Playing Nice

Lorelai rolled over in her sleep and found herself blinking, suddenly awake, having pushed herself face-first into the mattress. She lifted her head, disoriented. The room was lit only by the gray light of an early, rainy dawn. Luke sat on the edge of the bed, already in his jeans, tying his shoelaces. Lorelai sat up and dragged herself across the bed to lean against Luke's back.

"Hey," he said softly, "go back to sleep."

"What time is it?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his middle.

"It's early," he told her. "Sleep."

She kissed his shoulder. "I feel like I've been sleeping forever."

"We did go to bed kinda early."

Lorelai giggled. "Well, we went did go to be early, but we went to sleep later than that."

Luke turned slightly and put his arm around her. He kissed her temple, resting his chin against her hair. "So, you feeling more rested? No Jack Nicholson or ladies in the kitchen?"

"Better not be ladies in the kitchen," she said. "But, yes, I got some very good sleep."

"Good, get some more."

With this he moved to rise, but Lorelai tightened her arms around him. "Wait. Just stay a second." She took his hand and tugged him back with her as she scooted towards her pillow. With a sigh, he lay down beside her, letting his feet hang off the edge of the bed. She fit herself against his side, laying her hand over his heart. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I really, really, really don't want to have dinner with my dad tonight." Luke sighed, but said nothing. "It just feels so—I don't know, hypocritical? To sit there and make stupid small talk and pretend that he's actually interested in my life when he hasn't been for thirty some-odd years except for the times he was telling me what to do or passing judgments on what I did do." She paused. "Even at Friday night dinners, you know, it was my mom who was making an effort, never my dad. And I know he's trying and I know I should just accept that and go along with it, but I'm not sure how long I can do that before I just start feeling bitter and squelched and boxed in again."

Luke laced his fingers through Lorelai's and lifted their joined hands slightly, considering them a moment. "I don't know what you want me to say," he said, at length. "I can't tell you what to do."

She tilted her face to look up at him. "Do you think I'm being petty?"

"I don't know," Luke said.

Lorelai closed her eyes, tapping her fingertips against Luke's hand. "Okay," she said.

"Okay?"

"I'll think about it, and I'll let you know."

"Okay, then," Luke said. "I have to go. I'll see you in a few hours?"

She murmured in agreement as he sat up again and got out of bed. Lorelai curled herself around a pillow. "Sleepy," she sighed.

Luke was already pulling his flannel shirt over his tee. He walked back to the bed and leaned over her, smoothing the hair off her forehead and kissing her cheek lightly. "I'll see you soon."

Lorelai raised her head and looked at him through half-closed eyes. "Prepare yourself for the deluge," she said.

"The deluge?"

"We made out in the town square for all the world to see, Luke. People will be talking. People will be pointing. Possibly in combination."

Luke put his hat on and shook his head. "Go back to sleep."

Her alarm went off at seven-thirty and it took all the early morning restraint she could muster not to throw it against the wall, cover her head with a pillow, and go back to sleep. She rose immediately and stumbled down the stairs, shuffled to the kitchen, and swung out the filter to see if Luke had left coffee ready for her. She smiled. "And this is why I love you, Luke Danes," she said, and pushed the power button.

As she walked around the house, getting ready, sipping her coffee, dawdling over the arts section of the paper, Lorelai kept passing the phone; each time she did, she stopped, stared, shook her head, and moved on. Halfway out the door on her way to town, she bit her lip, hesitating.

"This is ridiculous," she said aloud, and stalked to the phone, dialing before she had time to think. Her father answered on the second ring. "Dad, hi," she said, her voice sounding high and tinny to her own ears.

"Lorelai," Richard said, surprised. "It's rather early for you, isn't it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, no, I do go to work, you know, all day, so this is pretty standard."

"Ah, well. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Lorelai turned in a circle as she spoke, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear. "Actually, Dad," she began, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to talk to you about dinner tonight."

"Do you have a special request for the meal?"

"Well, no," she said. She dropped to sit on the floor and put a hand to her forehead. "I was wondering if there was anyway we could possibly reschedule? For another night?"

"Oh," he said. "Well—"

"It's just that Mom and Rory are going to be home this coming Thursday, and we've still got so much to do in Rory's room, and there's not that much time to do it all," she said.

"I see."

The disappointment in his voice hit Lorelai full in the chest. She bit her lip. "I was just—I thought maybe we could postpone for a week or two, or—" She paused, shaking her head. "Are you free for lunch today?"

