Disclaimer: I can see it now, a big song and dance number to the tune of "These Characters Are Not Mine, They're Disney's"…
MAJOR thanks to the reviewers, you're awesome!
"So, what happens next?"
"Huh?"
"What…happens…next…" Megavolt repeated slowly.
"Oh, well sooooooorry, St. Canard only happens to be a huge city, and huge cities don't tend to be QUIET!" Darkwing snapped, "Anyway…I see you find my storytelling abilities to be, oh, exceptionally compelling? Gripping?"
"Not really, I think your style's all wrong. But the story sounds vaguely familiar…do I know that Preena chick?" Megavolt asked.
Darkwing rolled his eyes and glanced over the edge of the scaffolding. They had attracted a small group of people, pointing up at them and shouting to one another.
"Good to see I can still draw a crowd," the masked mallard muttered.
"Hey you! The one in the mask! On with the story!" Megavolt barked impatiently.
Darkwing grinned slyly and cleared his throat in a slow, deliberate manner before continuing, "Well, since you've waited so patiently…Drake Mallard waltzed out of the auditorium and into the cool, summer's night…"
He had never felt better in his entire life. He felt so light he was practically floating, but so tight with excitement he could explode on the spot. A broad grin was tattooed onto his face, he strode with confidence, his arms swinging heartily.
He would never forget his Senior Prom now, but not in the way most do. He had found a new side to himself tonight. An alter ego, one that wasn't ridiculed, mocked, ignored…no, this alter ego was heroic, respected, admired…he was perfect.
Only hours before he had been shouting out his locker combination to Elmo after being trapped in there by Hamm, being laughed and jeered at all the while. But now, in just a few minute's time, he had become their savior, their hero.
He had defeated a new criminal, a true straight-out-of-the-comics supervillain if he ever saw one, using his own intellect and agility. He had saved his peers from certain annihilation, and best of all, was praised for it.
Drake glanced at his watch instinctively.
"Whoa, almost ten o'clock…better take a shortcut," he said to himself.
Drake literally skipped across the track and into the football fields. As he made his way across grass, his mood only lightened.
"I'm so happy – I could sing! Let's see…I can see cleeeeearly now, the rain is gone…I can see all – okay maybe I won't sing. But still, this is terrific, nothing could possibly rain on my parade!"
With that, the new sprinkler system came to life, drenching Drake from head to webbed foot.
"Well who is he?" Megavolt interrupted.
"Who's who?" Darkwing Duck snapped, glaring at the rat for the breach in story time.
"Whatshisname's alter ego – Drake's?"
Darkwing scowled.
"Patience is a virtue battery brains!" he hissed indignantly, "Now do you want me to finish the story or not?!"
"Well it's hard to be patient when I have to wait 'til you stop blabbering so I can tell my story!" Megavolt yelled.
"You've got a story?"
"No I just said that for my health."
"A story that you actually remember?"
"OF COURSE I – wait…um…oh yeah! I remember it now!"
Darkwing sighed.
"All right, let's hear it, it'll give me a chance to rest my melodious vocal cords anyhow."
Megavolt's face instantly brightened, literally, and he launched into his story in a cheery voice.
"It was a dark and stormy night – "
"Yawn," Darkwing interjected sarcastically.
"Hardy har har. Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted…it was a dark and stormy night. Everyone's nerves were on the edge…"
A youngster named Phil turned to his best friend Mike.
"Oh dearest Mike! I am so utterly frightened! Should the power go out, I am doomed!"
Mike tried his best to comfort him by saying, "Fear not good Phil, for I am here, here to defend you from the horrors this tempest hath wrought!"
"Mr. Rowave, I thanks to you burns from deep inside!"
"No thanks are needed Mr. Ament, my service to you asks no payment in return!"
Phil glowed, his happiness a –
"Wait a second."
"What?!" Megavolt barked at Darkwing angrily.
"Megavolt…did you just say that these guys' names are Phil Ament and Mike Rowave?" Darkwing asked skeptically.
Megavolt asked as if it was obvious, "Your point?"
"These two wouldn't happen to be a light bulb and a microwave, by any chance, would they?" Darkwing questioned, a scowl forming on his face.
"Uh, yeah, what did you think they were? Toaster ovens?" Megavolt asked.
Darkwing opened his beak to reply, then thought better of it.
"I won't even dignify that with a response," he muttered, shaking his head wearily, "let's go back to my story, shall we?"
"Do I have a choice?" Megavolt mumbled sarcastically.
"Do I have a choice?" Darkwing mocked, then continued, "We join Drake Mallard one week after the Prom, where our promising protagonist is purchasing some pressing properties at the local drugstore…"
Drake held the two small boxes close to his face, analyzing the small print.
"Hmm…which film to use for my eight by ten glossies…the 35mm color print or the nighttime exposure?"
Just then, he heard a familiar sounding voice coming from the checkout line. The mallard's brow furrowed. It was pretty darned late at night, he thought he was the only one in here. He stealthily peered around a magazine rack, and gasped. At the cash register stood a rat in an unforgettable jumpsuit and a hairstyle to match. Drake reached under his shirt…
Darkwing Duck leapt out from hiding and shouted, "MEGAVOLT!"
Megavolt whipped around, eyes wide with shock, clutching a bottle to his heaving chest –
"Whoa, wait a nanosecond! I'm in this story too?!" Megavolt asked, stopping Darkwing's story abruptly.
