Mel: Hey guys sorry about the wait! I'm too lazy for my own good and never
had a time to type it up! Well hey thank you to my 2 star
reviewers.....well actually my only two reviewers I love you both!!!!
(Mandi you don't count!!) Well anyways with out any further ado....chapter
1!
Disclaimer: We own nothing.....unfortunately! But hey a girl can dream can't she? Everything you see and recognize belongs to JRR Tolkien!
No elves were harmed the making of this fic...
Legolas: Speak for yourself!!
Mel: Leggo-luv shush it!!! Or you WON'T be getting your shirt back!
Legolas: .::whimpers::.
Nes: ::Chuckles manically at the bondage Mel put the poor pointy eared prince through::
**
Chapter One
The three girls were shocked as they flew through the time/space continuum. Sam began to fidget nervously.
"Umm guys, do you remember the bleacher incident..." she said.
"Ya mean the one where Mandi jumped off screaming 'I CAN FLY' and we fell off from laughing so hard?" Liz questioned.
"Yurp, and do you remember what we said about gravity after that?"
"Oh! Oh I know! Pick me! Pick me!" Mandi squealed like a little puppy.
"Ok Mandi, go ahead" Sam said exasperatedly.
"We said we'd never trust gravity again because it's prejudiced against teenage girls." She said promptly.
"Now that that is out of the way. Can I now point out that we are FLOATING! Quick plan B! Plan B!"
The girls then began to flap their hands like the perverted penguins they all wish to be.
**
Suddenly a great brightness enclosed around them and they were in a courtyard full of males, still flapping away. Liz opened her eyes,
"Holy fire on the spam can! We landed in heaven!"
"Normally" Sam began in awe "I'd believe you. But you two in heaven?! Puh- lease!"
"US?!" Mandi exclaimed, "You're the one that got us cursed by those Jehovah's witnesses, AND burnt down the gym last year!"
"I still say there was a vampire in there" she responded stubbornly.
"Guys! Stop bickering amongst yourselves and look around." Liz interjected stopping the would-have-been fight.
"Yes mother" the two responded sarcastically.
"So," interjected a new voice, full of power and wisdom," it looks as if we have some visitors."
The girls turned around and stared at a tall elf, with dark brown hair, dressed in a purple robe (A/N cough*dress*cough)
"Well smack me Sally and call me Bob." Said Mandi, "it's Captain French Fry!"
"How the dickens did we get here? Better yet, why are we here?" Liz pondered aloud.
"Coincidently, I was wondering the same thing." Said the sugar plum fair- err...elf.
"Dude," curly haired teen said in awe, "do ya think he's real?"
"Of course I am re-" the elf lord began, but was cut off by an uncomfortable sensation in his arm.
"Sure feels real to me." Liz declared prodding Elrond in the arm.
Said elf quickly pulled his arm from the brunette and summoned a couple of surly-looking elves.
"Take them to my study so they may be questioned priv-" however, he was interrupted yet again, this time by a deep booming voice.
"It was I who beckoned them here." The beings gathered all turned to look at the old, weathered looking man who had spoken.
"Gandalf, I usually trust your judgments but these are but young girls, how could they be of use."
"HEY!" Sam argued, "I'll have you know, I killed a fly, that's right! A fly, and it was a demon one at that!"
"YEAH," Liz added, "and I talk anyone to death so there!"
"AND..I can make macaroni and cheese without killing myself." Mandi proclaimed.
"I am sure these are admirable traits, where you hail from miladies but they seem to be of little use to middle-earth and its pending fate." Elrond reasoned.
"Never" Mandi said in a deadly whisper, "underestimate the powers of macaroni and cheese, in front of me."
"I foresaw great terror," the wizard broke in "and these young girls, Lord Elrond proved themselves to be worthy of this privilege."
Both of them then turned to the girls to see what they would say to this, but it seemed only Liz was paying any slight attention, as the other two had lost interest in the conversation and were now looking around the circle of beings as if they were searching for a certain someone. Simultaneously, their gazes locked on their prey and before anyone could blink they threw themselves upon the unsuspecting Prince of Mirkwood with shouts of "PRECIOUS!" and "LEGGY-DARLING!"
