Disclaimer: Luckily I own nothing but Trillian. Rei and all her snappy dialogue belong to C.L. Curtis (who rocks, by the way).
Dedication: C.L. Curtis, my best freend Mel (fer being so patient with me), and Johnny Depp (for being sexy). But I don't actually know Johnny Depp, but hey, it's worth a try, I think.
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Twenty minutes, a slow Internet connection, and a few choice words later, Trillian waited for the printer to spit out the recipe for his pork. She hummed happily, walking to the kitchen and placing it on the counter.
She pulled all the ingredients out and put them on the counter before reading the recipe over for the first time. Apparently it would take about ten hours to cook, time she didn't have. She sighed, then headed back to where Sands lay.
"Sands?" She said, then realized that she was getting sick of calling him that. He lifted his head slightly, then lay it back down.
"Mm?" He said, then coughed. Trillian frowned with...pity? She pitied him now...
"Uh...it takes a long time for the pork to cook." She said, clearing her throat nervously. Why was she nervous? The truth was, she didn't know. She knew that this guy had been through hell and back in only about a day.
"But...whenever you get it at some tortilla RIA, it's out in like...half an hour." Sands protested in his defense.
"Well, they have the pork pre-simmered, I'm sure. I mean, heat lamps, you know?"
"But..." Sands began again, lifting his head fully. He began coughing again, and Trillian shushed him.
"Listen. Lie down, get rest. You need it." Trillian said, moving the couch cushion aside. Then a thought struck her, making her feel stupid for not thinking of it before.
"Do you need to call someone? Anyone at all?" She asked lightly.
"No..." Sands said slowly, shaking his head. "Wait. Yes." He said, seeming suddenly alert.
Trillian nodded. "Okay. I'll go get the phone."
------
The phone call was a difficult one, mostly because Sands forgot that he couldn't dial until he had the phone in his hand.
Trillian helped him dial, then left him alone to talk.
Eavesdropping was not usually something she did. She wasn't nosy...but something made her want to hear this. She picked up the phone in the bedroom quietly, and heard it ring on the other end.
Then, a voice. A woman's voice, in a clipped English accent. Trillian's blood ran cold.
"Aurelia Sands. Make it quick."
Trillian's mouth fell open, mostly out of shock.
"Rei?" Sands' painful rasp cut through the silence.
"Oh. You." Rei's already cool demeanor turned icy.
"Thanks for sounding so enthusiastic. Love you too. What did I do?"
"Do the words 'ballet recital' mean anything to you, luv? As in, the one you promised my daughter you'd be in attendance of last night?"
"Shit, that was last night?" Sands said, and Trillian could just see him smacking his forehead.
"Mm-hmm. Yeah. Lina was absolutely crushed. How could you possibly forget, Sheldon?" She put a sarcastic emphasis on the word 'Sheldon'.
"Don't, Rei, don't call me Sheldon." Sands snapped, obviously annoyed. Trillian bit her tongue to keep from snickering. Sheldon? That was a banker name. Or a turtle. Not the kind of CIA badass you found in an alleyway with no eyes and eight rounds of ammo buried in his flesh.
"I'll call you whatever the hell I want, Jeffrey."
Trillian furrowed her eyebrows. Jeffrey? Like, giraffe, Jeffrey? What was this guy's NAME, anyway? Sheldon, Jeffrey, or Sands? She shook it off and waited for his reply, which came quickly after.
"Alright, uber-bitch, you wanna know why I wasn't at Lina's recital? I was busy getting my eyes chopped out of their sockets by some psycho cartel leader." He snarled into the mouthpiece.
There was silence on the other end of the line, before Rei found her voice.
"The hell? Oh my God..." She swallowed, and Trillian could sense her change tones completely. "Where are you?"
There was a pause.
"Uh..." Sands began, then shouted down the hall. "Trillian!"
Trillian panicked and heard "Who the hell is--", before she hung up the phone quietly.
"Yeah?" She called, an unfamiliar feeling of dread seeping into her stomach.
"Where am I?" Sands called out.
"Uh..." Trillian began, pausing. "Durango." She called back.
"What?!? You took me all the fucking way to DURANGO?" He shouted, disbelieving. Then he started coughing again, and Trillian took the opportunity to dodge back into the bedroom and pick up the phone.
The woman on the other line was still raging.
"You're with a WOMAN!?!? Just a minute, sweetie...I'll get you your ice cream..." Trillian heard the tinny voice of a little girl in the background.
"Where's Daddy?"
"He's not here right now, Lina. Right now I need you to be a good girl and let Mummy have a very important talk on her phone..."
