The Ansatsuken Kid Chapter 16: Something as Mere as the Brink of Life, a street fighter fanfic

Ash Crimson seductively licked on his pristine fingernails, fancying the aftertaste of the polish as tasty and salty. But he was getting impatient with frugal Rugal, who was at the Albatross's strategy room with Adolf. Rugal was debating silently whether or not he should accept the French metrosexual's assistance. Rugal sat in a small throne, his hand firmly placed on his chin.

"Hey. What do you have to lose anyway?"

Well...I do need that Satsui no Hadou. ... But...he's just so gay.

"The French...are they stronger than Aryans too?" Hitler wondered out loud. But Rugal was still in meditation.

"So this is the Albatross?" Ash shut his eyes, grinning to himself a little bit and even hummed. He slipped an envelope out of his pocket in between his index and middle fingers, and tapped his shoulder with it. "I forgot to mention, I saw your kid the other day. What's his name, Adelheid? He's got a new airship too! It's either called Sky Noah or Air Jordan."

...I wonder...Adelheid told me he's been watching that Queer Eye show for a while now...maybe he and this guy are...oh, hell the fuck no...

"You know, I think this decision of yours would be a lot easier to make if you knew what was in this little envelope." Ash sauntered over to Rugal's side, and hovered over his left arm. He waved the envelope in front of Rugal's eyes. "I also forgot to mention, I picked this up from Chizuru a while ago too." Ash let the envelope slip out of his fingers and drop onto Rugal's lap. "It's the secret location of the Top Tiers Headquarters!"

"!" Rugal leaped up, his jaw dropped, panting in shock. "The Top Tiers HQ! Not even after hours of torture would Cable or Sentinel divulge it's location!"

"Torture? What'd you do to them?" Ash asked.

"Bukkake."

"Damn. That's just gay."

"You're one to talk, Crimson! But I think I'll go along with your little plan, this time around."

Ash turned around, his back towards Rugal, and walked towards a window where he could see the sun burn the clouds. He liked this view. "Everyone goes along with the plan," Ash muttered under his breath to himself.

After Millionaire Fighting, Sagat left an idealogical organization called Top Tiers in order to right the wrongs of the world...to appease his soul. But the harder he tried to do good, the more he could not forgive the follies in his life. Sagat eloquently articulated his journey to Duck King over a bottle of Sierra Mist©. Duck was sitting in a comfortable-but-old-looking couch in the back of the record store, while BET's 106 & Park contributed to the light din in the background. No one came often to this store, so Duck King had nothing to lose by listening to Sagat's story.

"I feel for ya, man." Duck King leaned over to open a small refrigerator beside his seat, nearly buried under a pile of XXLs and Maxims. "What're you planning on doing now?"

"I want to find a way to move on...but the path I took is a path of penance. Each good, or generous act I commit, I do only because of my sins at Shadaloo...and even later, at Top Tiers. I broke, no, I crucified a game. Each time I repent, I am simply reminded of my evil."

"So...you lived as a wandering hermit? After Southtown got beasted, we almost all did. I moved to Metro City because it was like Southtown's sister, from what I heard at least. Me and King..."

"King? The muay thai Marcy Darcy? I heard she jacked my low and high fireballs this year."

"Yeah, her. Me and King, we had this cafe once. But after that, you know, I tried owning another business...this one. Something like owning your own shop, it's sobering. I guess the only other thing like it is raising a family. And after what happen to Southtown four years ago...you'd retire from the fighting game pretty quick too. But you, you gave up because you didn't want to hurt people anymore. And you're still beating yourself up today for dumb shit you did when you were younger and stupider!"

"...perhaps I deserved this." Sagat lowered his head, clasping his hands together as if in prayer. "To be chased by the past."

"I dunno how much this is worth to you...but you really shocked me, Sag. I had you all wrong. 'The mountain hurts.'"

"I should say the same thing of you. I wouldn't have guessed that a two-bit Eddy Gordo wannabe could be so perceptive." Sagat chuckled lightly.

"HEY! Eddy came after me! He was biting on MY shit! Anyway, maybe the problem here is, you keep wandering. Always trying to do good to everybody. What you need is to find yourself...so why don't you settle down finally? Hell, settle down here! Go find yourself some friends, get in touch with your family, start a career! Sagat, you're a guy looking to handle your shit, but you gotta have shit to handle first! So, start that shit! You were always traveling, always trying to handle other people's agendas, because you didn't have one of your own!"

"...I like the sound of that plan." Sagat raised his head.

Outside, a young fighter reached into a trash can and pulled out a crumpled up sheet of paper. Yun pulled his hand out of it and read it aloud.