"Lunch?"

She sat up a little straighter. "Yes, it's a meal commonly consumed at mid-day. If you're free, maybe we could—"

"I believe I could work that into my schedule, yes," he said.

"Great," she replied, though she thought he still sounded wounded. "Should I meet you somewhere, or do you want to come out here, or—?"

Richard seemed to pause a moment. "I quite liked the food at Luke's, both when I had dinner with you and when I stopped in yesterday. Perhaps we could—"

"Luke's? You want to go to Luke's? Sure, okay, yeah, fine," she said, stuttering slightly. "Luke's. Around… one?"

"One it is."

"Okay. Well. Thanks, Dad. See you then."

"Goodbye, Lorelai."

She drove to town, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel. Dear Rory, she thought, how is it possible to feel guilty for getting out of something that you didn't want to do in the first place, so guilty, in fact, that you devise a whole new method of torture instead? Is that normal behavior? And, while we're on it, why do I feel guilty in the first place? She sighed and slammed the door of the Jeep shut, made her way across the street. She opened the door to the diner and immediately walked to the counter.

The place was nearly full, as it always was at this time of morning, and as Lorelai entered, a hush fell over the room. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I know, I know, okay?" she said.

Luke emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hand on a towel. "Hey," he greeted her. He looked around. "What's going on?"

"I have finally silenced a room just by coming in," Lorelai said. "You know, I always thought achieving my life's dream would be a little sweeter than this."

He poured her a cup of coffee. "Ignore it."

"Gladly," she said, taking a sip. She raised an eyebrow. "This is an excellent cup of coffee. Tell me, what is your secret?"

"I'll never tell," he told her, grinning. "So. How's things?"

"And by things, you mean my dad," she said. She folded her arms on the countertop and leaned forward, her eyes sad. "I called him. I told him I needed to reschedule the dinner because we needed to work on Rory's room, what with her homecoming rapidly approaching." She raised her eyes to meet Luke's. "I really hurt his feelings. I could tell."

"Ah, geez."

Lorelai pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, pouting slightly. "I know. So then I asked him if he wanted to meet for lunch, and he asked to meet me here, and all I can think about is the last time we did that, which was one of the most horrible nights of my life, and I am still going to have to sit and play nice with my dad because I, apparently, have no resolve whatsoever. More coffee, please."

Luke topped off her cup. "You did a good thing."

"After I did a mean thing." She made a face. "Whatever. I'll deal. I've sat through innumerable uncomfortable meals in my life, I can sit through this one." She sighed. "Do you think I can just go back to bed and sleep through the rest of this week?"

"Nope." He put a plate with a heated, buttered, blueberry muffin on it in front of her. "You want anything else?"

She smirked. "Nothing you could serve on a plate," she said.

"Inappropriate," Luke said. He paused a beat and stepped away from Lorelai towards the center of the counter. "Would you people just get a life already? Geez," he bellowed.

Lorelai polished off her muffin, chugged her coffee, and slid off the stool. She gestured to Luke, who was serving a couple by the window.

"I have to go to work. My dad's coming by at one, and I should be on time, but, you know, just in case. So, I'll be back," she said, patting his chest with the flat of her hand.

He caught her hand and held it there, leaning in. "We might as well get it over with," he said, his voice low.

"Well, after an enchanting proposal like that, how can I resist?" Lorelai said wryly. She kissed him lightly and turned to go as the diner erupted in "oooh!"s.

"You're very funny," she heard Luke say before the door closed behind her.

Lorelai wandered into the kitchen of the Dragonfly after checking in with Michel. "Hey, Sook," she said, idly peering into a bowl that stood on the counter.

Sookie grinned knowingly. "Heard you put on quite the show in the square last night," she said.

"Yes, yes, mock me if you will. The entire town is watching us even more than before, and I really hold you responsible," Lorelai told her.

"Me? How?" Sookie asked, her eyes wide.

Lorelai stepped to the coffeemaker and poured herself a cup. "You told me to let it go, so I let it go."

"I didn't tell you to let it go in front of the entire town," she replied.

"No, I added that part," she assented.

"And?"

Lorelai smiled slightly, almost shyly. "I can honestly say that everything is good."

Sookie clapped her hands and threw her arms out to give Lorelai a hug. "See?" she said. "You should listen to me more often."

