Continuance of chpater one: Apparent peace of mind
Lyrics to Mad world
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had.
Michael's pov-
This drive which motivates me to kill, corrupts me to the point of possession. The awful silence that follows, the satisfying surrender of life, torments and taunts me for I only feel relief from the insane rage that burns within me when I kill. I look at Loomis and see grief and pain way heavy upon his face, all these years I have suffered as he has. Even his voice seems to be filled with exhaustion and sadness, I know his heart cannot go though this again the pain, the horror of my madness. And I wont make him explain what I have come to understand, my will, my mind, is enslaved by this curse.
My love is gone, I haven't any thoughts of it, I lost love and humanity long ago, I hear it echo in my mind though it's distant and fades like the memory that it is. I tried to control this insanity, I tried to cry out but love and mercy all but gone. I fear that my soul has been stolen in this hell, and even when I think of myself I think of someone else instead. What have I become? What kind of man kills his own family? I know that it's over and probably in vain to seek forgiveness but I can't help but pray for some kind of peace from this horrible pain. I wish that I could tell you how sorry Iam, it's hard for me though because I feel numb, empty, and alone. I beg death, please take me!!
Loomis pov-
God only knows that I have try to save him so many times. I can feel my grief and anger burn slowly like whisky. Have I failed? I vowed to protect the innocent and unaware from him, but he was always one step ahead of me. Is there anything left to say? I scream, I beg but to no avail! Why do I continue to believe that there might be some hope, some meaning to it all? I have seen so many people die, I almost think there is no escape, no resistance, to Michael's insanity. And yet here I am again trying to reach Michael trying to see something, anything, Even if it's just for a moment. Everytime I think it's over, I want so badly to find some happiness but I only feel sadness because everyone I have known has been taken from me. As soon as I take a breath I find that Michael has once again avoided death or entrapment.
Do I hate him? I'm not sure anymore, I sleep just to pray for some ending to all of this. I need closure, and in a way I know it's not entirely his fault. This man has somehow taken over my life, I wish I had never look into his cold "devil eyes" since than he has been in my mind and thoughts. Than I think if I didn't met him would other doctors be able to handle him, no one can really control him. Not even death can claim Michael, and here I sit watching him look out the window just watching with a blank expression, like he did years ago. Damn you Michael, why do I come after you each time? And for what, no answer? Is there any answer to this at all? I'm at odds with myself, I do not know what to do anymore, I just don't.
The doctor's face took on a pained express as he saw he failed to reach Michael once more. His eyes fell upon Michael's back wanting to kill him but save him at the same time." I can take this right now, I must leave you." Loomis said though he was at a loss for words and that was the only thing Michael heard come from his lips as he stood up and made a quiet exit. Michael could only hear the shutting of the door and the footsteps of loomis now walking down the hall.
Michael's Pov
I can feel his eyes on my back now. His hate and anguish, have always shone in his eyes as they are now. I hear him walking away from me, as if to say he has given up all hope to ever understand of save me. If he wants to live though he had better save himself. I feel sleep in my eyes, and I'm actually welcoming it, I know the doctor's tomorrow will be much worse with their fucking questions which make me want to strangle them and their theory's about why I became a killer. I'll surely kill them if they get in my way, I have no time for civilized talking. I am immortal and my pain is everlasting as long as my relatives live.
End of Chapter one-
Lyrics to Mad world
I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had.
Michael's pov-
This drive which motivates me to kill, corrupts me to the point of possession. The awful silence that follows, the satisfying surrender of life, torments and taunts me for I only feel relief from the insane rage that burns within me when I kill. I look at Loomis and see grief and pain way heavy upon his face, all these years I have suffered as he has. Even his voice seems to be filled with exhaustion and sadness, I know his heart cannot go though this again the pain, the horror of my madness. And I wont make him explain what I have come to understand, my will, my mind, is enslaved by this curse.
My love is gone, I haven't any thoughts of it, I lost love and humanity long ago, I hear it echo in my mind though it's distant and fades like the memory that it is. I tried to control this insanity, I tried to cry out but love and mercy all but gone. I fear that my soul has been stolen in this hell, and even when I think of myself I think of someone else instead. What have I become? What kind of man kills his own family? I know that it's over and probably in vain to seek forgiveness but I can't help but pray for some kind of peace from this horrible pain. I wish that I could tell you how sorry Iam, it's hard for me though because I feel numb, empty, and alone. I beg death, please take me!!
Loomis pov-
God only knows that I have try to save him so many times. I can feel my grief and anger burn slowly like whisky. Have I failed? I vowed to protect the innocent and unaware from him, but he was always one step ahead of me. Is there anything left to say? I scream, I beg but to no avail! Why do I continue to believe that there might be some hope, some meaning to it all? I have seen so many people die, I almost think there is no escape, no resistance, to Michael's insanity. And yet here I am again trying to reach Michael trying to see something, anything, Even if it's just for a moment. Everytime I think it's over, I want so badly to find some happiness but I only feel sadness because everyone I have known has been taken from me. As soon as I take a breath I find that Michael has once again avoided death or entrapment.
Do I hate him? I'm not sure anymore, I sleep just to pray for some ending to all of this. I need closure, and in a way I know it's not entirely his fault. This man has somehow taken over my life, I wish I had never look into his cold "devil eyes" since than he has been in my mind and thoughts. Than I think if I didn't met him would other doctors be able to handle him, no one can really control him. Not even death can claim Michael, and here I sit watching him look out the window just watching with a blank expression, like he did years ago. Damn you Michael, why do I come after you each time? And for what, no answer? Is there any answer to this at all? I'm at odds with myself, I do not know what to do anymore, I just don't.
The doctor's face took on a pained express as he saw he failed to reach Michael once more. His eyes fell upon Michael's back wanting to kill him but save him at the same time." I can take this right now, I must leave you." Loomis said though he was at a loss for words and that was the only thing Michael heard come from his lips as he stood up and made a quiet exit. Michael could only hear the shutting of the door and the footsteps of loomis now walking down the hall.
Michael's Pov
I can feel his eyes on my back now. His hate and anguish, have always shone in his eyes as they are now. I hear him walking away from me, as if to say he has given up all hope to ever understand of save me. If he wants to live though he had better save himself. I feel sleep in my eyes, and I'm actually welcoming it, I know the doctor's tomorrow will be much worse with their fucking questions which make me want to strangle them and their theory's about why I became a killer. I'll surely kill them if they get in my way, I have no time for civilized talking. I am immortal and my pain is everlasting as long as my relatives live.
End of Chapter one-