Chapter 20 Secrets

A few days later was a Hogsmeade weekend. On Sunday, Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny went together. They saw Cassius in the Three Broomsticks talking with a brown-haired man in a black robe at a booth. They maneuvered to sit in a table nearby.

"…Fudge wants you back. He sent me to take over."

"Fine." Cassius' voice was emotionless as he stirred sugar into his cup of tea.

"I need a day to finish up some reports. I could start the day after tomorrow, if that's all right?"

"Fine." Cassius took a sip of his tea and put the cup back down.

"Cassie…" The brown-haired man moved his hand to cover Cassius's. "We haven't talked in a while, it'd be nice to catch up. Would you want to have dinner tonight?" Harry felt a surge of anger, was the man was making a pass at his Dad? He knew only friends called his Dad by his nickname.

"No." The voice turned slightly colder.

"We were close once." The man spoke in a warm, gentle voice.

"We fucked once, Bartleby, it's not the same thing." Harry felt shocked – he'd never thought about Dad being with anyone other than Papa.

"You think by being rude I'm going to stop talking to you." Bartleby leaned forward with a slight smile.

"It usually works." Cassius moved his hand away gracefully.

"True." Bartleby answered calmly. Cassius stood up. "I'll come back to Hogwarts with you if that's all right – to look at Audra's plans." Bartleby stood up as well.

"Fine." Cassius's manner towards Bartleby was the same as at the beginning of the conversation. In fact, Harry thought, it had never really changed, he had been cool and distant the entire time.

Harry suddenly noticed that Pansy Parkinson had been sitting at a table nearby with another Slytherin and they were both looking shocked. Harry groaned inwardly. He gestured towards them with his head - Hermione, Ron and Ginny turned and saw the same thing.

"It'll be all over school in an hour." Harry grimaced.

"Well – it's true that he's gay, I mean, would that be a bad thing?" Ron asked. "Harry, the wizarding world doesn't care about same sex relationships."

"Oh…." At least Remus hadn't been mentioned. Harry knew that Cassius would never jeopardize Remus's safety.

"Don't worry, Harry. He wouldn't say anything he hadn't thought about first. You know him." Hermione said reassuringly. Harry's stomach unknotted a little at her words.

"When did you have sex with him?" Remus sounded furious.

"A long time ago, when we were at school together." Cassius hadn't thought that Remus would get angry at the news. Remus had asked what he'd done that afternoon and he'd told him about the conversation with Bartleby, not expecting this reaction. Was it close to the full moon? He hadn't thought it was.

"What year?" Remus growled, his golden eyes glowing.

"My 5th year. In the Transfiguration classroom during the Christmas holidays." Cassius felt himself getting angry. The longer he and Remus had been bonded, the more they fed off each other's emotions, especially when they were aimed at one another. He knew the anger he was feeling was Remus's, but he couldn't stop himself. "Do you want to know how we did it? I bent him over McGonagall's desk and I fucked him."

"So he's one of the six men you dated before me." Remus asked angrily.

"No, I didn't date him, did I?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized he'd made a mistake. He'd kept the number of men he'd had sex with from Remus because there had been many – too many…and he didn't want Remus to know. As it was, he could still remember Remus looking shocked at the fact he had dated six men before he turned 20, he couldn't imagine how Remus would look if he knew the number of men Cassius had had sex with. Damn, he thought.

"So how many men did you have sex with before me, including the ones you dated?" Remus suddenly sounded upset – not angry, Cassius knew Remus had figured out he had lied. Remus hated when he lied.

Cassius looked around the room, desperate to find something besides Remus's hurt face to look at and suddenly saw Harry standing there. "Hi, Harry." Harry looked very upset, he wondered how long he'd been in the room. He glanced at his watch, it was a couple minutes past 8.

"Harry!" Remus looked over towards his son before turning back to his husband. "We are not done with this conversation, Cassius Lupin." His voice vibrated with anger and hurt. Cassius nodded silently.

"I…I can go – if you want to finish." Harry sounded very tentative.

"No…no, Harry…it's fine. We'll be fine." Remus took a deep breath. "And how was your day?"

"Not bad, until I heard Dad will be leaving tomorrow. Which means you'll be leaving too." Harry sounded very sad. Cassius felt a sharp stab of guilt, Harry had so much to deal with and now to lose his support system again.

"I'm planning to come for all the Quidditch games." Remus said with a smile. "So don't look so gloomy." He crossed to Harry and gave him a quick hug.

"Papa – you won't leave Dad, will you?" Harry's voice hitched as he asked the question. Cassius felt his stomach start to somersault – was Remus mad enough to leave him? He felt ill at the thought of not having Remus with him. The time they'd been apart when Remus was at Hogwarts had been unbearable. Remus hadn't left when Cassius had told him about Harry – about knowing for 4 years and keeping it a secret. Remus had been calm when he told Harry but they had a huge row about it once Harry had gone to bed. They had worked through that, they'd survived Cassius' jealousy of Sirius…surely Remus wouldn't leave now. Even though they were bonded, it was possible for them to separate – it just meant death for both mates after a period of time.

