L-chan's notes: So, yay, we finally had a big moment at the end of the last chapter, and a big moment for the story, too. We've gone over 100 reviews now, which to me is just incredible, and I want to give you all big thanks, hugs, and delicious pudding snacks. Oh, and a new chapter, too!

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Shadows

Chapter 9—Hypothetically Speaking

"Hey, 'nii-chan!"

"Plushie!" Touya raised his hand to receive Kero's yellow paw in a quick high-five. He was the only one who could get away with calling the proud sun guardian by such an undignified name. "How's it going, man?"

Kero crossed his little plush arms and shook his head sadly. "I finally finished 'Mega Mauler' last night, and now I don't know what I'm going to do." He sniffed through his funny little stuffed animal's nose. "My life no longer has meaning."

Touya clucked sympathetically before holding up the brown shopping bag in his hand. "Maybe this will make you feel better."

The guardian beast, false form, peeked inside the bag and let out a whoop of joy. "It's 'Mega Mauler II!' You're the best, 'nii-chan!" He spun around dizzily, and his tail wagged even more frenetically than when he was presented with a bounty of Fujitaka's homemade sweets.

If only everyone were so easily pleased, Touya thought as he chuckled at Kero's excitement. "Why don't you go up to Sakura's room and check it out?"

The new video game was forgotten momentarily as Kero's curiosity was piqued. He knew a bribe when he saw one. His big yellow ears twitched, a sign that he was on the alert. "Trying to get rid of me? What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just need to talk to 'tou-san. Is he home?" He should be on a Sunday afternoon. And if Sakura was out with the gaki, then this would be the best time for Touya to get his father's advice on a very tricky matter.

Kero nodded. "In his study." He hovered in the air next to Touya and leaned in close, a very serious look on his round face. Well, as serious as a stuffed animal could look, anyway. "What is it?" he whispered conspiratorially. "Come on, 'nii-chan, you can tell me."

"Did you see what else was in the bag?" Touya pulled the game box out to reveal the treats tucked at the bottom of the sack.

The tail went crazy again, and the ball of fluff at the end of it just looked like a long white blur streaking through the air. "Pudding!" Touya barely had time to put the game back in the bag before Kero grabbed the sack in his paws and took off, zigzagging toward the stairs. "Well, it's been good to see ya. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Touya chuckled again as he continued down the hall to his father's study. He knocked on the door and poked his head inside. "Hard at work?" he asked. He went to peer over the older man's shoulder and shook his head in dismay when he saw what was on the computer screen. "Put the red eight on the black nine."

Unfortunately, Fujitaka hadn't been able to exit out of his solitaire game quickly enough. "So, you caught me. I was just taking a break."

"Uh-huh."

"Honestly. If I had to read one more term paper on the Mesopotamian valley, I was going to crack."

"This is a fine example you're setting for me," Touya chastised, crossing his arms and feigning a look of disappointment. "And you call yourself an educator."

"Oh, barely three months on the job, and you know it all," his father joked back. "Come back in twenty-five years, and then we can talk." He stretched as he stood up from his desk. "Well, the stupid game keeps beating me, so I hope you've come to provide a more worthy distraction."

"You have no idea," Touya muttered as he followed his father into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "Want one?"

"Why not?" They sat down at the table and drank in silence for a few moments. "So, what's wrong?"

His father always was the most perceptive person he knew. "Nothing's wrong. Why should anything be wrong?" An auburn brow arched skeptically at this. Touya sighed and idly swirled the amber liquid in his bottle. "It's not so much that anything's wrong. I've just found myself in a complicated situation, and you are in the unique position of being qualified to give me a little guidance."

Fujitaka's brown eyes blinked behind his glasses before he nodded slowly. "All right. I'm sufficiently intrigued. What is it?" Then he made the mistake of taking a drink as Touya answered.

"How do you date one of your students?"

