Mel- Eeeek! I'm sorry I'm sorry! I know we haven't updated in awhile and
it's mostly my fault! Hopefully this chapter makes up for it! .::hopeful
grin::.
BIG NEWS: Well to me anyway... I GOT THE CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF LEGOLAS FROM THE MALL! WE OWN THE PRECIOUS!! AND Nessa is warming up to our splenderifrious prince!
Disclaimer: The only thing we own is my wonderful, glorious, knight in shining...cardboard. Ehh you can't have everything I guess.
No elves were harmed in the making of this fic
Leggy cardboard: .::looks sexy while looking at some invisible force::.
Mel: .::sighs::. You know he's a keeper when the elf can look drop dead gorgeous whilst climbing up an Oliphant's arse. .::rubs lip marks off::. How did those get there? ::looks at Luthien and Nessa suspiciously::.
Nessa: Oy love, you know I don't kiss that hunk o paper.. However if you find a slurp mark...
Now we are aware that some of these quotes from the movie aren't exactly in order...sorry it's just the way it goes lol! And just to let you guys know we probably will be following the movie cannon for most things but we will let you know if that changes...carry on
Nessa: much against my will...*cough books are better cough*.. .::Ducks the deluge of moist badgers being pelted at her head::.
Mel: You know I do too! But the movie is easier....and shorter scenes
And without further ado.......doo doo....dooo doooo dooooooooooooooo.. Sorry I'll stop.
** The morning was foggy, a tense silence hung in the air that surrounded the hula-hoop circle. This calculating quiet was broken by the chanting of three young girls.
"We represent the Lollie-pop guild, the Lollie-pop guild, the Lolliepop guild. We represent the Lollie-pop guuuuuuild...err...which nobody can deny!" they sang over, and over again. Waving brightly covered banners made only last night from materials found in Arwen's closet, the three marched into the circle.
The flags portrayed a penguin, in an orange suit brandishing a large lollie- pop, with a lime green bunny on top of his head...The bunny with X's for eyes, complements of Liz.
One man timidly asked, "If you'll pardon my question fair maidens," Sam swooned at this endearment she was a diehard chivalry addict. "Where is this Lollie-pop guild located? For I cannot recall seeing it on any map in my memory."
"Well," Liz explained, "it's located right next to Puff the Magic Dragon's strip joint, and down the road from Little Miss Muffet's Bar and Grille, not that hard to find really. However I wouldn't recommend stopping at that Dragons place. Shady business up there. I swear I found a peg leg in my pasta once.."
"You three. Are late." Lord Elrond said, agitation shining clearly through his voice.
"Fashionably so, dahling" Sam said with a dramatic flip of her hair, "now if you would good sirs, please show my lady friends and me to our seats."
A stunned silence followed this statement. That is until...
"They are but children! My lord, surely they are of no benefit to a matter of this magnitude." One elf protested.
Before the straight-haired blonde pumpkin (A/N: Nessa: Dude..pumpkin..?? Mel: .::shrugs::.) could waltz over to the obnoxious elf and show him just how bad violets really are, Gandalf broke in saying,
"They were summoned here to help with the ordeal. They shall attend this council." To the girls he added, "There are three empty chairs where you may take your seat."
With that said the Prince of Mirkwood finally acknowledged the two empty seats on either side of him. 'Oh Elbereth,' he moaned silently, 'why me?!' The third empty chair was located next to Lord Elrond himself, who was currently glaring daggers at the grinning Itsari. The girls however, couldn't have been more delighted. Liz's eyes suddenly flared with a malevolent glint, her mind gearing into full out torture mode and flounced off to sit next to the horrified elf-lord. Mandi and Sam each gave Gandalf a sly wink before placing themselves next to their princey-poo and permanently latching onto him. Legolas grew pale as Mandi rested her head on his shoulder whilst petting his hair adoringly and Sam started discussing wedding plans.
"I think we should have singing fish at the reception don't you Leggsie- luv?"
"I...err...uhh," the princeling was quite speechless.
"Oh! Ooh!" she yelped, "and we could have those lacey name labeled napkins for all the guests. Oh it'll be splendid my lusty, luscious, leafy lover!"