Trillian gagged. Oh God...they have a kid! I've been having...oh GOD! Her eyes were wide with...what was it? Jealousy? She didn't know what to think. Sands was married. To the Ice-Queen, from what it sounded, although she was sure they were compatible...And they had a child. She almost kicked him out right there. But...what had she expected? She hadn't seen a ring, but he was most likely deep undercover...He was married.
"Will you stop farting around with Catalina, please? I have no...fucking...eyes! I'm in another country, in some stranger's house. I need you down here, NOW."
"Ah, moral support, honey? Sorry, I didn't mean that." Aurelia said, sounding truly apologetic. "Look, I'll get there ASAP, I promise. Just...hang in there, okay?"
"Fuck you." Sands said shortly, hanging up.
"Wait--I need directions!" Rei said, and Trillian jumped in.
"Uh...hello?" She said uncertainly, hoping that the woman didn't realize she was listening in. "This is AFN Agent Trillian Montgomery."
"Agent Aurelia Sands, CIA. Charmed, Mrs. Montgomery."
"Oh, uh...It's Miss, actually." Trillian said uncomfortably.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Not thinking too clearly right at the moment...I've just received quite a shock, actually--Lina, put that down!"
Trillian raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, yes. You need directions to the house, I imagine, you know, to get Sands--" She stopped, not sure if using the name 'Sands' worked at the moment. Well, it belonged to both of them, didn't it?
"Well, unless I'm planning on asking every bloody person on the way from Austin to Durango--"
Sarcastic much? Trillian wondered, a cynical look finding its way across her face.
"I...I suppose not." She stammered, then told her the address. Apparently Rei had paper handy, because she kept 'mmm-hmming' every few lines. Trillian saw something move out of the corner of her eye, and turned abruptly to look. Sands was stumbling down the hall, using his hands for guidance. When Trillian had given Rei all the directions, she hung up and stood to assist him.
She turned into the hall to see Sands smash into a side table, sending it's contents crashing to the floor.
"Oops." Sands uttered, before moving on, careful not to trip over anything.
"Rei seems nice." Trillian commented, although it was the farthest thought from her mind.
"Pfft." Sands said, although his expression softened considerably as he hobbled along. "Yeah, contrary to popular belief, I love her more than I let on." He said, and Trillian's heart sunk into her toes.
"That's...great." She said, as Sands crashed into a door.
"Do you need help?" She asked for what seemed like the millionth time.
"Only until I get there." Sands said, grimacing.
"Get where?" Trillian asked, confused.
"The john." Sands said bluntly.
"Oh." Trillian said, suppressing a laugh.
-----
Review time! Mwahahaha...!
Dedication: C.L. Curtis, my best freend Mel (fer being so patient with me), and Johnny Depp (for being sexy). But I don't actually know Johnny Depp, but hey, it's worth a try, I think.
-----
Twenty minutes, a slow Internet connection, and a few choice words later, Trillian waited for the printer to spit out the recipe for his pork. She hummed happily, walking to the kitchen and placing it on the counter.
She pulled all the ingredients out and put them on the counter before reading the recipe over for the first time. Apparently it would take about ten hours to cook, time she didn't have. She sighed, then headed back to where Sands lay.
"Sands?" She said, then realized that she was getting sick of calling him that. He lifted his head slightly, then lay it back down.
"Mm?" He said, then coughed. Trillian frowned with...pity? She pitied him now...
"Uh...it takes a long time for the pork to cook." She said, clearing her throat nervously. Why was she nervous? The truth was, she didn't know. She knew that this guy had been through hell and back in only about a day.
"But...whenever you get it at some tortilla RIA, it's out in like...half an hour." Sands protested in his defense.
"Well, they have the pork pre-simmered, I'm sure. I mean, heat lamps, you know?"
"But..." Sands began again, lifting his head fully. He began coughing again, and Trillian shushed him.
"Listen. Lie down, get rest. You need it." Trillian said, moving the couch cushion aside. Then a thought struck her, making her feel stupid for not thinking of it before.
"Do you need to call someone? Anyone at all?" She asked lightly.
"No..." Sands said slowly, shaking his head. "Wait. Yes." He said, seeming suddenly alert.
Trillian nodded. "Okay. I'll go get the phone."
------
The phone call was a difficult one, mostly because Sands forgot that he couldn't dial until he had the phone in his hand.
Trillian helped him dial, then left him alone to talk.
Eavesdropping was not usually something she did. She wasn't nosy...but something made her want to hear this. She picked up the phone in the bedroom quietly, and heard it ring on the other end.
Then, a voice. A woman's voice, in a clipped English accent. Trillian's blood ran cold.
"Aurelia Sands. Make it quick."
Trillian's mouth fell open, mostly out of shock.
"Rei?" Sands' painful rasp cut through the silence.
"Oh. You." Rei's already cool demeanor turned icy.
"Thanks for sounding so enthusiastic. Love you too. What did I do?"