**
The poor elf in question was too shocked to say anything and soon found himself being petted and squeezed into oblivion. The girls were in complete bliss. That is until the other elves, who had by now overcome their initial shock, started to pull them away from Legolas.
"NO!" cried Sam defiantly, "MINE! He's mine damnit! Back off you rogue! I'll bite you goldilocks, don't tempt me! Lemme go! Let me go! I've waited 17 forking years for this moment! LET ME GO!"
Mandi was making similar threats. Then suddenly, she was struck with an idea so great it felt like she got hit with Sam's fly swatter (A/N heh heh)
"Hey!" she cried, "look a TREE!"
The gathered elves, being the, well...elves they are, stopped pulling the girls and looked at the grand spectacle.
"Suckas!" the mischievous blonde said.
"Lolliepops!? Where!? Where?! I need sugar!" Liz screamed frantically.
"Not lolliepops you blustering noodle! They were fooled by my ingenious plan."
"Umm, Ego much?"
While the two friends bantered back and forth Sam was petting her elf squeaking in middle earthian fan-girl bliss.
"Milady," interjected Legolas, who seemed to have finally regained some of his motor skills, "do you think you could possibly release me?"
"Leggo-my-eggo!" she squeaked, "you're better than all the pop tarts this side of the milky-way!"
"Well, thank you, I think. However I am finding it hard to breathe at the moment."
"Ahh!!!" cried Mandi, "you're hurting the precious!"
"Noooo! I've sinned against all that is fan-girl-dom.
"Dom?! WHERE?!" cried Liz," Dom! DOM! I love you!!!"
"What's a Dom?" a foreign voice asked.
"THE Dom, thank you very much." Liz said haughtily, "and for your information he is...he's...umm...I suddenly don't really remember."
"LIZ!" Mandi yelled in disbelief, " how can you not remember your Dom? He's your...err...well...umm."
"It's as I feared, their memory of their world is rapidly deteriorating. Not all but most. They should remember everything that they held dear, save a few sporadic memories " Gandalf explained solemnly.
"Kilts?" Liz whimpered pitifully, "toast?"
"Orli-luv?" Sam broke down, "Kiwi?"
"Archery?" Mandi cried, "fan-fics?"
"The council will be postponed until we get our new visitors situated." Elrond Half-elven proclaimed.
**
"So basically this is one pissed off possessed ring." Mandi said after Gandalf finished explaining the ordeal of the One Ring to the three girls.
"That is only a part of it, the Dark Lord controls the Ring, and he wants it back so he can rule Middle Earth and bring darkness to all." Mithrandir said exasperatedly, for this was the fourth time he had explained this.
"How can a hunk of metal, a tacky hunk of metal, but a hunk of metal nonetheless be evil?" Sam inquired.
"Well you see..."
"What would've happened if it hadn't been his size?" Liz pondered aloud.
The old man threw up his arms in frustration and stormed from the room muttering about the danger of teenage girls to the elderly.
"Way to go fruitpop, now Santa wants to rip our eyeballs out with a spoon." Mandi growled.
"He always gets like that, " curly haired boy, no man, said as he entered the room, "So you should not fret about it too much.."
"Sure, that's what they all say, and it true until he turns you into a cabbage and feeds you to his horse" a second one said, this one younger than the first. Though it was impossible to tell by height, only by their faces.
"Ooooh... Ickle Bickle, err...little people." Liz sang, badly. (A/N Nessa: I do NOT sing that badly miss Mel! Unless you've actually heard me...Mel: well Nessa m'dear I fear for my life too much to actually hear you)
"Hobbits, milady." The first proclaimed, "Meriadoc Brandybuck at your service. But please call me Merry."
"And I am Peregrin Took, Pippin if you please." Said the second hobbit.
"Miladies?" said a nervous-looking elf at the doorway, " Lord Elrond requests your presence in his study. If you would please follow me."
