The Ansatsuken Kid Your Mama's So Stupid, She Thought Fruit Punch Was Dudley's Gay Porn Name, a street fighter fanfic

Originally posted by Ruby of the Seas
We be the Ghostbusters of Chinatown! A blue lass of a ghost she was, and she was accompanied by that other one who looks like a ticket and goes by the name of Mei-Ling! Fifty thousand in vast seaworthy treasures to the landlubber who finds 'er, alive! Argh! Here's she picture!

attached: hko2.gif

Originally posted by RIDING RED
I SAW HER BE4. IF I SEE HER AGN WHERE SHOULD I SEND HER HEAD

Originally posted by Devi69
You can't read, huh? It says not to kill her in plain English above!

Originally posted by Ruby of the Seas
Aye, she is needed for our operations! If ye didn't know, we operate with the New York City Chinatown Pirates!

Originally posted by RIDING RED
DIDNT THY DUMP TEH GBA ROMS/

Originally posted by Devi69
Well, we don't brag for ourselves you know.

Originally posted by Ruby of the Seas
Aye, we're pioneering Gamecube emulation as well, har har har!

Originally posted by RIDING RED
THEN ILL CATCH UP WIT U LATR BTW: "GHOSTBUSTERS" WHY RIP OFF THE MOVIE LIKE THAT? YOUR SO GHEY.

Originally posted by Ruby of the Seas
ARGH, ye disrespect us like that?! You should know that the honorable pirates around the world are well aware of copyright laws, and that we respect them as so the intricate rules state, ye landlubber!

Originally posted by RIDING RED
BULLSHIT! YOU JUST COULDN'T COME UP WITH A BETTER NAME!

Originally posted by Devi69
Listen kid, maybe you couldn't understand a word we said because you're too busy playing with your Caps Lock key. You're too retarded for this bounty head. Next!

Originally posted by Jesus Christ
^^^RED got pwned.

Originally posted by RIDING RED
WTF THIS ISNT ENGLISH CLASS FUK U 8|7C|-|

Originally posted by Devi69
c|_|/\/7br3a7h!!!

Originally posted by Ruby of the Seas
Aye, the breath of this lass known as RED stinks of cunt.

Originally posted by RIDING RED
STFU.

Originally posted by The Damned
You bitches are banned. Be gone.

Some years ago, a pair of living Chinese ghosts, two sisters when they weren't deceased, made little money by haunting any particular residence. After their removal by a pair of entrepreneur pirate "ghostbusters" who found much profitability in the gimmick from the classic film, the twins Hsien-ko and Mei-Ling would be released to haunt another home until their employers were called upon to exorcise them. The ghostbusters in question, going by the names Ruby Heart and Devilot, used a simple device resembling a treasure chest to capture, and release, spirits. Tired of their low wages and demeaning stature in life, the ghosts, known as Hsien-ko and Mei-Ling, one with the appearance of a blue girl, the other of a yellow tag, left without prior notice. The ghostbuster pirates were outraged upon this discovery, and hastily put their faces on bounty hunter bulletin boards on the Internet. One month ago, a conversation on the forum in question was had.

RIDING RED, better known to the reader as Baby Bonnie "Buletta" Hood, kept the Hsien-ko bounty on the back of her mind, but didn't put her as a high priority target. The notion, however, of making this "Devi69" look like an ass all over an Internet forum would be well worth that hunt, however. But, no; Buletta was after a warrior of a high caliber, and with a bounty of priceless value, offered by a man of limitless power; Akuma, being the warrior of high caliber. This left Hsien-ko and Mei-Ling some time to hide themselves in a traveling road show, which gave them the credentials to find an honest, fine paying occupation in the field of flashy marine biology. While dolphins were beautiful creatures to behold, the process of preparing fish for these animals at aquariums, amusement parks, and laboratories. Soon after, they found a window of opportunity for their talents at Six Flags Gouki's, a new theme park built on an abandoned island.

This is where their history ends, and our episode begins.

Who was that girl whom my pupil placed her eyes on? No doubt an enemy from her past, or a bounty head like I was. Akuma reflected while cautiously sliding away from the battle between Buletta and Your Mama.

"Where the hell are you going?!" Buletta snaped back toward Akuma, who was sitting in the vacant stands across of the tank in the center of the abandoned dolphin show. "You know something about her, otherwise you wouldn't know her name!"

