bit pink. He reached over and gave Harry a firm hug before leaving the room. Harry knew at almost 16, he was a little old for all the hugging that went on at Windy Corner but he'd had many years of no hugs at all. Remus said he needed to catch up on his hug allotment, and every day since he had arrived at Windy Corner, Harry had gotten at least one hug from each of his guardians.
The next day, Wednesday, Moody floo-ed into the kitchen at Windy Corner right at tea time. Tabby had set the tea things on the table and was nowhere to be seen, so Harry, Remus and Moody had tea together before Moody and Harry went to the library for their lesson.
"Now then, Harry." Moody said gruffly as he closed the door behind him, his magical eye moved around the room. "As you know from your lessons with Professor Snape, Occlumency is the art of blocking one's thoughts and memories from another wizard or witch. We will be working on closing your mind to Voldemort - you will have to lock your whole mind to him." Moody sat down in one of the chairs and gestured to Harry to sit down. "Picture something that will be a protector for your mind. Work on having a clear picture of it."
Harry thought about it. "Could it be someone?"
"Certainly. Whatever or whoever you want it to be. This is just the first step – once you become skilled, you won't have to picture the protector, you'll just be able to lock your mind."
Harry thought of Sirius…but that hurt too much. Then suddenly he thought of Cassius standing in the sitting room at Grimmauld Place with the wild look in his green eyes, energy vibrating from him. That was a good protector image if there ever was one, he thought.
"Okay." Harry said. "I've got one."
"All right – picture building a smooth gray wall behind the protector. All of your memories go behind this wall, all of your thoughts. You should only be thinking about your protector and seeing it and the wall behind it."
"Okay." Harry said, getting the picture in his mind.
"Now empty your mind of emotions, just think of the wall and your protector. When you're ready, nod." After a moment, Harry nodded.
"All right, let's give this a try." Moody said "Legilimens." and Harry felt Moody trying to enter his mind. Harry focused on the image of Cassius in front of the wall. Moody was stopped for a moment and then pushed past the image and found a memory of Harry crying when he was 7 and Dudley had punched him. Harry felt Moody immediately retreat from his mind. He opened his eyes, he felt drained, although not nearly as badly as his lessons with Snape..
"Very good start, Harry. Nice protector." Moody smiled. "Now, try to get that image clearer, more defined. I couldn't tell what color eyes Cass had in your mind – you know they're green, like yours, so focus on that – the more you can make that image real, the more it will help." Moody waved his wand and some chocolate appeared. "Have a piece, Harry."
Harry ate some of the chocolate, feeling the warmth flow through it. "So you noticed that Cassius and I have the same color eyes?"
"Noticed it the first time I met you, when we all came to pick you up from the muggles." Harry remembered that the Professor Moody he had thought he'd known his 4th year at school hadn't been Moody, but rather Barty Crouch, Jr. "Of course, I knew then you and Cass were related."
"How come Cassius didn't realize that Barty Crouch Jr. was impersonating you?" Harry blurted out before he could stop himself. Moody and Cassius seemed very close, it seemed odd to Harry that Cassius wouldn't have known.
"Well, it never occurred to him that anyone would kidnap me – Crouch used the Imperious Curse to make sure he got all the information out of me that he needed in order to impersonate me. He was able to write Cassius in such a way that he never suspected anything amiss." Moody knitted his brows as he remembered. "Now Cassius has a spell on me, so he'll know if anyone uses one of the Unforgivable curses on me, or if I get hurt bad."
Harry thought about it – that certainly would make Cassius feel better, he was very protective of the people he loved, like Remus and Moody. And now, Harry knew he was considered one of those people.
"Let's do this one more time and then we'll call it a day. Have that image ready?" Moody raised his wand. This time, Harry was able to hold him off longer and didn't feel as drained, but Moody still got by his protector in the end.
"Good. Very good." Moody sounded pleased. "Keep working on that image. I'll be here on Friday and we'll see how you do."
On Thursday evening, Cassius came home to Harry and Remus red-eyed and sniffling in the sitting room. Tabby was knitting calmly in the chair next to Harry.
"What's wrong!" Cassius sounded panicked as he rushed over to where they were sitting
"They went through one of Sirius' trunks in the attic." Tabby responded gently as she looked at Remus and Harry.