**
Well?? There you are! Like it? Hate it? Let us know!!! Please review! We'll try and update soon!
Elves and spoons,
Luthien, Nessa, and Melawen
Disclaimer: We own nothing.....unfortunately! But hey a girl can dream can't she? Everything you see and recognize belongs to JRR Tolkien!
No elves were harmed the making of this fic...
Legolas: Speak for yourself!!
Mel: Leggo-luv shush it!!! Or you WON'T be getting your shirt back!
Legolas: .::whimpers::.
Nes: ::Chuckles manically at the bondage Mel put the poor pointy eared prince through::
**
Chapter One
The three girls were shocked as they flew through the time/space continuum. Sam began to fidget nervously.
"Umm guys, do you remember the bleacher incident..." she said.
"Ya mean the one where Mandi jumped off screaming 'I CAN FLY' and we fell off from laughing so hard?" Liz questioned.
"Yurp, and do you remember what we said about gravity after that?"
"Oh! Oh I know! Pick me! Pick me!" Mandi squealed like a little puppy.
"Ok Mandi, go ahead" Sam said exasperatedly.
"We said we'd never trust gravity again because it's prejudiced against teenage girls." She said promptly.
"Now that that is out of the way. Can I now point out that we are FLOATING! Quick plan B! Plan B!"
The girls then began to flap their hands like the perverted penguins they all wish to be.
**
Suddenly a great brightness enclosed around them and they were in a courtyard full of males, still flapping away. Liz opened her eyes,
"Holy fire on the spam can! We landed in heaven!"
"Normally" Sam began in awe "I'd believe you. But you two in heaven?! Puh- lease!"
"US?!" Mandi exclaimed, "You're the one that got us cursed by those Jehovah's witnesses, AND burnt down the gym last year!"
"I still say there was a vampire in there" she responded stubbornly.
"Guys! Stop bickering amongst yourselves and look around." Liz interjected stopping the would-have-been fight.
"Yes mother" the two responded sarcastically.
"So," interjected a new voice, full of power and wisdom," it looks as if we have some visitors."
The girls turned around and stared at a tall elf, with dark brown hair, dressed in a purple robe (A/N cough*dress*cough)
"Well smack me Sally and call me Bob." Said Mandi, "it's Captain French Fry!"
"How the dickens did we get here? Better yet, why are we here?" Liz pondered aloud.
"Coincidently, I was wondering the same thing." Said the sugar plum fair- err...elf.
"Dude," curly haired teen said in awe, "do ya think he's real?"
"Of course I am re-" the elf lord began, but was cut off by an uncomfortable sensation in his arm.
"Sure feels real to me." Liz declared prodding Elrond in the arm.
Said elf quickly pulled his arm from the brunette and summoned a couple of surly-looking elves.
"Take them to my study so they may be questioned priv-" however, he was interrupted yet again, this time by a deep booming voice.
"It was I who beckoned them here." The beings gathered all turned to look at the old, weathered looking man who had spoken.
"Gandalf, I usually trust your judgments but these are but young girls, how could they be of use."
"HEY!" Sam argued, "I'll have you know, I killed a fly, that's right! A fly, and it was a demon one at that!"
"YEAH," Liz added, "and I talk anyone to death so there!"
"AND..I can make macaroni and cheese without killing myself." Mandi proclaimed.
"I am sure these are admirable traits, where you hail from miladies but they seem to be of little use to middle-earth and its pending fate." Elrond reasoned.
"Never" Mandi said in a deadly whisper, "underestimate the powers of macaroni and cheese, in front of me."
"I foresaw great terror," the wizard broke in "and these young girls, Lord Elrond proved themselves to be worthy of this privilege."
Both of them then turned to the girls to see what they would say to this, but it seemed only Liz was paying any slight attention, as the other two had lost interest in the conversation and were now looking around the circle of beings as if they were searching for a certain someone. Simultaneously, their gazes locked on their prey and before anyone could blink they threw themselves upon the unsuspecting Prince of Mirkwood with shouts of "PRECIOUS!" and "LEGGY-DARLING!"
