Chapter Twelve:
"*Jordan*!" I shouted. "What are you doing in my room?"
"Kill me later," she said. "Right now, come look at this thing."
I gritted my teeth and bent down. Pretended that I didn't know exactly what was under my bed. That my heart wasn't pounding out of my chest. "Look at what?"
"That," she said, jabbing her finger at the Helmacron. The alien had scuttled back into the shadows, but you could still see her moving around.
"What?" I asked. "That ant?"
"It's not an ant. I saw it when it wasn't so close to the wall. I mean, I couldn't see it all that well. But I think it reared up on its four back legs, and it's shiny, like, this weird silver color."
"So it's a deformed, silver ant," I said. "Get out of my room."
"Rachel," she protested, "You gotta help me catch it. It's wild!"
"Since when are you so interested in bugs?"
She turned her head to look up at me. "Since they looked like they walked off the bridge of the 'Enterprise.'"
"Look, Jordan," I sighed, "It's a bug. Would you get out of my room?"
She sat up on her heels. "Well, excuse me for being interested," she sniffed.
"You're excused."
She slammed my door as hard as she could on her way out.
I got on my stomach and looked down at the Helmacron. "You okay?" I whispered. Actually, I half-hoped she wasn't. It would save us a whole bunch of trouble if she just died of fright.
As if that massive being could cause me discomfort, unless I burst myself laughing at her hideous figure, she snorted derisively. I am a Helmacron female!
"No kidding," I said.
Guess the whole dying of fright thing was out of the question.
I stood. Brushed carpet lint off my shirt. Grabbed the phone off my bedside table. I dialed Jake's number quickly.
A woman's voice answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, Aunt Jean?"
"Hi, Jordan, how are you?"
"This is Rachel," I said. Jake's mom could never tell our voices apart over the phone.
"Oops, sorry," she laughed. "How are you?"
Me? Exhausted, paranoid, guilty, angry, frustrated, and fighting a hopeless, endless war against evil alien slugs.
"Fine, thanks. Listen, is Jake around?"
"I think so. Hang on." There was a harsh scraping as she covered the phone with her hand. "Jake!" she yelled. There was a pause. "Tom, go get Jake, would you? Your cousin Rachel's on the phone!"
Tom yelled something back.
"Well, would you take the phone to him?"
There was a brief scuffle, then I heard Tom's voice. "Hey, cousin," he said.
"Hi," I grated tersely. I wouldn't call him Tom unless I had to. Because the thing that had just called me "cousin" wasn't Tom at all. It was the Yeerk that hid behind his eyes.
"Just running the phone up to Jake," he puffed as he climbed the stairs.
I waited, grinding my jaw. If only I could have reached through the phone and ripped that Yeerk right out of his ear.
"Here you go," the Yeerk said.
Then, "Hello?"
"Jake? This is Rachel."
"Hey," he said. "What's up?"
I lowered my voice, in case Jordan might still be lurking around. "I want her out, Jake. I want her out of my house, pronto. I don't care what Ax says, I - "
"That sounds great!" Jake said, interrupting me. We always have to be careful, when on the phone, in case others are listening in. Jake couldn't tell me to just calm down. It might attract Tom's attention. By interrupting me like that, he was telling me to cool off.
I tried. Staying calm is not my greatest strength. Or my second greatest. Actually, it's kind of down there on the list. Way down.
I listened to Jake carrying on a one-sided conversation across the line. He had done this before with all of us, at one time or another. As we took deep breaths and counted to fifty, he made little noises into the phone. "Mmm. Yup. Right, I . . . uh-huh."
"Okay," I said, a little more collected. "Here's the deal. Jordan saw the . . . our guest."
There was a beat of silence as he processed this. "When?" he asked.
"Just now."
"And?"
"And I told her she was a bug."
"And?"
"And she bought it."
"So, what's the problem?"
"The problem," I hissed, "is that I can't deal with this right now. I've got too much on my plate as it is. You know I only agreed because I didn't want it to look like a mutiny out at the scoop."
He thought about that for a minute. "Okay," he said, finally. "I've got to talk to Phillip." Phillip was the name we used for Ax when other people were around. "Can you keep her there tonight?"
"Just get her out of here as soon as you can, Jake."
"Yeah," he said. "Okay. I'll get back with you." He hung up.
I drew a long breath, then turned and looked down at the Helmacron. She was standing out in the open now, looking up at me.
You had best be inordinately pleased that I did not slay your sibling when she was examining me, she said. I was greatly tempted.
"Yeah," I laughed. "I'm pleased."