**
"How do you get that tiara to stay on your head?" Liz questioned, knowing full well the extent of Capn' Leave's anger.
"It is NOT a tiara, it is a royal star!"
"Ooh...then why are your robes all purple and lady-like?"
"The color purple is a sign of honor!"
"Yeah, honorable bosoms," she muttered
"What did you-"
"My lord, I do believe its time to begin," a raven-haired elf said.
Elrond cleared his throat in a dignified manner and motioned for the hullabaloo to cease.
"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old," he began majestically, unfortunately his monologue had been punctuated by the desperate whimpers of a distressed lf.
"You have" -eemph- "been summoned here" -aeeree- "to answer" -meep- "For the love of Eru, would you two please STOP THAT!"
The two blondes stared wide eyed at the pissed elf, whose face nearly matched the shade of his ensemble.
"You know you're sexy when you're angry, the way those nostrils flare." Liz purred, enjoying the Grrness she was inflicting.
Lord Elrond smartly chose to ignore this comment and launched into a speech, which the girls weren't paying any attention to, as they were easily distracted. The blondes with the scrumdiddliuptious elf and the kettle-haired teen with a strange scruffing coming from somewhere to the side, away from the council.
"Bring forth the Ring, Frodo."
The curly haired hobbit reluctantly stepped forward, acutely aware of the brunette whispering "trip trip trip". The entire council stared at the Ring in awed silence until it was harshly broken.
"We should play the name game! Cuz a lot of you ruggedly men look uncannily alike!" Sammie chirped, completely unaware of the respective Moment O' Silence .
"Ooh! Wouldn't that just be a barrel of monkeys!" Mandi squealed in agreement.
"Not with 10,000 men could you do this. It is folly." A blonde man shouted.
"Yeah that would be pretty hard to count 10,000 men...I wonder if I can even count to 10,000..." She said, lost in her own blissful oblivion.
"Uhh hon," Mandi started, "he's talking about slam-dunkin that bad ass hunk of metal in the boiling mountain of...err BADNESS!"
"One does not simply walk into Mordor, there is evil there that does not sleep..." said the blonde who was currently channeling Aragorn's grease factor.
"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed!" Legolas yelled, jumping out of his seat, thus strewing the two girls in an affectionate heap on the stone ground, which caused Mandi to kick the axe out of the hands of the dwarf resting on it, causing him to knock over his comrades. This resulted in a long suppressed snort from Liz, a giggle from the mysterious bushes, and a mortified Mandipie.
"Damn the Dwarven Domino Effect." She said ruefully.
Liz couldn't help but start at the sound of Dom...It seemed so familiar and somehow linked with eyeliner...'Ehh, she thought he was probably some gay guy that worked at the Maybelline counter' (A/N Mel-sorry Nes please don't kill me Nessa- Oh fret not my dear, fret not...at least not at the moment...)
At this point in time the raven-haired elf in charge was adding new shades to the color spectrum.
"Everyone, return to their seats immediately! This is starting to become a mockery, not a serious council! This reckless behavior will stop at once!"
After the reprimanding from the elf in the purple dress everything returned to the anxious atmosphere. Until Mr. I-am-a-really-annoying-man-who-can't- figure-out-when-to-shut-up aka: Boromir said,
"There is no way of getting the Ring into Mordor without it being recaptured."
'This coming from the guy in the purple shirt...oh my God, where are all the MEN!?' Liz thought (A/N: Mel: that would be a FRIENDS quote! Luv that show! Ness: Never seen a whole eppy of it... Oh well...)
"Lord Elrond would not have made a suggestion that was not possible!" Argued the pointy-eared jack-in-the-box, luckily, this time the girls were smart enough to release him before he sprang up.
"If he's this agile now, a girl can only wonder...." Mandi whispered to Sam conspiringly.
