Ahaha, I somehow have the feeling I wasn't quite as wrong when I talked about 15 chapters – in fact, it might even become more now – I can't stop... my hands won't come off the keyboard... argh!

Might take a day or two off after this – after all, we don't want to be through with this too fast, do we?

I just found a very nice picture of Youkai Hakkai on DeviantArt – me be happy now :grows kitty ears and starts purring:

Something else I'm hunting right now: WAV-Soundbites, like Sanzo's "Urusai!" and Hakkai's "Yare Yare"... if any of you know where to find stuff like that, let me know!

05.04.2005: Answers to reviews removed. See chapter 3 for reason.

DISCLAIMER: Yup, not mine. Nope, don't sue. If you want to sue me for something, sue me for loving to drool over certain animated guys – thank the Gods my husband isn't holding it against me...

CHAPTER 6

After he had left the inn, a twinge of hunger made Kouryuu regret all the more that he had not asked any of the others for some money for a snack.

'Ch, not that I would have asked them in the first place – who am I to take money from them?'

Dirt poor, that was what he was.

'Must not wallow in self-pity again - Pull yourself together...'

He lit a cigarette as a substitute, and this time, the nicotine worked in the way he had desired. He blew the smoke out of his nostrils and continued walking along the main street of the little town, deep in thought.

He had to admit that Hakkai had been right about him – he had been one selfish son-of-a-bitch.

'They have all had their share of problems in the past – and there I come along and pretty much tell Hakkai that I suffer the most of them all. Hn, if I think about it that way, he was also right with the 'biggest bullshit ever' bit...'

Eventually, he realized that, once he got back, an apology was in order – and he was not sure how to go about it.

'I never apologized to anybody!', his old temper flared up, only to be beaten into submission by another part of him – one he did not recognize immediately.

'You also never managed to make Hakkai call you names, jackass, so stop playing the ever high-and-mighty bigshot and do it!'

He chuckled softly to himself. Did turning youkai actually come with a built-in conscience? Considering Hakkai an example, it almost seemed that way.

'Hakkai... I guess I really found the soft spot and pounded away on it there – I gotta learn to hold my horses...'

There, another novelty – Genjo Sanzo had never tried to behave himself for the sake of a friend...

'Friends? I have friends? I doubt the others actually consider me one – I hit them with that stupid fan, I even fired my gun at them. Hell, I myself wouldn't want to be my friend...'

A smile lit up his face for a moment when he came to an astounding conclusion:

'Gods, I have been one big asshole all the time – I guess I thought it belonged to the Sanzo act. I never thought... that I could feel so free without my title.'

That had been what Hakkai had been trying to tell him, and if he hadn't held on to his disgusting bout of self-pity, he would have realized it far sooner: Being a nobody made you free. Free to do whatever you wanted. Free to feel about things however you wanted.

Not having to worry that someone would get hurt if you cared too much for them by those who opposed you...

Astonished, gazing at his limiters, those chains who had freed him, he muttered under his breath, "I always thought I was the only free person, and the people around me were being forced along in their lives – and it was the other way around all along..."

He decided to try heeding his own advice – and Hakkai's – as best as he possibly could, and let go of the past, all the things that had weighed him down and made him miserable.

'Let's see how well your resolutions stand up to the next rainy night, old boy', his old sardonic self tried to make a comeback.

"I will handle it... as well as I can", he answered softly, and threw the remains of his cigarette away.

Had he made peace with himself? Far from it, but a truce was better than nothing.

He wondered, however, whether that was all the brunette youkai had been implying when he had talked about 'opening up to one's friends'...

He had no time to ponder on it anymore, for at this very moment, a loud crashing sound reached his ears and he turned around to see what had happened. What he saw was a column of black smoke, rising up from...

'The inn!'

Were they under attack? And what had happened to the others?

"Fuck!", Kouryuu cursed and fell into a run back down the street.

Since he had left Kouryuu, Hakkai had been standing at the window of his own room. The blond man truly had managed to enrage him beyond words. Thankfully, Goku and Gojyo seemed to have gotten the hint and stayed away from him.

'Better for them, anyway', he thought sourly. 'I'm in the best mood for pulling a Sanzo – Ki-Blast to everyone who enters here...'

Since his renaming, he had never advocated violence – in fact, he preferred to find other ways of communication, if at all possible. There was too much blood on his hands already...

'And then this self-centered bastard comes along and whines about losing his title – he can be happy I didn't lose it right then and there and punched him into the middle of next week...'

He did not usually hold grudges, but in this case, he just might make an exception.

There, he had been truly sorry for him when Kouryuu had turned youkai, had wished for a way to somehow help him, for of all his companions, he was the one who understood him best... when the blond had overreacted, he had found him, healed him, poured all his Ki into him to make him survive... he had stayed at his bedside for days on end, sleeping on a chair, and only for a couple of hours tops at a time... and then this... this IDIOT... had the gall to come along and claim that his pain, his suffering was more important? That the loss of his rank entitled him to grieve more than Hakkai for Kanan?

Hakkai had always thought that, somewhere deep down, Sanzo – Kouryuu - had a heart. Now, he wondered whether he had been wrong about it all the time.

Wearily, he stretched, thinking, 'Might as well go to bed and get some decent sleep again for a change. Maybe tomorrow, I will be able to forgive him...'

He turned around to his bed, made a step towards it...

... and the bomb on the ground floor exploded, sending him flying into darkness.

Hehe, when you read the first part of this chapter, I bet you thought that I would go for "All's right with the world" now, huh? No such luck – angsting is sooo much fun!

And don't worry, Sanzo's not gonna become the High Priest of the "Happy Happy Joy Joy"-Cult overnight – on the contrary, green light for Awkwardness GALORE! Aaaah, I LOVE being evil to the poor guys!