"Do the words 'ballet recital' mean anything to you, luv? As in, the one you promised my daughter you'd be in attendance of last night?"
"Shit, that was last night?" Sands said, and Trillian could just see him smacking his forehead.
"Mm-hmm. Yeah. Lina was absolutely crushed. How could you possibly forget, Sheldon?" She put a sarcastic emphasis on the word 'Sheldon'.
"Don't, Rei, don't call me Sheldon." Sands snapped, obviously annoyed. Trillian bit her tongue to keep from snickering. Sheldon? That was a banker name. Or a turtle. Not the kind of CIA badass you found in an alleyway with no eyes and eight rounds of ammo buried in his flesh.
"I'll call you whatever the hell I want, Jeffrey."
Trillian furrowed her eyebrows. Jeffrey? Like, giraffe, Jeffrey? What was this guy's NAME, anyway? Sheldon, Jeffrey, or Sands? She shook it off and waited for his reply, which came quickly after.
"Alright, uber-bitch, you wanna know why I wasn't at Lina's recital? I was busy getting my eyes chopped out of their sockets by some psycho cartel leader." He snarled into the mouthpiece.
There was silence on the other end of the line, before Rei found her voice.
"The hell? Oh my God..." She swallowed, and Trillian could sense her change tones completely. "Where are you?"
There was a pause.
"Uh..." Sands began, then shouted down the hall. "Trillian!"
Trillian panicked and heard "Who the hell is--", before she hung up the phone quietly.
"Yeah?" She called, an unfamiliar feeling of dread seeping into her stomach.
"Where am I?" Sands called out.
"Uh..." Trillian began, pausing. "Durango." She called back.
"What?!? You took me all the fucking way to DURANGO?" He shouted, disbelieving. Then he started coughing again, and Trillian took the opportunity to dodge back into the bedroom and pick up the phone.
The woman on the other line was still raging.
"You're with a WOMAN!?!? Just a minute, sweetie...I'll get you your ice cream..." Trillian heard the tinny voice of a little girl in the background.
"Where's Daddy?"
"He's not here right now, Lina. Right now I need you to be a good girl and let Mummy have a very important talk on her phone..."
Trillian gagged. Oh God...they have a kid! I've been having...oh GOD! Her eyes were wide with...what was it? Jealousy? She didn't know what to think. Sands was married. To the Ice-Queen, from what it sounded, although she was sure they were compatible...And they had a child. She almost kicked him out right there. But...what had she expected? She hadn't seen a ring, but he was most likely deep undercover...He was married.
"Will you stop farting around with Catalina, please? I have no...fucking...eyes! I'm in another country, in some stranger's house. I need you down here, NOW."
"Ah, moral support, honey? Sorry, I didn't mean that." Aurelia said, sounding truly apologetic. "Look, I'll get there ASAP, I promise. Just...hang in there, okay?"
"Fuck you." Sands said shortly, hanging up.
"Wait--I need directions!" Rei said, and Trillian jumped in.
"Uh...hello?" She said uncertainly, hoping that the woman didn't realize she was listening in. "This is AFN Agent Trillian Montgomery."
"Agent Aurelia Sands, CIA. Charmed, Mrs. Montgomery."
"Oh, uh...It's Miss, actually." Trillian said uncomfortably.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Not thinking too clearly right at the moment...I've just received quite a shock, actually--Lina, put that down!"
Trillian raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, yes. You need directions to the house, I imagine, you know, to get Sands--" She stopped, not sure if using the name 'Sands' worked at the moment. Well, it belonged to both of them, didn't it?
"Well, unless I'm planning on asking every bloody person on the way from Austin to Durango--"
Sarcastic much? Trillian wondered, a cynical look finding its way across her face.
"I...I suppose not." She stammered, then told her the address. Apparently Rei had paper handy, because she kept 'mmm-hmming' every few lines. Trillian saw something move out of the corner of her eye, and turned abruptly to look. Sands was stumbling down the hall, using his hands for guidance. When Trillian had given Rei all the directions, she hung up and stood to assist him.
She turned into the hall to see Sands smash into a side table, sending it's contents crashing to the floor.
"Oops." Sands uttered, before moving on, careful not to trip over anything.
"Rei seems nice." Trillian commented, although it was the farthest thought from her mind.
"Pfft." Sands said, although his expression softened considerably as he hobbled along. "Yeah, contrary to popular belief, I love her more than I let on." He said, and Trillian's heart sunk into her toes.
"That's...great." She said, as Sands crashed into a door.
"Do you need help?" She asked for what seemed like the millionth time.
"Only until I get there." Sands said, grimacing.
"Get where?" Trillian asked, confused.
"The john." Sands said bluntly.
"Oh." Trillian said, suppressing a laugh.
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Review time! Mwahahaha...!