"Oh…and are you all right?" Cassius sounded calmer but still concerned. Harry and Remus both nodded. Cassius sat down next to Remus on the loveseat and took his hand. Harry immediately got up from the chair he was sitting in and moved to squish himself on the loveseat on the other side of Cassius. They had to sit close but they all fit.
"What did you find?" Cassius asked, putting his arm around Harry.
"Pictures." Remus whispered, leaning his head on Cassius' shoulder.
"Of Sirius and…you?" Cassius asked. Remus nodded. "And James and Lily too?" Another nod. "Any of Peter?" Cassius asked slowly. Another nod, jerkier this time. "Were they happy pictures?" Another nod.
"They all looked very happy. He looked happy." Harry said hoarsely.
"And it's hard to see him happy." Cassius stated, although it sounded a bit like a question.
"Well, yeah, when we're miserable!" Harry gave a hiccupy laugh. "It's just hard to see him." He said softly. Cassius tightened his arm around Harry. They sat for a few moments in silence.
"You stink." Remus said, pulling a bit away from Cassius.
"Because I've been in a bloody bog all day!! You don't think I'd smell like this deliberately, do you? Do you? I think I'm emotionally scarred from the whole ordeal – slogging through a freezing swamp for ten hours. It was horrid." Cassius stood. "I'm off to have a hot shower." He stomped out of the sitting room.
"Cassius, don't clomp! Harry and Remus have had a hard day!" Tabby called after him.
"I've had a hard day too. Thanks for caring! And I'll clomp if I bloody well want to! It's my house! Ingrates!" Cassius clomped even louder up the stairs, sounded distinctly like a 5 year old having a temper tantrum. Harry and Remus burst into hysterical laughter, it really wasn't that funny, but their nerves were a little frayed from the events of the day. After a while, Remus stopped laughing, wiping away tears again, but tears from laughter not sadness.
"I needed that." Remus said looking over at Harry.
"Me, too." Harry smiled, and moved over to hug Remus. "I think we should stay away from the attic for a few days, what do you think, Remus?"
"I agree." Remus smoothed Harry's hair and kissed his forehead. Harry felt a warm feeling around his heart. Remus loved him. Harry knew Sirius had loved him but Sirius had never been physically affectionate. Already in the first week and a half at Windy Corner, Harry had had more hugs and kisses than his whole life.
Cassius took a long bath, and when he came back downstairs, he smelled like lavender.
"Much better." Remus smiled and wound his arms around Cassius as he came into the kitchen.
"Tabby, do you hear anything?" Cassius looked over Remus' head towards Tabby.
"Now, you – you did stink. There's a simple charm to get rid of smells, I'll teach it to you tonight." Tabby replied over her shoulder from where she stood at the kitchen counter.
"Is it as hard as the drying charm? Because that took ages for me to get right. Professor Flitwick almost failed me two years in a row because of that damn charm." Cassius frowned.
"It's about the same. And you will learn it. An auror who can't do the simplest charms, it's a wonder you're still in the job." Tabby huffed. Harry knew that under her crabby exterior, in spite of all her glaring and yelling and huffing, she was very fond of Cassius.
"Well, I can do the
difficult charms – that's what counts, Tabby. Remus thinks so too."
"I thought you were mad at Remus – now he's supporting up your insane claim?"
Tabby arched her eyebrow as she looked over at Cassius.
"Well – uh…I'm not mad at him anymore, I'm just waiting for his apology."
"I'm sorry, but you did smell." Remus tilted his head back to gaze up at Cassius.
"I forgive you." Cassius leaned down and kissed the tip of Remus' nose.
"Is your day getting better now?" Remus rubbed his nose against Cassius'.
"Hmm…well, anything's better than being in that horrible bog." Cassius said with a smile.
"Why were you in the bog in the first place?" Harry asked from where he was sitting at the kitchen table watching Tabby. Tabby didn't cook with magic, so preparations had already begun for dinner and Harry and Remus both enjoyed keeping her company while she cooked. Tabby coddled Remus and Harry because they were, as she said, 'delicate.'
"Some loon called in a tip that Voldemort was hiding out in this bog in Wales and since I just finished an investigation I was the only auror not on an assignment so…lucky me." Cassius wrinkled his nose. "Stupid Fudge, he still insists every tip be investigated."
A/N: I made up the stuff for the Occlumency lessons – it just seemed to make sense to me and Snape never explains how to block one's mind in OOTP so…