"Who doesn't know about Your Mama? She is well known. Everyone knows Your Mama." Akuma replied.

"Well known? I didn't recognize her!" Buletta said, throwing a fit.

"It is because her face is covered, obscuring her identity... I have heard the stories, reporting that Your Mama was so ugly, Dr. Doom gave her his mask." Akuma solemnly stated.

"Whatever, she's got a giant burning rock and she's gonna crash down on me any second. At least throw me a PROJECTILE ASSIST or something!" Your Mama's large shadow was growing larger, and Buletta's time was wearing thin.

"...just one." Akuma shot a Hadouken at Your Mama, stunning her for a minute due to the massive wave of her fat jiggling across her body, leaving her in a vulnerable sprite animation for roughly fifteen seconds.

"Thank'ee. Now, I'll just cancel that into..." Buletta leaped into the air and eclipsed the sun with an impromptu super attack. Calling forth her old cohorts Smith and Wesson from an inter-dimensional void, they simultaneously bombarded Your Mama with a diagonal barrage of massive missile, rocket, and bullet shaped ki projectiles. "ZANKOOL HUNTING!!!"

"ARRRR!!!" Your Mama fell, defeated, leaving her giant rock left over from her botched Gamma Crush in the ground. Buletta had a sudden realization, and took out a Palm Pilot.

"...So her name's Your Mama. She has a bounty, but a cheap one. $5.39. Dammit!" Buletta started to cry and, in frustration, began pounding Your Mama's belly. "Boo!!! I might as well redeem her for an Extra Value Meal! Aku, what should I...do?" Akuma was nowhere to be seen, for he had left right after shooting his solitary Hadouken. Instead of watching the quick fight, he descended underneath the stands and stood in a dark corridor, surrounded by glass walls where he could gaze at marine animals. It was here that he found Hsien-ko and her sister attached to her hat, the dolphin trainers from before.

"You. How do you know the blonde girl?" Asked Akuma. Her back was turned, and she could barely hear him over her own unknown work in the dark. Akuma heard the sizzle of a skillet, and sensed the smell of chicken fried rice. Dolphins do not eat a food of this scent. No doubt this diligent ghost is honing her skills as a kitchen warrior.

"Could you say that again? I couldn't hear you over the RICE." Hsien-ko squeezed a bit of soy sauce into her skillet and began to stir, with a quick clockwise motion of her hand, her concoction. Akuma gasped at the mention of the word rice.

"RICE? The true diet of a warrior."

"Yup. Rice. Chicken fried, soy sauce, and onions!" She turned around, and revealed that she had changed into a chef's outfit, complete with the hat.

She has the ability to cook rice; her will is strong. If only my time left wasn't such a matter of fate's charity, I would challenge her and seek to improve my own skills in rice. But it would be a waste; after I am gone, the strongest must remain to honor -the fight.- Akuma gazed into his own fist, looking for more answers.

"Mr., are you from the zombie attraction? Your make-up looks like the genuine thing." Hsien-ko asked.

"Shut the fuck up." In between the words 'fuck' and 'up,' Akuma felt the power of Your Mama rise to double her previous strength. Either Buletta doesn't know yet, or it's too late. This second form of Your Mama has reawakened! I must teach THIS girl the technique now. "Chef. I am a man who is desperate."

"You are? I can relate. I'm sorry. But why are you telling me this now?"

"Please copy the motions of my hands. It is completely dark in this corridor; thus, you must see my movements with your will. Hand me a chicken breast."

"Um, sure?" Confused, Hsien-ko handed Akuma a chicken breast.

"As a practitioner of the culinary arts, you will greatly appreciate this. It is the Raging Demon, and can, if applied correctly, cook a slab of beef within a minute; a small breast like this will be prepared in merely seconds. But remember...you must never teach this technique to anyone; but you may always show it to them." With that, Akuma grabbed the meat and performed the move, completely obscured in darkness. "Do you now know this technique?"

"...I can see what you did. I don't know why you thought I would have any trouble seeing it. I saw it, light as day! I'm going to try it on some Lo Mein now! But you taught me just by showing it. If I do it, and someone watches, won't I have taught it?"

"Not if they do not learn. But there is no time for that. Hurry! On the surface of daylight, a villain awaits."

***