"Leave him? No, Harry, I won't leave him. I'm just mad at him – remember, you can be mad at someone and still love them."

Harry nodded, looking over at Cassius, who suddenly realized he'd been chewing his nails. He thrust his hands in his pockets.

"Come sit down – do you want some tea?" Remus walked over towards the couch with his arm around Harry.

Cassius walked slowly towards the chair opposite the couch …trying to convince his stomach to stop turning over. Remus had told Harry he wouldn't leave – Remus wouldn't lie to Harry. Remus and Harry sat together on the couch and Remus conjured up some tea and cookies. Cassius sat down and looked at his hands.

"Dad…" Harry had picked up a cookie and curled up on the couch next to Remus.

"Yes?" Cassius lifted his head and tried to make his voice calm. Remus wasn't looking at him. He wouldn't leave, he couldn't…

"So – it's not a secret – that you, you know, like men?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"No. The fall of my 5th year – everyone found out. I never bothered to hide it after that"

"Cass, stop." Remus said gently. He realized he'd been chewing his fingernails again…he'd made one of his fingers bleed. Remus took his wand out and did a quick healing spell on it. "And why did everyone know?" Remus asked as he sat back on the couch.

"I was…with someone." Cassius flushed, balling up his hands and forcing himself to put them in his lap. "Cousin Regulus walked in, within a few hours the whole school knew."

Suddenly, they heard pounding on the portrait door.

"Uncle!" It was Draco.

"Damn!" Cassius muttered as he put his head in his hands. As if his day couldn't get any worse. "Come, Harry." Remus stood quickly and they went into the bedroom and closed the door. Cassius vanished Remus and Harry's teacups. After making sure there was no sign anyone else had been there, he walked slowly towards the portrait door and opened it. His nephew was standing outside, slightly out of breath, a lock of his blond hair hanging over one eye.

"Good evening, Uncle Malfoy. May I come in?" His nephew sounded cool and formal.

"Certainly, Nephew." Cassius stepped back to let Draco enter. "Tea? I was just about to have some."

"Yes, thank you, Uncle." Draco's voice warmed. Cassius poured two cups and handed one to Draco.

"To what do I owe this visit?" Cassius stirred sugar into his tea, trying to seem calm.

"Pansy just told me about the conversation you had in the Three Broomsticks today."

"And?"

"You'll be leaving soon?" Draco sounded plaintive.

"Yes."

"I…I liked having you here." Draco stirred some sugar into his tea, eyes downcast.

"I liked being here." Cassius meant it, although for reasons that didn't have everything to do with Draco.

"Pansy asked me if you had someone."

"What did you tell her?"

"That it was none of her business. I didn't know what to say…I didn't want to admit you'd never let me meet him." Draco looked up and Cassius gazed into the pale grey eyes that were just like his brother's, just like his father's. "Why haven't I ever gotten to meet your friend?"

"I think it's safer that you don't."

"Safer for him?" Cassius nodded. "I'm not my father!" Draco's eyes flashed with anger as he understood the implication.

"I know you're not. Believe me, I don't think you are." Cassius said gently.

"Then why can't I meet him?" Draco still sounded angry.

"Because your father could get the information from you – yes, he could, Draco, if he wanted to…I don't trust him, not anymore. You shouldn't either, his loyalty isn't to the Malfoys now."

There was silence as Draco sipped his tea. Cassius clenched his fist and held his cup in his other hand. He was determined not to chew his fingers in front of Draco. His stomach clenched as he thought about Remus and Harry listening to their conversation. It reminded him that Remus was still very angry at him – Cassius prayed that Remus wouldn't leave him.

"You've been together a long time." Draco said quietly. Draco had known that his uncle had someone, Cassius had mentioned him casually, for as long as he could remember, of course not by name.

"Yes, since you were young, I think you were three."

"And you've kept his name from Father, from everyone, all this time?"

"Yes. Do you remember your grandfather?"

"Y-yes." Draco's voice hitched. Cassius wondered just how much Draco remembered – he'd been 9 when his grandfather had died.

"My main concern was keeping my husband a secret from him. After he died…I just continued, it was safer that way."

"Oh…"

There was silence, other than the clinking of teacups.

"You love him very much."

"Yes, I do." Cassius' voice shook with emotion.

"I wish…" Draco trailed off.

"Yes?"

"I wish I could meet him." Draco's brows drew together. "Could we do a spell so I could meet him but Father couldn't ever find out?"

"Draco – does it mean that much to you?" Cassius was surprised at Draco's persistence.

"I…I love you, Uncle Malfoy." Draco's face flushed – it was the first time he had ever said that to Cassius. "I want to meet my other uncle. Aside from Mum, you're all I have."

"I'll think about it." Cassius felt guilty at the smile that immediately lit Draco's face. He hadn't really meant it…he'd never endanger Remus.

"I should go – wouldn't do for a prefect to be caught out in the halls after curfew." Draco continued to smile as he stood up.

"Good night, Nephew."

