Disclaimer: Math lesson: Darkwing plus Megavolt plus every other character mentioned = not mine

HUGE thanks to the reviewers, you rock!

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"AAARRRGGGHHH!"

Darkwing Duck and Megavolt held onto the railings of the scaffolding in a white-knuckle grip as it fell. Cables snapped, buckets and cleaning supplies scattered into the air. Darkwing looked at his blurred image in the passing windows of the building, trying to catch one last glimpse of himself before he turned into purple street pizza.

Suddenly the scaffolding jerked to an abrupt halt, flattening Darkwing and Megavolt to the floor.

Darkwing held very still, his breath coming in quick gasps. He started to feel a strange sensation…he was sliding…

The mallard stuck out his hand like a snake and grabbed onto the railing. He heard a strangled yelp behind him. He twisted his head around to see Megavolt holding onto either side of the scaffolding and shaking like a leaf, about an inch from the end of the platform.

Darkwing blinked.

"Hey, we're not dead," he said in a surprised but happy tone.

"Nothing gets by you," Megavolt retorted.

Darkwing shot him a nasty look, then surveyed his surroundings, realizing why they had almost slid off the platform.

The scaffolding was hanging on an angle, dangling precariously by a precious few cables. It swayed ominously in the soft breeze; a strong wind would give them a one-way ticket to the ground in a heartbeat.

"Oh great…this thing's about as stable as you are Megs," Darkwing commented bitterly.

"So?" Megavolt said, "this is a window washing thing. All we've gotta do is crawl into a window and we're saved. We've got about a hundred windows to choose from, so…"

The rat leaned forward and reached for a window. The scaffolding tilted dangerously.

"MEGAVOLT! HEEL!" Darkwing commanded.

Megavolt instantly shrunk back and said sheepishly, "Heh heh…whoops…"

Darkwing rolled his eyes.

"You're doing it all wrong. An escape with this kind of convolution requires poise, cunning, and dexterity! Watch and learn."

Darkwing chose his footing carefully and stretched towards the window. He fingered the outer rim, and a smug smile formed on his beak. However, the smile quickly disappeared when the scaffolding lurched violently.

"Yipes!" Darkwing cried out, and latched himself onto the railing.

"Congratulations," Megavolt muttered.

The scaffolding continued to rock perilously. The masked mallard chanced a glance over the edge and down to the streets below. The mere sight of the drop made his insides writhe.

"Lucky for us, SCREWIT happens to be the second tallest building in St. Canard," he grumbled sarcastically, "Perfect. Juuust perfect. We're too high to be reached by a crane, too close to the building to be rescued by helicopter – "

"And because SOMEONE decided to have the building evacuated, there's no one inside to save us!" Megavolt barked accusingly.

"Wait…my gas gun! I can use my grappling hook and we're home free!"

"Boo ya!" Megavolt cheered.

Darkwing pulled out his gas gun, and began padding his jacket for the hook. He frowned and padded faster.

Megavolt raised an eyebrow and asked, "Well?"

"Wouldn't ya know it, I uh…appear to have left it in my other costume," Darkwing informed, grinning nervously.

"Oh that's just splendid, now we can just sit here and wait 'til we fall to our DOOM!" Megavolt growled.

The rat tightened his grip on the floorboards and glimpsed over the edge cautiously. His brow furrowed.

"I can't remember if I'm afraid of heights or not."

"You're not," Darkwing assured. The last thing he needed was for the villain to freak out while immobility determined their life or death.

"Oh, okay, that's good. Hey, how do you know?" Megavolt asked skeptically.

"I know a lot more about you than you would think."

"Oh yeah? Like what?!"

Darkwing glanced upward in thought and began to list, "Oh, nothing much, just your 'secret' identity, what you were like in high school, how you became a villain…"

He would have ticked them off on his fingers had he possessed the courage to let go of the railing.

"What are you, my stalker or something? How do you know all that?!" Megavolt shrieked.

Darkwing sighed and looked down at the streets once more. He could barely make out what looked to be a homeless man staring up at them in interest. Well, it wasn't like they didn't have time on their hands…

"Megavolt, do you want to hear a story?"

"Does it have a self-stabilizing fusion generator in it?"

"Um…no…"

"Then no, no I don't want to hear a story."

Darkwing scowled.

"Well then shut up, because yer gonna hear one anyway!"

"Fine. You can talk your beak off and I won't listen…not like that's anything new…"

"Okay then…I'll just leave out the part about the science lab…"

Megavolt raised an eyebrow.

"Did you say 'science lab'?"

"No I said Winnebago. Yes, science lab!" Darkwing snapped, then took a deep, calming breath before continuing, "Now that I have your attention…our story begins not so long ago, on a muggy, late summer's day in St. Canard High School…"

Drake Mallard fidgeted in his seat, tugging at his collar in an attempt to cool down. It was already stifling in the small chemistry lab, and the Bunsen burners did not help. Class better start soon, or else Mr. Beakerford was going to be teaching a puddle of sweat.

"Curse these stylish bellbottoms," Drake mumbled.

Hamm String waltzed into the lab like he owned the place, Preena Lott practically glued to his side. Drake's eyes shot up the clock instinctively. It was 11:33. Class started at 11:30.

"Hold it right there Hamm!" Drake shouted in an authoritative voice, "Three minutes late just won't do! As honorary hall monitor I demand that you – ACK!"

Hamm wrapped a beefy hand around the mallard's neck.

"Ah Drake, you never cease to amaze," he said with a chuckle, before tossing Drake roughly aside.