"No, it's a different Megavolt. Jeez, how many 'Megavolt's' do you know?! Yes it's you! Now stop interrupting!" Darkwing shrieked.
"Well of course not, I'm in it, so now it's finally interesting. Do continue," Megavolt urged.
"Ahem. The jumpsuited rat with the wild do whipped around…"
Before the young crime fighter could get another word out, the crazy-haired rodent bolted out of the store. Darkwing followed.
Outside the drugstore, Darkwing called to Megavolt, "There's no use running away Meggie, I'm right behind ya!"
Megavolt stopped and turned around.
"I'm not running away! You just scared me! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to sneak up on people like that?!"
Darkwing continued, paying no heed to his question, "What're you doing here?! I thought the cops arrested you on Prom night!"
"Ha, I used the whole 'it's society's fault' routine, and ta da! Instant freedom!" Megavolt answered, a hint of triumph in his voice.
Darkwing squinted at the bottle in the rat's hands.
"Hey Megavolt…is that…skin moisturizer?"
"Huh?" Megavolt said, then glanced at the bottle in his hands, "Oh, so it is…well 'scuse me, having electricity surging through your veins really dries out the epidermis!"
"Itchy, irritated skin or not, it doesn't change the fact that you didn't pay for it!" Darkwing shouted, pointing an accusing finger.
"Oh yeah, forgot about that, sorry," Megavolt said apologetically, and reached into his pocket for some change.
Suddenly he stopped. Megavolt grinned, feeling particularly reckless. It had been easy enough to walk, well, flee in terror with the bottle, and convenient at that…
"Ya know, I think I'll just keep it as a souvenir…" he said with a small chuckle.
The rat dashed away with –
"I stole skin moisturizer?!"
"Yes, strange but true, it was your first heist," Darkwing answered, putting the brakes on his storytelling.
"I'm starting to remember that…" Megavolt murmured thoughtfully, "…I had this horrible allergic reaction to the aloe, and it made my skin break out in these hideous – "
"Ooooookay, back to the story," Darkwing said loudly, cutting him off, "The young Darkwing Duck sprinted after the fleeing criminal…"
"Hey – wait – come back here!" Darkwing cried after him.
They ran down the streets and several alleys before Megavolt caught sight of several citizens boarding a large bus.
"The cross-town bus! HA HA! Sayonara Darkwing Yuck!" the rat called before skirting up the bus steps.
The bus doors closed, and with a blast of exhaust, it began motoring down the street.
"G'oh…good thing I know the bus route like the back of my hand. Away!" Darkwing shouted dramatically, then his brow furrowed, "Away? No, that doesn't sound right…um…up up and away? No, I can't fly…off I go? No, not enough flair…no wait, I got it! LET'S GET…that crook!"
--
As Megavolt sat calmly in the bus seat, he smiled to himself. Now it was his turn to outwit that annoying purple –
The bus doors opened, and Darkwing Duck suddenly leapt on board.
"You've gotta be kidding me!" Megavolt cried.
"Found ya you ludicrous light bulb!" Darkwing yelled, "Now come quietly so you don't have to embarrass both of us."
The other passengers stared at them in disturbed silence. Megavolt rose from his seat with a polite, "excuse me" to the surrounding commuters and planted his feet in the aisle, facing Darkwing squarely.
"You got nothin' on me duck, so hit the road!"
"You shoplifted you – "
"Hey!" the burly bus driver suddenly growled at Darkwing, "what part of 'get behind the yellow line while bus is in motion' don't you understand?!"
Darkwing rolled his eyes and took a step forward, making sure his feet were behind the line. He heard the passengers scream, and he looked up, only to see Megavolt hurl a bolt of electricity in his direction. The masked mallard yelped in surprise and ducked, and the bolt ricocheted off the windshield.
Darkwing Duck opened his mouth to shoot off a snappy comeback, but was interrupted.
"All right, that's it!" the bus driver shouted gruffly, "Both a' you freak shows sit down and shut up or our next stop's gonna be the police station!"
"Sorry didn't mean it won't happen again," Darkwing and Megavolt mumbled quietly while taking their seats.
Three rows up, Darkwing shot daggers at Megavolt. The rat glared back at him before fingering his rubber gloves. Darkwing tapped his foot impatiently. When was the next stupid stop?! This was taking forever, all he wanted to do was catch the bad guy…
The bus suddenly screeched to a halt. Darkwing leapt to his feet and stuck out his hand, declaring, "Stop! In the name of Darkwing – "
Megavolt barreled past him, poking the crime fighter in the shoulder and giving him a jolt of electricity. The rat dashed out of the bus and into the street.
"Ouchie," Darkwing muttered.
He shook off the pain and darted out of the bus. Up ahead, he saw Megavolt stop and turn to face him.
"So, finally shaking hands with the long arm of the law eh?" Darkwing asked in triumphant voice.
"No, I've decided to show you what happens when Mr. Atom becomes Mr. Free Moving Electrical Current!" Megavolt said with an evil grin.
He raised his hands above his head and they began glowing with a massive amount of electricity. Before Darkwing could react, Megavolt blasted him with his most powerful electric attack to date.
As the mallard's body spasmed with electricity, Megavolt dashed into the shadows, cackling madly. Darkwing stood still for a moment, a blackened, charred mess.
"I've always hated being electrocuted" Darkwing said weakly, and collapsed.