"'TOP TIERS REGISTRATION FORM F-107B: SAGAT.' He threw this out." Yun looked at his newly assigned partner, and nodded his head. "He is definitely in Metro City."

"Finally. How long have you been tracking him down?" Spider-Man poised the question since he was just assigned by Top Tiers to aid Yun in finding the rogue member Sagat. The higher-ups really needed to find the man with the crouching fierce now that the organization itself was threatened by one Rugal Bernstein.

"About three months. ... What game were you top tier in? Because you get tore up in MvC2."

"What, you never played MSH? N00b scrub. By the way, you get beasted by Sakura and Bison in CvS2."

"That's because they're not in 3S. See, I own 3S..."

"I also hear that Ken and Chun double penetrate you in 3S." Spidey razzed on.

"Well fuck them!" Yun snapped back. "And don't you even try to mention Makoto..." Yun turned his ducky hat backwards and looked at his reflection in a record shop window. "Hey, does this look good this way, or the other way?"

"I dunno. A backwards cap just screams 'white boy.'" Spidey looked through the window and spotted their target, Sagat, in plain sight. "Hey, I've been assigned to this for like, a day right? And you spent months trying to find him?"

"Yeah...what's your point?"

"There's Sagat right there."

Yun picked his head up and saw Sagat's unmistakable bulk and shiny dome through the window.

"Oh...shit..."

"From now on, you lost the privilege to say anymore 'HOW DO I SHOT WEB' jokes."

Akuma sat on a cloud, his mind blank after intense meditation. In the depths of nothingness, he felt a claw linger on his shoulder. Akuma left the feeling alone, unhindered, but gradually, his soul was engulfed in a stinging sensation; he felt as if he was being dragged. Akuma finally turned around, opening his eyes, and saw that the heaven he had once been in was replaced by a dark-tinged world of smoke.

"What?! Have I been sent to Hell?!"

"No, Akuma...you are being dragged back into the world of the living." A voice echoed in the air, and was soon joined by a chorus of voices. "We are Capcom! We cannot kill you off, Akuma! You mustn't die!"

"How dare you...was I not created to die?! Have I not begun to reach an end?! Did I not feel life fade away from my bones?!"

"If you die...then we must resort to creating...EVIL AKUMA. And we don't want to do that!"

"Evil Akuma?! You guys are ridiculous!"

"Or worse yet, we'll have to give you a son! His name will be Shinji, and he'll be half white with long blonde hair!"

"I've heard enough. Fine. I'm going back." Akuma grunted, and felt himself free dive out of nonexistence.

"But alas! Your body has gone missing! We'll have to give you a temporary vessel to use before you can become whole again!"

"WHAT?!"

"One of these nights...one of these crazy old nights...we're gonna find out, pretty mama...what turns on, at night..."

An old Eagles track, a soulful tune that utilizes its instruments in such a way that they sound melancholy, flowed from an alarm clock radio. Akuma leaped from a heart-shaped bed, after the soft warmth of the velvet blanket surprised him. He began panting, and wandered around the motel room in a daze. The shower in the bathroom was on, and Akuma could hear the hot water sizzle on the ground. He found a mirror in the corner; Akuma was no longer who he used to be. In fact, he ceased being, a he. He was now in a very feminine body, and Akuma hugged her round-yet-petit breasts in shock. Her face was very similar to her former one, but she seemed to be wearing less this time. A thin little scrap of tattered gi covered her chest, and she seemed to be wearing leg warmers from Flashdance. In fact, this girl resembled the original Akuma well...if he had been Midnight Blissed.

"Who the hell are you?" Demitri, the eternally sexed vampire, walked out of the shower, feeling refreshed. "...doesn't matter. Get in the bed; my meter's full."

Adolf Hitler's hand started to throb, and he spilt his cup of tea on the carpet. The clamor of the cup's spoon resonated eerily in the Albatross's control room, and Rugal turned to the Fuhrer.

"What was that?"

"Just an old dictator trembling." Ash cupped a small amount of baby powder into the palms of his hands and rubbed it caressingly onto his face. "Looks like he's imploding, too."

"AGH!..." Adolf's face began to contort inwards, and soon after, he imploded...and a surge of thick red goo emerged from the carcass. The symbiote had emerged from Hitler's body, and it began to take on an anthromorphic form.

"What the fuck?! Who the hell are you and what did you do to Hitler?!"

"What, you never played MvC, Rugal? That's Red Venom...an agent from Top Tiers!" Ash took out a pair of cucumber slices and placed them on his eyes. Undaunted, he found a couch to lie on and stretched his feet out. "Handle your shit while I catch a little shut eye, okay?"

"DIE...FUCK BESERKER!!!" Red Venom started rushing at Rugal, who was feeling more discouraged than anything else.

"I'm surrounded by red freaks," he said to himself.