Lorelai stared at the clock in her office obsessively all morning as she flipped through her account books and sifted through mail, unable to concentrate. At five of one, she grabbed her purse and slowly made her way towards town.

Her father was waiting for her a table near the back of the diner, his elbows on the tabletop, his hands folded beneath his chin. He rose when she entered, gesturing at the empty seat opposite him. Lorelai sidestepped a few patrons and gave her father a nervous greeting as she sat.

"Have you ordered yet?" she asked him, reaching for the menu. She scanned the long-familiar text, unwilling to meet her father's eyes.

He shook his head. "I would never order until my lunch companion arrived," he said. "Why don't you order for me, you know what's the best here."

She slammed the menu shut. "That I do," she said.

Luke was at her elbow, then, pouring her a cup of coffee before she could ask. "Hello, sir," he said. "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"It's really good coffee," Lorelai said, peeking over the rim of her cup. "Best coffee, possibly, ever."

"Well, then, how can I refuse?" Richard said.

"You ready to order?" Luke asked.

"I am always ready to order," she said. "We're going to have the French dip."

"Extra fries," Luke replied.

Lorelai watched him walk away, sighing slightly. She tipped her head to the side and looked at her father. "Dad, I'm sorry about this evening. We just—I have to get all the pictures framed and decide where they're going to go, and Luke's not finished with the desk yet, and I have to get all of Rory's clothes back in—"

"It's quite all right, Lorelai," Richard said. "I understand."

She looked down and sipped her coffee. "Dad?"

"Yes, Lorelai?"

"I need to tell you something, and I know—I know we've talked about this before and we promised yesterday to be on our best behavior, but you know me, I never fail to disappoint—"

Richard heaved a sigh and rubbed his eyes with one hand. "And what is on your mind, Lorelai?"

Lorelai gripped her coffee cup with both hands. "Dad, I know that you feel forging ahead in our relationship is an important step for you in doing whatever it is you're trying to do, to change, or grow, or to show Mom how much you love her, and I know that you're doing this for the sake of family and blood and all of those things. I know you're trying to accept my life the way it is, even if you don't approve. I know that. And I know that neither of us wants to rehash everything that's happened, everything that was said and done and not said and not done ever since I got pregnant. I don't want to revisit those things, I don't want to have to defend myself or make you angry or be angry—I don't want to do that. But you have to know that I can't just pretend those things didn't happen. I can't start over without recognizing that we're coming from a seriously dysfunctional place. And—and I'm willing to try, I am, but I can't do it without telling you that. Or without telling you that sometimes, this is just going to be hard, trying to talk to you, trying to find common ground, feeling like this is really where you want to be." She stopped, met his eyes, took a breath. "I think what you're doing is—trying to change is one of the hardest things anyone can do, and I think it's great you're trying. And I'll try, too, I'll try to do my best. But I just needed to tell you that."

For a long while, Richard simply sat, nodding his head, his face set in hard, concentrated lines. Luke arrived in the interim with their meal, just touching Lorelai's shoulder as he walked away. Richard, at length, unfolded a napkin on his lap and met Lorelai's eyes. "Thank you, Lorelai," he said.

Lorelai hesitated before she spoke again. "Dad?"

"Yes, Lorelai?" he asked wearily.

"I just—I want to know what you're going to do when Mom comes back. Are you going to sit down and talk to her, or are you—"

He sighed. "I really don't know, Lorelai, to tell you the truth. I am hoping she'll come back. If she doesn't—" He hesitated, slightly at this, a hitch in his voice. "—if she doesn't, then I shall do my very best to show her…" He trailed off.

"To show her… what, Dad?" Lorelai asked. "That you're now an accomplished squash player in addition to your skill on the golf course? That you've used the time apart to become a professional ballroom dancer? That you've taken up macramé?"

Richard stared intently at the food on his plate. "That I need her very much."

Lorelai said nothing for a moment, watching her father, who seemed suddenly rather frail and tired and thin. "Okay, Dad," she said. "It'll work out, you know."

"Will it?" he asked. Lorelai had never seen her father this pained, not even the night she had told him and Emily she was pregnant

She nodded. "Yeah, Dad."

"And if it doesn't?"

Lorelai began to pick at her fries. "You keep on doing what you're doing," she said.

Richard considered this a moment and sipped his coffee. He looked up, his face both delighted and surprised. "This coffee is superb," he said.

Lorelai laughed aloud. "Yes, Dad, it most certainly is."