By some miracle, he managed to swallow without choking, but his eyes did well up as the liquid struggled to go down the correct pipe. "You don't."

"Hypothetically speaking, then."

"Hypothetically speaking, you don't."

Well, what did I expect him to say? "No, I don't guess so," Touya agreed, raking his hand through his brown hair. "I just thought… well, you and 'kaa-san…." He didn't know what he was trying to say. "I mean, you did it, so... it's not impossible, right?"

Touya's sense of humor could be very dry at times, but there was nothing in his tone or his demeanor to suggest that he was joking. "You're serious."

"As a heart attack."

Suddenly beer didn't seem strong enough for this conversation. Fujitaka looked at the framed photograph displayed on the table and silently asked his wife to help him say the right thing. "You know how your mother and I met," he began.

Touya looked at the picture, too, as he nodded. "Bird... tree... angel. I believe I've heard the story once or twice."

"Don't be smart," his father reprimanded, as if Touya were ten instead of twenty-three. "But, yes, that's the short version." He closed his eyes as he remembered that day, which surely couldn't have been that long ago, because it was still so vivid in his mind. "She's always been an angel, whether on earth or in heaven, and I've loved her from the moment she literally fell into my life. That's why, as soon as I was able to summon the courage, I asked her to marry me."

As interesting and touching as that was, it wasn't an answer. Touya's brown eyes glanced back and forth between his mother's picture and his father, trying to assimilate the story with his problem. "So, what you're saying is...?"

"We never dated."

"I see." Touya sighed again. That didn't help him. He wasn't sure if he was in love with Tomoyo, but he definitely knew he wasn't ready to get married, to her or anyone else. "Then what am I supposed to do?" he asked despondently. "I can't just forget about her."

"And if I said you had to?" Not that he had any right to say that, and he knew it. At the time, nothing anyone said could have made him forget about Nadeshiko, even if she was his student, and, therefore, ostensibly beyond his reach.

The younger man shook his head, strands of dark hair falling in his eyes. "I can't," he whispered. Maybe if he hadn't kissed her, or held her.... No. I'd still have to find a way to be with her.

"You could lose your job."

"I know."

Fujitaka remembered everything he'd put Nadeshiko through so that they could be together, but she'd never regretted any of it. She didn't believe in regrets. She believed in happiness, and they were happy, no matter how much she'd had to sacrifice for that happiness. If his son was willing to risk everything he'd spent the past few years working so hard for, then this girl must be very special. "She means that much to you?"

Touya pushed his hair out of his eyes as he contemplated the question. The fact that he was even considering this spoke volumes about his feelings for Tomoyo. "I think she could," he answered quietly. "That's what I need to find out."

Every time Touya lost someone that he loved, he'd crawled a little deeper inside himself. When Nadeshiko died, when Kaho moved to England, when Yukito... well, when whatever happened there happened. Everyone he loved always left, and soon there could come a day when Touya would finally shut himself off from any chance of loving someone and being loved in return. If he'd found someone whom he was willing to open his heart to, someone who could make him happy, then wasn't that the most important thing, more important than propriety or a job? He couldn't just let that pass him by, no matter what the cost.

So there was only one piece of advice Fujitaka could offer his son. "Then be careful."

-----

There was a strange thumping sound at his door, and if Touya hadn't been expecting company, he probably wouldn't have answered. His neighbor's dog had a tendency to scratch at everyone's doors, looking for table scraps, and lately it had gotten out of hand, once the neighbor realized it was cheaper to let his pet beg for leftovers than to go out and actually buy dog food. But this was too loud to be a dog.

When Touya opened the door, Tomoyo's big violet eyes peered at him over a large grocery sack. Her arms were wrapped around the overloaded bag, supporting its weight. "I couldn't reach the bell," she apologized with a little smile.

He took the bag from her, and she shook her arms, trying to get some of the feeling back. "Hungry?" he teased, poking through the sack. There was enough food to feed four people.