Leggy's face started to turn an interesting shade of red at this point. But whether it was from overhearing Mandi's musing or Gimli's comment of "Never trust an elf!" we may never know. The council was once again in a state of pandemonium and our heroines were right in the center of it. Mandi and Sam turned into cheerleaders, chanting "Go Leggy! Oh yea! Go Leggy! Go Go Go Leggsie!" and "You tell'em baby!" Whilst Liz was standing on her chair holding Lord Elrond's tiara above his head, taunting him mercilessly,
"Not so tough are we Mr. Nance 'N' Prance in my daughters purple pants! Ooh common Reach for it fairy boy! Reach!" (A/N Ness- Tempted to 'sit' him eh Luth? Too bad he's not Yasha) Just as she was about to see how good of a frisbee the circlet could be, a voice timidly put in...
"I will take it! I will take it. Though, I do not know the way." This comment was put into the box by the only hobbit in attendance at the gathering; yep you guessed it, Frodo Baggins. Everyone stood stone still in shock, Mandi fell off the chair she was standing on, and Lord Elrond's tiara fell to the ground thanks to the forces of gravity. Gandalf was the first to speak,
"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it's yours to bear. But I shall not be alone, I would like ladies Elizabeth, Amanda, and Samantha to accompany me."
"Gandalf, do you honestly think it wise?" Aragorn asked.
"I do not have any answers anymore, but I know their hearts to be true. They shall accompany us on the journey."
"Then you have my sword." Aragorn decided, rather uncertainly with Mandi and Liz eyeing his weapon.
"And you have my bow!" The blondes squealed ear-piercingly at the thought of traveling with the feminine nancer. (A/N: Mel- I put this out now: NANCING IS SEXY!)
"And my axe."
After this, Senior French-fry tried to send more elves along, however he was overruled. Directly from where Liz heard the rustlage earlier, three curly haired hobbits emerged, running to the council, determined to join too. Elrond protested, but alas, it was not to be
"Nine companions..."
Well there you go! Chapter 3!!! YAY! Sorry It took so long hopefully the other chapters will be soon in coming! Please review and tell us what you did or didn't like!!
In our haste we will thank the reviewers next chappy! Don't worry you are in no way forgotten or underappreciated we love each and everyone of you we are just last teenage girls, savvy? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!
Elves and Spoons,
Luthien, Nessa, and Melawen
BIG NEWS: Well to me anyway... I GOT THE CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF LEGOLAS FROM THE MALL! WE OWN THE PRECIOUS!! AND Nessa is warming up to our splenderifrious prince!
Disclaimer: The only thing we own is my wonderful, glorious, knight in shining...cardboard. Ehh you can't have everything I guess.
No elves were harmed in the making of this fic
Leggy cardboard: .::looks sexy while looking at some invisible force::.
Mel: .::sighs::. You know he's a keeper when the elf can look drop dead gorgeous whilst climbing up an Oliphant's arse. .::rubs lip marks off::. How did those get there? ::looks at Luthien and Nessa suspiciously::.
Nessa: Oy love, you know I don't kiss that hunk o paper.. However if you find a slurp mark...
Now we are aware that some of these quotes from the movie aren't exactly in order...sorry it's just the way it goes lol! And just to let you guys know we probably will be following the movie cannon for most things but we will let you know if that changes...carry on
Nessa: much against my will...*cough books are better cough*.. .::Ducks the deluge of moist badgers being pelted at her head::.
Mel: You know I do too! But the movie is easier....and shorter scenes
And without further ado.......doo doo....dooo doooo dooooooooooooooo.. Sorry I'll stop.
** The morning was foggy, a tense silence hung in the air that surrounded the hula-hoop circle. This calculating quiet was broken by the chanting of three young girls.
"We represent the Lollie-pop guild, the Lollie-pop guild, the Lolliepop guild. We represent the Lollie-pop guuuuuuild...err...which nobody can deny!" they sang over, and over again. Waving brightly covered banners made only last night from materials found in Arwen's closet, the three marched into the circle.
The flags portrayed a penguin, in an orange suit brandishing a large lollie- pop, with a lime green bunny on top of his head...The bunny with X's for eyes, complements of Liz.
One man timidly asked, "If you'll pardon my question fair maidens," Sam swooned at this endearment she was a diehard chivalry addict. "Where is this Lollie-pop guild located? For I cannot recall seeing it on any map in my memory."
