An hour had passed, and neither Rachel nor Ross had moved from their position. Rachel rested her chin on his head and stared ahead worriedly. It wasn't them she was concerned about, or the possibility that their relationship may take another downward turn. As far as the two of them went, she sadly had to admit that it had took this terrible turn of events to patch them up once and for all. It was Ross she was worried about.
"I don't know if I can do it, Rach," Ross' tear-filled voice broke into her thoughts.
Rachel looked down and stroked his hair with the hand on the arm that wasn't wrapped around his waist, holding him against her. "Do what, sweetie?" she asked gently.
"Go...t-to the wake..." he answered, now sobbing openly against her chest. "I'm so...so scared."
"Oh God, honey, of course you are. Nobody ever wants to have to bury their child. But you won't be alone. I'll be there for you tonight, tomorrow, and the rest of your life." Despite the fact that they were muffled by her sweater, Ross' hitching sobs stung Rachel's ears. And no matter how tightly she held him, he couldn't stop shaking. This was what she was worried about. That all the love she had for him wouldn't be enough to make him whole again.
"Sweetie, I know that this is the hardest thing that you have ever had to go through, and I can't possibly know exactly what it's like. But you're strong, and everything will be fine, no matter how impossible it may seem." Rachel paused and gently kissed the side of his head as he patently tried to calm down. "Shh, take a deep breath...there you go...it will be all right."
Several moments stretched as Ross' breathing gradually resumed slow and steady again. Even then, he remained in the haven that was Rachel's arms. She gently stroked his back.
"Feel better?" she asked softly. Ross nodded and swallowed.
"I love you, Rachel, so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You never will, baby. I'll take care of you, I promise."
Another phase of comfortable silence arose and lingered. Ross lay in Rachel's arms, no longer doubting that there was nothing left for him. He now had what he had always truly desired when he needed her the most.
Phoebe was still at Joey's apartment and still feeling down about her life. She heard a knock at the door and, with a spark of hope, went to answer it. Sure enough, it was Ross, looking thinner, sadder, and sicker than she had ever seen him. His eyes were dull and red, obviously from crying.
"Oh, Ross," Phoebe whispered and held out her arms, pulling him into a tight, comforting hug. He even felt thinner and more fragile than he looked.
"Hey, Pheebs." He said in a rasping voice. She pulled back so he was at arms' length and examined him again.
"Oh God," she grimaced. "Are you okay?" she asked, for once in her life not knowing what else to say.
Ross shrugged. "As good as can be expected. Look, Pheebs, I came to say that I'm sorry for not wanting to talk to you. I...I just didn't want you to see me this way."
"Oh, Ross, it's okay, don't apologize. We have been extremely worried about you, but you needed the time and we understand completely. Come in." She pulled him over to the couch just as Joey walked out of his room. Seeing his friend, he came over and wrapped him in a hug.
"Hey, man. We've missed you."
"Me, too, Joey." Ross felt fresh tears sting his eyes, but absolutely refused to let himself lose it now. He broke the hug and sat down between his two friends, both of their supportive hands on either shoulder. Nothing was said, but all was understood. Ross felt relieved, as he had been nervous about this visit. Even though Rachel had offered to go with him, he was insistent that this was something he needed to do alone. Tonight would be different.
"I don't know if I can do it, Rach," Ross' tear-filled voice broke into her thoughts.
Rachel looked down and stroked his hair with the hand on the arm that wasn't wrapped around his waist, holding him against her. "Do what, sweetie?" she asked gently.
"Go...t-to the wake..." he answered, now sobbing openly against her chest. "I'm so...so scared."
"Oh God, honey, of course you are. Nobody ever wants to have to bury their child. But you won't be alone. I'll be there for you tonight, tomorrow, and the rest of your life." Despite the fact that they were muffled by her sweater, Ross' hitching sobs stung Rachel's ears. And no matter how tightly she held him, he couldn't stop shaking. This was what she was worried about. That all the love she had for him wouldn't be enough to make him whole again.
"Sweetie, I know that this is the hardest thing that you have ever had to go through, and I can't possibly know exactly what it's like. But you're strong, and everything will be fine, no matter how impossible it may seem." Rachel paused and gently kissed the side of his head as he patently tried to calm down. "Shh, take a deep breath...there you go...it will be all right."
Several moments stretched as Ross' breathing gradually resumed slow and steady again. Even then, he remained in the haven that was Rachel's arms. She gently stroked his back.
"Feel better?" she asked softly. Ross nodded and swallowed.
"I love you, Rachel, so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You never will, baby. I'll take care of you, I promise."
Another phase of comfortable silence arose and lingered. Ross lay in Rachel's arms, no longer doubting that there was nothing left for him. He now had what he had always truly desired when he needed her the most.
Phoebe was still at Joey's apartment and still feeling down about her life. She heard a knock at the door and, with a spark of hope, went to answer it. Sure enough, it was Ross, looking thinner, sadder, and sicker than she had ever seen him. His eyes were dull and red, obviously from crying.
"Oh, Ross," Phoebe whispered and held out her arms, pulling him into a tight, comforting hug. He even felt thinner and more fragile than he looked.
"Hey, Pheebs." He said in a rasping voice. She pulled back so he was at arms' length and examined him again.
"Oh God," she grimaced. "Are you okay?" she asked, for once in her life not knowing what else to say.
Ross shrugged. "As good as can be expected. Look, Pheebs, I came to say that I'm sorry for not wanting to talk to you. I...I just didn't want you to see me this way."
"Oh, Ross, it's okay, don't apologize. We have been extremely worried about you, but you needed the time and we understand completely. Come in." She pulled him over to the couch just as Joey walked out of his room. Seeing his friend, he came over and wrapped him in a hug.
"Hey, man. We've missed you."
"Me, too, Joey." Ross felt fresh tears sting his eyes, but absolutely refused to let himself lose it now. He broke the hug and sat down between his two friends, both of their supportive hands on either shoulder. Nothing was said, but all was understood. Ross felt relieved, as he had been nervous about this visit. Even though Rachel had offered to go with him, he was insistent that this was something he needed to do alone. Tonight would be different.