"*Jordan*!" I shouted. "What are you doing in my room?"
"Kill me later," she said. "Right now, come look at this thing."
I gritted my teeth and bent down. Pretended that I didn't know exactly what was under my bed. That my heart wasn't pounding out of my chest. "Look at what?"
"That," she said, jabbing her finger at the Helmacron. The alien had scuttled back into the shadows, but you could still see her moving around.
"What?" I asked. "That ant?"
"It's not an ant. I saw it when it wasn't so close to the wall. I mean, I couldn't see it all that well. But I think it reared up on its four back legs, and it's shiny, like, this weird silver color."
"So it's a deformed, silver ant," I said. "Get out of my room."
"Rachel," she protested, "You gotta help me catch it. It's wild!"
"Since when are you so interested in bugs?"
She turned her head to look up at me. "Since they looked like they walked off the bridge of the 'Enterprise.'"
"Look, Jordan," I sighed, "It's a bug. Would you get out of my room?"
She sat up on her heels. "Well, excuse me for being interested," she sniffed.
"You're excused."
She slammed my door as hard as she could on her way out.
I got on my stomach and looked down at the Helmacron. "You okay?" I whispered. Actually, I half-hoped she wasn't. It would save us a whole bunch of trouble if she just died of fright.
As if that massive being could cause me discomfort, unless I burst myself laughing at her hideous figure, she snorted derisively. I am a Helmacron female!
"No kidding," I said.
Guess the whole dying of fright thing was out of the question.
I stood. Brushed carpet lint off my shirt. Grabbed the phone off my bedside table. I dialed Jake's number quickly.
A woman's voice answered the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, Aunt Jean?"
"Hi, Jordan, how are you?"
"This is Rachel," I said. Jake's mom could never tell our voices apart over the phone.
"Oops, sorry," she laughed. "How are you?"
Me? Exhausted, paranoid, guilty, angry, frustrated, and fighting a hopeless, endless war against evil alien slugs.
"Fine, thanks. Listen, is Jake around?"
"I think so. Hang on." There was a harsh scraping as she covered the phone with her hand. "Jake!" she yelled. There was a pause. "Tom, go get Jake, would you? Your cousin Rachel's on the phone!"
Tom yelled something back.
"Well, would you take the phone to him?"
There was a brief scuffle, then I heard Tom's voice. "Hey, cousin," he said.
"Hi," I grated tersely. I wouldn't call him Tom unless I had to. Because the thing that had just called me "cousin" wasn't Tom at all. It was the Yeerk that hid behind his eyes.
"Just running the phone up to Jake," he puffed as he climbed the stairs.
I waited, grinding my jaw. If only I could have reached through the phone and ripped that Yeerk right out of his ear.
"Here you go," the Yeerk said.
Then, "Hello?"
"Jake? This is Rachel."
"Hey," he said. "What's up?"
I lowered my voice, in case Jordan might still be lurking around. "I want her out, Jake. I want her out of my house, pronto. I don't care what Ax says, I - "
"That sounds great!" Jake said, interrupting me. We always have to be careful, when on the phone, in case others are listening in. Jake couldn't tell me to just calm down. It might attract Tom's attention. By interrupting me like that, he was telling me to cool off.
I tried. Staying calm is not my greatest strength. Or my second greatest. Actually, it's kind of down there on the list. Way down.
I listened to Jake carrying on a one-sided conversation across the line. He had done this before with all of us, at one time or another. As we took deep breaths and counted to fifty, he made little noises into the phone. "Mmm. Yup. Right, I . . . uh-huh."
"Okay," I said, a little more collected. "Here's the deal. Jordan saw the . . . our guest."
There was a beat of silence as he processed this. "When?" he asked.
"Just now."
"And?"
"And I told her she was a bug."
"And?"
"And she bought it."
"So, what's the problem?"
"The problem," I hissed, "is that I can't deal with this right now. I've got too much on my plate as it is. You know I only agreed because I didn't want it to look like a mutiny out at the scoop."
He thought about that for a minute. "Okay," he said, finally. "I've got to talk to Phillip." Phillip was the name we used for Ax when other people were around. "Can you keep her there tonight?"
"Just get her out of here as soon as you can, Jake."
"Yeah," he said. "Okay. I'll get back with you." He hung up.
I drew a long breath, then turned and looked down at the Helmacron. She was standing out in the open now, looking up at me.
You had best be inordinately pleased that I did not slay your sibling when she was examining me, she said. I was greatly tempted.
"Yeah," I laughed. "I'm pleased."