"Well," Liz explained, "it's located right next to Puff the Magic Dragon's strip joint, and down the road from Little Miss Muffet's Bar and Grille, not that hard to find really. However I wouldn't recommend stopping at that Dragons place. Shady business up there. I swear I found a peg leg in my pasta once.."
"You three. Are late." Lord Elrond said, agitation shining clearly through his voice.
"Fashionably so, dahling" Sam said with a dramatic flip of her hair, "now if you would good sirs, please show my lady friends and me to our seats."
A stunned silence followed this statement. That is until...
"They are but children! My lord, surely they are of no benefit to a matter of this magnitude." One elf protested.
Before the straight-haired blonde pumpkin (A/N: Nessa: Dude..pumpkin..?? Mel: .::shrugs::.) could waltz over to the obnoxious elf and show him just how bad violets really are, Gandalf broke in saying,
"They were summoned here to help with the ordeal. They shall attend this council." To the girls he added, "There are three empty chairs where you may take your seat."
With that said the Prince of Mirkwood finally acknowledged the two empty seats on either side of him. 'Oh Elbereth,' he moaned silently, 'why me?!' The third empty chair was located next to Lord Elrond himself, who was currently glaring daggers at the grinning Itsari. The girls however, couldn't have been more delighted. Liz's eyes suddenly flared with a malevolent glint, her mind gearing into full out torture mode and flounced off to sit next to the horrified elf-lord. Mandi and Sam each gave Gandalf a sly wink before placing themselves next to their princey-poo and permanently latching onto him. Legolas grew pale as Mandi rested her head on his shoulder whilst petting his hair adoringly and Sam started discussing wedding plans.
"I think we should have singing fish at the reception don't you Leggsie- luv?"
"I...err...uhh," the princeling was quite speechless.
"Oh! Ooh!" she yelped, "and we could have those lacey name labeled napkins for all the guests. Oh it'll be splendid my lusty, luscious, leafy lover!"
**
"How do you get that tiara to stay on your head?" Liz questioned, knowing full well the extent of Capn' Leave's anger.
"It is NOT a tiara, it is a royal star!"
"Ooh...then why are your robes all purple and lady-like?"
"The color purple is a sign of honor!"
"Yeah, honorable bosoms," she muttered
"What did you-"
"My lord, I do believe its time to begin," a raven-haired elf said.
Elrond cleared his throat in a dignified manner and motioned for the hullabaloo to cease.
"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old," he began majestically, unfortunately his monologue had been punctuated by the desperate whimpers of a distressed lf.
"You have" -eemph- "been summoned here" -aeeree- "to answer" -meep- "For the love of Eru, would you two please STOP THAT!"
The two blondes stared wide eyed at the pissed elf, whose face nearly matched the shade of his ensemble.
"You know you're sexy when you're angry, the way those nostrils flare." Liz purred, enjoying the Grrness she was inflicting.
Lord Elrond smartly chose to ignore this comment and launched into a speech, which the girls weren't paying any attention to, as they were easily distracted. The blondes with the scrumdiddliuptious elf and the kettle-haired teen with a strange scruffing coming from somewhere to the side, away from the council.
"Bring forth the Ring, Frodo."
The curly haired hobbit reluctantly stepped forward, acutely aware of the brunette whispering "trip trip trip". The entire council stared at the Ring in awed silence until it was harshly broken.
"We should play the name game! Cuz a lot of you ruggedly men look uncannily alike!" Sammie chirped, completely unaware of the respective Moment O' Silence .
"Ooh! Wouldn't that just be a barrel of monkeys!" Mandi squealed in agreement.
"Not with 10,000 men could you do this. It is folly." A blonde man shouted.
"Yeah that would be pretty hard to count 10,000 men...I wonder if I can even count to 10,000..." She said, lost in her own blissful oblivion.
"Uhh hon," Mandi started, "he's talking about slam-dunkin that bad ass hunk of metal in the boiling mountain of...err BADNESS!"