"I thought I'd make you dinner," she answered, closing the door behind her as he carried the groceries into the kitchen. She stepped out of her shoes and checked to make sure she hadn't scuffed the toe when she'd kicked the door. "You know, to pay you back for everything."

He stopped putting the food in the refrigerator and turned around to face her. "I never asked you to do that."

"I know. It's just something I want to do." And she'd used the groceries as a distraction, because she didn't know what to say after what happened yesterday. She fought back the blush brought on from simply remembering it. "I thought it might be fun," she added with a little shrug. Like a date.

He thought of something else that might be fun, but he didn't want to come on too strong and scare her. "You're sweet. Thanks." Then she smiled at him again, and he had to stop himself from pulling her into his arms and tasting that smile. There were still some things that they needed to sort out first. He busied himself with the contents of the bag.

Tomoyo remained in the doorway as Touya finished putting everything away. Why does he always have to look so good? she wondered, not that she wasn't enjoying the view. He was wearing a forest green sweater with his favorite faded jeans, and his brown hair was in its usual disobedient state. He looked, in a word, perfect. "So, do I get a lesson today?" I may as well pretend that's why I'm here.

"If you want," he answered. He folded up the empty shopping bag and stashed it in the cupboard. "But I think we should talk."

They were going to have to talk about it, weren't they? "Okay."

"Okay." He didn't move. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Sure, thanks."

Touya took two cans of iced tea from the fridge, and he was about to hand her one, but he stopped. She looked so pretty standing there in her red flowered blouse and denim skirt. Her long hair was loose, spilling down her back like a lavender waterfall. He wasn't going to be able to talk to her until he got this distraction out of the way. Just one little kiss first.

Tomoyo watched as he set the cans on the counter. Then he moved close to her, and she looked up at him, holding her breath and standing very still. She'd seen that look in his dark eyes twice before—once when he'd almost kissed her, and then when he did. When he slowly lowered his head, she went up on her toes, meeting him halfway.

He kissed her gently at first, not desperately like yesterday, taking time to learn the shape of her lips, and she responded in turn. His fingers slid through the silk of her hair before he folded her in his arms, and hers were trapped between them with her hands splayed over his chest. God, she felt good. She was soft, and warm, and his heart raced as she moved her hands to his shoulders and opened her mouth to him.

She decided that she liked kissing, but only with him. There was no way anyone else could do it like he did. And he was holding her, which only made it better. He was so tall and strong, and she felt so safe with him. Her senses were overwhelmed by him—the feel of his broad shoulders beneath her hands, the taste of his lips and his tongue, his clean scent of soap and sunshine, and the husky sound of his voice when he murmured her name.

For one little kiss, it was incredibly arousing, and he reluctantly broke away from her. What was that about not coming on too strong? "Sorry," he said, giving her a sideways glance, and one corner of his mouth lifted in a sheepish smile. "I just really wanted to do that."

"I'm glad," she replied softly.

Touya knew he couldn't stall much longer. They took their drinks and went to the sofa, sitting close together but not actually touching. He'd been distracted enough as it was. Where do I start? He felt like a nervous ten-year-old trying to talk to the cutest girl in school. Which, as far as he was concerned, Tomoyo was. But this was ridiculous. Why should talking about their relationship be harder than, well, being in it, whatever it was? He looked down at the empty can in his hands before raising his eyes to hers. "I can't date you," he finally said.

"Oh." She was confused. Is he saying he can't, or he doesn't want to? If he doesn't want to, then what is all this about?

"We can't... be seen together. Outside of school, that is. It wouldn't look right, you know? And besides, there are rules." Was he even close to explaining this right? He felt like he was just rambling. "So, we have to figure out how this is going to work."

"Oh," she said again.

"Because I want to see you."

Now she understood, and her heart quickened as a slow smile curved her lips. "I want that, too."

