"Sirius, it's five AM. What do you want?" Remus asked, his vision blurry as he glanced at his alarm clock.

"He thinks he has SARS," Peter put in.

James knocked him on the head. "That isn't funny! There are roughly twelve SARS-related deaths every day in Canada, and many more in Asia! Think before you speak, mortal!"

Vaguely sure that James made up his statistics, Remus decided to move on. "Ok, but so anyway, what are you guys doing?"

"Well," Sirius began, "I was out on the beach...uh...looking at the...uh...stars..."

"The stars? Do you even know what a star is?" James asked derisively.

Sirius started flexing his muscles threateningly at James, trying to conceal his trembling lower lip.

"Go on, Sirius," Remus said soothingly, stroking Sirius's arm.

"Nancyboy," Sirius muttered, "But anyway, these foam beach rafts washed ashore. Let's go play with them!"

"Yay!" interjected Peter.

"You woke me up at five in the morning to play with rafts?" Remus asked, "And you called me a Nancyboy?"

"Um, yeah, and you are a boy, Nancy."

"Uh, why don't you guys go on without me?" Remus asked, laying back down.

"Nancy" Sirius muttered again before the three boys walked out.

Remus had almost fallen asleep when loud, high-pitched screams broke his peaceful rest.

Remus was confused; how had they managed to hurt themselves with foam rafts? He was almost to the door when his parents burst out of their room.

"What's all this, then?" Mr. Lupin asked, trying to conceal his New Kids on the Block boxers.

Mrs. Lupin moved to the window. "Oh, the other boys are out playing! Good, I was worried those agonized screams were screams of pain. They must just be having a good time! That's cute."

"Um, Mum, I don't think they're having a good time..." Remus said as he looked out to see Sirius flailing wildly on the rocks, as James yelled "Bloody Murder!" and Peter was being dragged further out to sea.

"Be quiet, of course they are," Mrs. Lupin said dismissively, heading back to her room, husband in tow.

Yeah, Remus thought, And all that red stuff is "fun juice".

A/N: New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick. Anyway, we don't have anything new or original to say. Bang.