"One does not simply walk into Mordor, there is evil there that does not sleep..." said the blonde who was currently channeling Aragorn's grease factor.
"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed!" Legolas yelled, jumping out of his seat, thus strewing the two girls in an affectionate heap on the stone ground, which caused Mandi to kick the axe out of the hands of the dwarf resting on it, causing him to knock over his comrades. This resulted in a long suppressed snort from Liz, a giggle from the mysterious bushes, and a mortified Mandipie.
"Damn the Dwarven Domino Effect." She said ruefully.
Liz couldn't help but start at the sound of Dom...It seemed so familiar and somehow linked with eyeliner...'Ehh, she thought he was probably some gay guy that worked at the Maybelline counter' (A/N Mel-sorry Nes please don't kill me Nessa- Oh fret not my dear, fret not...at least not at the moment...)
At this point in time the raven-haired elf in charge was adding new shades to the color spectrum.
"Everyone, return to their seats immediately! This is starting to become a mockery, not a serious council! This reckless behavior will stop at once!"
After the reprimanding from the elf in the purple dress everything returned to the anxious atmosphere. Until Mr. I-am-a-really-annoying-man-who-can't- figure-out-when-to-shut-up aka: Boromir said,
"There is no way of getting the Ring into Mordor without it being recaptured."
'This coming from the guy in the purple shirt...oh my God, where are all the MEN!?' Liz thought (A/N: Mel: that would be a FRIENDS quote! Luv that show! Ness: Never seen a whole eppy of it... Oh well...)
"Lord Elrond would not have made a suggestion that was not possible!" Argued the pointy-eared jack-in-the-box, luckily, this time the girls were smart enough to release him before he sprang up.
"If he's this agile now, a girl can only wonder...." Mandi whispered to Sam conspiringly.
Leggy's face started to turn an interesting shade of red at this point. But whether it was from overhearing Mandi's musing or Gimli's comment of "Never trust an elf!" we may never know. The council was once again in a state of pandemonium and our heroines were right in the center of it. Mandi and Sam turned into cheerleaders, chanting "Go Leggy! Oh yea! Go Leggy! Go Go Go Leggsie!" and "You tell'em baby!" Whilst Liz was standing on her chair holding Lord Elrond's tiara above his head, taunting him mercilessly,
"Not so tough are we Mr. Nance 'N' Prance in my daughters purple pants! Ooh common Reach for it fairy boy! Reach!" (A/N Ness- Tempted to 'sit' him eh Luth? Too bad he's not Yasha) Just as she was about to see how good of a frisbee the circlet could be, a voice timidly put in...
"I will take it! I will take it. Though, I do not know the way." This comment was put into the box by the only hobbit in attendance at the gathering; yep you guessed it, Frodo Baggins. Everyone stood stone still in shock, Mandi fell off the chair she was standing on, and Lord Elrond's tiara fell to the ground thanks to the forces of gravity. Gandalf was the first to speak,
"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it's yours to bear. But I shall not be alone, I would like ladies Elizabeth, Amanda, and Samantha to accompany me."
"Gandalf, do you honestly think it wise?" Aragorn asked.
"I do not have any answers anymore, but I know their hearts to be true. They shall accompany us on the journey."
"Then you have my sword." Aragorn decided, rather uncertainly with Mandi and Liz eyeing his weapon.
"And you have my bow!" The blondes squealed ear-piercingly at the thought of traveling with the feminine nancer. (A/N: Mel- I put this out now: NANCING IS SEXY!)
"And my axe."
After this, Senior French-fry tried to send more elves along, however he was overruled. Directly from where Liz heard the rustlage earlier, three curly haired hobbits emerged, running to the council, determined to join too. Elrond protested, but alas, it was not to be
"Nine companions..."
Well there you go! Chapter 3!!! YAY! Sorry It took so long hopefully the other chapters will be soon in coming! Please review and tell us what you did or didn't like!!
In our haste we will thank the reviewers next chappy! Don't worry you are in no way forgotten or underappreciated we love each and everyone of you we are just last teenage girls, savvy? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!
Elves and Spoons,
Luthien, Nessa, and Melawen