He didn't seem to realize that she'd spoken. His brown eyes were fixed on something behind her, but he wasn't really seeing anything as he thought out loud. "I know it's not fair for me to say that, since I can't take you out. But since you're already coming here for your piano lessons, at least we have a legitimate reason to see each other outside of class. I guess we could just do something together here. Maybe we could get pizza and watch videos sometimes. But that might get old after a while. And meanwhile, all of your friends will be going out and having fun, and you'll be missing out. You'll probably want someone who can take you to parties and concerts, but you'll be stuck here with me. I can't really ask you to do that, can I? So, maybe this wouldn't work out after all." He was still rambling. And he didn't know why he was trying to discourage her. I just don't want her to regret choosing me over a more exciting social life. I wasn't interested in those things when I was her age, but that doesn't mean she won't be.

She shook her head emphatically. "I don't care if we can't go out. I just want to be with you."

He finally heard her. "Really?" He brought his gaze back to hers again. "So, I'm not crazy, right? There is something here."

"No, you're not crazy."

"Because this past week, I hated not being able to talk to you. I'd gotten used to you being around."

She tilted her head and gave him a hurt look. "Is that all it is? You'd gotten used to me?"

"Well, yeah. I'd gotten used to your bad jokes and your even worse piano playing," he replied with an almost-straight face. And your laugh. And your perfume.

"And I'd gotten used to your awful tea," she retorted. And your smile. And your warmth.

Touya winced and put a hand over his heart. "Ooh, that hurt."

"Serves you right. If my piano playing is bad, then whose fault is that?" Tomoyo teased.

"Ouch. On second thought, maybe it was better when we weren't talking." This resulted in the stomping of his foot, but he laughed, which made her giggle, too. "Yeah, I definitely missed this," he said softly, once again serious.

"Me, too." Tomoyo was more than glad to put the past week behind them. Now they could move forward, even if that meant their dates could only consist of staying in with pizza and videos. But there had to be someplace else they could go.... "I have an idea," she said suddenly. She got that wicked sparkle in her violet eyes, and he knew her mind was plotting something. "Maybe we can go out after all. I'll have to get Meiling-chan to help us, but I think it might work."

Touya shook his head. "We can't tell anyone. We have to be... discreet." That was the word his father had used. Discreet.

"It's okay. She already knows."

"She does?" Now that he thought about it, it made sense. He remembered the look Meiling gave him at the festival yesterday, and the way she knew that he needed to hear Tomoyo sing. As long as Meiling could be trusted not to tell, which he thought she could be, it might be a good idea to have one person know, someone who could look out for them in public situations.

Tomoyo nodded. "One night, under the truth-inducing influence of an insane amount of sugar, I told her that... I like you."

He knew she did, of course. It was obvious by her actions. And, hell, it was the whole reason they were having this conversation in the first place. But what they'd been feeling had until now gone unsaid. He didn't know that actually hearing her say it out loud would affect him like it did. Once again, he was that unsure ten-year-old, whose heart now swelled upon learning that the cute girl he'd been mooning over liked him, too. Who would have ever thought that I'd feel this way about little Tomoyo? He couldn't stop the huge grin that spread over his face. "You like me, huh?" he teased.

She felt a little embarrassed, for no good reason, and she knew her emotions were clearly spelled out by the heated blush in her cheeks. If she could just come back with a good joke.... But she couldn't. Her mind was only focused on one thing. She knew that she didn't just like him; she was probably falling in love with him. She didn't say anything, but simply looked at him, her feelings shining in her eyes. She watched as his teasing grin disappeared, and he returned her intense gaze for a brief moment before slowly leaning toward her.

"I like you, too," he whispered as his lips found hers.

It would be several long minutes before she remembered her promise to make him dinner.

-----

This is sort of a transitional chapter, so I'm not crazy about it, but there were issues that needed to be brought up. We'll be getting into some fluff for a while now, so look forward to it! As always, thanks for reading, gang!