The Ansatsuken Kid Chapter 6: The Epic Within! Buletta Rushes to the Darkness of Her Heart!, a street fighter fanfic

"This isn't working!"

"...Time."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Buletta was in the middle of channeling the ki mentioned in the Ansatsuken books. Akuma told her to sit down and attempt to focus her energy into her cupped hands. She hadn't pulled ki from her body yet, even after an hour of dull, rigorous meditation.

"Patience. Not even the greatest of men can spare it. It is needed to fully understand the value of the vague, the blurred, and the impossible. With time, comes the will to see the light in the dark; to make clear that which cannot be clear." Secretly, Akuma enjoyed giving Buletta his numbing mind fuck, but his riddles served another purpose.

"There you go again...how can you 'make clear that which cannot be clear?'" She suddenly felt a warmth in her hands, and could almost see a glow. "Hey...I think I got it! I got it, oh wise Sensei, I got it-" Buletta abruptly got sick when she looked at her hands. "What the hell is this?!"

"That is bird shit. You are not finished; sit down." Buletta sat.

"ARGH! But...making clear the unclear? It doesn't make any sense to me."

"...and why not?"

"Well, you can't just understand something that's impossible to understand! Look at a dictionary, find the word 'impossible,' and then you'll see what I mean!"

"...so, on matters pertaining to what you mean, or what you think, or what you feel...you turn to Webster?"

"...um...I turn to the Oxford one?" Buletta started to scratch her head.

"It is clear then that you must discover your own truths. See to it whether your impossibilities are truly unfeasible, or are not."

"Whatever, Aku. It still doesn't make any sense to me."

"The first step."

"Huh? ... Just tell me one more time how I'm supposed to do this!"

"Find your ki by feeling your energy. Feel your energy by navigating to your heart. You can know only the path to your heart with an open mind. There are many routes; know all, walk one."

"...sure." HE'S FUCKIN' NUTS!!! How the hell do I walk a path to my heart?! Is there a fucking interstate in my nervous system?! Oooh, let me imagine this: I'm gonna go find a driver, no, a TRUCK driver DRIVING on the INTERSTATE in my FUCKING nervous system! Hell, in order to attract this TRUCK driver to little ol' ME, I'm gonna take off my clothes, flash that bastard, and give him a good ol' THUMBS UP since that's the international hitchhike sign! Buletta imagined that a truck driver did indeed come to her imaginary interstate. HEY, take me to my heart Mr. Truck Driver! "Wow, you have nice tits!" Oh, thanks Mr. Truck Driver! "Could use a bigger ass though, sorry." HEY, DON'T KICK ME OUT FOR HAVING NO ASS!!! ... OH HELL NO, I DID NOT JUST GET REJECTED IN MY OWN DAYDREAM!!!

"Hmm." Akuma hummed. He noted Buletta cringing harder. "You are troubled. Overcome whatever blocks you! Who ever chooses to interfere, make forfeit of it!"

"Huh?" Buletta decided to re-dream the whole sequence. Oh, thanks for picking me up, Mr. Truck Driver! You sure are handsome and all! "Wow, you're cute and all! Wanna fuck?" Oh, GLADLY Mr. Truck Driver!

"...hmm." Akuma hummed. He noted Buletta drooling and grinning madly. What the fuck?

"Hmm...hee hee HEE." Wow, that sure was some nice sex Mr. Truck Driver! Thanks for the hot steamy sex! "Oh, no problem my lady. Here's your heart. See you!" Wow! Once I let go of my own inner misconceptions about the way my ass looks, I think I've found my way to ... my heart! Er... Yeah.... What the hell do I do now?!

"...hmm." Akuma hummed. He noted Buletta squirming, trying to figure out where to go from there. "Ahem. Turn your energy on by pushing that switch to the right of the generator, and turn on Master Control. Make sure not to leave the terminal unplugged."

"Heh, thanks." Upon reaching her imaginary heart terminal, she did as told and turned on the power to her own life energy. She saw a sparkle of light erupt into bolts of lightning; her ki. I guess...I'm supposed to feel it. ... What the hell? I might get electrocuted or something.

"...hmm." Akuma hummed, annoyed and loud. He noted Buletta squirming once more, trying to decide on what to do. "Touch the fucking ki."

"Okay already!" Buletta touched it, and when she snapped out of her reverie, she discovered that she could pull some ki, albeit a tiny ball of light, out of herself. "WHOA, SUCCESS!!!" Buletta jumped up and tried tossing balls of ki at the horizon, but she couldn't manage more than a few bubbles.

"Sit down, sit down, we're not finished yet." After doing as told, Akuma kneeled closer to her. "Show me...the hand motion you used when you gave me that handjob."

"WHAT?! I'm never doing that to you again, never in a million fucking years, yo-"

"Just show me the hand motion." Akuma interrupted.

"...fine." She did; she pushed her right hand, turned to its side, forward and back.

"That is good. Again, and again, and two more times." Upon her fourth try of the now familiar hand motion, Akuma instantly jabbed his fist in the place Buletta had pushed her hand; but, his fist, as he had expected, froze in place for a split second.

"Whoa! What the hell was that?"

"It is the Ansatsuken parry. When your opponent becomes predictable, just parry that shit. Now, you remember the motion with which you shampooed my hair? You pushed your hands in a peculiar fashion. Jump, and do that motion. Afterwards, again, and again." Buletta did as told by Akuma, until her last jump, when he shouted at her. "Your ki, NOW!" She instinctively shot out her ki in an explosive fireball, as she had learned to do so earlier. The extra adrenaline from the jumping, and the loud shout, helped to trigger her ki's output.

"DAMN!!! I'M HOT!!!" Buletta squealed. However, she soon realized she didn't have time to effectively aim her shot.

"...but you fucking hit me. Don't do that again."

"Uh, right...sensei!" I guess he knows his shit after all!

"...but, in any case, that was the Zankuu Hadouken. Know it well."

"Come on, show me some more!" Buletta laughed, but Akuma groaned.

"Yes, of course..." So the road ahead lies shorter than before... he mused, with a chuckle for a defense mechanism.

THIS IS THE END OF THE FIRST STAGE OF B.B. HOOD'S EXPECTATIONS.

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