**
The poor elf in question was too shocked to say anything and soon found himself being petted and squeezed into oblivion. The girls were in complete bliss. That is until the other elves, who had by now overcome their initial shock, started to pull them away from Legolas.
"NO!" cried Sam defiantly, "MINE! He's mine damnit! Back off you rogue! I'll bite you goldilocks, don't tempt me! Lemme go! Let me go! I've waited 17 forking years for this moment! LET ME GO!"
Mandi was making similar threats. Then suddenly, she was struck with an idea so great it felt like she got hit with Sam's fly swatter (A/N heh heh)
"Hey!" she cried, "look a TREE!"
The gathered elves, being the, well...elves they are, stopped pulling the girls and looked at the grand spectacle.
"Suckas!" the mischievous blonde said.
"Lolliepops!? Where!? Where?! I need sugar!" Liz screamed frantically.
"Not lolliepops you blustering noodle! They were fooled by my ingenious plan."
"Umm, Ego much?"
While the two friends bantered back and forth Sam was petting her elf squeaking in middle earthian fan-girl bliss.
"Milady," interjected Legolas, who seemed to have finally regained some of his motor skills, "do you think you could possibly release me?"
"Leggo-my-eggo!" she squeaked, "you're better than all the pop tarts this side of the milky-way!"
"Well, thank you, I think. However I am finding it hard to breathe at the moment."
"Ahh!!!" cried Mandi, "you're hurting the precious!"
"Noooo! I've sinned against all that is fan-girl-dom.
"Dom?! WHERE?!" cried Liz," Dom! DOM! I love you!!!"
"What's a Dom?" a foreign voice asked.
"THE Dom, thank you very much." Liz said haughtily, "and for your information he is...he's...umm...I suddenly don't really remember."
"LIZ!" Mandi yelled in disbelief, " how can you not remember your Dom? He's your...err...well...umm."
"It's as I feared, their memory of their world is rapidly deteriorating. Not all but most. They should remember everything that they held dear, save a few sporadic memories " Gandalf explained solemnly.
"Kilts?" Liz whimpered pitifully, "toast?"
"Orli-luv?" Sam broke down, "Kiwi?"
"Archery?" Mandi cried, "fan-fics?"
"The council will be postponed until we get our new visitors situated." Elrond Half-elven proclaimed.
**
"So basically this is one pissed off possessed ring." Mandi said after Gandalf finished explaining the ordeal of the One Ring to the three girls.
"That is only a part of it, the Dark Lord controls the Ring, and he wants it back so he can rule Middle Earth and bring darkness to all." Mithrandir said exasperatedly, for this was the fourth time he had explained this.
"How can a hunk of metal, a tacky hunk of metal, but a hunk of metal nonetheless be evil?" Sam inquired.
"Well you see..."
"What would've happened if it hadn't been his size?" Liz pondered aloud.
The old man threw up his arms in frustration and stormed from the room muttering about the danger of teenage girls to the elderly.
"Way to go fruitpop, now Santa wants to rip our eyeballs out with a spoon." Mandi growled.
"He always gets like that, " curly haired boy, no man, said as he entered the room, "So you should not fret about it too much.."
"Sure, that's what they all say, and it true until he turns you into a cabbage and feeds you to his horse" a second one said, this one younger than the first. Though it was impossible to tell by height, only by their faces.
"Ooooh... Ickle Bickle, err...little people." Liz sang, badly. (A/N Nessa: I do NOT sing that badly miss Mel! Unless you've actually heard me...Mel: well Nessa m'dear I fear for my life too much to actually hear you)
"Hobbits, milady." The first proclaimed, "Meriadoc Brandybuck at your service. But please call me Merry."
"And I am Peregrin Took, Pippin if you please." Said the second hobbit.
"Miladies?" said a nervous-looking elf at the doorway, " Lord Elrond requests your presence in his study. If you would please follow me."
**
Well?? There you are! Like it? Hate it? Let us know!!! Please review! We'll try and update soon!
Elves and spoons,
Luthien, Nessa, and Melawen