"Good night, Uncle." Draco hugged Cassius tight. Cassius returned the hug just as tightly. He and Draco had a special bond – although he wished he had done more to steer Draco away from Lucius' philosophy about purebloods and Voldemort…but at least he'd seemed to make some difference, Draco wasn't a clone of Lucius. Cassius walked to the portrait door with Draco. Once Draco was outside, Cassius leaned against the wall feeling drained. He wanted this day to be over.

"Did you mean that?" Harry burst out of the bedroom, shaking with anger.

"Mean what?" Cassius wasn't sure what part of the conversation Harry was referring to.

"That you'd let Draco meet Papa! He'd…he'd…"

"I said I'd think about it – and I have and he won't." Cassius felt a headache begin in his right temple.

"Oh…well – good." Harry calmed down a bit.

"Harry – the last thing in the world I want is for Remus to be hurt by my family…I muck things up enough as it is…"

"Cass – it's all right." Remus said softly. "Harry, Dad and I need to talk…would it be all right?" He looked over at their son. Harry nodded. "Come by tomorrow before breakfast." Harry nodded again. Remus walked over and pulled Harry in for a tight hug. "Don't you worry. We're a family, nothing is going to change that. We love you." He kissed Harry on the forehead.

"Good night, Papa." Harry walked over to Cassius who was still leaning up against the wall next to the portrait door. "Good night, Dad." He hugged Cassius who hugged Harry back so tightly he heard Harry's back crack. "I love you."

"I love you, Harry. Sleep tight." Cassius pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead and then let him go. The portrait door closed after Harry climbed through. Cassius stood staring at the door Harry had just gone through. He heard Remus walk up behind him.

"I love you." Remus said softly as he moved closer to Cassius. "And I know you love me. Just answer me…how many men have you had sex with, not counting me."

"Remus…"

"It doesn't matter now – I just want to know."

"41." Cassius mumbled, feeling his face get hot.

"So I'm number 42."

Cassius nodded. "I didn't want to tell you when we first started dating…you looked so shocked when I said I'd dated six…I didn't want you to think I was a total…"

"Slut?" Cassius could hear the smile in Remus' voice.

"Something like that, yeah." He ran his hands through his hair.

"I was shocked when you said you'd dated six men, because I didn't think you dated men. And if you'll remember, you then said you were dating me, when I didn't know we'd been dating. There was a lot for me to be shocked at." Remus smiled at the memory.

"But if I had said I'd had sex with 41 men…you'd have freaked, you would have, Remus, don't deny it."

"All right…I probably would have…but…you still could have told me."

"Well…now I've told you."

"What else haven't you told me?" Remus asked gently.

"Nothing – that was my last secret." Cassius still couldn't face Remus.

"A Malfoy without any secrets…" Remus spoke softly as he walked around to face Cassius. "I never thought I'd see the day." He stood on tiptoe to rub his nose against Cassius'. "Although you've been a Lupin almost 12 years now, it was bound to happen sometime." Cassius smiled. Remus smiled back. "I think I love you even more than I did when we got married."

"Is that possible? You loved me a lot then."

"I love you more now." Remus said firmly before kissing him. "And I'd never leave you. Don't you ever even think I'd leave you. You hear me?"

Cassius nodded, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He pulled Remus towards him.

Harry came by before breakfast the next morning. He was very relieved that his parents weren't fighting anymore. In fact, they seemed closer than they had before, if that was even possible. Harry left their room feeling very happy. Remus promised to come for the next Quidditch game. Cassius just told him he would see him in class. They both hugged him tightly and told him they loved him. Although he would be glad not to deal with Auror Malfoy in class, Harry would miss the evening visits with his parents.

That day in DADA class, they tried the Patronus charm on the boggart/Dementor. Harry was able to fend it off successfully, as were Hermione (on her second try), Ron, and the rest of the Gryffindors, except Neville. He was unable to do one. Draco's patronus was just a whisp although it looked like Cassius to Harry, which angered him. Harry noticed that none of the Slytherins could produce a Patronus at all, other than Draco. After a couple attempts, Cassius used a memory charm to transmit a happy memory to everyone so that in the end they all could do a successful patronus. Dumbledore wanted all 6th years and above to be able to do the charm.

Remus came for the Quidditch game against Ravenclaw. Harry was happy to see his Papa again so soon. Dad had written Harry that morning to wish Harry luck although he hoped that Ravenclaw won since it'd been years since they'd won the cup. Harry had shown the letter to Ron and they both had laughed.

"So, Potter. I see you have poor taste in guardians as well as friends." Draco drawled as he walked up next to Harry and Remus.

"Watch it Malfoy – there's a bunny behind you." Draco whirled around swiftly. "Oh, it must have hopped away. It was so cute, little pink nose, big ears. I think it liked you. It'll probably be back. I think..." Harry leaned closer to Draco, sniffing the air. "Yes, you smell like carrots, it must be attracted to you. Probably was trying to sneak a nibble." Harry had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. The expression on Draco's face was priceless. He was looking around himself fearfully but he was also trying to compose himself and get the Malfoy sneer back on his face.

"Come on, Papa, I need to get down to the pitch." Harry walked away haughtily.

"What was that all about?" Remus asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Dad told me that Draco is afraid of bunnies." Harry grinned.