Hamm plopped into the seat previously occupied by Drake, with Preena squealing beside him, "Oooh Hamilton! That was hilarious!"

Drake landed unceremoniously in another chair, banging his forehead on the lab table in the process. His subconscious now reduced to a merry-go-round, Drake turned to the person next to him and said stupidly, "Hey Elmo, how's it hangin'?"

The rat, who had his nose buried in a book, turned to Drake.

"Nothing is hanging, but if you mean my health, then I am fine, thank you," Elmo Sputterspark said quietly, then returned to his book.

"Whatcha readin'?" Drake asked, his voice slurred.

"Chemistry, High School Edition, Grade 12."

"Why's that?"

"I am just brushing up on today's lesson."

"Why's that?" Drake asked.

"So I am better prepared for the forthcoming lab."

"Why's that?"

"To maintain my GPA."

"Why's that?"

Elmo blinked. Knowing that staring was rude, he quickly averted his gaze. Suddenly Mr. Beakerford swept into the room.

"Sorry all, I – "

"HA! This Drake kid sounds like a real loser!"

Darkwing Duck snapped out of storytelling trance.

"What?"

"This Drake kid," Megavolt said, snickering, "he's a wimp! But, I am intrigued by that Elmo fella. Tell me more."

Darkwing stuck his tongue out at the villain, then cleared his throat.

"As I was saying…Mr. Beakerford, the renowned St. Canard High chemistry teacher, swept into the room…"

"Sorry all, I had a bit of, er, trouble getting here," Beakerford sputtered.

As the teacher rummaged through his notes, Hamm mimed puffing an invisible cigarette. Or what looked to be a cigarette, at least. Preena and the surrounding students giggled.

"You know the lab – we previewed it yesterday. Get with your partners," Beakerford commanded.

Drake, his head finally clear, looked around. Hamm and Preena were together, no questions asked…Ferdy and Geraldine were already together…Jim and Cummings too…

Before he knew it, everyone was paired up. Drake looked at Elmo and said in the brightest voice he could manage, "Guess it's you and me again."

Elmo nodded and began retrieving safety goggles out of a drawer. Drake sighed. This wasn't the first time he and Elmo had been stuck together. Yeah well, it could be worse, Sputterspark wasn't all that bad. They had known each other since grade school, and since then their so-called "friendship" had improved more than their position on the social ladder, if only by a slight margin.

"Just a quick reminder," Beakerford interrupted, "before you move onto the chemicals, you will be dealing briefly with weak electrical charges – when you have a weak positive and a weak negative charge between two objects, like the balloons we'll have today, what neutralizes it?"

Elmo's hand shot up.

"Yes Mr. Sputterspark?"

"Spraying the balloons with water is the easiest and most efficient way to neutralize their charges."

"Excellent. Did everyone get that? Right? Okay…begin!"

--

The end of class bell rang, and the students bustled out of the room faster than you could say "inertia." Drake and Elmo walked out, Elmo still trying to rub off the scorch marks from his chemistry book.

"Sorry about that," Drake said guiltily.

"Not a problem," Elmo answered quietly.

Silence came between them, and in an effort to break it, Drake asked, "Sooooo…are you going to the Prom tonight?"

"No, I am not," Elmo answered simply.

Though he wasn't surprised, the mallard prodded further.

"Why not? It's the Prom, it's an extra special night to remember…at least that's what they say."

"No thank you…I can't dance that well…I don't have anyone to go with."

"Well neither do I, but that's no reason to – "

"Mr. Sputterspark, may I have a word?" came Mr. Beakerford's voice from the emptying classroom.

Elmo glanced at Drake awkwardly before scurrying back into class. Drake pulled himself away reluctantly.

"It's wrong to eavesdrop, it's wrong to eavesdrop, it's wrong to eavesdrop," he drilled himself, and marched diligently to his locker.

He was replacing his chemistry book for his history when Elmo stormed out of the classroom, looking pink in the face and somewhat flustered. Curiosity getting the better of him, Drake abandoned his open locker and caught up with Elmo.

"Elmo! Hey, wait up! Whatsa matter?"

The rat whirled to face him. Drake was taken aback – he looked mildly peeved. And mildly peeved for Elmo was like infuriated beyond reason for just about anyone else in the entire school.

"Mr. Beakerford…the Science Club…the school…they won't donate money towards my project!"

"What project?"

"The one on static electricity! I can harness it, I know I can, I just have yet to test it, but those fools in the Science Club say it isn't possible! It could revolutionize science, but the school refuses to support my studies, and do you know what they donated their money to instead?!"

"Uh, no, I don't…"

"They have purchased an outdoor sprinkler system!" Elmo shrieked in a high-pitched voice.

Suddenly Elmo was knocked to the floor. Hamm String was standing behind him, both he and his girlfriend laughing hysterically.

"Hey, gotta keep the football fields green somehow," Hamm chuckled.

Drake snarled and leapt forward, striking a dramatic pose.

"Back off Hamm, or prepare to get stuffed!" he shouted.

With that, the mallard leapt forward with a loud, "HIYA!" only to be snatched by the collar by Hamm.

"Sorry Drake the Dweeb," Hamm said, holding Drake so his feet didn't touch the floor, "but I think you'll be the one getting stuffed…into a locker, that is!"

Hamm shoved Drake effortlessly into the mallard's own locker. A large crowd of students had gathered around now, watching eagerly.

"Comfy?" Hamm asked sweetly.

"Um, if you could just move my arm, I tend to cramp easily, heh heh," Drake tried weakly.

Hamm slammed the locker shut with a loud clang!